


Silver and Cold

by EnidZsasz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Sexual Situations, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is a kinky bastard, Blow Jobs, Breeding Kink, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Reylo, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Forced Orgasm, Harm to Children, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Knights of Ren - Freeform, Light BDSM, Long Shot, Loss of Virginity, Male-Female Friendship, Masturbation, Mind Control, Non-Consensual Kissing, Orgasm Denial, Partial Mind Control, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Rey is a Palpatine (Star Wars), Vaginal Fingering, no beta we die like men, rey is older than Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 93,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnidZsasz/pseuds/EnidZsasz
Summary: Rey is a child looking for one thing a family. She is picked up by Luke Skywalker and grows up in the Jedi academy occasionally visiting Ben Solo. Whom her whole life seems to revolve around as she wants to give him everything she never had. As time goes on and she grows older Rey realizes some very harsh truths about herself.
Relationships: Ben Solo/ Rey - Relationship, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/ Master Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. This is what you can keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afterblossom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterblossom/gifts).



> Oh lord, this is really long. If I need to tag more things please tell me!

Rey smiled in the lift, it was the first time she had been out of tanul in at least a year. Tekka was with her and Luke as they traveled up to ‘friends and family’ as the two older men described to her. Rey wasn’t entirely sure why she was traveling with them, but she was ecstatic anyways. Barely seven years old she was focused on the fact that they were in Cloud City, high above in a floating fortress that was more well guarded than five military bases put together. 

The lift stalled, and several scans rushed through it, then opened up Rey lept forwards, jarring the two older men in her excitement. Luke chuckled, but Rey heard a small party. Where there was a party, and people, there was food. She was still uneasy when she didn’t have easy access to food all the time. “You’d think I starved her.” Tekka commented as Rey rushed to the refreshments table and looked over it. Luke chuckled with Tekka. 

Several people looked to her, all of them older than her as she gaped at the spread. There were things she had only HEARD of there. Like rare- her hand was slapped down as she reached for a gobblet. “Hey!” she called. An older man was smiling at her, the slap hadn’t hurt at all. 

“Kids shouldn’t drink.” he commented as she blinked at him and blushed. Lando stood in front of her and she hung her head down. “It's okay kiddo.” he held out another small cup in front of her. “This one isn’t an adult drink.” 

“I know what alcohol is.” she snapped and put her nose up. Lando just laughed as she blushed and took the drink. 

“Of course,” Lando looked away from her. “HEY! It's the destroyer himself!” Lando called and gave Luke a friendly pat. 

“I hope she isn't in trouble.” Tekka commented after they had greeted each other and Rey had consumed quite a few things she only took a bite of. Adult food just seemed to be gross for the sake of being gross. 

“No, the little girl just tried to become an early lush.” Lando commented. 

“I wouldn’t have taken two sips!” Rey yelled much to the older men’s amusement. 

“Rey, what did I say about being polite?” Tekka warned. 

“I am polite, he was just mean.” Lando laughed at her as she stood adroitly. “He slapped my hand from getting the booze.” Luke hid his face as Tekka mourned what little of decorum and proper language he had been able to drill into her in the interim year she had spent with him. “Am I that funny?” she demanded crossly. 

“No, no no.” Luke mollified trying not to laugh as she huffed. “Why don’t you go find the other kids?” Luke pointed towards a small ‘play’ area where various dignitaries and more had deposited their children. Tended to by droids and only one human nanny, Rey looked at the table and back to them. 

“But I’m hungry.” Lando snorted, as Tekka gave a long sigh. 

“You are always hungry. Take a plate with you if you must. But we can’t keep watch on you Rey.” Tekka told her. She snorted but followed his advice making up a plate of what she didn’t spit out on the first try. 

“I take it she is a bit of a little scrapper.” Lando commented as she half listened lingering. 

“Yes she is, it's like trying to educate a Ewok.” Tekka said and she grimaced feeling upset. It wasn’t her fault, she thought. They just didn’t know what to do, like how to shield yourself from the sun, how to avoid sandstorms. What is best to pick up in the trash pits and to harvest from ships. How to defend yourself...

“She tried to steal my ship on Jakku.” Luke commented and looked at her with a smile. Pointing again, the hurt she felt a little soothed with Luke’s comment she took her plate hearing the last comment from Lando. 

“Jakku? That junkyard? Literally nowhere for a little Jedi to come from.” 

“She isn’t a jedi. Not even a trainee, I don’t think she has a tiny bit of the force.” Luke replied. Hurt and upset increased as she passed over the barrier lifted by a ‘friendly’ looking droid that probably took her picture to make sure she wouldn’t be able to get past the little play area full of kids her age and younger. 

They all looked to her, she looked down at her plate and hissed. “MINE!” they backed away from her, obviously scared at the feral thing now placed with them. Rey ignored them and gobbled her food down, still feeling upset. Sniffing she went to a corner. Luke had said he was impressed, she had thought that maybe… just maybe she could be something. 

Rey hugged herself as the other children played. They played; Rey didn’t do play even as one of the kids offered her a place on their tag team. “Playing is stupid, and a stupid waste of breath.” she answered them as they gaped at her. Playing was something the rich did to showcase that they could just do nothing. Rey worked, her whole life was work. Huffing she grew tired of watching the stupid kids play and went to the exit. Manned by a droid that looked at her. 

“I want out please.” she told it. 

“Children are not allowed to go out without an escort.” the droid answered dutifully. 

“Did I come with an escort?” the droid paused, arm going down to the gate, it was all she needed. Leaping on the arm and using it as a way to swing over the head high gate. The other kids gasped and rushed to the edge as she stood at the other side and smiled at them. “Easy peasy.” she told them and brushed herself off dramatically. They cheered her on as she rushed in and ducked around the adults. 

A few remarked on her presence but as they didn’t know who she had come with they could only snap at her to get back to the children’s area. She ducked around a massive lady’s trailing dress, and under a table laden with more food she didn't know or taste. 

She reached up under the table groping for a large plate and food. A chuckle and one hand placed a roll into her hand as she yanked it back and ate. The one who deposited it bent down and peeked at her. "You don't like other kids?" The older man asked. 

"Why would I play with dumb kids?" She answered. He chuckled smiling. "Aren't there pots to scrub? They can be productive!" Rey pushed a few hard credits she had pocketed in her stroll to the table deeper in her pocket. He smiled at her and a wookie grunted a few lines about what was going on. 

"Just a kid Chewie." The man commented. 

"I am not a dumb stupid kid!" She snapped making the man laugh as he stood up. Rey crawled out, shoving the rest of the roll into her face as she faced the wookie. 

"You should be with the other kids." Chewie told her. 

"You should herd nerfs!" She snapped. The wookie craned down at her as the man roared into a laugh. 

"You speak wookie?" He asked. 

"I do a lot of things." Rey said and straightened herself proudly. Looking over the table for something that looked tasty. 

"Oh for the sake of-" Tekka mumbled breathlessly. Rey looked up and hid herself behind the wookie despite being found out. 

"This one yours old man?" The guy asked. 

"Beat him up for me will you? I don't want to go to the dumb creche." Rey grunted, whined and said in wookie. He put a large paw on top of her head. 

"Thank you Han for distracting her. She is more trouble than I thought." Rey tilted her head down and felt a sob break through. 

"No problem, I have this sort of thing to look out for after all." Tekka looked at her sharply and she slowly edged away from the wookie looking down. 

"Rey if you are so intent on causing trouble I want to stay at least two feet from me at all times." He commanded. She just nodded not looking good up. "Rey?" 

"Yes Tekka." She answered and followed him as he gave a sigh. Speaking to random dignitaries and jockeying for some more infrastructure to be built on Jakku. Rey didn't see the point, he had to be extremely circumspect in his asking. Why not come out and just say it, she started growing more irritated as he spoke with one aged man. One of the leftovers from the fall of the empire. He most definitely wasn't going to donate anything. Though Tekka hit him up all the same. 

The moment he was distracted she slipped away again heading towards a small well guarded area. The guards were a mix of droids and people, leaving her to slip easily through. Sure that she could net something nifty, small, and expensive. "You!" Luke put a hand on her shoulder before she got far and she struggled. 

"Let me go!" She yelled and kicked him. The wookie from before picked her up and held her kicking and screaming until she calmed herself from the jolt Luke had caused. 

"Calm now kiddo?" Luke asked. She stuck her tongue out to him. Luke laughed. "Let her go, she's Tekka's ward." Rey turned her head and glared to the wookie. 

"Eat a banthas butt." She told him in wookie. The wookie laughed too, but he let her go. 

"Come on." Luke motioned her to follow him and she did so. 

"Reminds me of my own children when they were young." Chewie commented lightly as she followed Luke without commenting further. Where she came to what all the people and droids were guarding Rey felt ashamed of herself. 

An older lady sat next to a baby's creche chatting with a few people, one of them Lando, the other the man who had been with the Wookie. They smiled as they looked up to Luke then frowned in confusion when Rey tagged along with him. Lando shook his head smiling. Rey thought the lady had to be a princess, or empress just for being this well guarded. 

"Who is this Luke? I thought you weren't bringing one of your students." She said as Rey slowly hid behind the safety of Luke's legs. "It's okay little one. I wont hurt you." 

"She's not mine, she belongs with Tekka." He smiled and hugged the other woman. "I take it you're not convalescing even though we all told you to?" 

"Quiet you!" She snapped happily to Luke. "It is good to see you; go on have a look." She looked to Rey at the last bit as Rey craned her neck trying to see the baby. Babies were a rarity on Jakku. The lady motioned Rey closer and she obeyed looking down at the kid. 

"Is this one yours?" She asked. The lady laughed. 

"He could be." She smiled and Rey relaxed. "Want to hold him?" She blanched in terror. 

"No ma'am! Lady! Grand person!" Rey said quickly trying to think of all the words she knew could apply to a person of high regard. All the people there laughed at her as she blushed. 

"Leia. Call me Senator if you must." Rey nodded. 

"A senator Kesyk is seeking an audience with the two of you." A human guard said. Looking at Luke and Leia. Leia sighed but smiled to Rey standing up with a bit of difficulty. Rey reached to try to help her and she smiled brightly down at Rey. Rey felt blessed with it as Leia motioned her to sit down. 

"Send him in, here." Leia scooped up the baby and gently put him in Rey's lap. Rey froze looking up to Luke and Leia for dear life. 

"Hold his head." Luke stepped up positioning her arms and hands. She felt scared, so scared that she was going to hurt him. Who must be Kesyk walked in looking flushed and she jerked her head to him. It was a sudden feeling as Leia leaned heavily against the support of Lando not able to have him to shake her hand. He did shake Luke's chatting friendly and happy. 

"Lets see the-" he said as they moved closer to Rey and the baby. She hissed and smacked his hand as hard as she could. 

"Dont you fucking touch him you piece of shit." Her voice was quiet, a factly matter as she quailed when everyone just gaped to her. She felt something horrible around him. There was something so bad he wanted that she hovered her arms around the baby. "Dont." He tried to reach again.

"Leia, just who is this?" The man chuckled but Luke frowned at him. He looked to Rey and she pleaded to him with her eyes. She couldn't know if Luke felt the same thing. She hoped he did. 

"Captain Vidaar?" Luke called. Kesyk looked panicked and made a move that was quickly squashed flat by the wookie throwing his arm out and grabbing his shoulder so roughly that his claws bit into his skin. "I think we have a traitor." Luke said as the man was deposited to the guards quickly taking him away. 

"You have to go get help!" Rey yelled and pointed to Luke. "The gloves!" Luke blinked to her and looked down at his hand. The only one to shake his hand he chuckled. 

"It's an prosthetic arm, Rey." Luke told her. "You got all of that?" Luke asked her in the somewhat calm aftermath. Han rushed to them heading right for Leia. 

"I… I just knew." She mumbled quietly and hugged the baby close. She could see something else. Something that would take years to settle in place fully. It was hard for a child to understand fully what they saw and felt with the vision. 

"Hmmm…." Luke mumbled and stared hard at her, she felt something like a poke and slapped it away. Both mentally and with a swipe of her arm. Luke smiled and she blanched, feeling like she did something wrong.

"Is Rey in here?" She heard Tekka ask loudly. She blanched further. 

"I'll go get him, protect Ben will you Rey?" She nodded. Ben. His name was Ben. She looked down to the baby. 

_ Her eyes saw a man, presiding over the remains of a few people in front of the both of them. He smiled towards her. 'Peace at least you think Rey?' He asked, smirking. Rey smiled back to him sure in the knowledge that with what was coming peace would finally set into the galaxy. Forever.  _

"Hey Ben." She spoke as he yawned and opened his eyes. She knew they were blue, but they would change soon to a green hazel color. He giggled at her and fought his arms free. She knew she had to protect him even without Luke telling her to. Sure to the last atom in her body. As far as she was concerned, Ben was the thing she would sacrifice all for. 


	2. It can't Hurt you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey visits Ben again and teaches him how to reach out to the force. She later has a nightmare that Luke helps to soothe.

Rey was brimming with excitement, Luke looked down at her as she waited. Just barely a few years into her training did little to temper her. She was waiting as the lift took them upwards to one of the many pillars of cloud city. This place was one of her favorites to go to, and she begged, pleaded, and did everything to be able to go. From stopping stealing from her classmates to hoarding food in her bed. 

“Rey.” Luke warned and she barely listened; there was a pop in her ears, they were close. “REY.” 

“Yes Luke?” she asked back quickly and smiled. Luke sighed. 

“Just behave.” Rey poked her chest a few times at her heart, a sign in Jakku of swearing. The doors slipped open and before they could even open all the way she slipped through using her small body to her advantage as she raced out and into the complex. Droids were everywhere, drones floated by on constant watch outside and there were very few humans here. Rey dodged past a cleaning droid and smiled brightly towards Leia and Han.

They stood as Luke made his slow progress and she looked around. “REY!” A little child called as she smiled. Ben barely two raced out completely naked and covered in soap bubbles, chanting her name as she knelt down and held out her arms. Scooping him up and planting a kiss on his chest. 

“BEN!” she called over and over again and kissed him as he made a lot of high giggles. Leia and Han flushed embarrassed as his nanny droid rushed into the scene exasperated. 

“I apologize, masters. He slipped from my grasp.” the nanny said as Ben fought to be free and she let him down. He grabbed her clothes tugging at her, she followed the tug letting him guide her where to go. 

“It's fine Uni!” Leia called as Ben dragged her towards the bathing rooms. “Rey?” 

“I’ve got it!” she called back letting Ben point with a frown to the bath. She tested the water, it was barely above skin warm. Rey dumped the water, letting all the toys float down, then she set the water to be warmer. 

“It's at-why did you drain the bath?” Uni asked Rey stuck her tongue out at the droid and Ben copied her. “Any hotter can cause-”   
  


“Shove it Uni!” Rey snapped and the droid seemed to sigh and settle in a small nook to make sure Ben was safe as she put hot water back into the bath. Ben reached down and tested it, eyes wide and smiling as he clambered back up into the bath letting her get all the soap off him as he showed her his various toys. “Hair.” she told him and he blanched a little. 

“I know Ben.” she squeezed the cleaner into her hands and lathered it before shoving her hands into his hair with a squeal from Ben. Playing with his hair and making odd spike shapes with the soap. None of it got into his eyes which she assumed the droid could care little for. They were programmed pretty well, but they paled in comparison to people. “Dunk.” she told him, and he laid back shaking his head a lot like Chewie did. Letting her get all the soap out from his hair without a single bit of it getting it in his eyes. 

“Better?” Ben laughed. 

“BETTER!” He called back. 

“Uni can I get a towel?” Rey called and the droid dutifully handed over a fuzzy towel, Ben tried to get free, but she mantled the large piece of cloth over him and snagged him as he tried to slip past her. Another spat of giggling, and a quick trip to his creche with Uni following behind she deposited him down. “Now, what do you want to wear?” 

“His outfit is selected-” Uni began but now given the choice by Rey he ran to his drawers, tossing out various clothes completely ignoring the very cute outfit on his bed. He pulled out almost something like the Jedi robes she had on, and she dressed him. “You will make his behavior bad, it will take weeks to correct.” Uni said in a huff. 

“Sure Uni, sure.” she stuck her tongue out at the nany droid again. Uni huffed in the way all droids huffed and went back to her corner. While Ben readied a few toys she carefully folded and put away all the clothes he tossed around. That done she turned to Ben who was busy trying to build a small senate scene with toy blocks and play dolls. A few of which looked a lot like various members that she knew in the senate. 

“Want some help?” she asked Ben, he looked at her and nodded. Rey grinned and helped to set up the blocks in a small half circle, setting the small dolls, about the size of her whole hand on various portions. Ben took a few he had near him and set them down near the center, then frowned. “What is it Ben?” she asked. He pulled out a newer toy that Rey knew Han had to have given him, it was a toy blaster. Something that would knock over very small light objects. 

“Boom!” he shot a few of the other dolls, if Rey would guess these were a few of the ones catering to the First Order. A power that had decided to rise up in the last year just beyond the unknown Regions. “Boom?” he held out the pistol to her. Rey had been in the senate building, following Luke as she seemed to have a much better sense for things that were intended to kill people. Maybe Luke was just numbed, but Rey had found charges that while wouldn’t exactly kill the ensuing chaos would allow assassins to slip in and do their deeds. 

She pointed at a supporting pillar of the scene, and knocked it down making the entire structure start to crumble. Rey quickly shepherded the two in the center to Ben, as she fired again making the entire structure collapse. Ben was silent for a moment but then giggled brightly. “Lets knock some stuff over again.” she told him and began building various towers, all to let Ben play as a giant monster to knock over the miniature buildings. “Hide and seek?” she asked him and he gave her a confused look. 

“Here,” she put her hands in front of her face and he copied her. She moved quickly, and hid behind a low couch made to let Ben crawl over and on it. Ben took his hands down and looked around. 

“Rey?” he asked in a quiet voice. A pure sense of terror rushed into him, and she stood up almost ready to grab him and run. Ben let out a surprised noise and rushed to her hugging her legs. “REY!” 

“Ben it's okay.” she soothed and crouched down hugging him back. Rey wasn’t exactly sure why he would be so scared, but if she had to bet it would have been from Leia or Han. Playing peekaboh, hide and seek or something. Then leaving midway in the game without so much as glancing to Ben. “It's okay, I’m here.” She smiled as he hiccuped shyly. Rey reached out to the force, levitating the toy blaster as he gaped to her watching as it floated to him. He took it with pure wonder in his eyes. 

“Here.” she reached out her hands and he put them in both of hers, dropping the toy blaster. There was little to no chance Ben wouldn’t have the force, she was sure of it with her whole being. “If you reach out, I am here.” Ben let go of one of her hands to touch her chin as she smiled. “No, from here.” she touched his forehead. He blinked, and frowned thinking hard. She felt it, a tiny shiver in the force, and reached out in turn. 

Ben’s face lit up, and Rey was sure that he had been trying to do something like this ever since he had been born. He could ‘sense’ her, at least his senses extended out into the room. “Now.” She held out her hands again as he recovered from now ‘knowing’ how to reach out. “Try to find me okay?” she put her hands in front of her face. Ben frowned and nodded, hiding his face. Rey hid, and Ben looked around. She still felt that trail of fear, but then felt him reach out, and find her through the force. 

He made a happy squeal when he opened up the tall closet and she tumbled out play tackling him. “You found me!” she called. It took a little while for Ben to grow tired, and she snuck out for food once he was napping. 

“...expecting this is just…” Leia said and gave a frustrated sigh. “Why don’t they just THINK?” Rey slipped into the kitchen, looking for food. 

“It is just the holdouts,” Luke tried to soothe. “They crave the power and freedom to do whatever they wanted that the empire had. We just need to foster campaigns against the ones that are up for reelection.” 

“I can’t do that Luke,” Leia hissed. Rey poked a kitchen droid. 

“Can you make me and Ben some food?” she asked it, respecting it much more than Uni. The droid nodded and quickly set to work. 

“If it has any ties to me all of that… that could trigger some people into who we are.” 

“Leia, I don’t think people would care.” Luke hedged. 

“They care, they care a lot Luke.” Leia said. “Cerise in particular I am doing all I can to please her so that she doesn’t reveal it. I know that people wont ever even think my intentions were good from the start!” Leia thumped the table. 

“Princess,” Han said and the droid put a plate down in front of Rey. It was all simple food that Ben could eat, but Rey did not complain. 

“Don’t you princess me!” 

“Vader doesn’t mean anything, least of all to me. Why would anyone else care?” 

“Because it’s Vader. He terrorized the galaxy for almost twenty years.” Leia said softly. “God how I wish I had any other father.” 

“You don’t mean that.” Luke hedged as Rey slipped back into Ben’s creche. He had a small eating table and she set the food down on it. It would keep warm until he woke up as she thought about the conversation she overheard. She knew who Vader was Luke had taught her of him, even showing her the remains of his lightsaber. One of the few things of the sith lord that had survived the fall of the empire. ‘He was a very bad man, don’t get that wrong Rey, but he tried to do good at the end.’ He had told her. 

She thought at the time it was a way to get her to behave. ‘Do good.’ Rey frowned her definition of ‘good’ was vastly different from Luke’s. Jakku said good was making sure she didn’t die, and what few allies she had didn’t either. That meant murder, stealing, almost anything was fair game. She thought harder, she remembered a few things about herself. 

One her parents, and a stormy dark planet. She never loved her family, her parents seemed to her young mind something to try to do everything to appear at least not worth killing. A baby shouldn’t have to feel that; Rey didn’t know if they hurt her. The memories were few and far between. She remembered a really old man, and blinked. Her father, she looked out at the screen that showed the clouds, there were no windows. This place wouldn’t allow it as a safe house for Ben and his family. 

“Vader huh.” she mumbled. She looked away from the clouds thinking. She knew her father was very very evil. Maybe that was why she could feel out those that wanted to hurt others, of even objects of that nature… knowing that as a base of just what he wanted. He wanted her dead, and Rey only knew of one person that would be that evil. The emperor. A shiver went through her, a truth. She wanted to forget about it, and buried it down as Ben woke. It wouldn't be good to cry in front of him. 

That night they stayed in Cloud City, Rey slept on the low couch in Ben’s room shivering under a blanket. She always slept alone, no matter what.  _ She was pulled under into a dream, it was dark, and cold. The air smelled constantly of molten rock and ozone and all the hairs stood on her body. She looked up at the high floating rock, levitated via the amount of electricity in the air and the iron within it. Or maybe just the strange magic she knew existed here. She did not like it here. She did not want to be here.  _

_ “Luke?” she called out. Her throat closed as she choked on a fearful sob. “Tekka?” she called. “Mom?” Rey felt hot tears go down her cheeks. Tears did nothing for what was here. It didn’t care she was a small scared child. “Dad?” she whispered, and the world tilted under her. Rey grabbed at the ground a few of her nails breaking as she tried to gain purchase until she was falling down as the entire structure tilted to make her fall into the dark abyss. Falling for days, hours, minutes, seconds, it didn’t matter. Rey landed heavily and painfully in the center of where this was.  _

_ It was an arena. Dark shadows crowded the stands staring at her. A machine stood by a dark throne, where it waited. It, not necessarily her father, but the DNA was all the same. “Hiding again.” the voice croaked. “Don’t think you can hide from me dear child.” a rotting hand reached out towards her. Rey huddled into a fetal position screaming. Lightning crackled around her and shot out, it screamed.  _

A sudden shaking, and Rey was awake, throwing herself into a crouch and looking up at Luke looking terribly rattled. Rey looked towards the door ready to run as she panted in terror. “Rey?” he asked quietly. She shivered huddling down to the other side of the couch staring at him without blinking. 

“Who…” she mumbled and shook the nightmare from her head. “Just a bad dream.” she said quietly and sniffed. Luke held out his hand to her and smiled at her. 

“It's okay, come with me.” she looked to the hand and back to his face. “I promise I won't hurt you.” She still didn’t move as his face went slack. “Rey, I…” he seemed at a loss as to what to do. Slowly she stood and shifted foot to foot. “Okay.” she followed him as he took her to the kitchen. Using the low light Luke busied himself in the kitchen heating water and doing something. 

He placed a steaming mug in front of her spooning out a generous portion of a very viscous liquid. Rey eyed the drink dubiously as Luke stirred his. “Try it. It will help you calm down.” she sniffed the drink before stirring it watching as the dark brown tea made a froth on top of it. Luke chuckled as she ladled some of it out and sipped at it like it would kill her. 

But it was sweet, and she liked it. Setting down the spoon to hold the hot cup in her hands. It felt good despite the warm settings of the home and the blanket she still had around her. “Will you tell me what gave you a nightmare?” he asked her. Rey sniffed, and sipped at the tea. 

“It… it was… something bad.” she said carefully. Unsure how to describe it. It was her father yet not, in a weird way he was like her grandfather. But still, as confusing as Rey found it she was sure adults wouldn’t understand. 

“Like what?” Luke pressed. Rey sniffed staring down at her cup. 

“A very… bad man?” she asked Luke looking up at him. “He was old, and… rotting. Like those… rakghouls.” Luke nodded listening. 

“Rey it's okay, you can tell me what you are really scared of.” She looked up at him. “I won't judge you.” She looked down. 

“My father wanted to hurt me.” she said softly. “He wanted to hurt me a lot.” Luke smiled reaching out then stopping as she flinched. Rey was too well controlled in her hands to cause the tea to spill. Flinching only her shoulder and pulling the tea close to her body. He looked hurt as she eyed him warily. 

“I’m sorry Rey. Was this a memory?” Rey stared into her tea. “Memories and dreams can’t hurt you.” She sipped her tea. “I could only feel your fear Rey, I won't pry unless this becomes a problem.” He set his cup down. She sniffed and he sighed. “Thank you for telling me as much as you did.” Rey drank down the rest of her tea. 

“Can I go back to bed?” Luke took her tea cup and placed both of them in an automatic washer. 

“Yes go back. Just remember I am here Rey. You can tell me things.” He offered her his hand and she shook her head as she walked back to Ben’s room. He was still sleeping, and she was glad for it. Ben’s shouldn’t have nightmares, if she took all his nightmares she’d be happy. Rey could handle nightmares. She looked down to her nails but they were whole and perfect, she didn’t ache in pain. It was just a nightmare. Nightmares can’t hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep in mind I am not saying that Luke is a crap person but dealing with a child who has had trauma is something you need special training to do so.


	3. Promise me one thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Mara Jade, someone Luke loves very much. Rey likes her, and ends up in a bit of trouble as one of her hidden cubbies is found by Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I made it clear how different Mara interacts with Rey than Luke or others. Mara knows that the touching thing is not something Rey wants so she lets Rey be the one to reach out first.

Rey floated the rock over her lap looking up to Luke beaming. He nodded with a smile and she felt a sense of pride from him. There were three others in a small group, all of them were his students and practicing. There weren’t that many students just yet, most of them partly trained by their own wills. Rey felt the ebb and flow of the force around her as the others struggled to lift a few pebbles. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do it, but doing it when you wanted it to happen was a different thing. 

“I wish I could have used this on Jakku.” Rey commented and got hissed at by Voe, a young woman a few years older than Rey. She had grey-white hair and Rey looked down feeling a vague sense of hostility from her. Rey perked up allowing the stone to drop in front of her as a ship came down near the half finished temple complex. It had been ruined a long while ago and was undergoing massive repairs. She had heard Luke saying it was one of the only ones not completely razed to the ground and that was likely because it had been abandoned before the rise of the Empire. 

Luke grinned as a ship landed distracting most of the other students. Voe concentrated again, finally grinning as she lifted Rey’s, her own, and one of the others rock. “See?” Luke questioned. “You just have to have the will.” Voe let out a heavy breath letting them fall. 

“Who is that?” Rey asked gesturing to the ship, it wasn’t familiar to her. 

“A dear friend of mine. You kids can go play, we can try again later.” A few groaned happily as Rey stood brushing herself off. Voe frowned at her as she curiously looked over to the ship, the lady that came from it and Luke. 

“Nosey Nock!” Voe taunted, Rey ignored her. Instead of ‘playing’ which Rey still didn’t understand she went to the kitchens. Luke had a lot of snacks out for everyone to have at any time they wanted it and Rey took a few before heading to her small bunk. They were all in a bunk-house, Rey hid one of the non-perishable until unwrapped food under her bed mat. Taking the rest with her as she explored some of the temple. Things had been busy as Luke tried to teach them. 

“It's coming along nicely.” she heard a lady said as she made a small laugh. “Though why this place? It was abandoned before even Yoda was born.” 

“It just seemed like a good location.” Luke replied as Rey peeked out from the cubby she hid in. Up higher than head level Rey had several things here. She would until it was discovered and she was forced to move. A small doll was placed there, she had to remake it as Tekka had yet to send her her few things. Like he promised her when he left her with Luke. “So what do you think?” 

“I think it needs about half a dozen shielding units.” the lady Rubbed her arms and Luke smiled at her. “This place isn’t exactly Tatotine. I don’t know how you can stand it.” 

“Weren’t the ships placed under this temp?” she laughed hugging him and kissing his cheek. 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it.” she made a gesture out. “Well, it looks fine, you are trying to match the style?” 

“Yes, just in case there was a reason for it.” 

“I doubt it. Sometimes things just look pretty to be that. Pretty.” Rey watched the exchange growing bored of it as she leaned back into her cubby as the two adults chatted. Beating around the bush of things making comments that on Jakku would be obtuse. Rey shrugged to her doll. 

‘What do you think Kira?’ she mouthed silently. Rey bounced the doll like it replied. Though it didn’t and could not. ‘Yeah, adults are boring and dumb.’ Rey frowned, and hugged it close, huddling into herself. 

“He calls himself Snoke.” the lady said as Rey sniffed quietly. You don’t come from Jakku and Unkar Plutt by being a loud crier. “I don’t know much, you know how a lot of these people are. Worse than a bunch of stinging insects.” 

“Keep trying, we need to know as much as we can.” Luke answered. 

“The kids though?” she asked. “They are well?” 

“Yes, they are kids though. One of them is almost feral. I don’t know how Tekka found her.” Rey perked her head up staring down at them. 

“Feral? Like how?” Rey hated gossip and wanted to shout at them, but they were moving on and she ignored them. She picked up the doll again. 

“Do you think I’m feral?” she asked. Bobbing it up and down again. “That’s not nice Kira.” she told it. “I… I just don’t like people.” a lot of people meant a lot more trouble. It meant probably a fight and maybe more than one death. Rey sighed and put the doll back into its nook. She always seemed to find places that would net her these tidbits. Getting out Rey saw the two kissing and gagged before she left quickly. 

“EW EW EW.” she repeated. Most of the others were playing a game of tag. Rey shook her head and went back to lifting rocks with the force. It was work, and she wasn’t going to play. Voe found her there first being the ‘tagger’ and scowled at Rey before heading back to play. Maybe Luke wouldn’t find her so feral if she ignored the other kids instead of anything else. 

“This is Rey?” the lady asked startling Rey enough for her to leap away, dropping all the rocks as she rolled around to face the two ready to fight. “Oh, sorry.” 

“See?” Luke said. “Rey, you are safe here.” Luke told her again. “You don’t need to act like this.” Rey stood and put her head down. 

“Yes Luke, I’m sorry, you just snuck up on me.” she answered. 

“Well, where did you come from?” Rey gave the lady a weird look. “Luke wants me to see what I can do to help you kid.” she smiled at Rey. 

“I don’t even know who you are.” Luke put his hand to his face as she laughed. 

“Mara Jade.” Rey nodded to her. “So why did you act like you did?” Luke made a noise as Rey thought. “There is no harm in asking her. She is obviously more adult than you think.” 

“On… On Jakku people sneak up on others they want to hurt badly.” Rey explained. “Someone tried to do that to Unkar and he hurt them… he didn’t hurt them…” Rey looked down. “He killed them.” The two adults went quiet. “Tekka was different, I know… but… it felt like I was hurt when that happened.” 

“Oh sweetie.” Mara bent down kneeling by Rey. “I understand that completely. But like Luke says you don’t have to worry about being hurt here.” Rey wanted to believe her she really did. “So you fight for the same reason?” Rey shifted not looking at the lady. “Do the other kids not like you?” 

“I think so. But… I have to protect myself… they could hurt me, or take my food. Unkar did that a lot.” Mara nodded as Rey glanced up at her. Luke had left at some point, Rey heard some distant shouting. But she didn’t need to be there to know that it might be some fellow kids arguing. 

“I understand. I grew up in a place like that too. Believe me, you’d have to kill before you even knew what death really was. But here Rey.” She held her hand up as Rey looked at her earnest face. “Here you are safe okay?” 

“I’ll try.” Mara laughed and stood not touching Rey. “But… they won’t take my food?” 

“No. They won’t.” 

“Can I still eat their food?” Mara laughed. 

“Do you steal it?” Rey shook her head. “Leftovers are fine then.” Rey grinned to the lady, liking her more. “Now where did that man go?” she huffed and had a strange wistful smile on her face. “I’ll see you later Rey. I don’t know how often I can come by. Some of us are trying to prevent another war while others babysit.” 

“Okay?” She watched her go and bit her lip. Mara was certainly strange, but Rey shrugged and tried to go back to ignoring the other kids despite them running roughshod all around her. Knocking down the rocks, and knocking into her. Rey knew it was on purpose as Voe laughed when one of the others grabbed a floating stone and chucked it far away. She could make them stop, but Luke didn’t like her behaving violently. So instead she wanted to prove to at least Mara she wasn’t some feral creature. Like she said, Rey was more adult so she better act like adults like Luke. 

The next day one of the droids had found her nook however, and Luke frowned over it. “I thought you were doing better.” he told her as she frowned looking to the ground. “Rey, you don’t need to hide.” He held out the small doll but she didn’t touch it. “This is yours right?” she swallowed. “Take it.” 

“I only made it cause Tekka never gave me my things.” she told him and look at his knees not wanting to look up at his face. “I want  _ my _ doll.” Luke sighed. 

“I don’t think he would have kept it Rey.” Luke admitted to her, she snapped her eyes up to his face. “It’s not that he wouldn’t have!” he told her quickly. “But I can message him and see.” He held the doll out to her again. 

“What’s her name?” Mara asked and Rey jerked her head to her. She smiled to Rey and went down on her knees in front of Rey not touching her or trying to. 

“Kira.” Rey told her. 

“So,” Mara took the doll from Luke and he backed away as she smiled down at the doll. “Its nice to meet you Kira. My name is Mara.” Rey smiled at Mara. Mara held out the doll to Rey and she took it, holding it close to her. 

“...Kira likes you.” Rey told her as Mara smiled brightly. 

“Thank you Kira.” Mara didn’t move just yet holding out her hand to Rey allowing Rey to touch her instead of it being something forced on her. “Thank you too Rey. I hope to be able to come by and talk to you more okay?” 

“I think I’d like that Ma’am.” Rey told her and nodded. Rey paused a moment and then looked upwards quickly, a moment later there was a muffled roar as a ship sheered through hyperspace. 

“Who-” Rey began but Luke held up his hand and the ship stalled in the air. Rey quailed as the other small kids emerged from the small training area they had been in. Luke twisted the ship in air, pointing back into the sky. The people inside must have gotten the picture, they left just as fast as they entered the space. “Luke?” Rey asked quietly. Luke sighed. 

“You are right about those shields.” Luke told Mara as she looked nervous and sad. 

“I’ll be sure to get them right out to you fast.” She reached out and touched Luke’s shoulder. Rey gagged, and walked away as Mara made a small chuckle. The odd occurrence of the ship was remarked on, but it wasn’t the strangest things. Some people came and stopped for awhile before Luke seemed to chase them off. Eerie things now that the ‘school’ was more established. Soon they’d have a lot more people, Rey thought sadly. She had enough with just the few that were here already. 

“Rey, you still play with dolls?” Voe questioned loudly. Voe laughed, but the others shifted uncomfortably. 

“I can do what I want to do.” Rey told Voe who opened and closed her mouth. Rey looked down to the doll, not knowing exactly why she felt like she really wanted it. The other one had been made by her mom, this one was so bad it was only roughly human. Voe left Rey to herself as she settled on her bunk looking at the small doll. 

_ ‘You know they hate you.’ _ Kira told her. It really wasn’t a female voice.  _ ‘Hate who you are.’ _ she frowned at the doll. It didn’t always speak to her but when she was feeling particularly dour it did. It was an old male voice.  _ ‘You can do so much more than them.’ _

“What if I don’t want to.” she asked quietly. There was a sense of disappointment Rey bit her lip waiting. “I want to be strong.” 

_ ‘The only way for-’  _ Rey looked up blinking. No one was around just yet but she eyed Luke as he saw Mara off. _ ‘Are you listening?’  _

“No. I don’t have to listen to you.” there was a flash of anger, and it did hurt her head a little. But it was gone leaving her alone. “I don’t think I want to talk to you anymore though either.” she told it. Just a scant few hours after Kira was safely inside of an incinerator Rey walked up to Luke and tugged on his sleeve. He looked shocked that she had actually reached out to him. 

“Luke? Sometimes I hear the other kids when they aren’t… talking. But thinking hard…. Do you know what I can do to stop that?” Luke smiled down at her seeming grateful she was actually doing anything that involved him. Involved her actually seeking him out for help, not that she wanted to. She wanted to go back to Jakku and Tekka in a way, she never had to worry about weird people and voices trying to tell her things there. 


	4. Loneliness is killing her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is abandoned on a watery world by Luke.

She shivered as the ship escaped out of hyperspace. The lonely little world looked quiet and distant even from the screen. One of the sole planets around a star it was nearly all water. Luke navigated towards the planet easily as she waited looking from the crew quarters as he moved towards the planet. With a few bumps they entered the planet's pull and he traveled the surface looking for a place to land. 

  


Rey frowned, feeling a strange sort of mix of things from her senses. One of the foremost feelings was an increasing sense of peace. It was almost like a real voice chanting ‘all will be well’ in her ears. In a way it dulled her senses, not the foresenstive ones but it was almost like it soothed her human senses away. Luke pushed past her and smiled as they exited the ship, several things were on the ship, most of them were the various sith related things that Luke had gathered in his search for artefacts. 

  


“Grab one of the boxes and follow.” She nodded and picked up a box following Luke. She ogled at a few of the natives, and they ogled at her in turn. Luke ignored them heading to a large half built, half cave like temple. Only the entrance was well built and what little work had been done inside was somewhat decorative. Luke guided her to set the box down in the middle and sighed as he looked over the room. 

  


“The caretakers will take these to the bottom of the ocean.” he told her and smiled. “They should rot.” she only nodded. “Let's get the rest.” she nodded frowning. 

  


“Why do you need me?” she asked Luke once back at the ship. He paused. 

  


“Because there is something you should see here. I think it will help you.” she scowled but obeyed. Thinking that she wasn’t having any trouble at all. Maybe it was the play fighting? Rey didn’t play, and fighting was about disabling your opponent before they disabled you. The final box was just full of holocrons. Tiny little whispers came out from them, dark things, like they were trying to talk about secrets. 

  


“Now follow.” he smiled at her as they walked across the island. She spied a large humanoid whale-like creature lounging on a rocky outcrop above the waterline. He took her on a path around the island, it had only low vegetation and small little creatures that were wholly unafraid of humans. 

  


“What are these things?” Rey ventured stopping to almost touch one, Luke cleared his throat and she stopped following him. She felt like she was in trouble, although she hadn’t really hurt anyone. No broken bones, only bruises. He led her down a zig-zag path down to a beach with coarse ashy colored sand. Rey stared at a broken and withered tree in a nook along this beach. Parts of it were twisted around and it didn’t look alive. 

  


But large branches stood out with gray-green leaves and flourishing purple blossoms. Rey thought she might spy little buds that might have fruit, but wasn’t sure as Luke guided her into the tree itself. This place wasn’t carved, it looked like it was trained to grow in this manner through generations. A small shelf stood out with real books on it, a small seating area that was made for someone maybe twice as large as a human being. Just like the entire place, fitting Luke and her easily. “Sit.” 

  


Rey felt a sense of foreboding fear but did what he wanted. Folding her legs in a meditative pose, he grabbed one of the books from the shelf and placed it in her lap and she jerked her hands up, staring down at the book. It was more than ancient. It felt like it existed ever since there was life in the world. Which was mind boggling as she kept her hands up staring down at the book. “I want you to look and see if you can feel anything, see anything.” Luke told her. 

  


“Why?” her voice was quiet. 

  


“Because, I think you need this.” Luke told her she hesitated as she put her hands on the book. It didn’t happen right away, it was more like a slow pull as her mind was dragged under. Like she was drowning. 

  


_ She was in the temple, a soft light glowed from a basket near a tall creature. She could only see that it was roughly humanoid although it stalled bent over a large wooden desk and chair. It was twice the size of Chewie, and it paused in the writing it was doing. The writing tool was a bone as it turned and stared at her. The creature held no eyes that she could detect. Just two orbs inside its head that seemed to glow. One dark, the other more yellowish. Like one ‘eye’ was blind. Long ears stood up on its head, and its skin was a yellow sort of color that was so transparent she could see the skeleton structure and thick veins.  _

  


_ There appeared to be no muscle, but it stood and stared down at her. “A new one?” it questioned. It held no mouth, but spoke all the same. Its voice shaking inside of Rey. “Youngling.” it mumbled and looked away to the side. “The other sent you here. Out of sequence, you were here first.” it put a three fingered hand to its head in thought. Stroking one ear as she quailed.  _

  


_ “Who… what are you?” she asked. It stalled and looked away, she knew it was night where he was. The light seemed to come from some kind of basket full of small orbs. Glowing with a chemical reaction, rather than anything electric. _

  


_ “One of the first.” she gaped to it. “Placing myself into these things, knowledge, strength. Knowing.” it leered down and she shook. “Equality.” it reached down and tapped the top of her head making her flinch. “You were here before, but here first.”  _

  


_ “I don’t understand.” she said and rubbed the top of her head.  _

  


_ “Balance youngling. Just remember the balance. To tip the scale in either way will cause chaos and pain. It will hurt so many. That is our purpose. All purpose of those with the gift. To do aught else… is not the truth.” he gestured vaguely and Rey’s ears popped.  _

  


Rey blinked and shivered it was like a bubble had popped around her head, like coming up from deep water. Luke’s cloak was put around her shoulders and she knew time had passed. Maybe too much time. Luke wasn’t in the tree anymore, and every part of Rey was numb. Slowly with fumbling fingers she flexed her hands and set the book down near her giving it a wide berth though touching it again didn’t bring any other vision. 

  


Slowly on shaky legs she emerged and blinked at the light outside. It felt like days had passed, although it could have only been minutes or even an hour. Rey frowned, she didn’t have a time keeping device on her. It was practically useless unless she traveled a lot. 

  


Looking out on the island she frowned, the ship was gone. An uncomfortable and very old fear raced into her chest. Rey raced to the temple and looked around, there was one of the fish-people there gaping at her as she swept. But no Luke. Frantically she reached out, trying to feel out in the force for him, maybe he just got bored and flew around the planet. But he wasn’t on this world. She looked up as she walked out slowly, her awareness expanding out, trying to find Luke. 

  


Rey drew back before she got far, that same old fear connected into this. “Luke?” she questioned quietly. 

  


“He had to leave.” Rey jerked towards one of the ladies, she didn’t speak standard. But she did speak Mon-Calmari. “We are to take care of you until he comes back.” Rey shuddered her eyes going wide as she tried to swallow down a choking feeling. “Come on, you must be hungry.” 

  


Rey followed the lady to a small stone hut. Luke at least left several rations for her. “Stay here.” she commanded and Rey sniffed again shuffling into the small hut feeling a fresh feeling of abandonment. A few tears slid out of her eyes as she angrily swiped them away. Luke abandoned her, and she wasn’t even sure if he would ever come back. Rey was abandoned here, and there weren't the familiar metallic cliffs of Jakku around her. The familiar dry heat, no. Here it was barely above chill for a human being. 

  


In the dark Rey stared up at the sky looking for the long light trail that would indicate a nearby hyperspace lane. There was nothing but the ancient stars around her. Rey shivered, pulling at the roughly sewn cloak around her shoulders. It was from the ladies, she sniffed and tilted her head as she heard a shrill whistle. She followed it and tried to smile towards the one ‘assigned’ to her as she handed Rey a large shell full of soup.

  


“Thank you.” Rey told her and bowed her head. 

  


“Tomorrow will come.” the lady said and Rey swallowed. She didn’t feel like eating, but she did anyway. The next day she stared up at the sky waiting, hoping to see some kind of long bright streak. Something that would indicate she was near anything at all. Nothing. Rey didn’t know these stars, she had no stellar compass on her and making one was beyond her. Two days later brought Rey back to the tree staring at the books. She carefully poked the first book, but it didn’t do anything. She put the book back onto the shelf giving the others a wide berth before she went back. Hearing the shrill whistle. 

  


“Coming!” Rey whistled a tone, as close as she could come to the clicks and whistles of their natural tongue. Mon-Calmari was similar, and she wondered if there were that many of them as Jedi’s. Rey smiled towards her caretaker. 

  


“Tonight men come. We feast.” She told Rey and Rey nodded. “We prepare.” 

  


“Yes ma’am.” Rey’s fingers were more adept than theirs as she wove long strands of sea grass of some kind around poles. Holding up banners, small tent structures, and more. All the poles must be some kind of sea plant, as the ladies came out of the water with them, leaving the coverings they usually wore out of the water to quickly get the entire beach set up with a small party area. Rey had been salivating at the thought of the soup tonight. She had seen a lot of fish and at least two of the bird creatures, porgs she called them, went into it. 

  


Meat was something that would always win her over. Rey pulled at a long rope full of various vibrant banners made of ‘leatherized’ fish skin, climbing up on the rocks she tied the end to heavy rock and clambered down. “Good, we wait.” Rey smiled and settled with the other ladies. Rey held the end of a long string as one of them used it to craft a broom of dried sea-plants. 

Rey wished to have the ability to breathe water, she would be so much more help that way. The ladies slept in the water, she slept up on the top and they were always worried about the storms that came through. She had not seen one just yet, but with this much water Rey’s only concern was drowning. She didn’t think the island would stay afloat in the storm. 

  


‘Here.’ She perked up, and looked out on the island. She had felt like there was something here she was missing, but it was hard to pin down and she didn’t want to reach out far again. When she did that the nightmares came. So she stayed waiting, using her small fingers to tie a good knot on the broom. 

  


“Thank you.” the older lady said. Rey whistled a ‘your welcome’ making the older one smile. “Learn fast youngling.” Rey beamed at the complement. The large ships were made of the same wood as the pole Rey noted first. The sails were made from large supple fish skins. With oceans this big there must be huge fish, like Naboo deep titans. The men unlike the ladies were dressed in black, Rey followed their bows and curious stares. 

  


Bringing back large sheets of various fish skins, seemed to be their main job. Though they also brought in skeins of the strange sea-based yarn and threads. The least job was what they ladies seemed to be the most excited over, tiny pots of various dyes. Rey was curious but the stares she got when she tried to look at them made her stay back. Sure they wouldn’t let they wouldn’t let her even try to touch them. 

  


A week later, Rey sported her own white outfit, the other was getting worn from the constant use. Luke hadn’t come back, Rey still went outside and stared into the sky. Two weeks later she found out how they made the fish skin into supple fabric. Four weeks she was allowed to see the dye pots, not to touch them of course, but to see them. 

  


Five weeks in Rey weathered her first storm, part of her home collapsed so she took to sleeping in the temple. The ladies found this a much better situation, although the large space leached more heat away from her, the more skins and fabric Rey had the better she kept warm. In the meantime she rubbed the skin of a fish with what seemed like a hard puck of pure fat. It tasted like fat, and she wondered if it came from the large humanoid whales. They were blubberous creatures so it could very well be. 

  


Rey looked up at the sky waiting, feeling sick. A month, by the reckoning of the ladies had passed. Rey tried to calculate the time by standard. The planet's rotation around the star was a slow one, the day’s maybe a bit longer than most of the planets she had been to. Rey’s mind faltered as she counted out six months. Half a year. Half a year abandoned here. She pulled the yellow skin around her, yellow stood out against all the dull colors around her. It was the last night she looked up at the stars. 

  


Rey ducked into the tree and picked out one of the books she hadn’t touched before, having familiarized herself with each of the other ones. “I’m ready I think.” she told the Balance. “If I fail does that mean I’m wrong?” The Balance shook his head. 

  


“No youngling. It just means you must try again.” she smiled at it. “Keep the balance.” She shut the book, and put it back on the shelf, the words in the books were elusive but she was beginning to learn them too. With another shiver Rey walked around the outside of the island, and into a thin well smoothed crack. The sea here had its tides based on the sun it orbited, leaving the sun set and night as the time she could come here. 

  


Rey had been here a few times before but not with a purpose. The entire wall of part of this cave was a crazed crystal glass. Full of dark and smokey crystal Rey thought it was made by the force from the way it felt. A natural sea blowhole sat above her letting in starlight as she reached up and touched the glass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize but we'll learn later why Luke did it.


	5. A hero will save you in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han comes and picks Rey up.

Rey blinked at the unfamiliar noise, the ladies made a lot of noise about ‘finally’ as she looked up and noticed a ship. Rey bent back down to her work. She was drafting yarn on an old spindle, the larger ones she was going to be trained on as soon as she could keep the draft on this one. “Hey hey I don’t speak that.” she heard and ignored. She had stopped licking her lips, using a bit of the blubber to keep her lips from cracking. Tapping the salty and gross stuff onto her lips despite still gagging over it. “Rey?” She finally turned, taking the spindle into her hands as she blinked up at Han. 

A strange bubble of emotion burst into her, and she flung herself at him sobbing. “Hey hey hey, it's okay.” He told her and rubbed her back. 

“HE LEFT ME!” She screamed into his legs. Forgetting standard for the first word making the rest choked. “He left me!” Han picked her up. 

“Yeah, I can’t stay long.” Han said not to her. “Holy Luck kiddo.” Han put her onto the ramp of the falcon. “Need anything?” Rey thought with a frown. 

“No… all I have I earned.” she told him and Han grimaced. 

“Then let's go.” Han ducked into the ship, motioning her in as Rey felt a blissful blank joy enter her. She was still crying as Han went to the cockpit mumbling something in a language she didn’t actually know. Once the ship was safely into hyperspace he came back out a fake smile on his face as he got her to the mess.

“How long has it been since you bathed?” he tried to joke. Rey stared at him with wide eyes. “That long huh?” Han sighed and motioned her into the fresher. “Take your time then, you can use the water settings.” Rey dived into the fresher, and peeled off all her clothes, letting the water wash away the stink and time she had spent on the planet. It didn’t help her clothes. But it helped her personally. 

When she came out a set of clothes around her rough size was waiting for her, making her smile and almost faint in relief. The other clothes she had on were nowhere to be found at the moment and she wasn’t sure that she wanted them. Han frowned into a communicator. “Well you tell him the next time he forgets a CHILD somewhere that he better answer to the authorities. This isn’t right.” He shut the thing off with a hiss of anger. 

“Sorry kiddo. Luke just dropped this on me.” Rey looked down with the mention of Luke. 

“Where is he?” she asked him. Han sighed as he put his hands to face. 

“Back at that school. He has been for months. Said he was too busy to get you.” Rey sniffed. “Are… you okay?” She rushed to Han’s side and hugged him sobbing into him. He patted her back as she didn’t stop crying. “If he told me right off the grid Kid, I would have come.” Rey believed him, she wiped her nose on his shirt before she pulled away from him. 

Chewie handed her a hot drink as she was finally around familiar faces. “Is Ben okay?” she asked him. Han chuckled. 

“Of course, he’s a bit like you.” Rey smiled brightly. “Want to ditch Luke to go home?” 

“You need to ask?” she questioned back. The two men laughed, as she sipped at the bitter tasting drink. 

“Chewie did you give her caf?” Chewie shrugged. “Luck help us.” She smiled unsure of his meaning, but it was completely a different thing than the soups and distilled water that she had been having for however long she had spent on the planet. Rey had stopped counting the days the day she stopped looking up at the sky. 


	6. Numb joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes back home with Han and spends time with Ben. Finding out she is willing to break any rule for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey loves Ben more than anything in her life.

“Han, I understand but it wasn’t…” Leia paused as Rey looked up at her. “Alright.” Han smiled. “I know. I know it was bad. But it's Luke. He wouldn’t have just left her.” Leia said and Han snorted, shaking his head. 

“REY!” Ben landed right into her legs and she hugged him. “Come on!” he grabbed her hand and dragged her away from the two. 

“How are you Ben?” Rey asked and he smiled as he dragged her to his bedroom. It was a lot different then the baby creche she remembered. He was older now, and thus really didn’t need a nanny-droid anymore. For the most part. 

“I’m good! Where have you been?” he looked around his room as if wondering what to show her at the moment. 

“Away….” she said and sighed. Ben looked at her. “I’m sure it’s pretty boring.” Rey put a smile on her face for Ben. 

“I want to know.” The smile turned genuine.

“Alright, but is there something you wanted to show me first?” he brightened and raced to a small desk, grabbing and almost knocking over several things. Rey was presented an old style parchment with her name decoratively written on it. “You wrote this?” she asked him. 

“Yes!” He straightened up. 

“Ben this is amazing! I don’t know anyone that can actually write like this!” He preened as she carefully touched the parchment. Everyone was digital, they could write on datapads. But doing old calligraphy is another matter entirely. 

“Do you like it?” he asked carefully. She reached out to him and hugged him. 

“I love it!” Ben settled down into a small chair staring up at her happily. “I guess Leia and Han grew tired of this?” she asked and he rolled his eyes. “Alright.” Rey carefully folded the paper sliding it into her overlarge outfit. “So I went with Luke to drop off… bad things.”

“What kind of things?” he asked quickly and covered his mouth. 

“Artefacts from bad people. Um… the sith.” Ben blinked at her taking his hands down. “They can be dangerous. Usually it's just bad information that people can use to hurt others.” Ben smiled as she explained. “Luke takes them to this planet and this time he took me with him.” 

“Why?” Rey frowned thinking. 

“He said there was something I needed to see.” she sighed. “It was these books and they are like holocrons in a way.” 

“Holocrons?” 

“Uh… old ai’s from the jedi. That is what some of the artefacts were that we took, but they were bad ones.” Ben nodded. 

“There was this old alien in them, I called it the Balance. But… after Luke put the book in my lap he left me.” Ben gaped, shaking his head. 

“He’s Luke! He wouldn’t!” 

“But he did… I guess I’ll ask why eventually. But I spent a long time on that planet. There were these big fish people there. Sort of like the Mon-Calamari,” Rey smiled. ‘To a good clutch of eggs shiny and dense’ she told Ben as he blinked at her. 

“Was it bad?” he asked her. Rey shrugged. 

“I certainly didn’t enjoy it.” she sighed. “I stank to high heaven as all water had to be used for drinking or making food. Soup mostly. A lot of fish.” he stuck his tongue out. 

“Eww, I hate fish.” Rey chuckled and he smiled brightly. 

“Me too. I looked forward to this weekly party thing they would have. The males made these ships out of sea-plants from deep in the ocean and would bring in… trade goods?” Rey thought about it. “Well, gifts maybe.” he touched her chin in thought. “I never saw a child so maybe the fish-ladies were something like aesthetics of some kind.” 

“Can you draw them?” Rey shrugged. “I can’t draw.” he admitted softly. 

“You don’t have to.” Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her towards his desk guiding her to sit. He dropped a small set of pencils in front of her and paper. “Oh Ben, these things are too expensive for me to use just for something dumb.” 

“But I want you to use them!” he asserted standing by her as he fidgeted. “Please?” 

“Alright, lets see.” She closed her eyes and picked one pencil and paper. Rey started sketching and Ben remained silent as she drafted a small sketch of one of the main fish-ladies she was being taken care of. Rey never really learned their names, maybe they didn’t even need them in their world. Ben gaped at it, and she just stared at the sketch. 

“Rey this is so cool!” he grinned at her, Rey didn’t think much of it. She tried to be realistic, though she might have embellished the eyes a bit. “I can’t draw like this!” She rubbed the back of her head and perked up at the sound of a communicator. Loud and clanging, Ben deflated with the sound. 

“What is it?” she asked him. 

“That means they’ll leave.” he told her. Rey glanced out, it took a few minutes as Ben sulked. Leia came in and smiled towards Rey. 

“Rey, can you watch Ben? There’s an emergency meeting for the senate.” Rey nodded, looking at Ben. “Thank you, I have to leave now.” 

“Han?” she asked. 

“He’s coming with! Ask the droids if you need anything!” Leia called loudly leaving. Rey sighed and smiled towards Ben. 

“I guess this happens a lot?” he nodded to her. 

“Almost every other day.” he told her. 

“Well… what do you want to do?” He perked up. 

“Teach me to draw!” Rey flushed. 

“But I can’t draw!” she asserted. Ben huffed at her. “I don’t know how I’m good.” she mollified. Rey thought for a moment. “Have you been training with the force?” Ben’s grimace said a lot. 

“Not much. My mom is trying… I don’t like it that much.” 

“What can you do?” He smiled shyly and she felt him roughly ‘scan’ her. Anyone who was a bit sensitive, or known in the way it felt would know. “Oh…” 

“Mom can do it without anyone knowing.” 

“Can you call things?” He shook his head. “How about I teach you to do that instead?” 

“You can do that?” Rey grinned and showed off, levitating all the pens and paper. His face brightened as he watched and rushed to her side waving his hands around them. “How?” 

“Well.” She took one of the ink pots and let the other things drop softly. She put the pot in his hands and thought. “What you do is reach out and… kind of say ‘I can do this so let me’.” Ben scowled at her as she shrugged. “You’re not supposed to say ‘I will do this’, I think. This is what Balance told me.” 

“Just I can do this?” he asked. 

“Sort of. I can do this, so let me do this.” Rey answered. “It's like asking it to help you with what you want to do.” Ben frowned concentrating on the pot. It lifted off his hands as he grinned with it. “See?” 

“You’re not helping?” he asked her and she shook her head. 

“Nope!” He grinned and mentally spun it around in his hands. “See?” 

“Teach me more!” He caught the pot as it fell. Rey giggled and nodded. 

“As much as I can.” It was a few hours later Rey frowned as she felt something like a chill in the room. The door to his room slid open as if by its own and she stared at something that seemed to be there. She couldn’t see it, but she knew there was something there. Currently Ben was asleep with his head resting on her lap, they had been watching some movie he liked. 

A small shiver, Ben raised his head and they were wide as he looked up. Whoever it was de-cloaked and raised it hand towards Ben. Rey raised her hand and the assassin froze. He was straining as she moved her hand up lifting him off the ground. “You.” she growled standing up. “Don't. Hurt. Him.” he raised his hands scrambling at his throat before she punched her fist out and created a large hole into the side of the room to the outside. Immediately alarms sounded. Rey pushed him outside letting the force go the moment he left the perimeter of the hole. Several guardian drones rushed after him, and several fired, killing him before he hit the ground far below. 

Ben grabbed her hugging her as she stared at the hole. Rey shivered and pressed a smile to her face. “Are you okay?” Ben nodded. “We need to get to the safe room okay? I don’t think there are more, but there could be.” He swallowed, but took her hand leading her to a well hidden safe room. 

“You killed him.” Ben said as she peeked out at the monitors within. Several drones were scanning everything, one of them made sure to connect with the outside of the safe room, and they were quickly scanned. “Rey?” she grimaced. 

“I know. He was going to hurt you.” she swallowed. “I won’t hurt you Ben.” he hugged her and she smiled.    
  


“I know.” He sniffed. “But…” She bent down and put her hands on his shoulders. “You didn’t want to.” 

“Ben?” he looked up at her. “I’d burn down this galaxy to protect you.” a small smile took his face. “No matter what. You are the most important thing in my life.” she looked to the ground. “I’d kill a billion lives for you.” She hated herself for the thought. It shouldn’t be true but it was. She could wonder what it meant, but would rather not think of it. “Trillions if I must. Just so you could be safe.” he opened and closed his mouth staying quiet for a long while. 

“Can… Can I tell you a secret?” she nodded. “We are gonna be here forever.” Rey laughed but despite the wry sort of smile on his face she felt that wasn’t what the ‘secret’ was. 

“How about I tell you one too?” he looked up at her. The safe room was sparse, no real entertainment unless you could count watching drones fly around and droids rushing out to try to fix the hole Rey made in the wall. She briefly wondered if she could do that again, she hadn’t even thought about what she had done until now. There were three small beds, a small set of seats, and a chest full of rations. One little corner was a fresher, but without any shielding and only enough to take care of bodily needs. 

“Alright, I don’t think you’d remember this you were just a baby…” Rey began and smiled as Ben settled into a seat. “But I stole my way into where you and your family was.” he chuckled. “They are really nice to me despite not knowing me at all, Leia had to speak to this guy. So she put you in my lap.” Rey put her hand to her chin smiling. “I was so scared that I would hurt you. But I had a vision when I stared down at you. It was the first thing of the force I’d ever felt.” She closed her eyes remembering it. “I’ve never told Luke about it, but I saw you presiding over a group of people, and I knew that with those four gone. Peace would come to the galaxy. Forever.” 

“I… made peace?” he asked and she smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah I believe so. I think maybe that is one reason why I care about you so much.” she reached out and ruffled the top of his head. “Only one. There are seventy million, eight hundred, and forty seven… thousand and….” she paused. “Two hundred and eighty two other reasons.” Ben laughed grinning. 

“Only that many?” 

“I’m sure I can come up with more reasons!” she told him brightly. “I guess though, we have nothing to do really.” Ben swallowed looking away distantly. 

“My… umm.. Secret.” she nodded. “I talk with someone.” she blinked. “His name is Snoke, and he is mostly nice.” he rubbed the back of his head. “Most of the time he just wants to know how I’m doing. He helps me to know who people are… and helps with the… force… stuff.” Rey thought for a moment, the name sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Probably adults talking around her thinking she didn’t listen. Honestly she didn’t, and didn’t much care what a lot of them talked about. “He doesn’t like you that much.” he added. 

“Is he nice?” Ben shrugged. “Because if he is mean to you I will track him down and kick him in the shins at least.” he giggled. “I did that to Luke when he wasn’t nice to me. He scared me so badly once.” 

“Mostly, sometimes… he scares me is all.” Rey smiled. 

“Things can be scary, hmm….” she thought. “Maybe… I don’t know. But I learned this from Luke.” she folded her legs onto a chair. Ben copied her quickly making her smile. “When you want to just think of a door…. Or maybe rather a bunch of holes.” Ben looked at her confused. “Whatever, you can shut him out if you want to. You just need some kind of barrier. The holes are there so you can let some people through.” She tapped the side of her head. 

“Like what?” 

_ ‘Like this.’  _ Rey spoke into his mind and he gaped at her pupils nearly taking out the color in them. 

“Oh.” 

“Yes, that feeling of people within the force? You can choose to allow anyone of them into your head. Luke told me never to let anyone do it unless I trust them utterly.” 

“So you… trust Luke?” Ben asked carefully. Rey frowned. 

“I trust he is a nice person… but I don’t know if I trust him personally anymore.” Ben nodded to her. “But if you know what another person feels like, like when you scan them? You can choose to let that person in your head or not.” 

“So like putting poly-blocks into the correctly shaped holes?” 

“The toddler’s game?” he nodded. “Yes.” He frowned, closing his eyes in concentration. In a long moment of silence he gave a small shudder in relief. “You okay?” 

“I think so.” he shifted a little. “Snoke was just telling me… that… you don’t trust me.” 

“I do, you just have to try and you’ll know.” he blinked up to her and she tapped her forehead with one finger. “Any time you want Ben.” 

“I… I can’t. I really don’t know how.” she snorted. 

“Just think of me and think of something.” she told him as he scowled at her. “Trust me.” he closed his eyes again concentrating. 

_ ‘Can we play spin the bottle?’ _ she froze as she heard his voice. 

“WHO, wait… there are bottles in this place?” Rey said Ben blushed and put both his hands to his face. 

“I AM SO SORRY!” he yelled out from them. “Dad… he…” Ben looked completely embarrassed as Rey scanned the room. Of course Han would hide some kind of rare booze bottle in this place. “Dad said that is how he and mom got married.” Ben said finally. 

“Is that how adults get married?” Rey asked. Marriage from what she remembered from Jakku was more or less ‘whoever put the baby in you is husband’. Or vice versa. ‘Whoever you want to put a baby in you’ or something. Rey thought, and shrugged. “How about I try to teach you a few more Jedi tricks instead?” 

“Please.” Ben’s ear tips were red as he finally dropped his hands. Rey gave a small laugh. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It's okay Ben.” He shifted. 

“Please don’t tell anyone my secret.” 

“I’d like to ask you the same thing.” He looked up at her and nodded slowly. “I don’t think Luke would understand it personally. But, if this Snoke does hurt you? Tell me. That’s all I ask.” he nodded to her and smiled. 

“You’d hurt him?” 

“It would take an army to stop me.” he sniffed. 

“But, what if you don’t trust me anymore?” Rey scoffed. 

“Ben it would take so much for me not to trust you.” 

“Like what?”

“Oh, you destroying a planet or ten. Give or take a thousand.” Ben snorted and laughed at the absurd thought. She laughed too, and stretched her arms and back. Sure that it would be hours before they were ever ‘allowed’ to get out of the safe room. This place could be pulled out and docked into a ship, it was its own modified ship. It could survive a drop from here to the surface of the planet even. All without harm to them. 

“Well, what do you want to learn next?” she asked him. “I don’t know a lot, but I’ll help you learn what I do know.” he grinned at her as they settled in for the long wait. Rey didn’t know how far Leia and Han went, or if there were ‘trusted’ people in the vicinity to pick them up. So might as well pass the time. 


	7. acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey must accept her place in the world, despite not wanting to

“....Rey….” Rey frowned in the ship, Leia and Han had taken four hours to come back and pick them up. Moving them into a ship where the door was now open and they were able to pass freely between it and the large ship they were on. Rey listened to the muffled voices hearing her name at odd occasions. Both the parents were terrified, and both of them were more than ready to dump Rey off as soon as possible she was sure. Ben wouldn’t have it, holding onto her like she was a log and he was adrift in the sea. 

  


He was finally asleep again, having exhausted himself mostly by her teaching him various small things that could help him. He learned fast and could at least know when people lied, or scan people now without them knowing as quickly. Rey sighed and moved away from the bed slowly and followed the muffled tones. 

  


“... Rey…. da...g… sss… she….” she heard as she touched the door. It hissed open and the two froze looking to her as she entered and settled down. “Rey?” 

  


“I can hear you saying my name. I think I’m old enough to know what you are talking about.” Leia blinked as Han quickly hid a smile. 

  


“Rey…. I… don’t know what to do.” Leia told her as she watched the earnest face of the older woman. Rey could think of her like a mom, and didn’t know how to feel about that. “You killed someone.” She looked down to the metal flooring. “Do you understand what that means?” 

  


“That I killed someone?” Rey questioned out. “Lots of people die.” Leia held up her hands and Rey flinched. 

  


“I won’t hurt you.” Rey looked up at her. “But… this…” Leia sighed. “You are a child Rey. You shouldn’t have to do this.” Leia frowned. 

  


“I’m sure as hell thankful for it.” Han told her Rey blinked to him as Leia scowled. “How did that bastard get in?” Leia lost the scowl. 

  


“He had this weird suit on.” Rey supplied. “It made him invisible. But I felt what he wanted to do.” Leia put a hand to her face. “He wanted to hurt Ben.” Rey wondered if he had been there for her if she would have stopped him. Rey shivered at the thought burying it down before Leia could sense it. 

  


“Obviously.” Leia sighed. “They haven’t stopped at all.” 

  


“Who?” Han shook his head. 

  


“Empire hold-outs. This one must have had hard backing. That man must have been an expensive assassin.” Leia waved her hand out.

  


“Why did you leave?” Leia rubbed her temples. 

  


“To talk about these First Order people that came out recently, Rey. They came out of the unknown regions and revealed themselves. They’re all from the empire.” Han told her and then went blank as he straightened. “Those fucking shit-farmers.” 

  


“HAN!” Leia scolded and looked at Rey. “Children.” 

  


“She’s worse than me!” Rey snorted a few giggles. “He hid on the transport. It was on the final check, he could have waltzed right up. The doors would have taken time to hack even for the best splicers. I made damn sure of that.” Leia grimaced. 

  


“Maybe,” she paused. “They said he didn’t have a lift-pack on his back.” Leia looked back to Rey. “Did you mean to kill him?” Rey flinched. 

  


“I think so. I knew if I threw him out he would have died anyway… but I didn’t want Ben to see him die.” Leia sighed and stood, Rey shook as the older woman knelt in front of her putting her hand on her shoulder. 

  


“I am very thankful for you Rey. You saved his life and your own.” Leia didn’t smile and Rey sniffed. “Thank you.” she said again. “I am sorry you had to do this.” 

  


“I’d do it again.” she said quickly and clamped her hands over her mouth. Han snorted. 

  


“So would I, I’ve killed a few of those types of people too.” Han told her as Leia glanced at him. 

  


“We’ll need to move from that spire then. Maybe even off planet.” Leia said. “That…” Leia stood gently padding Rey’s shoulder. “We won't tell Luke.” 

  


“Why not?” Rey asked. 

  


“He wouldn’t like it, and… well, he doesn’t need to know.” Leia smiled down at Rey. “Can you keep this secret from him?” Rey nodded. “This is going to take awhile to fix.” she rubbed her temples. “So much work… ehhh…” 

  


“I can help!” The two adults smiled at her. “I can!” 

  


“You’ve already helped so much Rey…” Leia did not feel happy. Neither did Han, but his was more of a firm feeling then the little Leia let out. He didn’t like Rey being ‘adult’. She seemed to be that tiny child stealing rolls to him in some weird way. Rey didn’t understand it, though she didn’t really know just how old she was anymore. 

  


“How about you help us with Ben as we move?” Leia questioned, Rey nodded. “He always gets lonely.” Rey bit her bottom lip. 

  


“Can… can’t I stay?” The two looked at each other then her. “I don’t… I don’t want to go back to Luke.” 

  


“Of course you can!” Han told her and got a back hand to his stomach. He let out a breath and looked to Leia. 

  


“Han.” she warned. “Rey…” Rey felt a hard knot in her throat. Leia looked like she was in pain. “We can’t.” She sniffed. “I’d like you to.” 

  


“Then why not?” She looked at Han. “Please?” 

  


“What… what she says goes, Kiddo.” He told her as Leia sighed. 

  


“It's hard enough with Ben and having to… do all of this.” Leia gestured around her. “You are a wonderful kid, but… I can’t bring another person into this mess. You are already… tainted by it.” Rey looked down to the metal floor again. “I’m sorry Rey. You should be a happy little girl. The best way to get that is with Luke.” 

  


“I’m not that little.” Rey mumbled. “I…” she looked up to Leia’s grimace, then back down swallowing down a sob. “I understand.” Leia walked up to her and hugged her, saying more sorrys that Rey didn’t want to hear. 

  


After a short while Rey was back huddling into herself holding back sobs. Part of her felt broken, and full up of an old feeling of sadness so deep she just wanted to shut it out completely. When she had touched that glass on the planet she had to feel it, had to come to terms with it. 

  


_ Deep down Rey didn’t know if she could truly feel joy or happiness. Rey felt the cool glass on her hand looked at a thousand reflected images of herself all spaced out in some kind of stalled time. Maybe she wasn’t meant for joy in the world. “Is it true?” she asked the dark. “Is he… am I really….” she choked, wanting to fall down and do nothing else but cry. The dark wouldn’t really let her, icy tendrils forced her to walk forwards, all the mirrored versions of her disappearing into the darkness. After it was done with her she huddled into herself utterly alone. _

  


Sadness gave way to a pure hard and almost irrational sense of anger. She should be angry, so why be sad about it? Why be so utterly encased in depressive emotion when it was right there and righteous? They all abandoned her, everyone did. Rey wasn’t sad, not truly at the core of her being. She was furious, did not a single soul care about her? From her parents selling her on Jakku, whatever the ‘good’ reasoning be, to Unkar, to Tekka, to Luke, and now to Leia and Han. Did they not love her? 

  


How could anyone love her? With how angry she was. How sad she was that all she could feel was anger at the world. When she got back to Balance, he seemed sad too. Scared at failing, Balance seemed to smile at her.  _ ‘You didn’t fail. You have every right to be angry. To deny it, shifts the balance of your being. Until you accept who you are, you will not find Balance. I can not help you do this. It is what you must do yourself. You know how to.’ _ She was an angry bitter little girl. Rey looked down to the ground. 

  


_ “I’m the emperor's daughter.” _ she told herself then.. It rang true.  _ “I hate… everything…” _ it was not the whole truth. Ben was the only bright spot in her life, and she swallowed. “I will make a better world for him.” she knew in some distant way he was scared, and might just feel as alone in the universe as she did. She’d give all things within herself, even her ‘soul’ up so that he could live in peace. She didn’t want to be a monster, only monsters hated. But, Rey touched Ben’s shoulder not wanting to sleep. Everything. Anything. So Ben didn’t have to go through what she was going through. 

  


Like in her vision, he deserved to live in a world of peace. Someone had to make that. So if she could, she’d do it for him. A tiny monster like her didn’t deserve that peace. The Balance said peace comes by a sword most of the time, no matter how hard one may try to prevent it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that Balance comes from a entirely different time. (also, did you catch a reference?)


	8. Is it really Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is now back with Luke at the academy, Luke tries to mend the broken relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before Luke is trying, he just doesn't know what to do.

Rey didn’t look at Luke as Han dropped her off. In a way it felt like betrayal when Han left her there, taking Luke aside to yell at him. Instead she looked to the various new students, and the older ones. Voe paused as she walked past, blinking to Rey. “Why aren’t you in a class?” Voe asked her. Rey blinked at her. “Oh, you are Rey…” Voe put her hand to her face. 

“Hello master Voe.” Rey answered and Voe shook her head. It didn’t hurt to be polite, even for people she didn’t like. 

“Not a master yet.” Voe told her and looked around. “Well come with me.” Rey nodded and followed Voe. She took Rey towards a sewing droid requesting uniforms as Rey wondered just why Luke had completely forgotten her. Things didn’t seem too different, maybe a lot more kids, but she didn’t hear them, nor see them. Maybe he just wanted to forget she existed. She wanted to do the same at least a little bit. 

“There. Now to the bunks, we’ve got plenty of space.” Rey sniffed, holding back a few tears. Voe frowned at her, but said nothing else leaving Rey with strangers. She held onto her clothes as the few other kids looked at her. They were similar ages, and there were a lot of them. Maybe he was busy, there seemed to be so many more people here now. It took two days for Luke to find her, Rey had gotten a schedule after Voe ‘tested’ her. It seemed pointless to Rey, like they had forgotten she existed. Maybe Voe wanted that. 

The only thing Rey seemed to lack was fighting prowess, the other kids gaped to her. Most struggled to do the most simple of tasks, leaving Rey something of an odd child out. She was more at pace with Voe and the rest of the ‘adults’ who could have spent years hiding themselves from the Empire. Luke stood in front of her having just finished something she was sure, he looked tired and ruffled. 

“Good to see you are fitting in Rey.” She didn’t look up at him standing and waiting. “Rey?” 

“Yes master Luke.” she answered and felt a sense of grief, or maybe something more like confused sadness. 

“I am sorry.” he said, leading. 

“Yes master Luke.” she responded. 

“We got this huge influx of students all in a few days. It was a bit of a scramble…” he made a chuckle. “I knew you could handle yourself out there. Plus the caretakers would take care of you.” 

“Yes master Luke.” Luke put a hand on her shoulder. Rey barely avoided flinching at it. 

“Rey will you at least look at me?” she tilted her head up but gazed just by his shoulder. “Good enough.” he sighed. “I am sorry. I really am.” 

“Yes Master Lu-”

“STOP IT.” he snapped and she shut her mouth. “You were safe there.” he told her. “I knew where you were, I can’t just leave all these students for you and you alone okay? I would have been able to head out in a month or two.” he made a vague gesture out. She was sure he was pleading, but she didn’t speak. “You can talk to me.” 

“I understand Master Luke.” Luke sighed and put his hand to his face. “Go on.” he waved her off and she bowed her head. Rey wandered away from the complex, it was a lot to back. So many people, and so many questions that she didn’t want to answer. They can ask Luke. She spied a set of increasing steps all well padded as several teens took bets about how high they could jump. The tallest was around three stories tall leaving Rey sneaking up to the older children and looking down at the pile of credits they had in a pool. 

One of them fell on the fourth step around a full story up as he laughed and climbed down a ladder that was along the sides. “I bet I can jump to the top.” Rey told them. They all looked at her like a bird of prey looked down at a large tasty fish. “I can.” she hedged and smiled at them as they laughed at her. 

“What you kid?” one grabbed her head and roughly ruffled her hair. “You can’t even tie your shoes I bet.” Rey snorted and rolled her eyes. 

“Leto, why not let the brat try?” She snapped her attention to the one that spoke with a glare. “We’ll all have a good laugh.” Rey swiped the hand off her head with a huff of irritation. 

“If I do I get all the cash.” Rey said. 

“Sure kid.” they waved at her amused. “Go on jump.” Rey sized up the large structure. Made up of increasing steps, each step was around four feet high. Just at head level with Rey now. She backed up and took a few breaths. Both her bare hands touched the ground as she called to the force. Don’t make it do what you want, that is what Balance said. You asked,  _ politely _ , to allow yourself and it to do things that one can’t do normally. 

A strong will helps, but only so much. Rey took off at a run as the teens joked. Then went into a laugh as she jumped, then placed her hands down on the edge of the first one, channeling all the force out from her palms, to send her sky rocketing into the air, well above them. Using a tiny push behind her she floated, concentrating, until she landed slowly, holding herself up in the air all the while to the top of the steps. She took one of the small flags there, and started down hopping down off each step as the teens gaped. 

“You cheated!” one said. Rey stayed on the first step standing up straight. 

“Nope.” she hiked her chin up. “I want my cash now.” She held out her hand. 

“As if brat!” she glared down at the teen. “Give me that!” he pointed to the flag. Rey eyed him from her higher position. “I said give it to me! I’ll tell master Luke you cheated!” She put it behind her back, he tried to clamber up but she kicked him in the face. The rest of the teens backed away from their friend now sporting a broken, and bleeding nose. 

“High ground.” she said and folded her arms in front of her. 

“Fine take it!” the one who had called her a brat first shouted and threw all the coins at her. Rey smiled, picking them up as the teens left the stairs. She didn’t make a tidy sum, but she did make quite a bit and for someone who didn’t have anything or anyone. She stayed on the steps thinking of what to buy, or where to save the coins where no one would look for them. It took little time for Luke to come back looking irritated. 

“Rey!” he shouted. She ignored him, and put all the coins into a small pouch. “REY!” she looked down at Luke with a frown. 

“Yes Master Luke?” she asked, making her face go neutral before he could tell her to stop scowling. 

“Why did you kick Leto in the face?” he asked, trying to be calm. 

“Because we made a bet and he tried to take my flag.” She held out the material to him. He looked at it then back to her. 

“You got the flag?” he asked. “You know you can’t just climb-” Rey huffed as she jumped down and dropped the flag. It landed in a small heap on the dirt. 

“If you don’t believe me it's not worth anything.” she told him and nodded. “Master Luke.” He gaped at her and picked it up. 

“I’m sorry.” he amended. She shrugged. “You did it in one jump?” his voice went higher, and she shrugged. “That is amazing Rey, really. It's not a thing just yet but is there something-” 

“Credits.” she said and he stopped. “I want credits.” 

“Why?” She was staring out at the field watching Voe and two other adults sparing. 

“Cause I do.” Luke sighed. 

“Okay.” She stepped back as he reached a hand out towards her. “Rey, I…” 

“Is there anything else you need Master Luke?” 

“Yes.” she nodded waiting. “How do I make things up to you?” she shrugged. “Stop that.” Rey didn’t move and stayed silent. “Rey please, I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry. I got side tracked, you were safe there.” 

‘Nothing.’ she thought sadly. ‘Nothing will make it up to me.’ it was a bitter thought. Tekka just left her with Luke, just like her parents just left her with Unkar. Then Unkar foisted her off to Tekka because she was intractable as a slave. She was always being left, even Han and Leia left her. Despite Ben pleading and begging them. On the ship back she wanted to vow to never leave Ben, but she was still a child and thus at the whims of adults. Rey didn’t know the process in full for declaring herself an independant, as with most things it would require a lot of things. Money most in particular. 

“How about we go visit Ben?” she looked up at him and he smiled. “That always makes you happy.” she looked away. “Right?” 

“If that is what you want Master Luke.” Luke groaned. He was only doing it to make her more tractable. Like when Unkar would give her food and water when she behaved. Like when Tekka would let her work on repairs for the village when she behaved. Or took her on trips. 

“Alright leave. I’ll think of something you’ll like.” he offered out his hand holding the flag but she ignored it leaving to watch the adults spar. It was really amazing to watch and at the moment Rey wasn’t allowed to touch the training blades. All dulled and meant to only leave bruises, these three used real lightsabers. 

“Hey, you can get hurt staying here!” A quarren called to her. “It's dangerous.” 

“I’m a dangerous person.” she replied, in the closest she could get to Mon-Calamari. He blinked and the lower face tentacles rose up in a smile of a kind as he stood and stepped up by her. 

“You speak?” he called and she raised her hand and shook it side to side. “Pretty well for a human.” 

“Thank you. I am Rey, master.” he laughed. 

“Not a master. Not yet. Hennix.” he touched his chest as she smiled. “You are new?” 

“I guess.” he tilted his head at her. 

“Rey.” Voe said panting. They had stopped for a moment, the other man frowned at her. “What are you doing here? This is dangerous.” 

“Thank you for being kind to me Hennix.” Rey told him and nodded. Hennix waved at her as she left. She would go with the kids her age or younger but most of them were under her level of training now. Anyone she tried to associate with was either overwhelmed and scared, like the kids her age, or angry like the older teens. Or just not happy like the adults. 

She went to the kitchens and sniffed around for anything to eat. Finding a few leftovers that left a few students grimacing at her thriftiness she ate. Luke must not be done with her as he found her there helping one of the droids clean up. “Thank goodness you are not hiding.” he mumbled and smiled at her. She looked from him back to the trays, helping the protocol droid to stuff the dirty ones into the dish-washer. “Rey,” 

“Yes master Luke?” Luke huffed out a breath and she ducked her head waiting. 

“I think I have a way for you to at least tolerate me.” he seemed to be joking. The droid pulled out the clean and sanitized trays, allowing her to push more in. She ate a half eaten roll on one Luke made a noise and just let out a breath. “Will you come with me?” 

“To where master Luke?” he groaned. “I am helping Oh-Eight, here.” 

“She is very nice master Luke.” Oh-Eight said brightly. “I never had any help until she arrived. Why I would be at this all day without her.” 

“Yes that is nice, but please?” she pushed more trays into the washer, it was the last stack of them. “Rey,” he warned. “I don’t want to have to order you.” she stepped away from the dishwasher and folded her hands behind her back staring above his right shoulder. 

“Thank you master Rey.” Oh-Eight told her she turned to smile at him. 

“Alright. Follow me please.” he held out a hand again, but she didn’t take it. Luke looked hurt again, but she deflated a little more as she followed him. “Having you watch the three spar gave me the idea Rey.” he told her trying to smile, or rather get her to smile. She stayed silent as he led her towards a locked room. “If I have you do this, will you swear to me to never hurt anyone here?” he asked her. 

She blinked and finally looked at his face. He looked earnest, and pleading. “I know you come across as violent and… I haven’t really been helping with that.” he held out his hands. “So I want you to swear to me to never hurt anyone.” she nodded, but he didn’t move. 

“I swear not to hurt anyone here master Luke.” she said dutifully. He smiled again nodding, he put his flesh hand on a scanner and it pinged, she flinched when he touched her back guiding her into the small building. She shook once inside, it was like being near the mirror again in a way. Like hundreds of little whispers were just waiting to be released and when they were they’d hurt, and make nothing else but pain. 

“Here, concentrate and find your crystal.” he waved into the room. She looked at him then back around to the rows and stacks of saber crystals of all kinds. “The emperor had a thing for collecting them thankfully. We have plenty despite them mining Khyber for the death star.” Rey swallowed and closed her eyes, trying to think of just ‘how’ to find the right thing. Balance said khyber came from the stars, he had a blade made from melted sand that held a lot of small crystals. He had forged it himself. “Try to find a voice, a call that matches your own heart.” Luke explained when she didn’t move. 

“Okay master Luke.” he made another groaning noise. Rey took a few steps to be in the middle of the room and closed her eyes reaching out slowly. Each voice trembled, each voice was slowly silenced as she tried to find something, anything. One by one the voices died out, until there were only a few left over. None of the others she was sure would ever allow her to use them, but a set of two seemed not to mind her there. “I can’t… control who I am.” she told the silent room. They didn’t care. They weren’t really alive technically. 

“Are you speaking to me?” She jerked towards Luke with a shock not really expecting him to stay. The two crystals were mirrored yellow ones, each a sort of half sphere. It seemed to be halves of a whole crystal; Rey pointed to it. Luke nodded. “Take them, then you find your own way to make a saber with them.” She scowled as she reached for them. “I give you the general schematics Rey. It is part of the… usual training to make your own saber.” 

“Yes master Luke.” he gaped at her. “May I leave now?” 

“Rey, aren’t you… happy I’m trusting you?” she looked around her, all these tiny voices all these former Jedi all who had been killed by the Empire. A little bit of it was standing right among them and they were not happy or pleased at all about it. 

“These are the only two that don’t care.” she hedged carefully. He gave her an odd look but she pushed passed him as he tried to come up with something to say. 

“I am being serious Rey!” Luke called after her having to jog to get back near her. “Remember when I told you that you could come to me?” she sighed. “You can.” 

“I don’t think that putting a child of the empire in a room full of former jedi crystals is good.” Luke shook his head. 

“There are a lot of kids like you Rey.” 

‘No there are not.’ she thought. ‘There is no one else.’ 

“Alright. I’ll have the instructions given to you.” he told her and smiled. “Maybe… you’d like to train with me?” he questioned. 

“If that is what you want, master Luke I can’t stop you.” 

“Rey, please. I don’t want to be enemies.” 

“We aren’t enemies.” she replied too fast and scowled mostly at herself. 

“Then why are you still upset?” 

“I’m not upset.” Luke snorted. “I… just don’t want to… be myself anymore.” she hesitated and still stepped away when Luke tried to console her. “Going in there reminded me of who I am.” 

“Rey, you are a jedi.” he told her. She frowned and looked down to the ground. 

“A jedi doesn’t get left behind to starve.” Luke went blank gasping in. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone for now. I can see I need more training on how to help kids like you.” She rolled her eyes, it sounded like he was trying to joke a bit. “Will you please, at the least, stop behaving like I hurt you?” she looked at him in the eyes. “I was coming back.” he looked earnest, but so did her family. So did Tekka. Unkar was the only one who didn’t have an earnest bone in his fat body. 

“Yes. Sir.” Luke sighed again and waved her off. Now for the most part alone and hopefully not going to be yelled at again she went to her bunk and folded her legs over her bed in meditation. 

_ ‘When I made this blade I made it to fight. This blade does nothing else, its purpose is solely to kill.’ Balance told her. ‘I did not wish for this, but I had to do this. When you make your blade you must be ready to kill.’  _

It was terrifying in a way, she folded her hands over the gems wondering if she should try to fix the two crystals or not. Rey knew of several various saber designs, including Darth Maul’s staff. Rey smiled at the thought, having a long staff would remind her of Jakku at the least, but it was unlikely she would be allowed this. 

“Delivery!” A small mouse droid shouted and raced into the bunk house right for Rey. It scanned her wrist, a small bracelet identifier was there now, and deposited the datapad it held. 

“Thank you!” Rey called to it as it rushed off getting a few looks from the other kids. It was only polite, and she swiped through the pad hiding the two halves under her leg as she got curious looks. 

“Rey right?” One of the other kids her age asked. “What is that?” Rey frowned at the kid. They were apparently the same age but maturity was one thing to consider. 

“Master Luke wants me to do something.” Rey answered looking at a staff. It was more of a long saber handle but with a twist it could shoot out to become a saber staff. All of this would wait until she connected to her gem. Rey’s mind worked as she examined the various designs. There were whips even, and how those worked she could only ogle at. Most of it was lost or redacted and it was up to all of them to find out how. 

She sighed and palmed the two stones as everyone settled in to get some sleep. Meditation never came easily, it was all about looking inwards. She didn’t want to and would rather not be reminded of who she was. It was like being in that room with the crystals, they almost screamed in terror. Most were handed down for years, between hastily made jedi students. None well trained and scared of the empire. 

These two were pearl-like, the various layers obvious on the inside halves. Rey turned her concentration onto the pearl and shivered. The large creature it came from seemed to stretch and lick at a large corpse. Something people needed and it didn’t care. It was hungry and thus must sate this need. She’d watch as it was killed and this very gem pulled out of its guts. Someone tried once to make it into a saber, but it shattered in half when they used too much power into it. 

No wonder it didn’t care. Rey stood up looking at the dragon it came from, and asked ‘may I use you for fighting?’ it regarded her curiously. But yawned, it fought, mostly its own kind. A long time ago it had a lot of enemies, when Tatootine didn’t have millions of lives on it. When it didn’t have to worry about sentient life killing it just for being alive. She smiled and reached out, the dragon still stared at her as she touched its neck. She could connect with it, sure that if people knew what she was they’d want the same thing as those people who killed it wanted. 

The pearl made a small ping, and it was hers. Tomorrow she’d start on making her saber-staff, and she’d be damned if she’d get yelled at just for making something like some dark lord. That alone didn’t make her evil. Rey pushed the gems into her clothes, keeping them close to her body. The datapad went under her pillow as she blinked into the darkness. Sleep may come, but she wasn’t sure if she would actually have nice dreams. Nightmares were more normal than good dreams. 


	9. Projection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets told that Ben is finally going to be coming to academy. She is very excited.

“Good job Rey!” Hennix praised as she parried a blow with an older teen. The three, him, Voe and another human called Tai; whom she was currently sparring with. Though how much human Rey wasn’t sure of, he held no hair on his head and that could either mean he shaved, or it was just a quirk of human nature or some obscure alien genetics in his line. She bowed with a flourish as the teen grumbled. 

“Yes but HOW did she do it?” Voe demanded. Rey grimaced, and looked away. In the year that had passed since she had been back it was like she had taken a lot of offense to Rey being in some strange place of power over all of the students. One of the few that could do all she could and more was Luke. 

“I just did it.” Rey defended quietly. Voe looked down at her. As barely eighteen Voe wasn’t the oldest of them, Hennix was, but she also was one who seemed to constantly compare herself to Rey. Rey wasn’t even Luke’s favored student. 

“But how.” Voe pressed. Rey sighed. 

“I just knew where he would try to strike, like a ghost before he tried.” she explained carefully. 

“That is it?” Voe snapped. But Rey was saved from trying to explain further when Luke coughed and smiled as everyone looked to them. “Oh! Master Luke!” Voe grinned as Rey turned and looked away from him waiting. 

“I thought I would tell you first Rey.” Luke explained and Rey caught a small frown from Voe. “We are going to get a new student and I thought you would like to know who.” She blinked at him and his earnest look. 

“Why would it concern me?” she asked and he just smiled. 

“It is Ben.” he said and she went blank. “He… well lets just say he needs some help.” Rey nodded not wanting to get too excited.

“He is heading here?” Luke nodded. “For how long?” 

“As long as it takes to be trained fully.” Rey felt her lips pull into a smile. “I thought you’d like to know.” 

“Who is Ben?” Tai asked. 

“My nephew. Rey’s friend.” Luke explained as Rey recovered herself and felt for the first time for a year joy. It had been a long time since she had been able to visit. 

“Oh,” Voe mumbled and looked at Rey as she decided to work out some nervous energy, cleaning up after the duel. “May I speak with you Master Luke?” 

“Of course.” Luke smiled and made a small wave to Rey that she returned. Luke seemed to sigh in relief with that. Rey’s only thought was what she wanted to show Ben first. “Voe…” Luke said and sighed. “The force is like a door,” Rey perked up looking at them. “Some people just have it more open than others, but that doesn’t mean you can’t open it.” 

“So she is just better?” Voe asked and Luke shook his head. 

“Maybe… think of it like water. Now it can trickle, or flow into a torrent right?” 

“Yes.” Voe nodded. “But a torrent can cause damage,” Voe added before Luke could speak side eyeing Rey. 

“It can, but so can a small trickle. Over time. Sometimes even the smallest droplet of water can have the largest effect.” Rey looked to Luke waiting for their conversation to end. Voe scowled at her but seemed less offended that Rey was there. 

“When will he be here?” Rey asked as Voe said goodbyes. Luke looked more happy with her newer happiness, and she wanted to hate that. But Ben was coming, and that was all that Rey needed to be happy. 

“In a few days. Give or take the senenic routes that Han likes.” She nodded smiling, it was just to spend more time with his family without any interference. 

“We need to hold a welcome party!” Luke blinked in shock. 

“Rey we don’t-” he began. 

“IT IS BEN!” she asserted. “He is leaving his family for us.” 

“Not exactly… he has to.” she frowned at him. “Okay. We can at least hold a par….ty…” Luke paused and looked at her. “Rey, when is your birthday?” 

“What do you mean?” Rey was more confused by the sort of horror she felt come from Luke. It was an old creeping sort of thing that just seemed to knock him on the head. 

“We never… oh crap.” he put his hand to his face and sighed. “Rey, do you remember the date of when you were born?” 

“No… not really?” Luke gave her a small smile. 

“Well we can celebrate your birthday as the same date that Ben gets here how about that?” She was never invited to the various parties held by the various students. “Would you like that?” she didn’t think much about it. 

“Yes I would Luke.” he offered another smile and she smiled back.

“Alright, go tell the droids to prepare for a party for… the both of you.” Luke paused a moment and she ran off without a word of goodbye. Ben wasn’t going to be happy to leave his family, but she could at least make it a tiny bit better by doing this. He’d never forget her, but just like her he was at the whims of the adults around them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope its clear that Rey is projecting a bit. This is a important detail.


	10. High Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben have their first day at the academy.

She could feel his hesitation as the transport ship landed, it was just a small skiff that could be remotely piloted. It let Rey know that while the two said goodbye on ship they probably had him alone in there. She smiled looking to everyone she could gather up as the doors opened. Ben had grown taller than last she saw him, shooting up in height like some kind of plant given stimulants. An awkward looking youth, but she just grinned. 

**  
**

Almost as tall as her now Rey waved to him as he looked around the scene with wide eyes. “Hello Ben!” Rey called. Everyone mumbled a ‘hello, welcome’ as she walked to his side. A small smile took his face. “Need help?” 

**  
**

“Not really.” he told her. He stepped off the skiff, and from its cargo bay the doors shuttered open and it lifted up gently. The ramp and doors closed while it raised in air then flew off into the sky. The pile was neat and tidy, and just a few personal things. 

**  
**

“Well?” She asked, he put a smile on his face. “Come on, I’ve got a party for you.” He tried to grin, but the both of them could sense a taste of jealousy, or maybe just irritation that Ben of all people got a welcome party. Despite it being explicitly her ‘birthday’ party. They enjoyed the party though, as it was one of the days they could have sweets. Usually reserved for once a week and then only a few biscuit like things. 

**  
**

“Why did they just drop you off?” Ben grimaced looking away from her. “It's okay if you don't want to say.” 

**  
**

“I broke Uni.” he told her. “I didn’t want to really. But I’m not some dumb kid and Uni was treated me like it still. I told them I didn’t need a babysitter but,” he sighed. Rey had just finished giving him a tour. He stayed silent as if working up the courage to talk to her. Ben was more excited to visit the weapons training dome than anywhere else. “But they didn’t think so.” 

**  
**

“I never liked Uni.” Rey said, making him snort and chuckle. “How bad?” 

**  
**

“Irreparable.” She chuckled with him. “Its just a dumb droid but they acted like I killed someone.” 

**  
**

“You know how they are about threepio and Artoo.” Ben shrugged. 

**  
**

“I would never hurt them, they aren’t like Uni.” he paused over the small bunk that he was going to be in with all the other boys his age. His few things would be stored in his ‘area’ and though he shared a wall with everyone below his bed was a desk and small seat. She noted his calligraphy set as he unboxed it out from an ornate metal tin. “Are you busy?” 

**  
**

“Nope! I have all day to help you settle in.” Ben grinned. “Want help with putting things away?” 

**  
**

“Please. I don’t…” he paused and sighed. “I don’t think I could do this without you.” 

**  
**

“Oh please. You’d be fine. Luke’s here at the least.” She picked up a small box, he didn’t have a lot of clothes. Those would be provided here. But most of it was things she thought were personal to him. It took like time for him to arrange his things on his small desk as she handed things to him. A few of the other students came to say hellos and introduce themselves. Rey folded up the last box leaning up against the nearby wall. 

**  
**

“Is it really that nice here?” Ben asked, looking around. Most students were busy with various lessons. Most Lessons were taught by the old AI holocrons, leaving Luke more free to personally train a few of the students. “I don’t…” she reached out and touched his shoulder. 

**  
**

“I’m here to help you. Anytime you need it.” he smiled at her. 

**  
**

“Thank you. I don’t think I’d be able to stand it.” he cast a glance out to more curious stares that made them start away. 

**  
**

“Yeah, they’ll get used to you too.” she chuckled as he grinned. 

**  
**

“I’ve been working on a few things. Mom wanted me to learn some political stuff all the time. Did you know a few of those First Order goons are sensitive?” 

**  
**

“Luke stopped letting me go with him to ensure safe meetings not long after I came back.” She told him. He frowned eyebrows drawing in as she sighed. “But whatever. I can show you a few things I learned. In fact, you’re looking at the primary flag collector for every challenge.” Ben blinked as he didn’t understand fully what she meant. Rey preened. 

**  
**

“Am I going to know what that means?” 

**  
**

“Oh Yes! I expect no less than second place from you!” he laughed unsurely. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” 

**  
**

“So I get a personal trainer?” he asked her. Rey laughed and took a step away touching her chest. 

**  
**

“Very much so.” Ben hunched a little looking shy. “What do you want to learn first?” 

**  
**

“Why don’t you tell me oh great wise Jedi?” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Master Rey.” he bowed to her mocking. 

**  
**

“Supreme Master Rey to you!” she scolded, making him laugh. 

**  
**

“With you here, I think I can stand it. I don’t have to memorize delegates right?” Rey scoffed, shaking her head. “Thank Luck and the force.” 

**  
**

“You only have to memorize forty trillion Jedi teachings.” Ben fake groaned as they laughed together. 

**  
**

“REY!” Voe called as they exited. “You’re late for saber practice!” Voe looked up to Ben and nodded to her. Rey shrugged. 

**  
**

“I’m busy. Fight with Tai.” Voe blinked at her. 

**  
**

“You don’t want to?” Rey rolled her eyes. “Uh… I suppose I can fight with Tai.” Voe looked over Ben. “Voe.” she touched herself. 

**  
**

“Nice to meet you.” she nodded and frowned at Rey. 

**  
**

“So… are you going to fight Hennix then?” Rey shook her head. 

**  
**

“I’d much rather help Ben get up to speed Voe. Leto can fill in for me if you must all have your own partners.” A small smile graced Voe’s lips as she bowed her head. 

**  
**

“What was that about?” Ben asked her, Rey snorted. 

**  
**

“Something about me being better than all three. Voe’s so angry about it, she’s always needed to be better. I don’t know or care why.” Ben nodded and hunched his shoulders again. 

**  
**

“So you really will hold off on your training for me?” 

**  
**

“Not that I need training. Luke has yet to finalize the whole end Trail thing. Trying to find out the whole thing from the ashes of the Empire is hard Ben. So until then, I think I’ll be fine.” He grinned again. “Do you want to start tomorrow or today?” 

**  
**

“When do I get my saber?” he asked her. 

**  
**

“Well… I think Luke has an extra one.” he laughed. “But just remember I didn’t get it for you.” 

**  
**

“I lo… I like it it here.” she grinned at him, not caring that Han and Leia had to abandon him here. She’d give him what she didn’t get, a small home here as well as she could make it. “Do you think I’ll make friends?” he asked her as she floated the old saber into her hand and handed it off to him. Luke didn’t lock his quaint home, but he didn’t expect anyone to snoop. 

**  
**

“You want friends? Leia says enemies are better.” Ben laughed again nodding. 

  


“You are right about that. Well, to enemies.” he bowed as they left, Rey just needed to head to her bunk to grab her saber. Luke probably wouldn’t enjoy it, he’d probably rather ease Ben into everything slowly. But she was sure with who they were, he’d need to know how to defend himself. They’d expect him to, and expect him to be utterly exceptional. She was sure he was, but she’ll be damned if she wasn’t going to hand him a ladder instead of expecting him to be on a pillar from the beginning. 


	11. It is really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets scolded by Luke for giving Ben a saber. Luke then reveals the likely cause of her nightmares.

“You can’t just do things like this.” Rey half listened as Luke scolded her. “Listen Rey, he’s not even…” 

“He’s a natural. You saw it!” Luke opened and closed his mouth. 

“Rey, I don’t want to have to lock up my home.” he told her and frowned at her. “Why is all I ask.” he held out a hand to her as she looked away. 

“I remember you talking to Mara one time about giving Ben your old saber.” Luke gaped at her back straightening. 

“You remember that?” he asked her, Rey shrugged. “Ah, you are not wrong about it. But Leia wouldn’t have wanted it back then. So that is why?” she nodded. “You needed to ask my permission.” 

“Mara said it's easier to do it then after beg forgiveness.” Luke smiled shifting his sitting stance as she shrugged. 

“Yes obviously. I guess it is alright, for Ben. The rest… Rey you do know that this puts pressure on him? The rest of the kids as well. What does it seem to them?” Rey frowned looking down. 

“It seems like...me?” she asked and Luke pressed his lips together. “When I came back? Did you… even tell anyone about me?” He put his hand to his face. “What even happened?” 

“You, Rey, I thought this was over with.” she looked away from him. “Did you remember when you were born?” 

“No. Tekka said I was seven, do the math.” Luke made a low noise. 

“Fifteen then.” he offered a smile. “I guess that is old enough.” he put his hand to his face. “Mara, she was injured. I had to leave for her.” Rey blinked to him. “At the same time a lot of parents seemed to see getting their children into this place was a place to fob off secondary heirs.” He sighed. “I am sorry, but I didn’t think you would be in such a terrible place there while I dealt with everything.” 

“You didn’t tell anyone?” Luke frowned. 

“I couldn’t TRUST anyone.” he amended to her holding a finger to her. “That place Rey, is the first planet that the jedi, came to be the jedi. It was the first place where someone like us looked up and felt the force.” she nodded to him. 

“That’s why I took you too. Those books, those are so ancient they shouldn’t exist but they do. I thought you might need to know that long before you or me, there were people just like us. You’re not just a little kid. You are a part of something grand.” he gestured out. “You are a jedi Rey.” 

“Okay.” she breathed in and smiled. “I am sorry too for invading your privacy.” he nodded. “It made him happy.” 

“I know. That’s hard for him to come by, that’s why I’m allowing it.” He smiled at her and stood up. “Did you have a nice birthday?” 

“Sure.” 

“Are you still having nightmares?” she paused as she stood blank. “Rey?” 

“Does that matter?” Luke grimaced. 

“No. It doesn’t.” she shifted uneasily sure there was something wrong. “Rey, I am trying to help you, you do understand that right?” 

“Yes… of course I do.” she leaned away from him as he settled in front of his desk. He wasn’t ‘in’ his office that much. Usually using it to meet the parents of students, or for these sorts of situations of scolding. “What is it?” 

“Do you see things?” he made a gesture of opening a book. “I’ve been learning of this myself, but apparently there was a… Jedi a while ago who had these visions before he was turned to the dark.” Rey shivered and grimaced looking down and away. “It was these visions that turned him eventually to the darkness.” 

“Who was it?” 

“It was Vader.” Rey looked up to him gaping. “He was a jedi Rey. I know that isn’t that common knowledge that much. The Empire preferred to scrub that knowledge out.” He gestured. “It was thought that the Emperor sent him these nightmares. You are still doing what I taught you? Not allowing anyone in your head?” 

“Yes. I taught Ben how to do that.” Luke blinked and nodded. 

“Good good! I didn’t think that would be a problem for him. He’s so well shielded usually. But that is good.” Rey settled back into her seat. “Thank you. That was good of you to do.” she felt odd at the praise. 

“Can you stop edging around the sinking pit? Beating around the bush?” she asked him and he sighed looking away from her and steepling his hands together. 

“This Snoke of the first order. I believe he is sending you nightmares. A few of the other students have said they get them on occasion. I believe he is trying to make everyone scared to be here.” he explained to her as she scowled in thought. “I thought since you are the only one who has them… a lot more than the rest that you might need… help in blocking him out more.” she swallowed. 

“I haven’t… I don’t even know who he is. I think I’ve heard of Leia talking about him.” Rey told him. 

“No I didn’t think you did. But,” he extended his hands out to her. “I want to ensure that you are more shielded just in case.” 

“Why just me?” Luke looked pained. “Luke?” 

“Because I know there is darkness in you. I’ve… see it Rey. I know that it is a part of you.” She wanted to tell him it was part of everyone. But it didn’t seem like the time. “Look.” he moved around and from his desk pulled out a broken saber, the end of it held a dark red crystal almost the color of blood. Luke didn’t keep sith crystals, he destroyed them anytime one just so happened to turn up. 

It was the feeling of reoccurance that had her feeling out of place with herself. Wondering if Luke remembered that he had told this to her before. But then she blinked back to Luke as he frowned like she hadn't been listening again. 

“This was Vader’s saber, you know how evil he was right?” 

“Yes… he was a bad man.” 

“He was. But he had hopes, dreams, and so much more. That was taken when he embraced the dark. It seemed impossible, but he came back from that. I know that you may think it's a bad thing. But it's not.” Rey stared at the red crystal. Half listening. “He was an evil man, very evil, but he saw the light in the end and helped me to destroy the empire.” Luke finished up and she looked at him nodding. 

“I understand. This Snoke… has been making me have nightmares?” 

“Yes.” she nodded. Ben never told her about Nightmares. But he didn’t tell her everything, she wondered if all the time back then when she had the one that Luke woke her up from, is when she could have taken them from him. Maybe she did. That didn’t mean she regretted it. “So let's practice shielding?” Luke asked her as she shook her head from her thoughts. 

“Yes sir.” Rey bowed her head to him and he smiled. 

“I’m not blaming you.” he told her quickly. “Snoke… is not an enemy I want to face like this. I would prefer to march out there and take him down. But… well… politics. It's a different era.” Rey shrugged. It didn’t make much sense to her, if anyone would, could, and should take down some evil user of the force it should be him. 

Later afterwards she found herself with a constant headache that no amount of fast acting meds could counter. She smiled at Ben as he showed off to a group of students. He brandished a yellow flag at the small obstacle course he had just run. Rey waved at him and he waved back as he preened in front of them. She knew that this peace could only last so long. If Snoke was the one sending nightmares, then obviously it wasn’t just her. 

If Snoke was sending these things and trying to hurt Ben, Rey paused. Ben would have told her, she sighed. It was just complicated. Maybe she could get Luke to explain, probably not. “This kind of thing would kill people if done for long.” he told her. “Do you remember meeting him? He could have put some kind of tie into you.” he had asked. 

“Don’t blame me.” she muttered. If he didn’t blame her then why was it just her? Ben rushed up to her elbow brandishing the flag. 

“Did you see me do it?” he asked her and she shook her head. 

“Sorry Ben, I was with Luke.” he frowned a moment. “But how many is that now?” 

“Seven, I just need twenty more to even be third.” she laughed and touched his shoulder. 

“You’ll get there. Have you thought about what you want?” Ben nodded. “So?” 

“Luke just got a flight trainer. He said everyone will know the basics but I think he will let me use it so I can get really good.” Rey smiled nodding to him. “What do you get?” 

“I asked for money.” he blinked as she shrugged. Ben seemed to know exactly why, or maybe knew at least why she might want money instead of anything else. Like rest days, or even personal objects. 

“Well, do you want to be my co-pilot?” he asked her, shifting by her as she grinned at him. 

“You don’t need to ask that dear one. Of course I will!” Ben grabbed her hand and quickly took off in a jog. Keeping up with him promised to be less easy as he continued to grow. Almost outgrowing a uniform a month at this pace. But he was happy, and she was willing to ensure his joy for as long as she could do so. 


	12. Fourtune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Older now, Rey travels with Luke, ben and a pilot called Don to a temple where she meets with a a strange man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REY IS EIGHTEEN when this happens. I want to make it clear that she is an adult.

The temple was grand as Rey stared at it, wrought from sandstone and carved in the likeness of two jedi facing each other. There was something there but there was more to worry about. Luke wasn’t waiting and she had to stumble to keep up with him and Ben. “Luke! Wait!” she called and raced after them. 

The three had just gotten in by the time she was near the entrance. Four of them were flanking the small group with Ben. One of them was the one she aimed for. “Oh Really? I don’t see your name upon the stones.” The leader said, voice muffled by his helmet with a symbol that meant ‘death’ on the blank face. 

“As the last Jedi this place does belong to me.” Luke warned. “I do not wish to fight but I will if I must.” The leader chuckled tilting his head as Rey snuck. It was all too easy to get behind the group, she knew Luke saw her as the others grasped their hand to hand weapons.

“Really? I guess the Jedi really must have waned.” the leader joked. “Four against three. And only one with any real training.” Luke shook his head, but not at the dark sith in front of Rey. But at her. It happened at one moment, the leader froze, just as she flicked the saber on, but he wasn’t fast enough. She had the yellow blade across his chest and just under his chin almost close enough to burn his skin. Rey would frown at it, it looked like some kind of exosuit was burned into his skin, if she wasn’t now threatening him she could feel sympathetic. “Ah… four.” he said and cocked his head to her, holding up both arms in surrender. 

“Yes. Four.” the three others looked to her. “Tell them to get out or you are dead.” she told him, she looked to Ben as his face lit up in relief. The leader stayed quiet for a moment, and she brought the saber just a hair closer, searing a small line into his skin. Her free hand gripped the edge of the only torso covering he had, a long tattered black cloak. 

“Out.” he commanded, the three sheathed their weapons looking to him. “I mean it.” he said lastly, and they left Luke only sighed in relief when the three were gone from sight away from the entrance. “Now what little girl?” he questioned her. 

“Rey, I’ll-” Luke began as she pressed herself closer to him and reached around his hip. 

“Pardon my reach please.” she said and groped his front as the three men, and one Ben stared at her. Gaping in mild horror, say for Ben, who probably knew exactly what she was reaching for in his pants. 

_ “This isn’t exactly how I start my nights.” _ the leader mumbled lightly in a pigeon tongue. In Jakku pigeon to be more exact. 

_ “Oh? And you start them with any willing body?” _ she snapped back. He shook as she groped past what was between his legs.  _ “Sorry once more for your lack of flattery.” _ She pulled out the small palm sized holocron and tossed it at Luke before drawing back and away, keeping the saber trained on him as Luke smiled at her. She was now with her group saber pointing at him all the while. 

“Rey, how did you know?” Ben asked. Ignoring the steady threat the lord in front of her presented. 

“Luke, Don, get Ben out, we’ll come back later.” Rey said. He dropped his hands but kept one up, touching the chin of the mask like he was examining her. 

“Rey, this doesn’t have to end in a fight, RIGHT?” Luke looked to him. 

_ “You want a fight don’t you little girl?” _ he asked in Jakku pigeon. 

_ “As if I would indulge you anything you want you bantha shit fucking ass end of a sarlac.”  _ He started laughing as Luke touched her shoulder. 

“What did he say?” Luke asked. 

“Jakku pigeon for frak’s sake Luke. You SAID you learned it.” Rey snapped not looking away from the lord. 

“Ren.” the lord said and gestured to himself. She raised an eyebrow, Luke pulled at her and she yanked her shoulder back. 

“I said get him out.” Luke huffed. “I can handle him and you know it.” Luke sighed and moved away grabbing Ben’s shoulder. 

“Are you going to fight him?” Ben asked her. “ _ KICK HIS ASS!”  _ Ben called to her in the same tongue. They stayed near the entrance to avoid the others circling back to gang up on her. 

_ “You don’t belong with them.” _ Ren told her. She shut the saber off, but kept it in her hand.  _ “You can feel it can’t you?”  _

_ “Feel what?” _ Rey backed up a step as the larger man approached her. It was the wrong thing to do she knew, showing a shred of weakness. Instead of quailing further she grit her teeth and faced him as he slowly, she would say methodically, got close enough to touch her. 

“ _ You can come with me _ .” he pulled off his helmet and she blinked at the human male. The burned on exosuit could have said anything of what he could be. His hair was white, or possibly grey although there were not any traces of wrinkles on his face. He smiled at her.  _ “I know you feel the Ren. The dark energy around us both.”  _ Ren, was a word for two things that she knew. Blood, and Red, she tilted her chin up to him. 

_ “Do you think I’m stupid? That short sighted? What do you expect of me Lord Bantha shit Ren?” _ he raised an eyebrow grinning now.  _ “Fight and kill those three?” _

_ “No. One. Two likely would be easy, like the boy.”  _

_ “I will turn you into such small quivering chunks that I’ll be able to eat you with a spoon! If you ever lay so much as a finger or gaze on him Ren.” _ she pointed a finger into his chest. “I…” she froze eyes going wide, he wasn’t threatened by her. For her first confrontation with a lord of the sith she was desperately lacking a massive fight. 

_ “I did not mean to imply such harm if you didn’t wish it.” _ he said and lifted one hand and dared to put it on her hand frozen in pointing at his chest. “You are so strong little Rey.” he whispered leaning down to her ear. 

_ “Did I say you could use my name you son of a- _ ” she went on as he seemed to grow more amused at her very adept Jakkusian language. But she had dropped off in a whisper looking back to the group who were not exactly liking how close the two were.  _ “By my training I will not be seduced by a pair of pretty fucking eyes.” _

_ “I will see you soon.”  _ He seemed to assure her and himself. He stepped back away from her and put the helmet on. “I see your feral little sand cat has chased me off. Her whiplash tongue is enough for me to be faint of heart here.” she glared after him. He slipped by Luke, Don, and Ben, only looking at Ben briefly before she raced after him. He practically pranced away getting to the far group he had come with. In the quiet as they listened for a take-off Ben grabbed her hand and squeezed. 

_ “Did you really not fight?”  _ he asked her. 

_ “I think I should have Ben. Letting him talk was wrong.”  _ she replied and he frowned at her. “Some people get more through talking than an actual fight.” Luke nodded in a smile. 

“What did he want exactly?” Luke asked her. Rey glanced at Ben as if asking him to stay silent with what he could have heard. 

“To mock me for groping him to get the holocron.” she said fast, Luke wouldn’t press her. But she focused on something wrong. This place was a jedi temple. Now it was a ruin which held little other than crumbling books and the sole holocron. The thought of his smile, she hadn’t felt angry. She didn’t think she was angry or acting… evil. But then… it seemed like she pleased him all the more when she would get snippy. 

His body was well sculpted by muscle though, Rey sighed and tilted her head back hard enough that she knocked it into the side of the temple where she had laid a small bed. They felt safe enough here with plenty of scanners and twenty called in guards. Rey stood as they looked at her. “Stretching my legs.” she explained and smiled stepping out away from the borning texts and a little ways into the desert. 

She was not thinking of some random asshole in this manner. Rey was more than aware she was just over eighteen. Rey huffed as she settled down to glare at the dark horizon. Oh he was out there, she had no doubts he was still on the planet. Like he was waiting for her to slip away and run to his stinking sweaty side like some idiot waif child hungry for candy. She pulled her legs tight to her chest, one arm around them. 

Listening, she swallowed and reached down, gingerly touching herself through her clothes. It was horrible to even consider how she could imagine someone else in his position. But he wasn’t helpless, wasn’t threatened by her. She had spent so long being in control when just being allowed to even think of letting someone else take it and just let her relax was a comfort. Dark hair eclipsed her vision as he leaned forwards whispering something filthy in her ear. 

His voice was husky and deep, leaving her smiling as her hand worked through her clothes to cup herself knees and arms relaxing. It took only a little bit of time for her to slip her hand into her clothes to work herself. She breathed out, her hands were bound above her head and forced up as she dangled. He pinched her nipples, well she did until they hurt. ‘Are you a slutty little empress?’ he asked her as she squirmed. What would she need to do to get him to get her what she wanted? 

It didn’t take her long to climax as he finally touched her in her imagining. Letting her gasp in and out hotly. She gave a quick sweep, but there was no one watching. No one listened, as far as she knew. She knew she didn’t imagine Ren, no she imagined someone else. Though they shared similar black clothes. Rey put both her hands to her face and rubbed it feeling ashamed of herself for letting her body and mind become so bothered by Ren. It wasn’t like she wanted him, but… it wouldn’t feel too bad she thought. 

After she made sure there was no nervous energy in her from her masturbation she went back in to sleep, or rather in her case stared blankly into the darkness feeling a sense of smugness. She glared, and quickly hissed out a breath. She was so quiet when she left the temple again, that not even the guards were roused. Of course they weren't, they were trained as anything other than being a meat shield. If even that. 

“I said to fuck off!” she whispered harshly. Ren walked around from one of the many hidden cravasses. 

“I didn’t want to leave until I knew you weren’t coming.” he said and she glared at him, sure he knew exactly what she had done to herself. She wanted to deny herself the pleasure to do so for hours, days, weeks even. Until she cracked begging for relief. Rey wasn’t weak, and she knew she might even last years. “It would be easier now.” he said holding out his hand. 

“The skin.” she said and tilted her chin to him. “What is up with it?” 

“You’re deflecting. Buying time until Luke notices you are with me. Not with him.” Rey rolled her eyes and folded her arms in front of her. “I don’t have all night Rey.” 

“No you really don’t.” she could feel him smile. 

“I was an assassin.” he told her. “This was part of my suit I used to hide from cameras. It was made a part of me when I was sent against… two Jedi.” he paused and looked down at her as she scowled. “Two, with a girl child.” Rey blinked at him. 

“I never found the little girl, no matter how long I spent on that junkard Jakku.” Her heart hammered in her chest and blood raced into her ears.

“Oh really? What did the jedi do? Cast a magic spell?” she scoffed. 

“Lightning actually. It was the father, he died doing this.” he smiled briefly to her as she rubbed her arms. “You know of the two Jedi on Jakku?” 

“No I don't.” she said too quickly. Her voice came out a little choked instead of the strong unwavering voice she wanted. He stepped up to her putting his large hands on her shoulders as she remained unsettled. 

“You want to kill me, don’t you?” she didn’t look up at him shaking. “It takes all you can do to deny it.” Rey grit her teeth. “Do you want to know their last-” he didn’t get too far. She shoved him hard with the force. Blue lighting extended out from her hands briefly and ineffectively as he moved out of the way fully. Taking on a fighting crouch.

“I’ll do worse than fucking kill you.” she growled out and stopped herself. She felt Luke was awake. 

“How long do you think you can hide? How long can you pretend and hide what you truly are?” he stood and gave her a mocking salute. “My little empress.” 

“Fuck off Ren.” 

“See you soon.” he left as she quickly stopped back towards the temple, the guards startled by her but quickly soothed by Luke yelling at them to put their guns down. He was panicked that she had been able to slip away so easily. Rey hated herself for being so weak as to go back to talk with him. She hated herself too, she knew what she was. It was hard not to remember that with all the good memories she had. Or thought she had. 

Rey was born on a stormy dark planet with all the hope and joy that two people had for bringing in a particularly tasty sacrificial lamb. At least until she was born she thought. Before that her parents were all the more willing to consign her away. Maybe that was why it was so hard to deny her anger, deny that she felt the darkness so keenly. She was born with it, and conceived in it. With only the tiniest little, Rey, of hope that things got better. Luke gave her a mournful look. “Just chasing off those idiots.” she told him. “The guards would have gotten hurt.” she shrugged to Luke not offering him anything more as she slipped into her bed and faked at least attempting sleep. 

She felt it the moment he left and sighed in relief. They were packing up what little they had gleaned, Luke had spent the long morning meditating, reaching and looking for something here through the force. Finding nothing but old relics not even fit for a museum, other than the holocron, they got into their ship. “Rey?” Ben asked by her side as they took off. Don and Luke were in the pilot’s wagon, even though they promised her she could get a spat of flying in. Rey planned and wanted Ben to be her co-pilot. 

“Yes dear one?” she looked at him and smiled. 

“Was Ren evil?” his eyes were wide as he stared at her and she had the uncanny feeling that Ben might know. Hopefully not her shameful act, but know that she snuck out just solely to talk. To even think about leaving with him. 

“Evil is complicated.” she told him. “It’s not black,” she made a vague gesture. “And white.” she made a gesture towards Luke. “People can be evil, they can do horrible things. But we must always ask ourselves, in their mind do they do evil? Jedi systematically slaughtered all the sithari.” Ben nodded listening avidly. Rey gave a frantic look up. Hoping Luke was more distracted with the new holocron and getting off the planet safely. “They did evil, they said it was for good, only the insane think to do evil just for evil’s sake.” 

“And Ren?” she frowned. 

“I have no doubts he has done bad things. Hurt many people, and killed many more.” he nodded. “But that does not make one evil.” she shrugged as Ben went silent. “Luke has hurt, Luke has had to kill many people.” 

“Luke would-” she put a finger to his lips. 

“Everyone, you me, Luke, is capable of evil. Luke was the one who destroyed the Death Star Ben. Millions of people died on that ship alone.” Ben looked down. 

“Wasn’t it a good thing? Destroying it?” 

“Yes it was. But that doesn’t change all the people who died on the ship.” she made a gesture. “Many who didn’t have a choice to be there. All of them, all of their families would call Luke evil.” 

“So every choice I can make is evil?” he asked scornfully. Rey chuckled to him. “Every little-” 

“Ben.” he stopped and looked up at her with wide eyes. “Every choice we make can be called evil by someone. We must trust our hearts.” she reached over and touched his chest. “The force knows, and we know through it.” he frowned but nodded. 

“The force though… does it really know? Wouldn’t it stop people like Ren from using it?” Rey opened and closed her mouth, but Luke came back in looking at them. 

“How are you two?” he asked. 

“Uhhh…. Ben wants to know why people like that Ren guy can use the force.” Rey said. Luke looked to the both of them as she panicked at the right thing to say. The force she knew wasn’t just black and white. It wasn’t just a light and dark side. It seemed like it was simply a mind, the conscious thinking ‘good’ part and the animal ‘instinct’ part. Both were part of it, and both were needed to make a whole… thing. One must accept both and use both to keep the balance. 

“That is a mystery I don’t think will ever be solved Ben. I asked myself that ever since I was trained.” Luke told him and Ben gave a small nod. “Rey, how did you know this was on Ren?” Luke held up the holocron. “It's not from that temple.” he tilted his head vaguely. 

“I could sense it.” she replied. Luke settled down. “Master Luke?” 

“It's a sith holocron.” Rey’s heart thrummed in her chest. “But you knew it was on him?” she nodded not looking up to Luke. She sensed a dark evil thing and didn’t even know it was dark and evil. Maybe that was why Ren had thought she might go with him. Why he was so adamant and staying longer than he should have. Waiting for her. Still, still waiting somewhere. She wondered if he might take her so she didn’t have to make the choice herself. 

“Yes sir.” she mumbled quietly. Sure that Luke knew everything about what she was really. She was afraid, afraid he would kill her just for existing. Just for whom she was, and who her family really was. 

“I am glad you found it. What I’ve seen so far it would be dangerous for anyone to have let alone a character like that. Thank you Rey.” Rey shuddered and managed a smile as she breathed out. “Sorry too that you didn’t get to take off, but it's Don’s ship and rules.” he smiled at her and left her and Ben alone again as she recovered. She still didn’t know if Luke knew or not. 

“Why are you scared?” Ben asked, whispering. 

“I… I’ll tell you later when we are really alone.” she promised. She trusted Ben, trusted him more than anything despite him being seven years younger than her. Adoring him, and caring deeply about him was just as much as a part of her as the darkness inside of her as well it seemed. Rey knew that if Luke got a hint of this she’d likely never see him again. Love was fine, Luke had his own lover, but the fanatic feeling inside of her. Rey would burn the entire universe to the atom if he wanted her to. It wasn’t healthy, she knew it, but she held his hand anyways. “I trust you Ben.” 

“I trust you too.” He smiled at her, although she got the feeling he wanted her to say something else. Rey looked towards the cockpit, and leaned over and kissed his cheek. Ben’s cheeks went pink. 

“I do love you Ben, don’t ever doubt it.” While blushing he smiled and he relaxed. She wondered what could have been going through his mind, but she was glad that it was soothed now. She loved him, and she knew that she would do more than kill for him. It was more than her fear of her parentage, Luke might forgive that. After all with who his father was… she flicked the view screen on, watching news instead of allowing her mind to dwell in fear. The more she was afraid the more it would eat her up inside.

“MOM!” Ben glanced at the screen and she smiled at Leia. She held herself seriously and from the look on her face Rey knew there was trouble. She looked grim, and like she was about to deliver some kind of horrible news. “She’s… not happy.” Ben said. 

“I know.” Rey whispered.. The sound was clicked on, Luke just getting out of the cockpit and settling down with his head down. In his hands was a small communicator. 

“I’m sorry, you two should have learned about this another way.” he told them as they looked from him to the screen. 

“I am here today to address the accusations Senator Cerise has labeled at me.” Leia said and bowed her head. “My parentage should never come into question of just who I am personally, and my intentions. However, since this seems to be important to everyone, yes.” the crowd around her went silent. “My father was Anakin Skywalker, otherwise known as Darth Vader.” several yells, Rey grabbed Ben’s hand and held it tightly as a shiver went through him. “I never knew him as any other name. Nor can I say I like, love, or even tolerate him. He was evil, and it does not matter if he is my father. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for thinking that just because he is evil, that my intentions are anything of that nature.

“I have never shown proclivity to taking any place that he would have. I have tried again and again to foster peace. But since people seem to think that just the fact that he is my father is enough to proclaim me evil, I am now resigning as High Senator and declaring myself only as the senator of the Living Alderaan.” She bowed her head as more yells and more screams rounded off. “I hope that my replacement,” Leia looked over to a woman, she had a truly furious look on her face. “Would suffice your fears of such evil. I will not nominate, and participate in the new election. Thank you all for showing me just how much democracy has flourished in these short years since the Empire fell.” 

Leia left without another word, Rey reached around and hugged Ben. She knew how he felt, he shuddered and hugged her back. “It’s okay Ben.” she told him. “I know.” she whispered to him as Luke turned off the screen and put his hand to his face. “I know…” Ben shuddered only once more, he knew. She didn’t have to tell him exactly what she was going to confirm later. He looked up at her within the shelter of her arms and she gave a small nod. 

Rey was the emperor's daughter. Either as a sacrifice to prolong the life of her father, or to be his sole perfect heir. It didn’t matter. She knew how he felt, like it was their base nature to be evil, maybe it skipped a generation in Vader. But she knew exactly what it was like just knowing that your family came from evil. “I’m sorry Ben. I thought to tell you when you were older.” Luke admitted. 

“You should have told him as soon as he could know.” Rey snapped to him, and ran a hand down Ben’s back. 

“Rey you don’t have any idea what it's like.” She blinked at him, but kept quiet. Just a little angry, furious really. She knew without a doubt that Luke didn’t know now. Luke had no idea. Ben drew back and looked to Luke and then her. “Are you okay Ben?” he asked. 

“Is… Vader really my grandfather?” he asked, Luke only nodded. “What… what does that mean?” his voice was quiet but Rey answered before Luke could open his mouth. 

“Exactly what Leia said.” He looked to her eyes going wide, her voice was a conviction. “Just because your grandpa was Vader, doesn’t make you anything less than perfect.” Another quick blush as Luke groaned. 

“Not, not that per… nevermind. It’s fine.” Luke sighed and put his hand to his face. Luke wasn’t in the mood, nor really able to say something else. The fallout alone from this would hit him and his school hard. Rey could already see many students leaving, or being pulled out by their parents just by this little fact. It didn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter at all. But to everyone else but her, it seemed to matter all the more. 

_ “Are… are you really like that?” _ Ben asked quietly in Jakkusian. Luke looked at them. 

_ “My father was… very very bad Ben.” _

“ _ Then why don’t you tell Luke? He… _ ” Ben went quiet. “I see.” he mumbled in standard. Luke looked ready to talk, to ask just what exactly had passed, but his communicator started blowing up. Leaving the two in silence as Luke went to one of the private rooms to talk, beg, yell. Either way… if the truth of what she was came out. It would make things all the worse. It would be as if the empire was flourishing once more and would be all the proof those like Cerise needed to showcase that they were all pure utter evil. Evil if Rey had hardly ever… well not very much, shown that she had that tendency. 

But it brought up something, if she found her parents it would be fully confirmed. She’d know, and maybe with having more than just her feelings, her memories she could accept it. Tekka was one of the few people who might know, so her plan formed working away into the back of her head as she helped Ben as his co-pilot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben uses the flight simulator as a way to destress. Just making this clear. Also this is where it gets smutty.


	13. Is it home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey heads back to Jakku and finds something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you to ask yourself if you are ready for Rey to have sex cause that is what happens here.

Rey looked at Poe and sighed as he preened over the gushing of several Jedi. His new ship had been purpose built for speed. “It could make the kessel run in ten parscets! I hope to test it out soon.” he told everyone. Rey shook her head packing the few things. 

“Rey are you sure you want to head back there?” Luke asked her as she paused over the few things she had packed. Nothing really of consequence other than her saber. 

“Tekka said he needs some help, I’m almost fully trained aren’t I?” she asked back and Luke nodded to her. “When can I do the trial?” 

“When it's finished,” he said quickly. Rey grimaced looking away from him. “I know I know.” 

“Voe was declared a master.” Rey snapped. Luke held up his hands. “So was Tai, and Hennix.” 

“Rey. This isn’t a competition.” she stared at his face. “You aren’t ready.” 

“How can you know if I am ready or not?” 

“Because the test isn’t just about what you can do, it's about… you.” he said. “I don’t doubt that you are on par with anyone.” 

“Then let me take the test.” Luke shook his head. “Is it age?” 

“No.” he put a hand to his face. “Rey. The test this trial is about facing your innermost turmoil. Can you tell me what that is?” 

“Of cou….” she was about to snap but thought better of it. “Maybe.” 

“That is why I can’t allow it.” Rey glanced to Poe again scowling. “Can you face the truth of who you are inside?” Rey ignored him, and instead closed her eyes. She had been doing that for almost a decade she thought. Maybe more time than that. Maybe since she had been born she had been facing who she was. 

“Any suggestions on Moisture collector types?” she asked Luke. “Tekka has a village of thirty-seven adults and fourteen children.” Luke frowned a little at the change of subject. But he told her a few specifications that she should look for. 

“We can try the trial when you come back if you like. If you really try Rey.” she looked back at Luke and his earnest face. “I just don’t want you to be hurt. That kind of thing… when you are not ready for it hurts. It hurts a lot.” 

“Thank you. But I can handle it.” Luke smiled at her and she smiled back at him. The trip with Poe was uneventful, there wasn't a need for a copilot in the fast transport. He did have a small BB-unit droid that took up maintenance of the ship and was currently in tow near the outside of it. Probably off the model AI program that all ‘rebel’ people liked.

Jakku didn’t feel like a home when she landed on it, it just felt like a normal planet but now uncomfortably hot. Sniping a bit at Poe she regarded the other ships around in the bay. Mostly junk, there still were a few good looking ships. However every single person side-eyed the ship Poe had and she felt the need to warn him. Rey noticed only one person coming nearby the ship, knowing it was likely someone scooping out the security of the ship.. 

“Sure and has it been fully tested yet?” she joked to Poe. He had been preening about his ship again to her. What he said didn’t matter to her. He was just a driver and pilot to get her where she wanted to go. Jakku was just as horrible, with cheats, and liars all around. At least Unkar wasn’t alive anymore, she checked. Cheated out some gangs as he tried to sell a junked starship to them as a well matienced sleek vessel like Poe’s. The moisture collectors weren’t a hard find on Jakku, the things always seemed to break down, or fall into disuse. It was more profitable to sell scrap, than it was to farm for anything here. 

She could almost swear she was being followed, but ignored the feeling. Buying so many things attracted attention. She was obviously off world, and that alone would warrant a few gangs trying to knock her over anything. Rey glanced behind her narrowing her focus on a few people, none of them seemed keen to take her on.  _ ‘She looks ready to kill someone.’ _ she heard from a mental voice, a young kid with blue clan marks like his mother. 

She sighed and finished up the purchases putting them all onto a speeder rental. At least this was new business. Though the seller was the same as she remembered he branched out to renting instead of charging two arms and four legs. Rey wondered if the small speeder she made out of scrap and a correction engine was still out there. Tekka lived in Tanual, a small religious community that Rey barely had memories of now. 

Tekka picked her up and she thought to showcase the need of Jakku. That there was this feral little girl who starved, thus giving money was a good idea. Rey frowned at the familiar feeling of sand prickling her face as she rode out. It took around an hour even on a fast speeder. Jakku wasn’t the largest sandpit, but it was the most empty sandpit. Tatooine now that Luke was famous was bustling with activity people coming and going. Trying to ape out Luke’s progress as he grew up. Rey sighed and stalled just outside the village. There were guards there and they bristled towards her. 

“Hey, who are you?” one asked and eyed the objects on her speeder. He didn’t speak standard, instead the Jakku pigeon. Probably just to sound angry and bristling. 

“I didn’t think you’d be alive Nelar.” she told him and he froze gaping to her. “It's the kid Tekka took from Plutt.” she pointed to herself. The two still gaped at her as she sighed. “Go get Tekka.” One left looking blank. Rey rolled her eyes and kept her hands where the guard could see them as Tekka slowly made his way to her. She blinked at him, he looked so old. Older than he should be for what seemed like the little time she had spent with him. 

“Hello Tekka.” Rey smiled at him as he stood just away from her looking over her. “It's Rey?” 

“Ah,” he blinked over the speeder as she grimaced looking away. “Yes I remember. Why did you get these things?” 

“You always need things don’t you?” Rey asked, stepping away from the speeder so that the three could examine everything on it. 

“Yes, but why you?” he asked, turning to her. Rey felt hurt and shrugged. 

“Because I wanted to talk to you.” Tekka sighed. 

“Let's get these things into the village.” without the threat of her being some kind of monstrosity the villagers came out examining her. It was a neat gathering of alien races, mostly human however a few others peeked their head out looking over her. “A small moisture collector?” he asked her, and she shrugged again. “Why?” 

“You said in your last transmission the aquifers are not filling up.” she replied. Tekka blinked at her. 

“There isn’t much moisture in this air.” Tekka reminded her, she didn’t need to be told. 

“There are plenty of these farms on Tatooine Tekka.” she paused. “Hundreds of them. Maybe over a thousand or more.” Tekka sighed. 

“I understand.” he stated waving her off. “Rations?” Rey looked at the hard case of them, purchasing the familiar things had felt wrong in a way. 

“Emergency food.” she told him outright. Tekka nodded and went over her purchases that she had made for his village. Some of them, a small plant bed that could hold at least tiny cash crops baffled him. Rey wondered if she just had some golden sort of view of him from childhood instead he seemed tired. “Tekka, I… do you know of my parents?” 

“No of course not Rey.” Tekka turned to her as she swallowed down. “Does this relate to Luke?” he asked her. She frowned, shaking her head. 

“I, I want to find them.” she told him. “To do that I need their names at the least.” 

“Plutt might have known, but he is dead now.” Rey felt a prickling sensation. More of a crawling over her skin bumps grew over skin. She knew the feeling, it was the same feeling she had gotten when she had gone outside the second time for Ren. When she wondered if it was worth it to leave, to abandon the sole person she cared for. “But thank you Rey. This… will be useful.” he seemed to mend as she looked outside the village with a scowl. 

“Alright, I need to take care of something.” Tekka nodded. “Are… are you sure you don’t know anything, even a ship type?” Tekka frowned. 

“They might have had a quad jumper?” he shrugged as she sighed and walked out of the village to face Ren. Already with anger building she wasn’t in the mood to have his smug face presented to her. She didn’t think she hated him, but she sure as hell didn’t want this now of all times. 

“YOU!” Rey pointed to him as he grinned. He was just waiting, looking like he belonged on this planet. With less of the loose black cloak around him he did fit in. “Where is the helmet?” she asked him next trying to play off disrespect at the least. She wasn’t threatened by him. 

“That would be highly suspicious.” she stared at him, feeling something warm in her body. She felt like she might have missed him and tossed the feeling away. She hated him, she had to hate him. Rey rolled her eyes starting to fold her arms over her chest. “ I could go get it if you like. It’s in my ship.” 

“As if.” She paced a moment looking back to the village then back to him. It had taken a so long to get Luke to allow her to head here alone. To be able to find her parents, dead or alive. Not that she truly wanted to, but… Rey grimaced. Maybe have this chance at meeting with Ren. He allowed her to pace as she fought with her feelings down. “Why are you here?” she asked. 

“For you.” she froze and felt her heart stammer a beat in her chest. “I wanted to speak with you again.” She dropped a stance to almost gap at him in confusion. Instead she scowled at him trying to feel him out. Ren however well shielded himself and whatever intention he had for her. “Unless you want to test yourself.” he held out his hand to her. “More so than those frail fools at your academy.” 

“You want me to kill you?” she asked him and he drew his hand back to himself. He smiled at her and her heart gave that strange flutter again. 

“No.” Rey sighed in relief. “Just a friendly duel with someone more your equal.” she scoffed, hiding a smile as she looked away from him. 

“Luke can handle me.” she hoped to sound confident, eyeing him. Maybe it was because of him, but since she had tried to get stronger. She didn’t want to be overpowered and the force could only support her so much. She could prop herself up with it, but eventually it could backlash through her and break a few bones. 

“Not for long.” his voice dropped lower and she blushed. It felt good to have someone not judge her strengths, or weaknesses for that matter. Rey smiled and figited. 

“I...well...sure.” she swallowed a few points. “Just give me a moment to say goodbye.” he bowed to her. Rey straightened and walked back into the village nervously fingering her belt. A lot of the people seemed to be happy, though wary of her still. To be indebted to her was not something that they wanted. Even if she was a jedi, to the people here no one did a kindness. “I have to leave Tekka.” she told the old man as he guided a group to put the small plot on the side of a building. Rey sighed again, he probably wouldn’t use it. 

“Yes that is fine.” Tekka waved at her, not looking at her. Rey felt hurt. A few of the villagers looked to her but stayed silent as she marched out directly towards Ren. He smiled as she approached barely any time was spent saying goodbye. Tekka didn’t care for her, he can explain to them she was magnanimous and helpful. That she was a good perfect little jedi, coming out here to sas a dark lord of the sith. 

“Speeder is over here.” she gestured. “I assume you walked at least a mile?” he chuckled a bit as she looked away from him. He was still shirtless, but he didn’t have black pants on. With lighter boots, and his hair actually brushed he at least looked quite a bit different. Refined and it left her feeling strangely warm. 

“Three actually.” she snorted and grinned about to snipe back. He made a gesture to himself opening his arms wide. “In this yes.” she looked him over with a sympathetic feeling entering her. That much skin culture would deprive even Leia’s accounts. She didn’t think being an assassin was that profitable and that wasn’t accounting for sharing the cash with his other friends. “It hurts if that is what you want to know.” 

Rey opened and closed her mouth as he dropped his hands, almost looking a bit disappointed in her. “Well,” she straightened herself. “You deserve it for killing my family.” she shrugged. Rey couldn’t heal that much damage, but, she thought. Maybe she could block the pain of it. 

“You don’t care much do you?” She reached up touching the speeder. His comment could mean two things, either about himself or her family. Rey didn’t mourn them. She didn’t even really want to know who they really were, if her father was in fact a clone or not. She would admit knowing who her mother was, was something she wanted. She looked back to him and he grinned at her. “You haven’t tried to kill me yet.” her parents then. 

“As if I would grant you the pleasure Ren.” she snapped and huffed. “Now hop on so I can take you to your speeder.” She took a stance that said she was upset, although that seemed to melt away as he approached her. She shivered as he neared, she hated this. She had to hate this, she told herself. She hated him, she hated him. He touched the small of her back making her shiver, she was saved from her body trying to lean into him as he leaned towards her and inhaled her smell. Nose just barely brushing her temple. 

Rey quickly broke contact leaping on the speeder staring at him. He laughed easily leaping up behind her as she prevented a shudder as his body warmed hers. One arm was around her waist but that wasn’t distracting. His other hand went under her knee and squeezed. “Which way Ren?” she let out leaning back into him. To push him off she thought, though she could elbow his stomach and make it more than clear she didn’t want him touching her like that. She was glad when her speeder got to his fast. 

Ren however groped her again, fingers digging into her thigh as he slipped off nearly brushing against her rump. This was not happening. “Thank you.” she melted off more anger as his words felt genuine. Give a native here a ride and they would probably stab you along the way. Her eyes didn’t remain still on his head, instead tracking down his body. “Now just follow me.” This was not going to happen. Rey grimaced. Obviously he killed people here and with the long memory of outrage that Jakku natives have they left the speeder alone. The same mark that was on his helmet was obviously on it. He killed people, she told herself. He admitted to murdering her parents. 

Rey breathed out, looking away from the smug smile on his face. Following him was a second nature, she should veer off, run away. Should leap off and cut him to ribbons. She thought of the screams her parents must have made and felt nothing over it. He took her to an old arena she thought long since torn down. “Here?” he didn’t answer her as he went under one of the bleachers going to his camp. She took this moment to get used to the arena getting to know this place as she didn’t want to be caught off guard. 

“Ready?” he asked and she turned to him. She found she couldn’t entirely hate him. 

“Just a friendly spar?” Rey wet her lips. “I don’t want to kill you.” she felt his smile. 

“Yes. Unless you can kill me.” he answered. Rey scowled, opening and closing her mouth. He lit his saber before she could tell him she didn’t want him dead. It was a red color, and she didn’t feel like she expected it to be. Harvested from a long ago jedi maybe, but not one that was the synthetic red crystals. Rey stepped back and grabbed her own saber firing it on. She wanted to pull off the other half, and connect it to fire off it as a staff. Feeling like she wanted to impress him, however. 

“Ready?” he asked jarring her out of the thought. She paced opposite to him wondering if he wanted her to attack. He was on her, quickly. She blocked, and attacked against him getting him to back off enough to try to knock him down with the force. She pulled at the force as he backed away and shoved. He didn’t move but she felt it, it was like he struck down the push in half and blocked it from even touching him. Two large pillars around him shook, chains rattling as she gaped to him a bit breathless. “How did you do that?” she asked and saw him smirk not answering her. An eyebrow raised as she paced, getting angry. Did he want to try to be her teacher or not? “Fine.” She closed on him but he didn’t shove her away as the two sabers hissed at each other. “Keep your secrets.” 

That was when he shoved her himself with the force. Rey didn’t have any time to attempt to block in, instead tumbling head over heels backwards. Her saber hissing off. He barely let her have time to rise before he was trying to strike at her again. Rey rolled not away but into him, intending to try to cause him to trip. Instead he lept up, clearing her. Rey turned the saber on, and sliced off a part of his cloak, as he passed. 

He turned to her as she caught the end, and shoved it into her clothes in the vee of her robes. He grinned, and she attacked him. Growing more angry at him, as he just played defensive. He could over power her, he could get, Rey huffed out. Drawing back to get her breath, but he struck out. Having slowly circled her around the arena her back was pressed near one of the pillars. Rey thought it might have been a force push, but as her hands were locked up uselessly over her head she realized he had pinned her with the force. 

Rey fought against his will, trying to break free quickly. He stayed still long enough for her to know had he been serious she would be dead now. A small twirl of the saber utterly confirmed it as he neared her. A old anger surfaced and she broke free with a snap. What little she cared for not fighting to the death was blasted out of her head. Rey made an overhead chop when she came to, watching as small electric spindles raced over Ren’s body. 

She shut the saber off, and he ducked, just barely avoiding her as she turned the saber back on, to kill him. He tackled her, grabbing her saber arm in the process forcing her back. Her back hit the pillar and she punched him with her free arm. Rey struggled against him trying to kick him as he calmly pinned her other arm high above her head. He put a leg between hers, then dropped one arm, pulled off his helmet. Rey snapped her head towards him and opened her mouth to snap an angry word or twelve at him. 

He crushed his face to hers, and it was the pain of her lip splitting that finally brought her mind fully back to her. She panted as he continued the kiss her body gave a whole shudder and that warmth when she allowed herself the weakness of examining him came back. She moaned, her hips racted on their own running along his thigh that she knew was purposefully there for that purpose now. Not to protect his flattery. He nipped her lip, gently, letting go of his hold. Rey dropped her saber and lowered her hands to his shoulders fisting in his cloak. 

“Oh.” she mumbled quietly. She felt his lips split into a smile as he waited, Rey blinked at herself. 

“Yes.” He was waiting for her to move, to either tell him to fuck off, or rather...Rey leaned forwards and pecked him. She hadn’t ever even tried to kiss someone before this. Glad that he let her kiss him, tiny little things along his jaw and lips as his hands roughly pulled off her belt tossing it away. She was glad that he was giving her a moment to get used to the idea, as he yanked out her shirt and touched her stomach. 

She shivered the skin of his hands was well calloused as he brushed upwards. Cupping her breast and seeming pleased by the lack of underclothes, or maybe by her choice of modesty covering. She dug her nails into his shoulders, feeling some of his skin that wasn’t covered by the exosuit. Lifting his knee brought another moan from her as he continued to grope her. She bit at his chin, not enough to break the skin, but it made him smile. “Good.” he praised. 

He ripped her shirt open and she gasped in at the sudden chill and more so the utter implications of just what she was about to do. She leaned down resting her head on his shoulder as he paused. “Rey?” he was waiting for her to consent further. 

“Not how I imagined…” she paused to swallow. “My first time.” he smiled at her almost looking proud. One of his hands roamed down to her ass and cupped it, while the other ran up to her breast. Slipping under the loose band to actually touch her. Playing with the hard nipple until it grew painfully sensitive. He slipped his hand to her back and flicked the band off. There was a single second of that, before he roughly threw her to the ground. 

Rey gasped out as she stared up at him and his smirk. “Off with the clothes little empress.” he told her and she scowled at him as he undressed. When with a flick of the force unlatched his shoes she scrambled to get undressed herself. Sliding off almost all her clothes as she hid her chest. He knelt down by her not touching her as he took time to look her over. Maybe he was waiting again for confirmation, due to her age maybe. 

“I…ummm…” she swallowed nervously. “Yes.” He leaned over her and kissed her chin. “I want this.” He was smug as he smiled leaning down to speak into her hair. 

“Thank you.” Rey wanted to scowl but blushed instead. One of his hands brushed up her side and she let out a breath as his hand brushed against her finger tips. “Will you let me see you?” Rey looked at him as she slowly peeled her arm away from her chest supporting herself on her elbows. He stared down at her as if she was a real beauty, making her want to squirm. His hand went to her back supporting her as he kissed down her neck. 

One of her hands went to his hair running through it as he used his teeth just as much as he used his lips against her skin. Getting to her breasts he moved and teased the already hard nipple. “Hell, fuck, damnit.” she mumbled and felt a small wave of the force out. Ignoring it as he moved down, dropping his hand down to her hip and kissing her navel. The implication was clear to her making her hands fist on either side of her. His fingers slid under the hem as he looked back up at her. 

“I wont promise I will be gentle.” she smiled an insane feeling inside of her. Sex was supposed to be gentle, but it wasn’t something she wanted. Not horrible things. She didn’t even really think about sex until she met him. He ripped off her underwear with a jerk, looking both at the material and her. A nervous energy filled her, she wasn’t even sure this was a part of lovemaking. Luke only felt that those that sought it out should be educated on it. 

“Ren?” One hand touched her stomach, and the other gripped her hip hard. Instead of answering he licked her. The odd sensation almost had her yelp as she scrambled, trying to move away from it. He had her pinned and didn’t stop. He chuckled as she tried to move away and the strangest feeling came through her as he sucked on her clit. “Stay still.” the word went through her. Rey forced herself to stay calm, and most definitely a part of her liked being told to stay still. 

A fantasy of being tormented like this had played out in her head over and over again. It was like she hadn’t ever considered anything else as he guided her upwards. Rey let out a scream as she came, feeling her body spasm and making twitchy aftershocks. She didn’t want to feel it, but as she looked down at him she felt disappointed. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good, but maybe she didn’t want to feel good. 

“Ah.” he seemed to learn something as he moved, sitting up and licking his lips. “Are you ready?” 

“Fuck you.” he chuckled at her not expecting anything else from her. When he pushed his pants down she was half afraid of it. Other than anatomy classes she hadn’t even so much as glanced at anyone. It looked massive, and she pushed herself up on her elbows nervous as she hunched and glared. “That thing will split me in half you know.” 

“Oh please.” she blushed as he reached out grabbing her hips. “Don’t be dramatic.” when he slid her against him she groaned. Still sensitive, it wasn’t exactly a pleasure. 

“I don’t, Ren I….” she huffed as he rubbed against her. It was a hard and awkward feeling against her. She felt a shiver, stopping the protests. Don’t be dramatic was just another way to say stop acting like a child. Part of her felt fascinated though when the tip weeped a viscous liquid. It was when this dripped down to her, that he finally actually lined himself up. Gripping her hips hard as he pressed his tip into her. 

It was a kind of agony, as he impaled her. Rey could swear she felt her body tearing apart, she was blank as he leaned over her when their hips met. Her stomach fluttered given a moment to take in this fact, he kissed her cheek like he was waiting. “GO-” she was cut off as he pulled out and thrust back in. She hissed, and gasped in unable to say anything else than take the ride he provided her. It was a hard pace, and a particular fear entered into her as he put his thumb back onto her clit. 

It was that alone, just a tiny little rub to make her come with a scream. It didn’t feel good, her body racked with a pain that raced through her. It was only the light pleasure that kept it from being so horrible that it left her shaking in the aftermath. Holding onto his shoulders with a slight taste of blood in her mouth without even noticing she had bit him. Barely feeling him climax inside of her without a single bit of regret. He laid down beside her, supporting himself with one elbow for a moment looking over her before going onto his back beside her. 

She side eyed him, he had taken the liberty to get as fully naked as her as they stared up at the starlight. It would take at least another two hours for the cold to set in leaving her to smile. Rey wondered if this would have been the same time and place she lost this part of herself if she had taken his hand. Rey was unsure of one talked a lot post coitus. “That was… good.” she admitted. Though again it was just a little disappointing, but she knew telling him that wouldn’t be right. 

“I guess you and I are not compatible.” he replied, making her look at him. “I wouldn’t deny you pleasure Rey.” she flushed, more out of embarrassment at how easily read she was. “That is not not how I do things to my women.” she felt a bubble of what felt like an insane joy. She found she enjoyed his laugh as he joined her. It should be crazy, talking about sex with a dark lord while she tried to find a semblance of purity. 

“Sorry… if that wasn’t good for you.” she told him and he moved quickly placing a hand on her stomach. Reminding her that she would need to go to Jakku and seek out a preventive. Have to go to Voe the newly appointed medical officer and master jedi before Rey. At least it made Voe happy and longer seeking Rey personally out to torment her with constant judgng herself up to Rey.

“Rey,” she looked at him as he smiled down at her. “You are beautiful and wonderful.” he kissed her, his voice low and soothing. She wasn’t prepared however for what he said next. “Will you come with me?” Rey tensed grabbing his hand on her stomach. A particular fear running through her. Ben. She couldn’t leave him there. 

“Not without Ben. I can’t leave him.” he sighed and kissed her again. Maybe he expected it of her, but she could not leave him in Luke’s ‘good’ graces. She wouldn’t. Getting him off and away with her like the first time her and Ren met was like pulling out teeth from a bantha. Ben should be allowed off world, to explore and see the whole of the galaxy. After spending so much time, almost his whole life in that tower. 

“When will you be missed?” She took a moment to shove those thoughts away. 

“I’m not due till morning.” Rey told him and scowled looking down at herself. It was just getting chilly. “You owe me clothes.” 

“I know. I have a set for you.” he stood with a smile offering her his hand. 

“You have clothes that will fit me?” his smile turned into a smirk. “Cocky asshole.” Instead of sniping back with her he drew her under large bleachers to where he had hid his ship. 

“Wash. I’ll go pick up.” she blushed and headed in quickly, rather than wander around naked, or watch him do the same. Though there was water settings on the shower she used the sonics, shivering as she came out finding a box labeled with her name. Rey scowled at it, but it at least held not just a single set of clothes but three. She felt oddly touched as she dressed. 

All the same as her regular outfit say for a black sash that she wound around her body in a ‘x’ pattern over her chest. Her belt was still outside so she peeked her head out. Almost sad he choose to get dressed as she patted over to him. He handed her over her saber first, showing more trust in her than Luke might have. “You?” she thumbed the ship. 

There was that odd flattering feeling again as he gave a small headshake and sat down. She sat down next to him, wanting to feel close. She barely noticed his helmet settled down opposite to them as she leaned into him. A small ache reminded her of just what did happen a few moments ago. “Eugh. Procuring a-” she dropped off as he handed her a small injector. “Oh.” he grinned. 

“I thought of everything Rey. You are too young to have children.” she injected it into her thigh without a single thought. She blinked only once realizing she trusted him, in the same way she trusted Ben. She tossed the injector, using a tiny bit of the force to get it to vanish from sight. 

“Thank you.” he wrapped his arm around her, closing his eyes as he did so. 

“I am jealous.” she nodded staring at him as he opened his eyes. “Of the man that will tame you fully.” Another blush took her cheeks as he held his hand out. Rey didn’t know if she could do it, licking her lips. She put her hand on his chest and she felt the first bit of confusion from him. He was more well guarded in his thoughts than Luke. She concentrated. ‘Let me help him’ she thought. The force obeyed her whim spreading out from her touch. 

She drew her hand back staring down at his navel. “I thought you might not want to be in pain all the time.” she told him. He pulled her closer so that their hips were touching and slid his hand over her stomach. Dipping down into her pants, making her hitch her breath in as he touched her. “Ren?” she wasn’t sure if she was ready for another round. 

“Suuush.” she smiled moving so she could press her back into him and opened her legs so he had easier access. He didn’t do it with the intent of bringing her pleasure. She yawned and allowed the delicious feeling to lull her down into sleep. It was the first night without a single nightmare that she had in a long time. When she woke, he was sitting down in by her an it wasn’t on a ship. 

She felt a sense of disapointmentalmost expecting to be on the ship. She stretched, wanting to reach out to him. “I’ll ask again Rey.” she frowned. “Stay with me.” she sat down as he handed her what he had been doing, making a meal. “We can go get Ben.” he added as she ate. She thought about it, and knew it would be easy. Ben would follow, he would go with her. She’d have the family he never truly had. 

“I don’t want to force him away Ren. He deserves a choice.” Eventually she knew. It felt inevitable to fall to the dark. It was much more part of her than the light. The Balance knew it was a part of her, to deny it was like denying her own hands from existing. She ate in silence as he thought, then reached out for her standing.

She let him pull her up and he kissed the top of her head. “Next time then.” he spoke into her hair. 

“Next time?” she demanded making him smile. “This was a-” he silenced her with a kiss. His hands moved down sliding her pants down quickly without the belt. “hey -” he kissed her again. Roughly tossing her to the ground. “You are-” he knelt by her grabbing her hips. “Mff…” 

“Mff?” he copied. 

“Shut it you fucking bastard.” she blushed rearing up on her elbows to kiss him. The preventive injection would work for at least a week she knew. He slid his arms around her, as she wiggled her pants off. The only thing that he didn’t provide was undergarments, which she assumed was because of this. Though maybe it was more of a personal thing. Settled down into a sitting position Rey blushed as a hand ran down her back. 

“Like this?” she asked him, making him chuckle. 

“Unless you prefer it on the ship.” he added. She blushed letting him arrange their bodies with his flattery, pretty flattering indeed, ready for her. While there was an ache, a stretch of pain this time she felt more than just the hot hiss of tearing skin. His hands gripped her thighs and rump as he slid her up and down. This time her hips moved on their own rolling in time with his thrusts. It happened quickly she thought, with the position, and feeling him climax inside of her. This was a lot more satisfying then that time without going through the same herself. 

“Fresher?” he asked her, she scowled at him as she rearranged her clothes. Finding her belt and sliding the saber onto it. 

“No I prefer to smell like a sweaty flatterer.” he laughed. “Stop trying to get me on your ship.” he bowed in half. 

“Never.” she laughed. She moved to her speeder as he walked with her. “I’ll see you never Ren.” she winced as hiking her leg over the machine caused a stab of pain. He looked smug as he stood by her. “Don’t flatter yourself.” 

“I will several times.” he bowed his head. “Till next time then little empress.” she straightened herself and looked down at him. She wanted to say never, to tell him never again. But knew he would find new and interesting ways to worm into her life. Leaving him, leaving someone that truly wanted her was one of the hardest things she ever did. But Ben was waiting for her back there, and her loyalty was to him first. 

“Wow, new clothes?” Poe asked her as she got onto the ship. She had a deposit for the speeder returning it in excellent condition. However she didn’t ask for it, and didn’t get it back. She wasn’t that much miffed by it. More money into this planet meant a lot. He looked her over and frowned. “You were supposed to be back before dark.” 

“Are you really going to attack me for wanting to spend time with the only person I can call dad?” she asked back quickly. Poe opened and closed his mouth going completely silent. “Well?” 

“Never mind.” he went to the cockpit. Rey snorted and settled in for the short time it would be to Luke’s home. She looked back towards Jakku even though she could not see it. She missed him, she missed the bastard. Not having to pretend to be nice was a wonderful feeling. Someone that wouldn’t be insulted if she called them a bastard. Who at least knew what she meant when she referred to the genitals how Jakku referred to them. Flattery, since it was flattering anyone could find anyone attractive there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want you to ask yourself why Rey would have sex with him. Keep that in mind.


	14. Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a gift, and Ben teases her about it.

Rey chuckled as a lot of the other kids raced for the daily mail drop off. Most of them contact their families daily, but several would receive gifts, packages, and such from around the galaxy. Whether from buying it, or a gift from family everyone was excited when the mail drone arrived. "I think… my family may have sent something to me." Ben said softly and Rey made up a small smile. 

Another birthday had come and gone for Ben without a single trace of his parents other than a hastily done message. Not even a live chat. "We can go see if you want." Ben frowned, but nodded walking with her to the drop off. A set of twin bothans raced past her sporting two brand new sashes. 

An older man carried a stack of old data keys, likely having bought them at a market. Whether or not they were for the academy was another matter Rey ignored. Stuff dwindled and the crowd thinned as most of it was supplies. "Is there something for Ben Solo?" He asked one of the droids. They were unpacking a large crate of planting mediums. Luke wanted to make a garden and have it tended to by all of them. 

Self sufficient. Getting to the point where they didn't need any supply drops. The droid shook its head and Rey put her hand on Ben's back. He was grimacing, looking down and away. A lot of the crops were taken out to the fields, if they could keep students they’d not need droids. Until then maybe there would be turns for the farms. Only one remained after all the boxes had disappeared leaving Ben to frown at it. 

“Just who’s is that?” Ben asked, the droid was preparing to head towards one of the few humans that took care of what leftover mail there would be. 

“It is for Rey from Sor Lan Tekka of Jakku.” Rey froze blinking as Ben swiveled his head to her and smiled. Whatever hurt quickly gone. 

“You got a present.” she blinked and shook her head. 

“No, there has to be a mistake.” Rey offered up her arm to the droid, and it scanned a bracelet, it beeped, and it settled the torso sized box down in front of her. Leaving quickly as she ignored the smug Ben beside her. “I got a box.” 

“A present.” Ben said. Rey did not get anything. What little Han and Leia got her was always sent through Ben’s name. Tekka never sent anything, and on rare occasions would send updates for his village. One of the reasons why she had thought to buy him a moisture farm. The last communication had said his aquifers weren’t replishing just as fast as the last years. So she asked Luke to help. “Well open it!” Rey blinked, shaking her head. 

“Okay.” she smiled and peeled up the top seeing a black cloth on top. Rey tilted her head excitedly, wearing down for just-Ben snagged it and she watched as he pulled out a long black cloak. 

“Wow, what is this exactly?” She looked down and blanched. Slamming her hands over the top of the box at what was inside, and hidden by the cloak. 

“I don’t know.” she shuddered as he gave her a look. A flush rushed into her cheeks. 

“Oh, did a boyfriend send something through Tekka?” Ben asked, nailing her on the head with the cloak as he tossed it. 

“BEN!” she pulled it down off her as he laughed at her. “Not a boyfriend.” 

“You have another friend?” he teased and she frantically shoved the cloak back into the box hiding the rest of the things. 

“Yes.” she breathed out and calmed herself. “I met… him on Jakku.” 

“So what’s his name?” Rey blanched and looked away not seeing a confused look on Ben’s face as she grasped for any name he might not find suspicious. 

“Kylo.” she answered. 

“And did you have fun?” Ben led, smiling and leaning towards her. Rey blushed further and hunched protectively over the torso sized box. She did not want Ben to see anything inside of it. She would have more than just a tiny bit of explaining to do. Leia might kill her if he saw it and that was saying something. 

“YES!” Ben laughed a little. “Ben! Please.” she tilted her head a little. 

“Sorry for teasing you.” he told her and held out his hand. Rey took it and nodded, quickly sitting on the box. Ben looked a little disappointed.

“I know your tricks Ben.” she told him and smiled. 

“Well be sure to tell me what you got.” she froze and Ben only looked smug as she panicked inside, there was no real way she could tell him. It was just laid there, and it was on TOP of everything under the cloak. 

“I’m going to kill him.” she mumbled as Ben left in a far better mood than when they had arrived. “I am going to kill him.” she stated again and shut the box. She wondered if the incinerator was working, or if she would have to repair it again. “Fuck you Ren.” she looked around and used the force to float the box beside her, walking not to her bunk, but to Luke. If she was actually going to open it she was not going to actually do so where anyone would look at it. Trying to calm herself the way before didn’t work, and she held a panic as she got closer to him over seeing the placements of the crops. He wanted a subtle geometric design so that when transports dropped them on or off the planet it would look nice. 

“LUKE?” her voice came out sharp, and he dropped the small data pad he had in his hands. “OH! Sorry!” she called as he picked it up and tried not to put her hands to her face. 

“Rey? What’s wrong? What’s that? Is Ben okay?” Luke asked rapidly. Rey took a steadying breath. 

“I-need-my-own-place-now-please.” she said in a rush. Luke blinked. 

“You want your own home?” he questioned. Rey nodded, Luke wasn’t even looking at the package and she felt a little relief from him and herself. 

“Yes please. I’m well old enough to live a bit apart from the rest. I want some privacy.” Luke cast a glance to the package and she hid it behind her hunching her shoulders. 

“Oh. I see.” he tapped the data pad and frowned over it. Tapping it for more than a minute he shut it off and smiled at her. “Done. A droid will be transferring everything with your tag, it's up to you to get the things you haven’t tagged.” Rey breathed out in relief as he smiled at her. “Really Rey?” he gestured to her back. 

“It wasn’t me!” she squealed out. 

“What happened?” She let the box float down shifting nervously. “Would you prefer Voe asking?” 

“Yes for the love of everything Luke.” he laughed at her and she put both her hands to her face. “I am so sorry.” she said for good measure.

“Rey don’t be, there is nothing to be ashamed of, did you use protection?” 

“LUKE!” Rey yelled to him. “Please.” He nodded and made a conciliatory bow to her. He left her there as she took a long moment to calm herself. Voe came quickly, smiling at Rey. “Hey… Voe.” Rey mumbled and stood shaking her hand. 

“Rey. Luke tells me that you need to talk to me.” Rey blushed and nodded. “Come this way,” Rey gave Luke a look as she floated the box behind her. He just gave a very Luke shrug. She led Rey into a small medical office and Rey gave a groan settling down on the edge of the bed. She placed the box in a corner as Voe settled into a chair smiling at Rey. “Well?” 

“I uhh… had sex.” Rey said quietly. Voe nodded waiting, Rey was not forthcoming. 

“Rey, did you use protection?” Voe prompted. She put her hands to her face. “It's not that embarrassing Rey!” 

“But it is!” Rey yelled out from her hands. 

“Okay, okay, here. Let me take a blood sample.” Rey kept one hand to her face and offered her arm. Voe had the sample quickly, placing it into a small machine that would see if Ren had anything. Rey felt more shame at not even thinking about anything of the matter. He wouldn’t have done it if he had she felt. “Did you get a preventative?” Voe asked. 

“Yes, he had one.” Rey finally dropped her hand as Voe smiled. 

“How thoughtful.” Rey blushed looking down. “So it was a man?” 

“Yes?” Voe gave a small chuckle. 

“Feeling discomfort?” 

“Not anymore.” 

“Oh.” Rey looked up at her and then back down. “Is that from him?” Voe asked, gesturing to the box. Rey panicked, Voe caught her arm before Rey could flee with the box. “REY! Stop, it's okay. I mean it, it's okay.” Rey hesitated, then took her seat back. “Really, it's okay.” 

“I just… he… AHG!” Voe gave a small laugh as Rey clenched her face. 

“Poe?” Voe asked and Rey shook her head. “Oh good. He is just looking for marks on his belt.” Rey groaned. “Someone on Jakku then.” 

“Why do you want to know?!” Rey snapped. Voe was so startled that she rocked back her face going slack from shock. “You don’t NEED to know who I…” Rey held her hands up making a few random gestures. “You know.” Rey hugged herself. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed.” Voe tried to soothe. “It’s just, we are friends aren’t we?” 

“I guess.” Voe pressed her lips together. “Yes.” 

“This is what friends talk about sometimes.” Voe explained as if Rey was stupid, Rey looked away from her. “If you are so adamant about staying silent about it then I won’t press.” 

“Please don't.” 

“Rey, was he nice? The way you are acting…” Rey groaned. 

“Do you even THINK I would ever LET that happen to me?” Rey demanded. “I would be able to KILL someone before they even thought to touch me!” Voe held up her hands trying to placate Rey down. “He was nice.” Rey hugged herself again. If Poe hadn’t been waiting for her, Rey was partly sure that she might have taken Ren on his offer. She’d go get Ben, and then there would never have been another disappointing Birthday. That is what she told herself anyways, the real truth was she truly wished he had just taken her. 

“Alright.” Voe stood and went to the machine, it beeped a few times and Rey licked her lips waiting. “You are clear. I suggest a check, but-” Voe didn’t get to finish Rey was off. What little stress there was about that was gone, she didn’t even think about any kind of transmitted disease at all. Running off she got to the few private huts, built of all local materials she glanced around. Going to random ones, most of them were empty, and she found her things inside one. She shivered in relief and floated the box into it. 

Getting a lock for her door was the next step, and blocking the window. She didn’t want any chance of anyone ever seeing her once inside. Rey cast her senses out, making sure no one was near at the moment and slumped into the stiff bed with relief. “You just had to Ren.” she mumbled and put both her hands to her face. The utter bastard, she was going to kill him the next time she saw him. It was embarrassing, not that she had sex. But had it with him of all people she could muster to do the deed. Even some random drunk on Jakku might have been better. Rey was more than sure that having sex with a lord of the sith, of someone from the darkness, was more than just a bit bad. Not a single person here would understand why, why she would do it. 

Rey went to the box after she had calmed herself just a bit more and removed the long cloak. That wasn’t bad, black was like any other color after all. Luke wore it on occasion. But what was laid there, right under the cloak and right there likely to embarrass her was a synthetic. She didn’t utterly get a good hard lingering look at him, but she was sure it had been made to order for him. The surety came from the smears of fake blood along the shaft of the synthetic. Rey poked it, and grimaced. It was a high quality one at that, feeling and giving a lot like real flesh. 

“You pervert.” she mumbled and gingerly picked it up. Wrapping it up in the cloak she set it aside going down to the next level. A compacted body pillow, blank but the image on it, which was on a small sheet with the compacted thing made her hold her hands out, fisting them in anger. “I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.” Of course, of course he would take images of himself naked, and she was now sure that the synthetic was a copy of him. Tossing the compacted pillow did nothing else than pop it open right on her bed. Rey scowled to it, then back to the box stalling. 

A small palm sized datapad, along with a connected holoprojector. A few cubes labeled with things like ‘a night in the fields of Naboo’ that would go in a slot in the handheld, or the projector. All with their own rechargeable cables. Rey knew exactly what they were once she found one of them. ‘Caught in the Empire’s grasp’ was one of the few things that nearly everyone knew about. Stemming from what could be propaganda, or just people who craved for the ‘stability’ of the empire. While it wasn’t explicit at least in the holovids she and some of the trainee’s watched when Luke was away. 

This however promised to be explicit, and all of the other tiny datacubes now took on a whole new meeting. “Pervert, bastard, vile,” she mumbled, where was she going to put them? Rey sighed and settled down having them all just under the bed. The synthetic came with its own case that could be transparent or not, she chose opaque. A laugh bubbled out through her as she relaxed, no one was the wiser at least mostly. Voe could be suspicious, but the only thing Ben saw at the least was the cloak. 

She wondered if he wore it before he sent it, but a sniff test said only of fresh cloth. Rey folded it carefully, she wasn’t going to just toss it. Instead it went into her clothes chest. She was just happy she thought as she smiled sitting down on her bed that no one seemed to notice just what exactly she had gotten. Oh they could assume it was a gift from her recent lover, going to Tekka to forward it. But they didn’t know the whole truth aside from the cloak. 

She poked at the body pillow, but it didn’t reveal its image, it might take her actually hugging the damned thing. Rey debated on burning it, trashing it, or hiding it in a sheet. She chose the last, one didn’t waste things on Jakku, besides that. She thought that Ren might enjoy her burning it more so than he enjoyed her keeping it. A laugh bubbled out of her, even here she can have a least a little of him. Rey loved him. As much as she could love anyone. “I’m going to kill you the next time I see you.” she told the air shaking her head.

But it was a reminder too, all these things. It would be easy to leave and there was only one who would miss her.  _ ‘Rey?’ _ Ben asked in her head. 

_ ‘Yes? _ ’ she was glad that she hadn’t even thought about watching, or using anything he sent her. 

_ ‘Why is Master Baytas so boring?’ _ she grinned. 

_ ‘His master was Yoda, and Yoda was only fun after the fall from what I understand.’ _ she felt his amusement.  _ ‘He died about two weeks after he made his holocron if you want to know.’  _

_ ‘Figures. Yoda never made any?’ _

_ ‘Oh he did, but the emperor destroyed them. We have records of it, he did it himself in fact. _ ’ Ben waited a long moment listening to the lecture. 

_ ‘Has that much really been lost?’  _

_ ‘Yes.’ _ Rey looked up at the ceiling.  _ ‘Sadly yes. I think personally that he didn’t destroy Yoda’s programs.’  _

_ ‘What?! Then where are they?’ _ Rey barely remembered it. She was two when she left that planet. But one of her earliest memories was of a room full of glowing things, both red and blue. Now that she was an adult, and knew more she knew it was a room full of holocrons. 

_ ‘Some dumb planet of his. Maybe where the Death Star landed.’ _ she told him. 

_ ‘We need to mount an expedition!’ _ she shook her head. 

‘ _ That is in First Order Territory. _ ’ he went silent. 

_ ‘It could be a small one.’ _ she grinned. 

_ ‘Luke would never allow it. I can try to bring it up to him, but I know he wouldn’t do it.’  _

_ ‘Figures.’ _ Ben retreated from her mind and she stood stretching herself. She had given up on trying to go to the trial. She might as well call herself a master. Luke’s postponing, begging, asking, and more had just had her ignore the damned thing. She didn’t need some stupid trial to tell her she was a master. Old stupid rituals, if she asked the Balance she was sure he, it, her, wherever it was exactly on the spectrum, she was. Sadly she didn’t have a ship to do so. Even Ren could declare her a master, though that might entail murdering him. A thought that sent disgusted shivers through her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you hear me cackling? CAUSE I AM FREAKING LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. I love Master Baytas.  
> *laughs like Jabba the hut*


	15. Slavery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets with Luke about something that can finally possibly end the cold war the First Order and the Senate have been having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What comes next is what all the abuse warnings are about. Keep in mind that this guy is a bad guy even before hand.

It seemed to close to her, when Luke called her and four others into his office with him. Voe, her, and two other female Jedi. One a twi’lek with dark blue skin. He seemed stressed as he settled down in his chair. “There is some… not so good news.” 

“Master Luke why are all of us here?” asked Voe. He put his hand to his face. 

“Do you know of the Solari?” he asked them. Rey shook her head despite the nods of everyone else. They all looked to her as she looked down. “Rey.” he sighed and put his hands to his face. “You’ve been skipping almost everything haven’t you?” she didn’t look up. “Of course.” 

“What does it matter?” despite the few snickers of the other girls the room went silent. “I don’t need to know these things if I am not ever going to be a master Jedi.” She looked up to Luke and he looked away from her. 

“You are so disrespectful.” Voe mumbled. 

“Solari is a weapons manufacturer who owns at least twenty planets. His family is older than even the Alderaan nobels, older than even Naboo ones too. They say they date back all the way to the Travelers.” he explained to her. The rest looked bored. “Now, Vandorack Solari has put into the galaxy he is of marriage age.” 

“Oh.” the twil’lek mumbled. “I believe you wish us to marry him?” she gestured to all of them. 

“No Aleana!” she nodded. “He can take concubines… but…” he sighed. “If he marries one of you, he can’t by his peoples laws sell to the First Order. This would land a crippling blow to them.” 

“What does this even matter?” Rey asked him. They all looked to her again. “You can’t force him to marry someone.” 

“Rey, his people hold a fighting competition. You’d know this if you actually paid attention and went to classes.” Luke told her. She flushed and looked away. “This is what we are going to do, his specifications are that you four are genetically compatible for him.” 

“Am I really?” Luke looked to her again. “You have my genetics on file?” she asked. 

“Yes, we don’t have records of anyone else tied to you.” she let out a breath. “If that is what you want to know. They will do their own test when you get there, but his profile is out there. So that the compatibles can compare the genetics and see how the kids will look.” the twi’lek grinned. 

“So, you wish us to fight for him?” Luke nodded to Voe. 

“We know the First Order will be sending their own, but I have faith one of you will succeed.” he looked to Voe. “I know this is a sacrifice, but I am asking all of you to make it.” The three stood bowing. Rey stayed still as Luke looked to her. 

“What if I say no?” she asked as they gaped to her. Like it would ever occur to them to say no to Luke. 

“Then you don’t do it.” Rey stood debating. She should just walk out. 

“If I win does that mean it is a trial?” Luke sighed. 

“Yes fine.” he waved. “I can declare you a master right now Rey.” she shook her head. “The tr-” 

“Are you going to let me do it?” she asked cutting him off. Luke looked down and shook his head. “That is what I thought. I’ll do this, and win.” 

“You can’t know you will win.” Voe told her. Rey tilted her chin up and looked to Voe. 

“I do know.” 

“It's best not to be overconfident Rey.” Luke reminded her. 

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Luke was blank as he stared at her. He said it often when students were struggling. It seemed to help, most of the time. She bowed in half and left them all in his office. So that was it, Luke was going to sell her. Just like a slave. Rey felt angry, and didn’t try to hide it as she stomped away. She found herself in the hanger, knowing she could get out and away. None of the ships were locked, she could take one and leave. Instead she went to the library to familiarize herself with the marriage customs of the Solari. 

It took one full day for Luke to come by her and in all that time she didn’t hide that she was angry. He settled by her quietly as she read a datapad detailing the ‘competition’ of marriage. Apparently the men were supposed to be weak, and their women were warriors. Or something akin to that. She was meant to be at his side always to protect him as his personal guard. He could have concubines, while she could not. It wasn’t fascinating, it left her feeling more angry as she ignored Luke. 

“I would guess this brings up bad memories.” he hedged to her. She looked at him as if it were obvious. “I am counting on you Rey.” she scowled. “I know that the rest can possibly win, but…” he sighed and looked at her. “It's you that I know will win.” 

“You expect me to win?” she shook her head. “Or want me to?” 

“I know. Rey. I know you will win if you are there.” he repeated. “When the genetics matched up to be good with him I knew I had to ask you. Because,” he paused and looked at her. “I trust you. And I know that you will do the right thing in the end.” 

“I don’t want to.” the words came out before she could stop them. “I don’t want to do this.” 

“I’m sorry, but this might be a truly bloodless way to stop what is left of the empire.” Rey melted a little. “You know, I hated having to destroy that thing.” she swallowed, folding her legs under her as she listened. “I felt those people die, but I couldn’t sit there and tell myself then that they didn’t deserve it.” He stayed silent for a moment. “Right now Rey, there are children being trained almost since birth, some from birth. They had been doing this ever since they gained power. Those people there, they didn’t have a choice.” 

“And?” she asked. 

“Neither did I.” she looked at him and away quickly. “This isn’t something I ever wanted. To never have a choice in these matters.” Rey knew she had a choice. She had someone she could go to. “But with you, you might be able to bring peace to the galaxy.” She shuddered. “When you win, the Solari can’t sell to them anymore. This would cripple them, this would cause them to have to negotiate.” 

“It wouldn’t…” she mumbled and stopped. 

“I don’t want war Rey. So many of you kids were raised in the aftermath. You don’t know what it's like to feel thousands of people dying all at once. Not even thousands… millions of lives.” he reached out and touched her shoulder. “You Rey, I’m counting on. You are the one I know can bring peace.” she gaped at him. “Just with this, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself or a million lives or more. Don’t you think that is a better thing to ask for?” 

“I already decided to do it.” she mumbled quietly, not looking at him. Her anger was deflated, Luke was finally more earnest. It was a small sacrifice all in all. 

“Thank you.” she didn’t look at him as he stood. “I am sorry that you have to do this.” she still didn’t look as he left. The weight of the whole galaxy seemed to settle on her shoulders. She hugged herself but didn’t sob and cry. That anger melted away, sadness flooded in. Luke could count on anyone else, she thought. But he had to count on her. He had to foist the weight of freedom onto her shoulders. 

“I just wanted a family.” she told herself. But now she was more than a full adult. The sole thing she ever wanted was denied to her over and over again. It was too late to ask for something she wanted to have. A father, mother, maybe a sibling who cared about her. Now she was going to be marrying a man who would only see her as a guard. It wasn’t fully expected of her to produce a child there were concubines for that. But she was going to be nothing else than a guard, a nothing even in marriage. 

She perked her head up when someone settled down right by her. Ben frowned as she made a smile for him. “Are you okay?” he asked her. 

“I wish I was.” she answered. 

“I heard… what you have to do.” Luke had given her a choice, but he didn’t really. Her choice was either do this or face that she might doom the entire galaxy in his eyes. Maybe it would be doomed, maybe not. But war would be more than likely. “We could leave!” he supplied and she raised her arm to hug him. 

“And Run? Ben, you can’t hide from war.” he looked down. “It will be okay. I don’t like it, but it will be okay.” 

“I can fight! War isn’t that bad, you said I… I could do...that.” Rey moved away from him. 

“I shouldn’t have told you about it Ben.” he looked hurt. “I wish I hadn’t.” 

“But, I can.” he asserted. 

“Ben, I don’t want a world where you have to kill people.” he looked down. “If I can make that without the vision coming true then so be it.” 

“You don’t want to do this though.” 

“Tell me about it. I’d like to run. But I don’t have this choice anymore.” he nodded and settled by her again. “Sometimes fighting isn’t how things should be. Ben. That’s what all the adults are doing. Trying as hard as they can not to have war.” he offered a sad smile. “I just wish it wasn’t up to me.” 

“Me too. I’m going to miss you.” she hugged him smiling. 

“I’ll miss you too.” she kissed his cheek. “Now, you can help me understand this Solari custom.” he scowled to her. “Apparently I’m supposed to fight in a wedding dress? Why?” Ben laughed and she joined him although she didn’t feel a shred of happiness. She wondered if she would feel joy when she married the man. Or just the tightening rope of expectations. She hoped to have just freed Ben from the one she had placed on him at the least. 


	16. The Fray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets into the fray of the marriage custom and is baffled by the fact that trying to be plain, and not having large amounts of fancy work is exactly why she stands out.

Rey didn't want to be on cloud city, least of all with Poe and Voe. The two seemed all to eager to put her up on a plate and serve her up. "We'll need to head out to one of the clinics there in this district." Voe told her. Rey didn't look at her. "It was just the one time right?" 

"Yes." Rey wanted to snap but she sighed instead. Tired. Luke declared a master, providing the same exit ceremony as everyone else had went through. Ben was excited for her. But she could only think it was done to make her look better to Vandorack. Rey didn't go through the trial, but they did assume she did. Rey thought that she had felt a fear from him that if she did it, something bad would happen. 

Rey thought if she had to come toe to toe with her inner self she would run. She wanted to, really wanted to. Off ship she paused, cloud city never seemed to change. It was the same gleaming towers. This district was spires. Although the same bulb like construction was just under them. A vapor barrier shield was all around them keeping in a breathable environment. 

She felt him behind her and scowled. Looking up at Ren. He of all people had to show up. "What do you want?" She asked him her voice dripping with as much malice as she could muster. 

"Did you think he'd want a pure woman?" He asked her. Rey flinched but didn't drop her glare. "I'll pay for it." Her face went slack. And relief rushed into her. 

"REY!" Poe called to her. They just noticed her missing and now were walking fast towards her. Ren stepped away from her almost gaining down to Poe. He must have some twi'lek him him she reflected. Male twi'leks loved to gloat over other males. Something based on instinct. "Come on!" Poe yelled and she sighed. 

Neither of them seemed to care. "See you soon." He called to her as she walked away. She turned to glare at him. Not in a black cloak and nearly nothing else he looked quite the figure. Striking in a business attire of make natives of Coruscant. He bowed a little to her as Voe and Poe looked at from him. He even had a damned hat. 

"Who was that?" Poe asked her. She thought of the most insulting thing she could at the moment. 

"Just some old pervert I guess." She said and heard him laugh as he walked away. It made her feel lighter somehow. Voe put her hand up and Rey moved away from her touch. She even glanced back towards Ren with narrowed eyes. "Are we leaving?" She asked and Voe turned back to her. 

"Yes of course." Voe smiled making Rey almost want to punch her. Why even bother hiding her anger anymore? Rey left out a breath a bit irritated as Ren kept to the fringes of her consciousness. Waiting for her to have a moment to head back to his side. Rey wondered where the purchases would be charged to. Maybe Luke? Leia? 

Rey didn't care. Voe looked over a set of wedding boots, sturdy things meant to be worn in combat, but decorated with dainty flourishes. "I wonder if I would be cut if I went in without this." Rey wondered aloud. She was picking up the most flattering to her body shape. Rey didn't have those, at least not as large. Voe looked at her gaping. 

"What?" She asked. Rey gestured to the rack of underclothes. Voe just shook her head going back to mostly ignoring Rey. The kind of lavish purchases Voe snagged paled out compared to Rey's. Though still expensive, Rey wasn't flourish. She wasn't tiny bits of lace work. Pearl's sewn into the deep v of gowns. 

"Really? This thing? How will you stand out?" Voe asked. Rey looked down at her dress. A plain white silk made of many layers of near transparent tulle at the skirt. There was no patterning, no pearls. It was just white cloth. The many different purchases she picked out where the same. Rey sniffed over gloves. More delicate lace work that wouldn't last a second. 

She chose a pair of white leather gloves that felt sturdy, a pair of delicate looking lace gloves went to Voe. Voe tucked a veil around Rey’s head, it was probably the most ornate thing Rey had chosen. No beads, only a geometric lace work that would leave her face viewable. Unlike most of the rest which were created to be opaque on the outside but see through on the inside. Rey wasn’t a beauty, she didn’t need to hide herself. 

It was when she lined up this purchase as Voe and Poe argued good natured over veils for her that Rey darted off from them. Easily slithering out of the shop directly towards Ren. He was waiting for her she knew. “Yes?” he asked and raised his arm waiting. She slid into his side without a word hugging him feeling a soft sob break through her.  _ ‘Take me out of here, take me away.’ _ she couldn’t say it. She wanted it, wanted him more than anything to get her out and away. He would, and she’d damn the consequences of leaving. She recovered choking it back as he touched her back. 

“I know empress.” he soothed her. “We must all do things we don’t like.” he tilted his head and she nodded not letting her arm drop off him as he walked away from the bridal spire towards one directly next to it. “Act swooned.” Rey smiled, and put on the easy to fake happy mask. Ren guided her in as the two techs looked at them. 

“Oh my lovely lady here wishes to give me the pleasure of her first time. Again.” he told one of the techs, Rey giggled grabbing the collar of his shirt and kissed him. With tongue. 

“This will be the third time.” she said loud enough for the techs to hear. Most people didn’t care about that sort of thing, and the Solari said nothing about her purity. This was a just in case measure and Cloud City had taken repairing that to an artful practice. They didn’t even need a medical professional on hand with it. Just techs as she settled down, holding onto Ren’s hand. The machine did most of the work, using bacta and thin medical webbing to attach inside of her acting like a true hymen. It would even bleed. The most expensive procedure would use cultured cells from her own body. This one however took only ten minutes at the most, leaving her feeling the odd sensation of a chill down there. It would go away once the bacta died, or so they said.

Ren paid easily from a large credit chip that had the first order symbol engraved on it. Rey didn’t remark on it instead she let him take her to a small sitting area outside the clinic. She leaned into him.  _ ‘Get me out of here _ .’ she wanted to yell. She wanted to beg it, and knew without a doubt that he would do it. “I’m sorry.” he told her. She shook her head smiling at him. 

“No, don’t be.” Rey let out a breath. “The shame is mine.” she frowned thinking. She should have thought that allowing something like this could mark the downfall of the entire galaxy. Why wouldn’t it hinge on her purity as a maiden? Rey leaned into him feeling his hand on her shoulder as they relaxed. “I should have thought something like this could happen.” 

He breathed out. “We can leave together Rey,” she looked away from him. “I mean this. You don’t have to do any of this.” his hand dug lightly into her shoulder. “You are worth so much more than you think.” 

“I…” she wanted to beg him to. “I really want to.” she finally admitted. But given the choice she had to choose the ‘jedi’ way. He wrapped his arm around her fully pulling her tightly into his body. 

“Then that is a no.” she shook her head. 

“Sorry, I can’t. There is too much at stake now.” he ran his hand down her back and back up. Comforting her. Luke said the fate of the galaxy rested on her shoulders. It was expected of her, he wanted her to save billions, if not over a trillion lives. Rey felt war was enetibile, but this was just a stop gap for it. Maybe for a single generation, maybe not. She ignored a few young girls in stupidly ornate clothes that she had to assume was everyday wear. 

“Eww, the elders sure are moving quick.” one snarked. Rey looked up and glared at him as they giggled and laughed at her. All her emotions drained out for the easy and fast anger they had inspired in her. Ren stood and she felt a tiny dark shiver. She grabbed his hand and he turned to her. 

“Don’t.” he grinned at her and she felt lighter. 

“Don’t?” he questioned making her grin back at him. He leaned down kissing the top of her head “Don’t?” he shook his head. “I should. Just for the insult to you.” Rey giggled and blushed letting his arm go. 

“No Ren, no murder while I am here or I might get upset.” he laughed. Rey heard her name called, likely by Voe. So this was at an end, and she would never get to see him again. 

“Just might?” he asked, Rey kissed him. Savoring the feeling of being wanted for herself. Not for something she could do, or be, but just her. Rey stood looking towards where her name had been called. “Till next time?” a hopeful feeling rushed through her, but she couldn’t believe in it, that he’d stand by her. No one did, say for Ben really. 

“I said last time there was no next time.” she folded her arms in front of her chest. It felt obstinate, and it made her feel like she was keeping her organs in her chest as well. She couldn’t look at him. “Thank you though Ren. You are a good friend.” not even in the Jakku sense of the word, that applied to Voe. But in the sense that everyone else meant it as. 

“Ouch.” his tone was playful causing her to scoff and roll her eyes. “If you need me.” he took one of her hands and pressed a small communicator into her hands. He stared into her eyes pure sincerity coming from him. “Anything.” he promised, and left as she heard Voe calling her more irritated. She felt Voe nearby in fact, racing towards her. Ren left her, but he hadn’t. Not really, he left her a line of escape. Or at the least a way to talk with him. She loved him, as much as could love a dear friend. It was a tiny weight all in all as Voe scowled at her saying something angry and not worth Rey’s time. 

“REY!” Voe snapped as Rey shook her head and slipped it into her pocket. 

“It’s done Voe.” Voe went blank. “I had contacted the guy who…I, you know. Related to on Jakku, he was a traveler.” 

“THAT?” she pointed towards where Ren had left to. “That guy?” Voe felt disappointed, and almost disgusted. Rey rolled her eyes. “So what. He paid for it?” 

“Yes, he is really a nice man.” Voe pressed her lips into a line as she grabbed Rey’s elbow dragging her back to Poe. 

“You can’t just leave like that.” Voe snapped. “Without a single word, you scared us half to death you just left.” Rey yanked her arm back. ‘ _ I should have _ .’ She could have even did this whole marriage combat thing with him as her guide. Not Luke, not Voe, not anyone else. Just her and one of the only people she trusted without a single caveat. That made her shudder as they cut their time short, packaging up the purchases and leaving. Rey touched the communicator, smiling. She had thought convinced herself that everyone would leave her, hurt her or something else. Ren soothed over that old wound. 

“You wont stand out.” Rey startled and looked up to Voe. “You realize that right?” it seemed unfathomable to Voe. 

“I don’t need to.” Voe went blank. “I don’t need fancy things to make myself look better.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“The Solari care for strength. Not true beauty.” Voe opened and snapped her jaw shut. It wasn’t the best insult, but Rey was too tired to care about keeping up a mask. 

“How dare you.” Rey laughed. 

“How dare I call you beautiful?” Voe grit her teeth and Rey smiled at her. Voe stayed silent on the way back to the temple, seething at Rey. Mara Jade was back at least and Rey liked her, though she looked stressed. Mara used a network of spies that she personally had to cultivate, those in the first order did not do things by communicators often. Not when you were betraying them. She stayed by Luke not seeking Rey out, though, why that made Rey upset she didn’t know. Jealousy? Or something Rey thought. However she couldn’t really fathom why she’d be jealous over the attention. There was mistaking that Mara and Luke were lovers at the least, Luke only asked the students to be over the age of consent and sexual maturity before they tried. 

Rey sought out Ben instead, smiling as he went through several forms of combat practice with a droid. He was growing fast again, but still an awkward looking youth. He tried to smile at her as he cooled down, panting. But it seemed forced. “Do you think they’d let me see you in your wedding dress?” he asked her settling down, several other students decided to try their hands at the droid. Using at least four arms it was split in two, and attached to the ceiling. Mimicking two opponents, although it could be set to three, four, or just one. 

“I don’t think so Ben.” she told him. “Solari customs just are so… strange.” Ben nodded. 

“Are you okay though?” he asked her. “You could have said no right?” he asked her. “I know you don’t like this, you can say no. You-” he began to rant and dropped off. 

“I wish I could. But Luke is counting on me to win.” she sighed and put both her hands on her chin watching as the student got in a hit compared to the droid getting in four. “He expects me to win.” 

“That… fucking blows.” Rey scowled to him and he blushed. “Sorry.” 

“Its okay, I’m allowed to be upset.” she sighed. Rey still had an out, she had someone to talk to; the student leapt away and scowled towards the two. Leaving quickly tired of trying to win against a machine. “How are you on the flags?” Ben swallowed. 

“I just… got three more, you...” She grinned at him and reached out touching his shoulder as he hunched. “Rey, I don’t want you to leave. I hate it here.” 

“Ben?” he didn’t look at her. “I’m sorry if it is my fault.” he shook his head. 

“It's not, I just… you being here makes everything bearable. I don’t think I can do this without you.” she moved her hand up and down his back. 

“I’m not that special.” He turned to her eyes wide. 

“But, but you are!” he asserted. Rey shook her head, Ben groped for something to say. “Is Luke not even helping you anymore?” 

“No. Mara is here.” Ben shook his head. “It’s okay. I don’t need help.” Ben reached out and took the hand that wasn’t touching him. 

“Rey, we can leave can’t we? I mean I’m not… that good. But, I think we can work as…” she smiled at him as he struggled. She drew her hand off his back and cupped his hands. 

“Ben, you are the best.” he smiled as she leaned forwards and put her forehead on his. “I’ll miss you to, and you know what? You are the sole reason I stayed.” he breathed in sharply. “You made this place better for me too.” He shuddered. “I love you.” 

“I… love you too.” he didn’t look up to her as she stood. “Rey, I…” he began as she turned to him. 

“I’ll talk to you, I promise. No one could stop me from doing so.” He stared down and she reached out and touched his chin. “Trust me, you belong here more than I ever could.” He smiled again and raised his hand and dropped it, Rey drew away. “See you later Ben.” 

“See you…” he watched her as she left. His voice was quiet, as if he was holding back tears. She wanted to seek Luke out, just to soothe out the doubts in her mind, but he wasn’t near his office, or home. Maybe even off world to the station above with Mara. Rey hugged herself in her little home, or rather, hugged the large covered body pillow Ren had sent her in what felt like decades ago. Ben wanted out, she wanted out. But she wasn’t strong enough to make that decision. She sobbed into the pillow, she wasn’t strong, she was still that small bitter child all alone on that world. 


	17. Was it Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By choosing almost nothing Rey is one of the ones who stands out compared to others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind Rey is a jedi, so when she feels like Vandorack is wanting to HURT her, but is actually just touching her it makes her completely confused. She feels the intent of wanting to inflict pain and suffering, but he isn't hurting her. So when he does hurt her, and its well, slapping, hitting, etc, it comes as something like an unpleasant surprise. Like here is this person that is as shown here, kind of being gentle, but now he has slapped her. Like he wants to kill her, but doesn't so it will leave Rey in a state of constant wariness as it isn't always the case of being that violent.(Also, there was this cinderella story I remember reading as a child that inspired this bit too. All of the simple gown bit, not anything else.)

There were thousands of them, Rey stared at all the exact same looking compatible mates. The Solari’s main color was white in their banners and senate-hood. Thus the color. All the ornateness of the clothes blended together as they mixed in with each other in barely less than tolerated presence. Voe was somewhere in there as Rey stayed on the fringes, most of them wore what Voe had chosen, it seemed almost ironic that the more fluff, more embellishment the less one stood out. 

“Such idiots don’t you agree?” Rey looked to her side at a tall blond woman. She had chosen a thick veil, as she bowed a little at Rey. “Phasma.” she explained. 

“Rey.” she nodded. Phasma was much like her not wearing a single shred of embellishment. Say for a first order symbol wrot on the back of her dress. “First Order?” 

“Yes, who are you from?” 

“The Jedi academy.” Rey said, she could have lied, and Luke told her she might want to just say she was from the planet it was on. But Rey didn’t feel like it. Luke hadn’t even said anything to her as he dropped her off as her chaperone. 

“Oh, that place? Are there anymore?” 

“You tell me how many of you there are here and I will tell you how many of us there are.” Phasma smiled at her. 

“Twenty-four.” Phasma said.

“Four. Including me.” Rey replied. 

“I suppose I have numbers on my side.” 

“Numbers mean nothing to a Jedi.” Phasma bowed respectfully. 

“I hope not to face you then master.” the master sounded insulting but Rey let it pass. 

“Neither do I. If I may say so, I hope you win.” Phasma seemed a bit shocked at Rey’s endorsement of her. 

“Thank you.” Rey bowed her head as Phasma left probably sating herself in the information Rey had given her. Rey was under no illusion that there was more than that number of people for the first order. Phasma was the sole one branded on the back for it and Rey caught a mild glare from Voe as she passed through the crowd. Refreshments were there but hardly anyone touched them. 

Rey hovered her hand over each item she felt like taking, feeling nothing. Several frowns, but it wasn’t expected of them not to eat. The Solari provided it, and so many compatible people were likely so stressed that they could not eat without trouble. No matter how Rey felt she could eat, Jakku still had its mark on her. Rey had eaten some of the portion bread covered in sand in fact. But that was because of Unkar. 

There was a gong, and the crowd shivered, Rey ignored it. Ten more as she finished up her meal as everyone stood to attention waiting. It was only when a large group of soldiers highly armored in white surrounding her supposed husband to be that she turned. The odd one out, his head roughly looked in her direction, however he could only get the vague sense of the movement. 

“It is truly amazing just how far my call has reached.” he spoke his voice carried easily via hidden speakers all around them. “I have gone through and put my favored ones first as I give a short examination. I do wish my children to be beautiful.” Hundreds of people preened as Rey tilted away. His eyes snapped towards the odd movement from her, everyone stood on rapt attention, still, so she by not liking this stood out once more. Moving drew his eyes, Rey stilled herself. 

“Now you will all follow me to be sorted, from there the fight begins. The lowest will fight the lowest, then the highest the highest. Then the winner of the lowest will get their chance against the winner of the highest.” Rey sighed, waiting as they crowded in after him. Each sorted into two long hallways, via a short facial recognizing scan. Three of their possible children stood out under her face, each one just as average as she was. Rey was sorted into the lowest. There was seating and Rey took one as the rest milled in a line. Nervous and some highly upset at their placement. It took over an hour before Vandorack stood in the hall and everyone stood on edge. Everyone say for Rey, he stopped completely when he came upon her. 

Two of the guards, both now obviously female, stood at his side as the possible mates split away from her. “Why are you sitting? Did you lie to pass the physical?” he questioned. Rey looked up at him, he looked attractive enough. Though he was as tall as her, with ghastly pale skin and red-ish brown hair that stood out in a long braid down his back. Rey stood keeping her head bowed. 

“A warrior does not waste energy on nervous prancing.” she told him, looking at his shoes. He wore all white, just like the guards and the possible mates all around her. “Sire.” she added when he didn’t move. 

“Hmm…” he paused a moment longer looking over her. He said nothing as he left, and a lot of the other women down the line copied her fast like a wave knocking them over. Rey shook her head as they fumbled to try to gain his attention. By all copying each other and her. He paid them little attention instead turned around on his heel, pausing by her again. “You are?” he was handed a small data pad, he scanned her face and paused over her information. “Force Sensitive, a master Jedi in fact.” 

The other mates hissed in. “There are four of you, interesting. The rest are highly regarded of the highest.” he sniped. Rey didn’t fall to the bait if it was. She looked up to his smile, bowing in half. 

“You flatter me.” she told him instead. He looked away from her handing the pad back to his guard. 

“You are not nervous?” She looked away from him and sat down, he seemed a tad insulted by her actions. 

“No I am not.” she answered. Whatever insult she might have given was taken by a fierce feeling of satisfaction that made Rey hide a gag. Everything she could do barring herself losing in a fight was doing the opposite of what she wanted. 

“I will take a better look at you.” he told her and left at a march away. Rey sighed, giving up. She wasn’t going to make herself loose in a fight. It wasn’t her nature to do so anyways. But now she was on the receiving end of all the hostility of every mate there. It crackled around her almost like electricity making goosebumps stand out on her skin. 

Rey didn't want this, she rubbed her arms, encased in long gloves up to her elbows only her upper arms were free from cloth. She wondered how Voe, and Phamsa fared and hoped the First Order was up to her level. She begged it in her mind, let Phasma win. She'd rather be a concubine than to continue to do this. A good portion of these women might become that even. 

Another gong that made the whole crowd flinch. 

"Rey, please go to exit." A dull voice said and a lot of the women snickered. Rey stood hoping her few prayers had finally been answered. Vandorack, and Pharmacy were there leaving Rey curious as Phasma gave a particularly strange smile. Somewhere between snide, and pride Rey thought. 

"It seems as though you hid a key factor of your life." Vandorack told her. "My first Lady of the best has given me access to the First Order archives." He paused looking her over with some strange sense of longing that Rey wanted to flee from. "Did you know?" 

"Know what sire?" She asked carefully. Phasma bowed in half in front of Rey. 

"Kira Rey Palpatine." He spoke in a pure reverent tone. "I should have you placed among the best." He reached out and brushed the edge of her veil. Her heart raced in her chest. 

"I did not think it vital information." Rey said numbly. "Sire." She added for measure. 

"I would say not, but you are now vitally important to me." His hand went down and touched her bare skin. "To have the empress at my side." 

"I don't side with the First Order. They are my enemies." Rey snapped fast. Vandorack smiled and stepped away from her. 

"That much can be negotiable my dear empress." He took her limp hand and kissed her as Phasma rose and smiled at her. "If you try to fail, I will have it retried until you stop. Understand?" Rey nodded. 

"It has not crossed my mind to try to be weak." Vandorack had that feeling of satisfaction that made her nearly gag before. Owning another being, particularly one of her standing was something he desired above everyone else. Rey wasn't sure if even Phasma would make herself loose. Then it would be out there who she came from, and then everyone would hate her. Everyone that is, she frowned as she was beckoned to the highest placed mates, say for those she chose to give her love to. 

Ren would enjoy her secret out. Ben would know in full what she had meant those years ago. Rey grimaced at the short two people list of those she would say she loved. Only wondering if Luke would even so much as touch her once he learned of this. Would Mara still be the same even? She knew the Emperor first hand. Would she still try to be nice and kind? The doubt of it rushed into Rey as all the eyes of these mates turned to her as she was placed with them. Voe gaped openly, the rest had more propriety than to do that. 

Rey knew better than to hope. Hope had gotten her here in the first place. Vandorack was sure to be her husband and all she had to do was bare it for a while. Try to make sure he couldn't sell weapons to Phasma and the First Order. It seemed like such a small thing, but it still felt like the entire galaxy was hung even tighter around her neck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is said later, but for every 100 kids born there is only about one male on the Solari world. So men in power like Vandorack have taken to holding tortenments and since females make up the majority of the population they fill in all the roles that our stereotypical males do. Seeking outside genetics is something they have to do to try to curb this trend as it has been getting outwards to more females than males. Some of them use Kamino to create unaltered male clones, however this doesn't help that much. So someone like Vandroack is kind of treated like really really really pampered rich kids. A lot of the males are treated as such as you know most human ladies only have three kids (Sometimes) so them having a single boy when there is such a lack of them makes the boys that much more special and pampered.


	18. What Could this be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wins the competition and doesn't know if she is afraid of herself or Vandorack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to keep the good nature and heart that Rey has. Her murdering people willy nilly is not just something that the character of Rey would do.

It seemed too easy, Rey wondered if everyone was even trained to fight. One lady ran at her, tripped on the edge of her gown and Rey just bent down and put a knife to her neck. She wasn’t required to kill any of her opponents. But this just seemed sad to her, how there were all these people just begging to have Vandorack notice them, to pay them attention and Rey gained that just by existing. 

The lady was dragged out by officials, leaving Rey alone for the moment. She felt a prickling sort of sensation along her skin and looked around. It felt like the force had rushed over her for some odd reason. But there was nothing and the next opponent was up. This one was the other human lady that came from the school. Rey found she didn't remember her name at all. 

She didn't even care to have her name. While lightsabers were not allowed due to their deadly nature and most fought with swords, knives, or similar hand to hand weapons this one chose a staff. Probably the worst sort of choice she could make. "Good fight?" She called to Rey. A wall of weapons slid out from the wall, a staff indicated. It was another quirk, the allowance of using the same weapon as your opponent. Rey sighed and put the dagger back and took the staff. 

"Sure." She mumbled back. The other trainee, master, Rey didn't care raised her staff up holding it in two hands under her chin. Rey sighed, and settled the staff into her hands stepping away from the wall. The door shuttered closed and another gong said it was time to begin. 

She struck with a jab, Rey lept back and then ducked as a swipe tried to knock into her head. It wasn't hard to get into the meditative sort of mindset that let her predict the moves of her opponents. It seemed all to easy to do it at the moment however. She had to mull on it afterwards, as she blocked another jab by hitting the end of the staff with her own. 

The other one backed up accessing Rey as she hadn't even tried to attack. Rey took a breath in.  _ 'Break a bone or not? _ ' She asked herself. Another flurry of parried blows, a jab towards her ankles, trying to trip her. A blow towards her back as the other rushed by trying to get behind her and knock her unconscious. A set of chops like she was wielding a long and awkward saber. Decided on the course Rey blocked a overhand blow and snapped her head forwards. Crushing her forehead into the other and breaking her nose with a gross crunch. 

Staggered the other's hands went limp as Rey twisted the staff turning and jabbed the end into her stomach pushing her into a wall. All her breath left her as the staff dropped and Rey pulled back. "I-" she tried as Rey slammed the staff into her upperarm with enough force that she knew it broke. From the sound, but also because of the way the other woman fainted. It was cruel, Rey knew it was. But she didn't care anymore about holding that much back. 

The guards took the unconscious one out taking the staff with them as she went back to the wall, it hissed open indicating which weapon would be used next. A whip, as a series of notes raced through. "Rest period. Ten minutes." It said. Rey had a quick debate, she could either use the same weapon or keep the staff. She chose the later and sat down closing her eyes. 

Just like always true meditation never came easy, but it at least helped to calm the nervous, or maybe depressive, energy inside her. That prickling sensation returned as she settled herself for the next fight. Wondering if it might be Voe. As one of the 'firsts' Rey got to stay where she was while the rest of the winners of fights went to her. Phasma was another first and as that Rey knew she was experiencing the same thing. Voe if she won, would be heading off as soon as she won to another. The only time this did not happen was during the first fight when they were paired up. 

Without Rey it would have been uneven and Phasma would have faced two as the first of this side. That would have elevated her if she won, or elevated the winner of the fight as they would have immediately faced off against one another and fought. A series of notes and Rey stood taking a calming breath as her opponent walked in. Aleana smiled at Rey and Rey wasn’t exactly sure where she stood with her. 

The twi’lek woman grinned to Rey and bowed. “Hello Rey. It is good to face you.” 

“I suppose the same to you.” Rey didn’t feel like she could smile, but smiled anyways. 

“I was hoping to face you, I wished to ask something.” Rey nodded keeping a wary distance from Aleana. “I wished to become a concubine to Solari.” Rey blinked to her. “Is this okay?” 

“Is this actually the place to ask?” Rey replied Aleana grinned to her. “It’s your choice, I… I think I would like to have someone there I know.” Rey looked away, and that is when Aleana struck, overhanding the whip, and Rey barely got the staff up horizontally up in time to block it. The end wrapped around the staff slicing a line into Rey’s collarbone making her hiss. “Nice.” Rey replied making Aleana grin. She yanked at the whip and Rey held the staff tightly as it was caught on the staff. 

“Thank you.” Aleana moved trying to pull the whip free of the staff again, but Rey wanted it to stick there. “I do mean this, I do wish to stay.” 

“That is your-” Rey grunted. “Choice.” Aleana nodded and move to yank hard. Rey let go of the staff, making Aleana hit herself in the face with the staff as she yanked it back. Rey moved, elbowing her as she recovered, and grabbed her, tossing her away from both weapons. 

“I give!” Aleana said holding up both her hands in a crouch as Rey picked up both. Rey nodded, bowing. “Truly, I do.” Aleana bowed down putting her head to the floor as Rey wound the whip in her hands resting the staff on her shoulder. The guards came in and motioned Aleana out. Rey handed the whip to her.

“Thank you. I suppose I will be seeing you.” Aleana offered a smile to her. To Twi’leks being a concubine was something of an honor. Not necessarily a slave, but to have all your needs taken care of to be in a lavish house was something a lot of them, male or female, would strive for. Male posturing aside that is. Which was based more on old insticint than modern sensibilities of the race. Rey sighed, well a familiar face would be nice at the least. 

The next frights were all those she didn’t know, leaving Rey wondering if she would face Voe or Phasma. Would she face one of them? Both of them? As time went on and several fights went through just as uneventful as the first Rey grew nervous. This shouldn’t be easy. She should be nearly dying. There was a gong and the door slid open. It was Rey’s turn to head out, leaving her to pick a weapon in the few moments allotted. Or face barehanded. Rey kept the staff walking out nervously. There was only two more women heading out both with wounds on them and tattered clothes. All Rey had was a few blood spatters and a line of blood from the whip. 

While it stung and hurt Rey ignored the pain as she was guided towards a door waiting. It took maybe a few seconds for it to open and she was faced with Voe. Voe wasn’t obvious hurt, but she scowled at Rey as she entered and settled the staff in her hands. Voe kept a long and dulled vibro-blade. “Did you face the others?” Voe asked her. 

“Yes.” Voe’s scowl deepened. “Did you face… the one from the first order?” Voe shook her head and took a stance. It was the first form of the first teachings of combat. “Voe?” 

“I was looking forward to this.” Voe smiled at Rey. “You’ve never actually fought with me. Not really.” 

“I don’t want to.” Rey stayed more than arms length away from Voe as Voe circled Rey. 

“I will win.” Voe told her. Rey shook her head, leaping to the side as Voe made an overhand chop. She was too used to having an ally in a fight as Rey swiveled in place and put the edge of the staff onto her shoulder. Not striking her as Voe paused looking to her shocked. “I…” she knocked the staff away with a swipe that clanged. “I will.” 

“You’ll be disappointed.” Rey told her. Voe tried to make a flurry of blows, Rey blocked them with the ends of the staff keeping her at the end of the long staff’s edges. Preventing Voe from closing in. Voe pulled away and panted, which is when Rey struck. Voe brought up her sword to block, but Rey wasn’t aiming for the same sort of overhead swipe. Instead, Rey turned and slammed the staff into Voe’s hands on the sword. A crunch of bone had voe gasping in, cutting off a grunt as Rey stabbed one end into her stomach, then collarbone. 

Voe staggered back, and Rey slapped the staff into the side of her head, dropping Voe into unconsciousness. The guards ragged her out as Rey shook her head. Voe should have chosen the staff, Rey had the advantage of reach with it, while she had to remain at a distance. Then again, Rey had been practicing with a staff almost her whole time there. 

She remembered a few ‘training’ fights with Luke, all ‘play’ sort of fights. Highly sort of controlled sessions that left her feeling more like it was a stage rather than practice for a very real fight. She knew at several points with her fight with Ren would have left her dead, if he hadn’t wanted… well her. Then she would be dead and forgotten on Jakku. Rey wondered standing there if Luke would have come looking for her corpse. The door pinged and she was motioned out, the wall of weapons had opened leaving her to look to it and ignore it. 

A shiver, the force once more prickling against her skin as she looked around trying to find out what it was. But it was time to face off against the last person. Rey blinked to Phasma and grimaced. She looked well, with only a few nicks on her. Part of her veil was sliced off revealing almost half her face. She looked pretty Rey figured. “It is you, I am glad to be facing you Palpatine.” 

“It’s Rey.” Phasma bowed. She wielded a staff like Rey and smiled. “I don’t want to be a palpatine.” 

“You can’t fight what you are.” Phasma reminded Rey. “Now onto the fight.” Rey backed up as Phasma sized her up, keeping the staff taller than Rey and almost as tall as Phasma under her arm and straight up. Rey shivered as she readied herself. She really didn’t want to win, it felt like she was signing herself into being what she was born to be. 

Rey ignored the traded blows, like Phasma was sizing up her ability, rather than fighting. It reminded Rey of the fight with Ren. Though maybe Phasma was just putting up a token resistance against her. Phasma hit and rebounded off Rey, and Rey dived to her jutting the top of her head into her chin. Phasma made a noise, and Rey backed away as she coughed and spat a long trail of blood. A small cough and she spat out a tiny bit of flesh, Reey realized it was the tip of her tongue as she backed away. 

“I concede.” Phasma said and bowed to the ground spitting out more blood. She knelt on the ground as Rey backed away. “I prefer not to have broken bones.” Phasma seemed to fit the need to explain as the guards ushered her out and away. Rey shuddered, dropping her shoulders limply. It took a few moments for the last fight to come to her, this lady was much more hurt than anyone else Rey had seen. She looked like a feral creature hissing in pain as the doors slid closed. 

She did not wait for the gong, or for Rey to calmly bring up her staff. She wielded a long knife, almost like one of the first that Rey faced. Covered in blood, Rey had no doubts that this woman had killed as she screamed charging. Rey doged passed and hit her on her back. She turned to Rey, and for a short moment Rey was struck by what Rey might have been if she had been left on Jakku. Maybe not just raised by Tekka, but just laid there on that planet. More animal that real conscious being Rey cracked the staff into her thorax pushing a tiny bit of the force into the blow and cracking all her ribs. 

The woman went down, frothing, and screaming still trying to swipe a knife at Rey. The guard ushered her away nearly having to break her hand to get her to drop the knife. Rey didn’t look at them as the doors remained open. She wondered if she was going to get a chance to clean up, or would she be marrying Vandorack with blood spatters over her? 

“This way my lady.” one of the female guards called to her. “You do not require the weapon anymore.” she said, Rey handed it over. Tilting her head up and smiling, guided further into the complex of the Solari Rey only wanted to know how long this was going to last. Would she eventually love him? Would she have to cater to his needs? Play the flattery game with him? Rey shivered as a group of old women clucked over her, righting the various things that had happened with a tidy well practiced skill. 

“You are so lucky to be marrying our prince.” one old her smiling at her. “Watching you was fascinating. It was like you knew where these people would strike.” she padded a bit of powder onto Rey’s face making her look paler. “I suppose that is this jhed-dai thing.” 

“It is a me thing.” Rey asserted. Luke might know how to do it, but obviously the others had yet to master some of the same art. It was tiring yes, but in the end it was less tiring than having to memorizing fighting forms and details that were just fancy party moves that meant little in a real fight. 

Left alone for Vandorack to gather Rey felt that buzzing and stood glaring around until it was like a parting of reality that she saw Ben. She knew he wasn’t there, he wasn’t even allowed to watch the fights though Rey knew they were broadcasted to the Solari at the least. “Rey?” he asked as a fear rushed into her. Projection, Luke taught it exclusively, and used it to talk to Mara on occasion. 

It could kill him. “BEN!” Rey rushed to him padding against his shoulders reaching for anything that might say it was him that was doing this. He fidgeted confused as she put her hands on his face. “Ben this is dangerous tell me it isn’t you!” he opened and closed his mouth. “Ben! Please this can kill you!” 

“It's not! It's not me!” she felt the truth of it and sighed dropping her hands to his shoulders. “It just started to happen.” Rey sighed in relief. “Are you, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” she smiled to him as he tried to smile back at her. “I just won… so I’m kind of married now.” Ben grimaced looking at her eyes looking at the wedding dress, the patched veil. 

“I wanted to see you like this.” he admitted shyly. She drew back and circled in place. “You’re beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” Rey opened and closed her mouth. She didn’t know how long this might last, hoping that Ben would be safe on his end. “You have to go Ben.” 

“Rey I… I don’t wan…” Rey startled when the door slid open and she straightened turning to Vandorack and his personal guards. 

“Yes, perfect.” he mused as she felt such a vindictive sort of feeling that she took a step back. Rey bumped briefly into Ben, before he vanished and she was facing someone who she felt wanted to hurt her. Confusion filled her as he held out his hand curling his fingers becogning her. Rey’s only choice was to follow him fear sliding under her heart. She knew there was something that had happened, and because of who she was there was something like revenge in his mind. 

A truly elderly gentleman was settled in an office as Vandorack sat down and Rey had to sit down by him in a sofa seat. “We will discuss the contact.” the old man told them. Rey had been briefed on this. She was protected, but, her heart hammered in her chest. It was mostly usually marriage contact things. The olderman ran through it, she was to love him, hold him, protect him always. Then he went onto the compensations of failures to do so. Down to the breaking of the contract due to various circumstances.

“Sixty-forty.” Rey said, the two men looked at her. “I want majority control in case I am harmed.” 

Vandorack laughed reaching over to her and touching her knee. Rey avoided flinching by a hair. “Thirty. I won't give up the controlling share of my people to a unknown.” Rey swallowed not looking at him. 

“I am not an unknown, I am a Palpatine. I demand a controlling interest.” the old man pursed his lips into a thin line. 

“How about fifty and with ten percent held in trust until foulness is found and rewarded on the injured party?” Vandorack thought, squeezing Rey’s knee as she shook wanting to pull away. Fear making Rey swallow. 

“Agreed.” Vandorack said and the man wrote something down. Rey wondered if she would get the chance to prove foulness or if she would have to hurt people. If she had to defend herself she wouldn’t get a single thing in compensation. He would divorce her. 

“Loyalties to known powers?” the old man asked. 

“My loyalties are to the Rebellion, to Luke and the senate.” Rey stated quickly. Vandorack frowned. 

“Work in progress.” he mumbled. “But fine, I agree to only allow sales to these opposing powers to the First order. Sufficed?” he questioned. His hand hadn’t left Rey’s knee. 

“Sufficed.” she said. Tightened Rey choked and one of the guards handed her a small cup of water. Sipping on it she looked at the old man, he didn’t look pleased either and she felt like beseeching him. Asking him why her new husband would want to hurt her, why he felt this need to hurt her. Maybe the empire hurt his people, him personally, she didn’t know and didn’t like that she was the target of this old hurt. 

It was confusing as he circled an arm around her after she signed her name and dotted it with a single drop of blood. He had done the same without hesitation. He rubbed. Hand down her arm, like he cared for her. "The public ceremony will be tomorrow." He told her as she wanted to elbow him in the ribs. "Invite your little rebels if you like." 

"Thank you." Her words were clipped as he turned her to face him and drew up the veil to look at her. She could hurt him, she could kill him. He gently cupped her cheek staring at her face. 

"Hmm, I wonder if I can convince you to go through some Arkanian modification." He said and gripped her chin as she stayed there unsure and confused. "I think you might benefit." 

"I don’t … know." Rey said quietly. He let her go and moved away smiling. "Vandorack?" 

"Why yes my lovely wife?" It shouldn't be an insult. But it felt like it was. 

"Nothing. I… just wanted to call your name." Rey looked down unable to meet his gaze.

"This way, you must be in something much more than that stupid thing. Where did you purchase that? On the junkyard Jakku? I would assume so." Rey bristled looking up at him. "Your home world isn't it? Such a shame for a empire child to be born on a planet of whores and junk." She blinked and felt a blank feeling enter her. But said nothing, completely baffled. 

None of the guards said anything as she followed him not rising to the insult. It was just confusing as he smiled. "Now these things, are much more fitting." Rey noticed several ruined dresses, they were the remains of the competition she had just experienced. Everyone was in states of repair or not. Including the familiar blood stained one of her last fight. He took it off the spinning wall holding it up to her. 

"Yes. Make it like this." He told one droid. "I want them to get the indication of ruthlessness." Rey shook her head as he turned to her brightly. "Dont you agree?" 

"Was… was I that ruthless?" She asked confused.

"This one? She is dead." He handed it back to a droid who settled it near it for the modifications he wanted. "Shame that. A feral little witch. Much like you, I assume." 

Rey looked to one of the guards. They didn't look at her, soon it was likely they wouldn't even be there. She'd be the main guard for him as he made his daily rounds. "Tonight though, you spend in my bed." 

"Umm…" she swallowed. "Yes?" It wasn't solely required of her to do so. But the verbal consent might have been a mistake as he was very pleased with that.

"You are pretty like this." Rey didn't look at him, he touched her cheek again. "So very pretty." Rey shivered unsure the meaning at all, and she didn't dare try to touch him or bat his hand away. If she attacked him wholly u provoked as it were she'd not only be banished from the Solari, but also he could no longer even think to sell to her allies. As he left her to get ready Rey looked around and realized she might be in fully hostile territory. Without a single person to help her and now she felt something similar to how Mara must feel. 

Mara who did this thing on the regular to help cultivate spies and have all the information they did have on the first order. It was her that relayed this marriage competition soon enough before hbd for Rey to win in it. Rey shuddered, at least she would be able to send communication out when she wanted to, and she still had that. Though, she already knew what Ren would tell her to do. Kill him, and maybe burn everything of his to the atom. At least the thought was comforting, knowing she'd have that at least. Valeana was going to be a concubine, and that promised some form of… Rey shook her head. She couldn't count on Veleana to protect her. At this moment she had no one. 

Not unless she wanted to bring war down on the galaxy. 


	19. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben doesn't know what to do with himself when rey finally comes back for a visit. But then all hell breaks loose when he desperately wants Rey to know he loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS WHAT THE TAGS ARE FOR. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. There will only be ONE techically 2 but it is just implied explicitly wrote abuse scene. Everything else is mentioned.

Ben spent six months alone, he didn’t like it here without Rey being there to soothe out all the people who expected him to just do everything on the first try. He was Ben Solo, nephew to Luke so he should be able to do things, do everything. Be perfect. He looked around, a lot of the students at times had dropped off, come back, acting like a summer school of sorts. Ben sighed, wishing that he dared to connect to Rey like he did before. He remembered watching her as she was wed, both with his eyes from the vid screen, and there as some kind of projection through the force. 

_ “Maybe she is just happy without you.” _ Snoke said in his head. Ben sighed, Rey hadn’t let him closer than just the vague feeling that she was alive. It was the same with Luke and Han, his mom would let him connect more, but Rey had always been there and it just left him feeling a touch of abandonment. Ben knew she wasn’t happy, the few times she had been upset enough that she would shut him out like this made him know that for sure. With Rey, he knew Snoke was lying and well he never had seen Snoke, which led him to scowl. Snoke had been trying, Ben wasn’t dumb, to cast doubts about her. Rey was the sole person Ben would not ever doubt. 

“Ben!” Tai called, Ben stood and blinked at who followed him. Ben let out a sigh of relief, until he saw what she looked like. There was a fresh bruise on her upper cheek, and it looked like she had lost weight. She looked frail and wore more covering that he had ever seen. Usually she didn’t wear gloves, nor sleeves, but now seemed to be wearing enough clothes to cover the majority of all her body. All in Solari colors of white and red. Ben’s heart gave a sick beat in his chest and Snoke retreated out of his mind so suddenly Ben nearly staggered backward. 

“Rey?” Tai was fully ignored as Ben stood awkwardly in front of her. She smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She wasn’t anywhere near happy. 

“Hey Ben, I hear that you have actually won over me.” Ben frowned her voice was a tad hoarse. Like she hadn’t been drinking water. “Are you okay?” Tai looked between them quickly. 

“Rey, I… are  _ YOU  _ okay?” he snapped back. Stressing the word as he stepped up to her. She looked up at him and he was aware how tall he had been getting. Tai reached a hand out to steady Rey as she seemed to swoon, but she flinched and stepped closer to him rather than let Tai touch her. 

“I’m… okay Ben.” she told him and raised her arms hugging herself as Tai frowned. “You can leave now Tai.” Tai grimaced like he was in pain. “I don’t need an escort with Ben, as deemed by the Solari.” 

“I’m sorry Mistress Solari.” Tai bowed his head and looked to Ben with a pleading sort of look. Ben didn’t know exactly what he wanted Ben to do. Rey let out a sigh shaking as he left he didn’t go far, but far enough that their conversation was private. 

“Rey…” she dropped her arms putting on a bright smile. 

“I thought I would come and visit you while I wait for Luke to not be busy.” she told him. “You know, I think you’re shrinking. Last time I saw you, you were at least as tall as Chewie.” Ben grit his teeth. He didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t want to reach for her. He didn’t think it was allowed with what she had just said if he so much as touched her this little meeting could end.

“Yeah, I… Dad is always kind of shocked and upset when he sees me.” Ben told her as she shrugged. “I think it is because Vader was tall?” 

“Or maybe because Vader had synthetic limbs making him taller than he had been.” Ben let out a breath, even upset herself she was able to soothe over the tiniest things. Ben thought it might be because Han wasn’t his dad, even if the genetics proved it. “But you are okay? Other than shrinking?” 

“I… are you okay?” he asked quietly, looking to Tai and leaning over her. “You… you can talk to me. I’ve been so scared that you are….” he couldn’t finish the thought. She reached out and touched his chest pushing him a little aways. 

“You shouldn’t even feel a little bit of what I’m going through Ben. This is something… that I need Luke’s help for.” Ben swallowed looking to Tai, Tai looked like he had taken a step, and he knew why she had pushed him a little aways. “How are things here? Anything new?” 

“OH… Mara Jade died on a mission.” Ben told her. “Luke is… extremely upset over it.” Rey grimaced. 

“I shouldn’t have come here then.” Ben winced. “But I really need his help.” 

“Why him?” Ben wanted to tell her. 

“The laws of the Solari dicate I need someone like him to confirm something.” Ben felt like someone had punched his gut.  _ ‘What, confirm what? _ ’ he wanted to demand. “Did you move out of the bunks?” 

“Yes. You… left all your stuff here.” he told her her eyes went wide and a blush took her cheeks. 

“Ah… you found...those things?” he nodded. “Sorry about that. I didn’t touch...use any of it if it makes you feel better.” 

“I destroyed… the pillow… and thing.” he winced. 

“Thanks, I’m not sure I want to explain that to Luke.” she shook her head. “We met on Jakku when I went to go see Tekka and he was actually pretty decent. I thought… maybe…. I could be a bit like Luke. Try to turn him to our side.” she admitted to him. It certainly felt like truth. “But when we met again in… Just before all of this I knew I couldn’t. Not that he wouldn’t try… but it would be like trying to change the course of a raging river.” 

“Oh, so you like… like him?” Ben cringed. It was hard enough trying to tell him mom who he liked. 

“Sure, that does remind me though.” she pulled out a small communicator out of a pocket. “This is for you. I can’t… trust I won't use it.” he blinked to it as she put it in his hand. “Its from him, tell him I sent you to him.” 

“You want me to leave here?” Rey looked to Tai. 

“No. I just have a bad feeling that you need it more than I do.” Ben cringed at himself. “Anyways, have you done that trial?” 

“No. Rey…” she rubbed her upper arms again. “Rey I lo-.... Let me help you.” she shook her head. 

“You can’t.” Ben gaped and bit his lip. “Just how old are you now?” 

“Almost sixteen.” he admitted. 

“I think I have to ask Leia if it is okay to tell you what is happening then.” He shuddered looking to Tai once. He moved, grabbing her arms and kissing her quickly on the lips. It was his sole chance he thought.  _ ‘I love you. I love you.’ _ he tried to slam into her mind. She startled frozen as panic rushed into him and he saw it. Like it had come out of the dark depths of her head. Him and her, in a scene similar to some of the holo-vid’s she had under the bed. He pulled back and felt a shiver come from her. 

“Ben, no you-” 

“I knew it.” he said cutting her off. He kissed her again as she put her hands on his chest trying to push him away. There was a cracking noise, and he was frozen and forcefully shoved away from her. Ben ground his teeth fighting against the hold as he turned and saw Luke walk to them. He looked more angry than he had ever seen Luke before. More angry than that day Mara had died, leaving him to look down for a moment then to Rey. 

Rey wasn’t looking up either and she wasn’t fighting Luke’s hold at all. She floated just above ground level her hands at her side like she was trussed up criminal. “Rey.” Luke grimaced. “Are you not satisfied with destroying everything that you have to hurt Ben while you do so?” Rey grit her teeth. “Ben, go back to your home.” 

“She didn’t do anything!” Ben snapped, looking at Rey. Why wasn’t she saying anything? “I kissed her! She didn’t do-” Luke snapped a look to him and he couldn’t talk anymore. Luke turned and started away. 

“REY!” he yelled. 

“It will be okay.” she said, and Ben grabbed at the force. He could break free; Tai shook his head as he followed the two. It was only when they had vanished into the temple, heading towards Luke’s office that he broke out of the hold. Dropping bonelessly he bolted up and down the slope to the office, Tai tried to block his path but Ben clocked him. Knocking him out in one blow as he stalled at the door. 

“What do you even have to say for yourself?” Luke asked. Ben hesitated as he reached for the door, knowing that Luke probably knew he was there. He didn’t want to slam the door open and… he would be confronting Luke. Ben slid down just outside the door and shuddered. 

_ ‘Snoke?’ _ Ben asked and felt him in his head quickly.  _ ‘I want to be inside there for her.’ _ Snoke seemed to grimace but he felt the same sensation as he did when she was in that competition. It was just a short distance and he was huddled in the corner of the office, Rey’s eyes looked to him and then back to Luke. She hadn’t said anything he could hear. 

“What… can I say Luke?” she asked back. “You seem to think I’m a monster.” Luke shook his head. 

“I don’t. I don’t think…” he put his hands to his face. “I want to think you didnt do all of this, Rey. But I don’t know anymore.” Rey looked at him again and stared downwards not rising her head. 

“I really have no idea why you are this… upset with me.” She said quietly. “I haven’t been here in case you haven’t noticed.” her voice was bitter at that part. 

“Mara is dead.” Luke told her and she nodded. 

“I know Ben told me, why… do…” she tried to look up to Luke but couldn’t muster further then the desk. “You think I killed her?” the strangled words came out as Luke sighed a very tired and frustrated sigh. “Why?” 

“I caught this.” Luke floated a set of security holocrons onto a plate and activated them. Ben gaped when he realized what it was. Ben had been taped by some kind of security system disposing of the pillow, most of it was obscured but the face of Ren was clear as Ben shoved the whole thing into an incinerator. “Ben has been defending you, and  _ now  _ you hurt him.” 

“It was a kiss.” Ben snapped, the sound didn’t reach anyone else than Rey. 

“Luke what are you accusing me of?” she asked him. Luke didn’t respond and changed the small blue cube. Ben’s heart hammered as it played. Mara Jade was running from the one recording, and leapt over a hazy ill defined chasm as the other stalled on it. She turned to them and grinned, but it fell the moment she turned. There were six more of them now behind her, trapping her against the chasm. There was not much sound as it played out, but even Rey looked impressed as Mara fought off the six. She kicked one into the chasm, one other lost an arm, and finally the one recording lept over. 

_ ‘Hmm… pretty good for a fake jedi.’ _ Ben barely recognized the voice of Ren but it was clear Rey did and went straight in her seat eyes wide as she watched. Mara was able to cut off his hand in the ensuing fight, but she was alone, and there were too many of them. It seemed like a lucky hit, but it cost her her life.  _ ‘I will speak now to the recipient of this, Luke.’ _ Ren scoffed the name though he sounded like he was in obvious pain. ‘ _ This is for my little empress Rey. You made her suffer, now I make you do the same. At least she had a good death. Take solace in that.’ _ Luke stopped it and faced Rey. 

“What did you say Rey?” Luke asked her. “I will not sell myself to the dark for a pair of pretty eyes.” Luke didn’t move, almost glaring at Rey as she looked down, looking hurt. He felt her pain even as closed off as she was from him and he wanted more than anything to break the door down damning the consequences of his actions. 

“Don’t.” she told him quietly. 

“Don’t?” Luke demanded his voice now showing his anger. “Don’t what Rey? You decided who your loyalties lied that day in the old temple.” she shook her head. 

“No. No I didn’t.” she told him, but it was quiet and hurt. “I’m  _ HERE _ . Not out there with Ren.” 

“You call him by name.” Luke stated calmly. She flinched not looking at Luke still. “I want the truth from you Rey and I want you to look at me as you tell it to me.” she shuddered slowly raising her eyes to stare at him. “What have you done?” 

“He… I…” she grimaced. “We… he was the one I… mated with.” she told Luke wincing. “I…” she opened and closed her mouth. “I thought maybe… I could bring him to the light. Like you did with Vader.” Luke shook his head. “But… that was after…” she admitted. “After we… did that. When I was heading back home.

"It was in Cloud city I knew he wouldn't. I...uhnn..." she went quiet unable to say more.

"You met him on cloud city." Rey flinched, but did not look away. She gave a tiny nod. Ben thought he saw her about to cry. It hurt him down to his core to see her this way. He had never seen her cry before in his life. She was the strongest person he knew, and now she was sitting there almost broken.

“The truth finally.” Luke said and shook his head. “Rey I want to think the best of you. But this… these things have told me you only want to destroy this place. To destroy what I have tried to make.” 

“I didn’t! I didn’t tell him to do anything!” Rey snapped to him. “He did that on his own!” 

“Why would he do this.” it didn’t sound like a question. Rey made a strangled noise. “How can I even trust anything you’ve ever done?” 

“I… I am here… I… Luke… I…” she looked away from him. “I… just wanted your help.” 

“I have been helping you for the majority of your life Rey, what have you done in return?” he held out a hand and she flinched holding up her arms in a sudden and instinctive motion that Ben had never seen in her. Luke froze blinking. 

“Don’t touch me please.” the word came out quickly and fast before Rey controlled herself slowly dropping her arms. “Sorry… I came here to ask for your help.” she swallowed, casting her eyes down again. “But… I guess you can’t do that…” 

“Not that I can’t. I wont.” Luke told her. “I can’t trust you Rey. What am I supposed to think? With all of this? With how… with how you touched Ben?” Rey shook her head. 

“I kissed her!” Ben grit out but Luke couldn’t hear him. Rey didn’t look up, as Ben stood. Damn the fucking concenquences. He was frozen again, as he felt Rey’s power freeze him in place. She was not going to let him do that.

“I didn’t touch him. I never touched him.” She stated flatly Luke stood, but Rey’s voice had dropped to a toneless sort of depressed that left Ben struggling to break free from her hold. “Vandorack is abusing me. I have to ask… you to help me since you can prove that I am…being hurt.” Luke sighed. 

“Rey, you need to get out of here. Go to the Solari.” he stated. Rey stood and in a horrible moment felt the color drain from his face. It was a quick feeling, pure unthinking rage that left him wanting to beg at her feet. Luke blinked at her and stepped away from the desk grabbing the saber at his hip and lighting it quickly before freezing. Realizing the mistake as soon as he made it. 

“I did. But with who, and what I am I can’t do anything.” she turned from Luke and all the rage vanished behind her mental shields. Luke dropped the saber with a light thud hitting the desk before it hit the ground. “That,” she gestured roughly to it. “Is what I thought would happen.” she squeezed her eyes shut. “I am Kira Rey Solari, nee Palapatine.” Luke looked like she had slapped him. “And I hate you.” 

She turned on her heel and faced the door. “I can’t do anything to Vandorack, if I defend myself I am in the wrong. I can kill him Luke. I can shatter every bone in his body without a single thought or care. It was solely…” she raised a finger shaking. “Solely you that was my hope I could end this without bloodshed.” 

“Rey, I didn’t mean to do that.” Luke stated holding up his hands but she wasn’t looking at him. 

“I’m going back there Luke, and I’m telling him that he can do what the fuck he wants. I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. You said it yourself.” The connection snapped closed as she opened the door and stepped out, chin held up. "I sold myself to the dark."

“Rey! You can’t! We-” Luke began and moved around the desk as she looked to Ben and looked mournful. 

“I’m sorry you had to see all that Ben. But you know what I mean now right?” Ben sunk down as Luke was frozen in the door. Ben nodded. “We both come from evil.” 

“Rey!” Luke called and she ignored him walking at a brisk pace away. Luke was caught for a long moment between them. “Ben why…” Luke grimaced and rushed after Rey calling after her. Ben shuddered, wondering if he thought that things might have been different if he had opened that door. Yelled at Luke that it was because of him that this happened. It was his fault that this was falling apart because he knew she was hurting and in pain and all he wanted was for her to know he loved her. 

Ben stood and scrambled up racing after her and Luke. He caught them mid Luke pleading for Rey to talk to him. "I didn't mean to hurt you Rey." 

"Kay-too. Will you go find Tai while I do the preflight checks." An old empire droid walked out of the cockpit. It was a gangly thing, and its head was off model from the rest of its body. The body being one of the updated creations that Ben would rather not face without a saber on him.

"I assume that I will be leaving with you?" Its voice was dry and sarcastic leaving Ben gaping. 

"Thank you and yes. You will be leaving with me." The droid looked at him and Luke then shook its head as it left. 

"Rey please listen to me." Luke said, pleading. He was at the ramp to her ornate Solari craft as Ben slowly walked up to the scene. "You can't throw everything we have worked for away." She didn't look at him, instead settled into the cockpit of the small craft. “Please just talk to me.” 

“Why?” Luke blinked, talking a step back as she turned. “You’ve already made your decision Luke.” Luke took a breath in and stepped up onto the ramp. 

“Rey, I didn’t know.” he told her. “I didn’t know that he was hurting you.” 

“Go to the solari Rey.” she quoted flipping a few switches. Luke winced. “He’s on thin ground if that is what you want to know, that is what Tai is for. A guard I asked… I asked this place for help. He responded. You didn’t.” 

“Rey I don’t…” Luke paused and winced as she stood up. “Your first call.” 

“Yes. I thought the best. If that is what you want to know. I thought something happened, something horrible. I think… that is the same point of time Mara died.” she looked down. “No wonder you never replied. Did you even listen to it?.” 

“I didn’t know.” he told her. Ben looked down waiting. It felt like his world was collapsing around him and he could do nothing else but watch it burn. “I didn’t know.” 

“Didn’t? Or couldn’t.” she asked calmly. Luke winced again. “Didn’t want to know.” 

“I’m sorry.” he held up his hands. “Rey I am. But you can’t throw everything away in a fit of anger. It's exactly what Snoke wants.” Ben felt a stab of fear and felt the presence of Snoke leave his mind again so fast he did stagger back this time. Rey looked up to him and away frowning. “See?” 

“I don’t care.” she said flatly. Luke stepped off the ramp. “I reached out to you, and you what Luke?” He frowned. “Threw yourself away for a pair of pretty eyes?” 

“Rey,” Luke strained. “I am trying to be respectful. I loved her. You know I loved her.” 

“Respectful?” she smiled a grim smile. “Oh yes, because now I’m a threat.” Luke went silent for the moment as he thought. “Am I wrong?” she asked. 

“No. You are not wrong.” 

“Finally the truth.” she mocked and looked up. Kay-too was dragging a semi-conscious Tai with him as he came back. Not exactly being delicate with the human. 

“Rey, this will make war. Everything we have been trying to avoid for decades.” he said calmly looking at her pleading. “You will make…” Luke paused looking to Ben, Rey’s gaze turned flinty. “Ben, have to go to war.” 

“You.” she said. Luke looked confused. “ _ YOU _ . Everything  _ YOU  _ wanted. Everything  _ YOU  _ have been working for.” she sniffed and shook her head as Kay-too dropped Tai in front of Rey. “Thank you Kay-too.” the droid nodded. “You can go pilot, we'll take off in a few.” 

“A few what?” Kay-too asked. 

“I don’t know, words maybe.” the droid mumbled something insulting about humans before going to the cockpit. “You Luke. You. It's always been about you.” 

“That isn’t true.” he asserted. “I’ve been trying to help you and at every turn Rey you…” he dropped off. “You pushed me away.”

“Nightmares can’t hurt you.” she seemed to quote. Luke looked at her confused. “Oh but, Snoke is using you Rey, he is manipulating you Rey. He is using  _ YOU  _ to hurt everyone else REY. You can't cheat REY.” she growled out. “Can they, or can’t they hurt me?” Luke grit his teeth. “One of them is almost feral, I don’t know how Tekka found her.” 

“I wasn’t insulting you.” Luke looked down. “Your cubby.” he sighed out. “You were listening in.” 

“Not on purpose.” Rey let out a breath closing her eyes. “I liked her too Luke. I wouldn’t have asked Ren to do that, I would have prefered you to die. Not her.” 

“Is that supposed to make me angry?” he demanded her. She shrugged. 

“Depends, why didn’t you come get me on Atch-too?” she asked him and Luke clearly grew visibly frustrated. He tossed his hands in the air. 

“This is done.” He told her, Rey turned and lifted up one of the seats and reached into the hidden storage inside of them. 

“She had a miscarriage.” Rey said and Luke flinched. “I said, I understood. I do.” she pulled out a control collar and tossed it at Luke, he let it fall to his feet. “Four days.” she said and Ben stilled. “Four days in that. Valeana risked jail to help me.” Luke gaped to her as she grabbed something else. “How did you know Rey?” she prompted as Luke looked down. She slammed the seat down standing up fully and turning slowly to face Luke.

“How did you?” Ben asked her. She looked away and down. 

“The first order will do anything just to talk to me, including selling me information for so much as a holo-meeting.” Rey sighed. “Why did I have to learn this from them? Did you think I wouldn’t understand?” 

“You were a child Rey.” Luke told her. “A child shouldn’t have to know that.” 

“I wasn’t when you really told me she was hurt; and how long afterwards did you sit here at this school? Laughing? Smiling? Working? Happy?” Luke shook his head. “You left me. You could have called Han that same day, he would have come. You know he would have.” Rey held out her saber to him. “Take it.” 

“Rey, listen.” She glared at him waiting. He didn’t move to take the saber. “I was not in the right mind after that. I was hurt. I was hurting for a long time.” 

“Six months?” she asked quietly. “I was hurt, I was hurting for a long time too Luke. So many days I looked up to the sky, begging the stars for you to remember I was there.” she let out a sob dropping the arm. “Pleading, trying to reach out to you. So that I knew, that I knew you’d come back. So that I...knew...” She choked on her next words, unable to say them. 

“I would have you know I would have!” he raised his hands up pleading. 

“I don’t believe you. I can’t believe you anymore.” Rey threw the saber at his feet as he didn’t move. “My parents Luke at least had the excuse that they were dead. They can’t come back. They couldn’t do anything to help me. But you had all the time in the galaxy.” 

“I just told you why I couldn’t!” he yelled at her. 

“Didn’t.” she snapped. “I was all alone, and I had to go through… you know what. I think I had to go through the trial.” she wiped at her eyes near sobbing. Luke looked back at her. “I was all alone, scared. I was a child who had her parents Luke, my fucking parents left me all alone. I was so scared. And you werent there for me.” 

“I kept telling you I was sorry.” 

“Two days after I got back.” he winced and looked down. “Two days. Why?” 

“I didn’t think you needed me.” Rey breathed in. “You were… you are a strong person Rey. I didn’t think you needed me.” Ben moved to go to Rey and she held up her hand a few tears going down her cheeks. 

“I did. I needed you Luke. I needed you a whole lot and you never wanted me. Just like them.” 

“That isn’t true.” she shook her head. “Rey. Help me understand please. You never said anything.” Rey swallowed and put a hand to her face. 

“I don’t know  _ DAD _ .” she stressed the word. “Maybe  _ DAD _ , I just wanted a family  _ DAD _ .” she shook and put both her hands down getting angry. “Maybe  _ DAD  _ all I wanted was for someone to protect me. To tell me that they’d do anything for me  _ DAD _ . The nightmares can’t hurt you.  _ DAD _ . I love you  _ DAD _ .” 

“I’m not your father Rey.” Luke told her and stepped away turning his back on her. “I can’t be your father.” 

“I know that now. As shit as Han and Leia are, at least they didn’t lie to me when I asked them to be my parents.” 

“You never even…” Luke froze and looked like he had been struck again. He turned back to her, frowning. “The nightmares.” he whispered. 

“He hurt me, THEY hurt me. So why would I ask for something I thought would only hurt me?” she said and folded her arms in front of her. “It’s… it’s all I ever wanted. But I knew there, after that trial I knew. I knew I would never get anything I ever wanted.” 

“You’re selfish Rey, what are you doing now? Justifying destroying everything?” Luke demanded her. “Justifying how much you hurt everyone?” he gestured roughly out and she flinched every time he moved his arms. Luke stalled and dropped them, fisting them at his sides. 

“Everyone? Or just you?” Luke paused. Ben decided to speak up in the quiet, he looked to Rey and shuddered. He wanted to hold her and tell her that it was okay. She could have his family, but he couldn’t give it to her anymore.

“I kissed her, Luke.” Ben told him softly. Both of them turned to him as he winced looking down. “I kissed her, I… forced myself on her. She didn’t do anything.” Luke sighed. “I DID!” 

“Ben, she could have-” 

“What.” Rey snapped silencing Luke. Rey stomped off the ramp up to him standing in front of him. “I could have what? You look at me in the eyes and tell me what I did.” Luke stared down at her. “Say it.” she demanded him waiting. 

“You manipulated him… making him think he loved you.” Luke couldn’t finish the sentence before looking away from her. “I don’t think Rey, that it was on purpose.” he added looking back at her. “You were-ARE- hurting. It could have just been you looking for...” he dropped off. 

“For what?” she whispered. “Looking for what?” 

“To hurt.” Rey shook her head and Ben felt the lie. “Love.” Luke amended quickly as Rey stepped away and went to Ben. She put her hand on his shoulder. 

“I would never hurt you.” the truth rang out and Ben reached out to her but she shook her head making him drop his hands. “Goodbye Ben…” she swallowed. “I’ll give you two years.” she said and held up two fingers looking back to Luke. “For Ben’s sake. Only his.” 

“Rey, let me go with you.” he said quickly. “I can… I want to help you.” she patted his shoulder. “Please.” A bitter laugh came out of her and he knew she wouldn’t, even if he begged. 

“I’m more scared of what your mom would do to me than what Vandorack would do.” she told him and smiled the painful fake smile of hers. “Don’t hesitate like I did to call.” Ben nodded to her feeling the light weight of the communicator she gave him in his pocket. He had a way out of here, she touched his cheek. “I love you, never doubt that.” 

“I don’t.” She smiled, really smiled as she went back to the ramp and walked in. She turned to Tai and bent down touching the top of his head. 

“You will not tell any of this to Vandorack.” she told him the force making her voice echo. Tai shuddered, still not fully conscious. But the command rushed into him all the same, and would prevent him from doing anything even if he did recall this.

“I will not.” he replied dully and fainted.

“Good.” she stood back up and went to the ramp waiting holding her hand up as she stared down at Luke. “Help me Luke Skywalker, You’re my only hope.” Rey said as Luke remained quiet he flinched. “I thought… you know… I really thought you would help me Dad. But I can see now, fathers only disappoint and hurt.” Luke winced as she hesitated on the ramp leaning her head down. It was a long moment as Luke looked up to her and Rey looked at the verge of tears. Ben loved her more at that moment than he ever did before, even hurting she was still hoping Luke would do something to prove that she should trust and love him.

“Ben can you-” the Ramp shut silencing Luke. The ship purred, and lifted off gracefully. It took no time for it to angle up into the sky and vanish into the stars. There was so little sound to the ship going into hyperspace Ben marveled for a moment. Completely forgetting what had just happened to gape at the magnificence of the ship.

“Can I what?” Ben looked at Luke. Ben felt like punching his teacher was better than words. Plus one did not clock Luke Skywalker, not without wanting a fight. He was sure he would try to kill Luke if he started punching. 

“Can you talk her out of this.” Luke put his hand to his face before bending down and picking up the control collar with a wince, and then the saber. It looked perfectly fine to Ben, but he didn’t want to be the one touching it. Ben had no real talent for post-diction, but Luke did have some and just this far away the collar at the least beat off horrible vibes. Ben looked after Rey wanting to cry for her, and more. 

_ ‘You are my everything. _ ’ He wanted to tell her. But she was gone, and he hesitated to reach out to her, worrying she wouldn’t, or maybe rather couldn’t reach back to him. Not without her hurting him. Just by her being that hurt, Ben looked up at the stars. He knew which ones were Solari space where she had gone to. Going out there to consign herself to a place for two more years for him. Only him and no one else. 

_ ‘Snoke?’ _ Ben asked, and the old presence was there.  _ ‘I need to be stronger. I don’t care how.’  _ there was a pleasing feeling from Snoke, and despite who it was, and how Ben knew it was bad he didn’t truly care. He had to get strong enough for her so that she’d never cry again. 

‘ _ I will help you Ben. I will always help you. _ ’ Ben grimaced, looking back at Luke as he walked slowly away, not even glancing at Ben. Snoke was bad, Ben had no doubt about it, but if Rey was willing to do the same thing then he would follow. Only for her.  _ ‘My suggestion, look for those calls she made, they may be archived _ .’ Ben nodded, straightening and walking away, Luke was in his office so he couldn’t try at the moment. 

“Ben?” it was one of the younger students, they grabbed his sleeve. “Is Luke busy? I felt horrible things and I’m scared.” Ben looked up at the closed door, Luke only closed it when he wanted privacy or when he was yelling at people. 

“Luke can’t help you.” Ben bent down at the hurt look of the kid. “But I can.” the kid brightened. “Are the others scared?” the kid gave a tiny nod. Ben looked down already knowing what Snoke wanted to do. “How about I tell all of you exactly what happened?” the kid nodded looking unsure but brave. Luke wanted Rey to destroy his school, she was too busy to do it. So now it fell to him. If she didn’t want it to happen it was easier to ask her forgiveness then her permission. 

His mother took only a few hours to get there, it was the early morning just before the sun rose as Ben felt her, confused. Leia didn’t come here often, and she didn’t seek him out. Instead going in and talking with Luke for hours before leaving without a single word to him. Ben thought he might not ever know what Rey had felt, but with that event as he watched his own mother just leave him. He needed her too, but at the moment he was too busy to care for yet another abandoned moment.

“Are… are you sure Ben?” A few kids were gathered in the shipyard. As a ‘forgive me’ moment for forgetting his birthday his parents had given him the Falcon. Ben and the kids were busy loading it with provisions and more. He could put several little auxiliary ships in tow with it and head out into space he just needed to fix up the tether cords on the light freighter. 

“Of course I’m sure.” Ben smiled brightly. The kids were still not entirely sure of these actions. “Luke can’t stop us.” They nodded, a bit scared milling a bit unsurely as they loaded up a few holocrons that he knew Luke would not miss just yet. They were working quickly, he wasn’t going to give Luke time just yet to realize just what was going on. “Okay, go rest up.” Ben finished up fixing the tethers, hopping off the back of the Falcon landing with a light thud. Using a tiny bit of the force in order to not shatter his ankles. The kids quickly forgot their wariness nodding to him. 

“We have enough supplies for two weeks even if we can’t make Solari space in a single jump.” 

“Will master Rey really take us?” One kid asked Ben nodded. 

“Of course she will. The Solari need people like us.” Ben didn’t want to tell them the Solari needed outre genetics or children compatible with their own species due to their own problems. They were almost like the Cerrans, but more dire straits. One in every hundred births was a male, leading to the more male dominated society. Trying to use arkanian tech to stop this tide was useless at this point and they were getting more desperate. Thus what Rey had to face, Ben checked out his own, and despite how much he hated it, he was going to donate his own genetics to the cause as a way to get through Solari blocks. 

It seemed almost ironic to him that the majority of Solari space was right into the DMZ between the First Order and the Rebellion or rather the ‘New Senate’. Thus they established blockades all around their entire space putting heavy tariffs in the last- Ben grit his teeth suddenly angry at Luke again- six months against solely the First Order in trade. Making it much more profitable to trade to the New Senate. As a main hyperspace route as well, the Solari truly were the sole reason why outright war had not started. 

Alone for the moment Ben triple checked the Falcon more out of nerves than for anything else. Taking forty students with him was going to be a chore the falcon can’t fit that many on the ship, maybe twenty in cramped, but he quickly activated the tethers for a few small auxiliary ships, to make things more comfortable. These tiny ships couldn’t make jumps, but tethered they could and could in turns be connected to the Falcon. It was going to be tight, the Falcon was not made to be this, but he was sure it could make it to the edge of Solari space at the least. The main problem was the hyperspace fuel. Highly guarded and only granted access with Luke’s permission. Right now it was dry on that, and once he broke into that they would have to move fast. That was for tomorrow however, and he nodded over the yard. Tonight when everyone else was asleep he would sabotage, a few things exploding, nothing that would damage the temple and school too badly. That should keep Luke too distracted to not only go after them, but also to stop them. ‘ _ We’re going to do this Rey _ .  _ You won't be alone for long _ .’

Ben kept a watch on the office, and quickly rushed in the moment Luke finally left it heading to the communications hall. ‘ _ Now where would they be?’ _ he asked mostly himself. 

‘ _ Try there. _ ’ Snoke said Ben’s hand hovered over his desk, there were several locked drawers on it. Ben looked down and frowned over them. Thankfully the construction wasn’t for bio-locks. Luke did fancy the oldest of the old school and these things used small physical keys. Concentrating on them he forced the lock using the force and rummaged. Some minor contraband, mostly First Order propaganda. But he found a small set of data-holocrons and shivered. In a tiny palm sized box they were labeled with Rey’s name but even with that, he felt a shiver in the force touching it. Knowing they were hers. He shoved it in his pocket and closed the drawer, not bothering with re-locking it. 

His heart hammered in his chest as he looked up seeing Luke on his way back Ben walked briskly to the side and didn’t look at Luke. “Ben!” Luke called, and he ignored him. “Ben wait!” Ben stopped and grimaced waiting as Luke caught up with him. He was afraid that Luke would know what he had in his pocket at the moment. 

“What do you need of me Master Luke?” Ben asked and hunched down looking to the ground. “I’m kind of busy.” 

“Ben, I need to talk in private with you.” Ben looked to a few curious stares of students. 

“No.” Luke blinked as Ben looked at him glaring. “What you can say to me you can say to everyone.” Luke looked to the other students and back to Ben. 

“I know that upset you.” Luke began and Ben straightened himself. “But we might need your help Ben.” 

“We?” he asked making sure Luke could hear the scorn in his voice. “Or you?” 

“Me and your mother. Rey is… hurting badly. You…” Luke sighed. “You are the one thing I know makes her happy.” Ben frowned almost scowling. 

“You should have thought about that before you accused her of being a sith lord.” Luke looked like Ben had slapped him, and he honestly might as well have. The other students started whispering and Luke looked torn between trying to tell them he didn’t, or trying to calm Ben down. 

“Ben, we all make mistakes, I was angry.” Luke explained calmly. “I thought she was. I truly thought she was, but I know better now.” 

“Now that she is a threat.” Luke gaped. “You can only push people so far Luke, and right now,” he looked to the students. “Right now, all I want is her to be happy. But you hurt her so badly, that she might not ever be happy ever again.” More whispered and Ben wanted to smile, so his little rumors and partial truths worked. Trust sentients to gossip and spread information faster than light. 

“Ben, please. This should be in private.” Luke hesitated reaching out to him but Ben backed away avoiding touch. 

“She gave you everything.” Ben told him, shaking his head. “Everything.” 

“Ben, I’m asking again. You don’t know anything. I can explain,” he gestured to his office pausing a moment. “Let me explain it to you.” 

“I refuse.” Luke fisted his hand and looked at Ben. 

“And if I order you to?” Luke questioned and folded his arms in front of him staring down Ben. Ben swallowed nervously. 

“I don’t need to listen. You’re not my parents, and I can’t respect a man who threw a baby bantha into the sarlac pit.” Luke sighed. 

“She isn’t a child Ben. Rey is an adult.” Luke told him voice serious. 

“Then why did you force her to marry a man who beats her?” there was a near collective gasp. Ben didn’t want to tell anyone this bit, it felt like shame on his own part. How he wasn’t strong enough himself to protect her from Vandorack. But this was better, make Luke have to defend himself in public. This way it was also a way to get more of the students on his side. Make Luke loose everything, it wasn’t fair, but it was the least he could do for her. 

“Ben, I didn’t know.” 

“Like she said Luke. Didn’t  _ WANT  _ to know.” Luke stopped and turned. 

“This is over. Ben I suggest you really think about this. You don’t know anything about what happened.” 

“I know enough. I know you made her cry, and that is all I need to know.” He said this one quiet stomping up to Luke, glad he was a head taller at the least compared to Luke. “She was crying Luke, I never saw her cry. Have you?” Luke winced and that said everything. “You. Broke her. Not him, you. If she hurts, it is because of you.” Ben turned and shook before he walked away from Luke. 

“I know. I know Ben. I’m asking for your help in fixing what I did. That is all I want to happen.” Ben paused. Luke held out his hands. “I understand I did wrong, now I have to ask for all the help I can in fixing it.” 

“You’re Luke Skywalker.” Ben said and turned. “You can do everything.” Luke shook his head. 

“Do you expect me to kill her husband Ben?” he held out one hand. “To face down someone who can’t even…” Luke frowned. “Defend himself.” 

“She can’t defend herself. Is it because you think that we can’t handle fighting? That you trained us all as weak.” Luke gaped. “Am I wrong? Or did you make us all that weak on purpose so you can be the best?” 

“Ben how can you even consider that?” Ben looked to the other students. 

“Because she is being hurt. She is hurting right now Luke, and you aren’t even trying to help her.” 

“I am!” He held out his hands. “I am doing what I can.” 

“Then why are you here?” Luke froze. With a quick turn Luke shook his head and sighed shaking his head. 

“Because all of you are here, and I can’t just abandon everything for one person.” Luke told him.

“But you did. You did for my parents. You did for Mara.” Luke didn’t reply as he left and Ben was left with the students as they quickly dispersed. Ben reached into his pocket and touched the small pack of data holocrons. Let Luke live with what he had done to himself, he can try to repair his reputation after this too. If Ben needed to, he’d kill him, but he would prefer to honor her wishes. Let's make this as bloodless as possible. 


	20. Lies of Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes back home and betrays everything she had ever done. Or almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one is in the right ALSO. AGAIN WARNING. Vandorack will hurt Rey in this and it is not explicitly shown but mentioned that she has slept with him. Though dubious consent is that. Dubious.

Rey shivered, at the moment she would rather be left with the emotional numbness that had come in the aftermath, but as time went on she was left with a kind of agony that she would rather never experience again. She was still so angry however and that lasted her untl Tai finally woke up holding onto his head as she sat by Kay-too. “My head,” he mumbled and frowned at her. “What happened?” 

“You don’t want to know.” she told him. 

“You lost consciousness on the planet.” Kay-too supplied helpfully, Rey looked at the droid. “It appears from being punched in the head.” 

“Yeah I remember that part.” Tai said. “Why would Ben attack me?” Rey shook her head. 

“Luke and I had a fight, he isn’t going to help me.” Tai gave her a baffled look. 

“He wouldn’t help you why?” Rey grimaced. “I hear the truth in your voice Rey.” Tai said after she remained silent. 

“Once we're done you can ask him yourself Tai. You are a guard meant to protect me.” Tai winced. “We are not friends. Nor allies. This is business.” 

“I am sorry if I personally upset you Madam Solari.” he bowed. Rey nodded. 

“We are almost home. Do you need medication?” she asked him, he shook his head. “Thank you, if you need anything be sure to ask for it.” Tai nodded settling down back into the passenger seats. It took only a few more moments before they excited onto the main Solari hub world, looking much like Naboo the planet was made up of many different small island chains. In between each island chains were large pillar homes however it was one of the islands Rey and the rest headed to. It was a private one, with two complexes. One was busy and full of females genetically capable of breeding with Vandorack, the other was her shared home with him. 

This was one sparse, and manned by an all female work force among the droids there. Rey wondered if he was there and knew with a frown that he was one the ship settled onto the ground. She really didn’t want to face him, didn’t want to even see him. But she would have to even if she tried to avoid him. Tai would prevent him from hurting her at the least. Kay-too and Tai followed her in, keeping near her as she went to her study. 

It was a large space, with very little in it other than shelves of data cubes all meticulously categorized by her own whims. Vandorack was waiting for her here reading one of her books, on one of her chairs. Chosen for comfort and without a tall back letting her be able to look around. “I guess that he did not want my robot?” Vandorack asked, Rey didn’t look at him as he stood. “K2S0, go back to your hole.” Kay-too looked from him to Rey, and only moved to one corner waiting. Vandorack scowled at him. 

“What do you want with me?” she asked and glanced to Tai, he was staying at a respectful distance ready to intervene if he was needed. Rey wanted him to, she didn’t even want to face him. 

“Must I want something to see my beautiful wife?” he stepped up to her and she flinched. Reaching a hand up she didn’t look at him as he gently cupped her cheek, but dug his fingers into her skin. Not enough to really hurt anything other than the bruise from when he had backhanded her for calling Tai in. “Are you still that?” he asked her. Rey didn’t look at him. 

“I am.” she answered. He laughed letting her go and walking around her. She shivered hoping it was the last time she saw him as he left. Tai gave her a sympathetic look as Rey looked around the room. She did not feel safe here, she only felt safe in her own bed, and that was just barely. Thankfully that was all he wanted leaving her to shiver in relief. 

“Are you okay?” Tai asked her. She looked to him, wanting to tell him no so that he wouldn’t let Vandorack touch her. But that might strain things too far and Vandorack might finally decide to divorce her. 

“I’ll be fine.” Rey gave the place he had been sitting a wide berth and instead moved towards one of the seats and sat down with a sigh. “I’ll be fine.” she told herself quietly as Tai settled in himself getting a book himself as Rey prefered to stay there in silence. She felt far to sick with herself to seek out food, and likely wouldn’t eat anyways. All meals were dinned together and she live with a single meal a day. 

By dinner Rey had pieced herself together. She barely touched the food as she closed her eyes and straightened. “Who was that First Order contact I spoke to last time?” she asked feeling that she had just betrayed the entire galaxy. Vandorack was quiet for a moment as she didn’t look at him. 

“Why would my lovely rebellious wife want to speak to the Order?” Rey looked up at him and kept her face carefully neutral. 

“My fa.... Jedi master and I had a fight. Thankfully it was a bloodless one. However it reminded me of something.” Vandorack listened as she reached for a glass, thankfully she didn’t tremble. A hard sort of emotionless buffer had entered into her as she had sat there waiting for this moment. She tilted her head up and looked at him smiling. “He wants around ten thousand units of blaster rifles correct?” 

“I did not bother to remember the exact details.” he replied and stared at her baffled. Good, let him be. 

“Tell him that I require his entire… Regimen to donate their compatible genetics to us.” Rey took a drink and set it down. “After all, I have to look after my people, do I not?” He stared at her for a moment then nodded slowly. As if time had slowed and it was all he could do. “Tell him for every one hundred compitble donations he gets a single shipment. I will be telling the rebellion the same. I would put the heavy emphasis on males.” 

“This is what you want?” he asked carefully. She wanted to frown, but that same sort of confusion filled her. She didn’t know what his intent was as he stared at her like he respected her. An open expression of confusion on his features as he placed his hand on the table looking over her. 

“Yes it is, we will play the neutral party in the coming war. However… I do think we can do something else.” Rey swallowed. “We do not occupy the whole neutral zone and I know Solari history says that we had around forty seven planets at the height of our power.” she shuddered as he smiled. “I want us to have tripple that, my suggestion is to start slow. It’s almost ironic I think that Jakku lies directly in line for this plan.” 

“Why that junkyard?” he asked. Rey smiled. 

“Half built Star Destroyers are cheaper than building from scratch. There are at least two hundred and…” Rey blinked trying to remember. “Nine. With some major patchwork in their outsides would be flight worthy.” Those ships were also in the badlands, and coming from Jakku the badlands were more along the lines of ‘the exact place you will die’. Called the ripple a lot of people claimed there was treasure out there and major stores of hyperspace fuel on the ships. She pulled out a palm sized datapad and held it out to him. 

He hesitated before picking it up. “I have newer plans for the ships however, the First Order’s dreadnaughts are impressive. But I think I can use four normal ships tied together with a planet killer in the middle.” 

“What planet killer?” he asked. “Those were all banned and all records destroyed.” Rey tapped her head. 

“Before I was sold on Jakku my father implanted his memories into my head. I would rather not go into details. But I have the entire death-star plans in here. It will take time to recall it, and it will be painful on my part.” He reached out grabbing her wrist, the guards didn’t do anything and Tai was on his break. She wished to have another but she was not going to ask Valeana to do more than she had done. 

“If you do have it, then that changes so much.” he dropped his voice lower pulling her hand to his face as she winced. He kissed her palm bending over the limb and staring at her. “But first, this shipment. I will have our people contact him, or would you rather do it personally?” 

“Personally.” she answered and he dropped her arm, Rey wanted to wipe it on her dress, he nodded looking smitten at her. Rey wanted to gag, she wanted to just crawl into a hole and forget everything existed. But she had made a choice back there staring down at Luke. A droid came in as soon as he stood with the clear intent to head to her side making Rey flinch. 

“Emergency missive from a Leia Organa nee Solo.” the droid called heading right to Rey and stalling its chest was a wide screen with Leia’s personal image on it, plus her flourishing signature. No matter how hard Rey practiced even with Ben’s help she couldn’t get on that level of curving embellishment. “She wishes to meet in person. She is stalled at the Lunar Base.” the droid told her. 

“Why would she want to meet me?” Rey asked and then scowled. She knew why, trust Luke to call in every favor he could in order to placate her. It had barely been a whole cycle before he was able to call anyone in. “Oh,” she mumbled and shook her head. 

“I suppose her brother called her in…” Vandorack supplied and she tensed as he walked around the droid lounging by her but not trying to touch her. “Doesn’t that seem pathetic?” 

“It is pathetic.” she supplied and looked at him warily. “Send her in.” Rey typed a confirmation code into the screen as it popped up. The droid bowed its head and left quickly. “We’ll have dessert with her.” 

“We?” he asked and she didn’t look at him. 

“Yes.” her muscles started to ache from the rigid way she held herself. “I would prefer to wait to explain things, but I suppose we can contact the First Order immediately. It will take,” she paused as he touched her shoulder. “An hour for her to arrive.” 

“Our ships…” he grinned. “Stall her? Stall the Queen of the living Alderaan.” he grinned at the thought. One didn’t stall her, Leia was a force onto herself. “Very well, if this is what you want.” his hand cupped her neck, it could look affectionate. 

“It is. Make sure it is,” he squeezed. “Hux, I want him personally.” Rey took a long breath in. She didn’t want to prevent this just at the moment. He let her go and she watched him as he left, what little she ate now turned in her stomach. She stared down at her plate waiting. It took only a few more moments before she was summoned to their own communications room. Luke’s was bare bones with few seats. The entire room structure for Luke’s was just a square with a holo-projector in the ceiling. 

Here this was a circle with curved pillars of filigree marble. Swirls hid projectors and there were two long lounge seatings in the middle. Smaller chairs stood out against the walls where one can have a mostly private conversation. The Solari took great pride in making things beautiful just for the sole purpose of it. Rey settled into a seat and Vandorack followed quickly with a snap the lights dimmed to see the projectors easily and the call started. A blue haze showed in the middle of the room as they waited. 

“Connected.” a metallic sounding droid stated and Rey found herself smiling. Hux looked rumpled and a quick thought said it was around the ‘night’ time for the First Order ships. All running from a day to night cycle on a base 12 system. So she must have woke him up and he hastily dressed himself and brushed his hair. A few errant strands stood out as he nodded to Rey. 

“Madam Solari, I must apologize for my appearance, you caught me in rest.” Rey shivered as Vandorack settled right next to her, his arm going around her waist. 

“I am the one who should apologize.” Rey said, keeping her voice clear. “Recent events have made me reconsider a few things.” Hux straightened and looked to something that wasn’t them, he was handed something and looked right back to her. “For every one hundred usable samples for our people,” Rey began taking a breath. “You will have a approved of shipment. I would like each sample categorized along with a picture of the one so that our women don’t have to rely on our genetic software to predict what the children will look like.” 

“That may be difficult.” Hux said and she tilted her head in silence. “But I will see to this personally. You are… giving us these things?” 

“No, consider it as a discount.” Rey quickly calculated in her head. “Fifteen percent, along with rewards for every hundred samples.” Rey held out her hands towards Hux. “I am giving you a standard month in advance before I tell this same deal to the rebellion.” Hux blinked at her and she smiled grimly. “Though, I am warning you as well our new intentions.” 

“I am listening Madam.” Hux said. 

“We are going to expand our reach, and would like to not interfere with First Order Operations, our first mark is Jakku.” she said and waited. 

“You may have it, we had not even thought it relevant to our pursuits.” Hux replied too quickly to have put it through to Snoke. “I suppose this is a… interesting new approach.” he typed on his lap for a long while. “May I ask where else you will be expanding?” 

“Into the full DMZ. As we already are in a part of it as part of the hyperspace hub.” he nodded and smiled. 

“We are willing to work with you to expand yourselves.” Hux said and held out a hand. “We can offer military assistance to all your wishes.” 

“That is very kind of you General Hux. We may need your assistance.” She conceded and hid a grimace as Vandorack pulled her closer to him. “I do also wish to thank you for the information you gave me so freely.” Hux snapped his gaze back to hers. “It was very pertinent to this discussion we are having now.” Hux straightened there was a brief smile on his face before he nodded. 

“You would prefer males I assume.” Hux stated and she nearly bowed in a nod. It was mostly to avoid a kiss to her cheek. “Very well, do you require anything else? I need to see to these new changes.” 

“Only one thing.” she said and he waited. “I would like to know if you have finished building your base.” Hux flinched and took her in as she smiled. 

“I did not think it was so out there.” Hux said calmly. 

“I’m not an idiot General. I know your purchases fall in line with a massive base, a small planet I think?” Hux waited for a moment and nodded. “Good for all of you. Send what you require to finish the building and we can use the bonuses for our new deal for that specifically.” 

“Yes, I believe that will be perfect.” Hux said. He typed a bit more and smiled towards her. “I do believe that this is going to be a good relationship my lady.” he told her. She smiled back but it was brittle. 

“I would assume so, I just hope your base is as mobile as the old empire’s Star.” Hux blinked and she bowed her head again. “End Communication?” 

“End.” Hux said and the blue haze vanished. Rey wanted to bolt up but she was being held down as Vandorack kissed her cheek. Leia arrived soon after as Rey waited for him do anything troublesome to herself. He pulled away as Leia frowned at the display and Rey didn’t look at her as she settled in just in front of Rey. 

“Rey,” Leia said and looked over Rey quickly. Rey felt the tiniest fringes of a scan, Leia was good and if Rey hadn’t been waiting for it she wouldn’t have noticed it. She let the scan rush over her as the older woman blinked and hid a grimace. “May I speak to you alone?” Rey looked to Vandorack. 

“Very well, I shall see to dessert.” he said and left. Rey sighed in relief. Leia watched him go and as soon as the doors shut looked to her reaching a hand out. Rey leaned away from it, fisting her hands beside her. 

“Rey I am so sorry.” she began and Rey looked down grimacing. “You could have called me, I would have helped.” 

“I did.” Leia breathed in. “Seven standard days ago.” Rey looked up at her as Leia looked away distantly. 

“Oh.” she mumbled. “I didn’t get the chance to listen to the whole thing Rey. I was in the middle of a rest period between trying to soothe King Prana and one of the hutts. Both of them wanted to have exclusive access to some of our-” Rey narrowed her eyes. “Resources. Each one said if they were not the only ones they would go to the First Order instead.” 

“At least you are not lying to me.” Rey said and sighed. 

“No I will not. Or try not to.” Leia told her Rey drew her hands to her lap folding them carefully. “Were you able to get an order of protection?” 

“As much as I can." Rey watched as Leia thought for a moment. “Why are you here exactly?” 

“Luke asked me to talk to you.” Leia told her honestly. “He said you guys had a rather nasty fight and I am glad neither of you decided to do it via bladework.” 

“Did you ask why?” Rey tilted her head just before Vandorack walked in followed by one of the many protocol droids carrying a tray. On it were three milky blue ‘glass’ cups with a small cap of golden foam. An edible spoon would allow them to eat them, the glass itself was edible and somewhat fragile as well. Rey blinked at it as he smiled it was not something they indulged in often. As a celebration treat it was usually reserved for the sole purpose of just that. From the rare colorant used to dye the main portion to the golden foam, and the edible glass and spoon all took a week to make. 

“No, there was little time, Luke said you needed me immediately. He explained a bit more once I was on the way however.” Rey grimaced but bowed her head when he handed her one of the cups, then Leia, and took the last for himself. 

“I’ve only heard of this, Saffrin is it not?” Leia asked. Vandorack nodded. “What is the occasion?” 

“It's been confirmed that I have male twins among my concubines.” Leia offered him a thin lipped smile that would not reach her eyes. “Three more old enough to be tested, but all are female.” 

“Yes, twins are a rarity among the Solari.” Leia looked to Rey as if asking if this was news to her, or maybe if it was okay with her. “Particularly male ones.” 

“It is a worthy celebration.” Vandorack said, taking bites of his own. “Made from a Alderaan flower bulbs, I’ll be sure to have a few sent to the Living Alderaan botanical house if they do not have any.” Rey took a spoonful of hers. It wasn’t overpoweringly sweet, but it tasted just like flowers smelled. Whatever upset stomach she had vanished for the rare thing, or it could just be the properties of what made up the golden foam. A rare bulbous plant it was that took decades to cultivate on Solari worlds. But now was well on its way to being one of their major cash crops as it was used in the manufacture of various medicines.

“Why thank you sir. Are you planning on joining the federation?” Vandorack laughed. “It is no joke, and we are trying to gain more traction.” 

“Sounds like you are desperate since it has been made more than clear where my own loyalties lie.” he replied. Leia sighed but took a few bites of her own treat. 

“Rey, would you tell me what happened with Luke?” Leia asked and barely tilted her head towards Vandorack. “We can talk… without speaking if you really need to.” Leia paused a moment. 

“What can be said, can be said in front of my husband.” Rey answered. “It was a fight, and a lot of things that had happened had piled up. It is not a fault of your own.” 

“Rey, what happened really?” Rey frowned. 

“Luke decided that I was some sort of sith lord.” Vandorack chuckled. “I hadn’t even been there for an hour before he blamed me for Mara’s death, which I had to learn about from Ben.” she gave Leia a hard look.

“I apologize, but we did not think you…” Leia frowned. “You were married and thus should be happy at his time.” 

“Should be.” Rey mumbled and took a bite out of the glass of the cup, it was a crisp sort of thing and tasted like fresh water that had not been filtered. A quasi mineral sort of taste but it was one of her favorite bits. “Was there a funeral?” 

“Yes, once we found her body.” Leia replied. “Luke was hurting Rey, and he lashed out.” 

“Excuses are just that, excuses.” Leia grimaced. “Him hurting does not excuse him from deciding to hurt me.” 

“From what he said you hurt him just as much.” Rey ate the end of the spoon, a thick sort of candy confection with more pure sugar taste that anything else. “Rey please, I don’t know much what is going on. There…” Leia sighed. “There is so much to do.” 

“Then go on and do it. Don’t go sacrificing your precious time on my part.” Leia blinked at the verbal slap. 

“I understand if you feel like you can’t reach out. But you can.” Leia reached out and touched Rey’s hand. “We are here for you.” 

“I have to wonder why you say that now of all times.” Leia drew back. “Luke told me all the time to reach out to him, to try to see him as something. Now the word alludes me as to what he presented himself as…” Leia winced. 

“Father perhaps?” Vandorack supplied. Rey nodded finishing off the treat. 

“I think that was it. Now when I reached out to him, when I was at my lowest. When I truly needed him…” Rey held a hand out, Vandorack circled his arm around her shoulders. “He decided to completely reject me. So, now I reject him and all his teachings.” 

“I am truly saddened to hear this Rey.” Leia wanted to scowl, but could only feel depression. “Was it truly that horrible?” 

“It was the culmination of events in our lives.” Rey sounded distant. “I was told my whole life how Luke abandoned becoming a true Jedi for his family. Why would I think as…” Rey paused and looked to Vandorack as if for permission. 

“Tell her, after all it will be common knowledge soon no?” he prompted. 

“Tell me what Rey?” Rey remained quiet for a moment longer. 

“As a Palpatine it seems like…” Leia breathed in quickly. “That family is something that is not for me.” Leia shook her head. 

“There is no reason why being… this that you are being hurt. I don’t care Rey. My own father is Vader.” 

“Yet people still judge you. I grow tired of this Leia and wish to retire to my rooms.” Leia sighed and nodded. “No need to come here on your too busy for birthdays schedule.” Leia winced at the mention. 

“Will you still speak to me?” Vandorack stood and helped Rey up without a word, it was a gesture that made Leia frown. “Please.” 

“In about a month. If your spies are good, you’ll know why exactly.” Rey bowed her head. “The droids, or our people can show you out. If you need to stay then you can sleep in one of the guest rooms.” Still holding onto one hand Vandorack led her out and she let him. Rey did not expect her to stay, she would hope Leia went to go rail against Luke for a few hours. But that wouldn’t do much of anything. 

Vandorack squeezed her hand hard enough to bruise before letting it go in just in front of her private room. The sole place where she felt safe enough to sleep. “Am I to be invited?” he asked as she looked down and away. 

“I prefer it in your chambers.” She answered. “However if you want to see if I can recall some of those plans you will leave.” He took her hand and kissed the back of the glove before leaving her. Rey shuddered in the aftermath, unlocking her door and shutting it to press up against it with her eyes squeezed closed. Meditation, as always, was hard to come by. 

Having to introspect was a painful experience that grew all the more painful as time went on. She was sure that some of him did live inside of her head somewhere. While that was not an excuse for her own behavior it led her to think that maybe it was a reason. Why did no one love her aside from empire fanatics? Because a part of the emperor still lived on inside of her. Making herself comfortable, Rey breathed a few long breaths as she turned herself inwards, seeking the oldest memories. 

_ ‘Its okay sweetie.’ she heard her mother say, vision was not a part of this memory until they passed through something. It lighting was dull, and the smell of ozone was thick in the air. _

_ ‘He just wants to see you.’ her father said next. There was a dull quality to their voices. But only adult Rey would notice the difference between the voices from when her parents sold her, to these ones. Rey frantically looked around she wanted to ask her mom and dad to run. But they held onto her hands tightly as she stood in a narrow doorway. Outside of it was a large arena with a throne. A huge machine sat there and attached to it was something terrible.  _

_ ‘Go on.’ her mother pressed on her back pushing her through the door. Rey tried to grab her mother, to beg and ask her to stop but her legs moved on her own as she look back reaching out a hand for her. But they didn’t move, they barely blinked as Rey was called forward by the monster attached to the machine.  _

_ It was a rotting thing, barely able to live, she had watched it do something horrible that she forgot about but knew. She knew it had done that horrible thing when she was just a little younger. ‘Little thing.’ it spoke Rey looked down. She let out a sob and shook. _

_ ‘Mom?’ she called quietly. It laughed. ‘Dad?’ just as quiet but the monster wasn’t done with just making her scared. It reached a hand out and lightning flashed out and hit her. The most intense pain Rey had ever felt raced through her. A mind not her own, something that was so alien and hurtful it was only instinct that saved her. Rey lashed out, and heard a scream that was not her own. She was dropped and stared back at the monster as it remained silent. The monster was dead, Rey looked down at herself. She felt like she should be dead, having her guts hanging out but she was whole.  _

_ The monster had to eat things like her to survive. She curled up and sobbed, the mind was still there, and all she wanted to do was not to hurt anymore. The alien mind that was there, is what she sought as Rey as she was now looked down at herself. Rey gave a brief glance towards how her parents took several hours to shake out of the mental control to go to her. Rey’s only comfort as a child was her own hands and arms hugging herself. They barely ever touched her, creating an intense void inside of herself.  _

_ Palpatine’s thoughts and memories were almost like some kind of infection, a festering boil in her mind that she shut out. He wasn’t alive, not really, but it was still there staining her. In the strange headspace she was Rey imagined it almost like a great hall, and at the end of it, at the end of what made up Rey was this moldering pile of a corpse. As an adult Rey was not scared of it, she was angry. Maybe it was the creature itself that laid the foundation of anger, being angry that a child of all things is what killed it.  _

_ She bent down and touched it, scanning the memories inside of it with an emotional detachment. It tried to squirm away, but it was in her mind, and she was in full control of herself. It was not alive. Clones, millions of them, one in every ten thousand had even a trace of the force. It was one of those strange quirks, he had to reach out to find ones that could create what he needed. Needed to get out of the machine, to stop rotting away.  _

_ Sacrifices must be made, but she wasn’t there for those memories. Rey instead sought out older ones, and found what she was looking for. The whole base itself was useless and it was mostly designed around the weapon in question. It was an awful sort of thing, but this is what she wanted and what little the mass could think, was happy. Rey pulled away from it, it was now as much part of her as anything else.  _

_ ‘This is what Balance meant I think.’ she told herself, the end of the hall, changed melting away from what it once was. The mass shifted and changed, becoming a series of doors. All in all it made up only a few doors, there was little of it left after all. This thing was as much as a part of her as all her other memories and it was a long time coming that she accepted it fully.  _

_ Rey turned about to head outside of her mind when she felt a searing blast of pain. Staggering, a fear rushed into her, a voice. Ben. Ben was hurt. Ben was hurt. Rey rushed out of herself with little thought or care to her own body. Ben was hurting that was all that mattered..  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of it like this. Vandorack gets off on controlling and hurting something as powerful as Rey. This is not condoning, or saying his actions are any less evil and bad. But saying this is one of the reasons why he abuses Rey. Knowing that she can't divorce him herself out of fear of causing a galatic war.


	21. Ben 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben confronts Luke one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets his scar like this!

It was night when he gathered up all the kids, there were a few more now that Rey and Luke had their fight. Ben was nervous, he was scared almost but hid it all as he guided the nearly seventy kids of various ages towards the Falcon. He had been able to tether seven more transport vessels to the Falcon, but it wasn’t going to be easy getting into space with this. Each little vessel had its own propulsion that would let him tow it, but those systems were not powerful enough to escape the gravity of the planet. 

“Hurry.” he guided them into the little vessels feeling like a mother bird taking her young to safety. It was going to be a tight squeeze, and pretty soon the sabotages were going to stop being just that. There was a crack, as the storm that had been threatening to start finally unleashed itself. As a lightning storm it quickly raced through the clouds as the two storms clashed and emitted the long streaks of electricity. 

Ben felt a prickling sensation and turned taking a few long strides outside of the yard and while he rushed out he grabbed his saber. Luke stood gaping at the scene. Ben panted and put himself between the children and Luke. “Ben what are you doing?” Luke tried to sound calm but the stress was clear in his voice. 

“We’re all leaving.” Ben swallowed, he didn’t want to make this confrontation and he was scared. “You can’t stop us.” 

“Ben just stop.” Luke raised his hands up and Ben flinched. “You can’t do this.” 

“I am, everyone get on the ships.” he didn’t dare look away from Luke, keeping a wary stance. Luke frowned, almost grimacing. 

“I won't let you take them, you can’t take them.” Luke stressed. “Just calm down, we can talk.” Ben shook his head. 

“Like you talked with her? Hell no. You don’t get that right anymore Luke. We’re leaving.” Ben backed up a step. He was shaking and scared, Luke should be busy trying to stop some of the things going on, instead he was here. 

“I won't let you.” Luke stepped up and Ben lit the saber holding it up and startling Luke enough that he lept back about two feet. He quickly lit his own saber as the two plasma beams hissed as rain hit them. “You don’t want to do this Ben.” 

“I am taking them and you can’t stop me.” Ben replied. Ben didn’t move first, he put the blade up defensively as Luke moved more to disarm rather than attack. Trying to knock the blade out of his hand via the force, Ben shoved the knock back. A few scared calls of the children, a good portion ran from the scene. Ben grit his teeth and shoved, swiping the blade out in a quick few strikes that Luke blocked easily. 

Of course he blocked them easily, he wanted them all so weak not a single one of the students could confront him. “Ben, please calm down.” Luke stressed. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

‘ _ I want to hurt you _ .’ Ben whispered, only moving his lips. Luke needed to be hurt, he needed it. He hurt Rey, so it was only fair to Ben. Ben stood firm waiting, as Luke grimaced. He got tired of waiting and rushed Luke growing more and more angry when all Luke did was either block the saber, or avoid it. Clearly trying to make Ben tired himself out to pacify him without a large battle. Ben reached out, and shoved Luke back with a sudden wave. Luke rolled in the air, landing down in a low crouch and stood quickly.

This time Luke attacked, and Ben scrambled to defend himself. Luke froze as the sabers hissed and nearly screamed as they were held against each other. Ben moved the saber, in a circle twisting it in order to try to slice off Luke’s arm. Luke instead shut off his saber for a second then as soon as the threshold of the blade passed his pressed it on. Ben was granted maybe a fraction of a second to try to react, but Luke was faster. 

A blinding flash of pain and Ben staggered back and slipped on the ground as his face felt like it was on fire. He landed breathless looking up at Luke. It was a quick feeling, a pure terror that rushed into him as Luke held his saber above him. A crack, Luke lept backwards as it looked like a bolt of lightning struck down from the sky. She materialized there in a halo of pure energy, the cracking fingers of electricity danced around her. “Ben?” Rey looked down at him, and slowly turned towards Luke. 

“Rey?” Ben didn’t answer her, it was Luke that spoke as she turned fully to the jedi master. “What are you, Rey stop this, you’ll die if you continue.” Luke’s saber had shut off just as it burned the line into his face, it hadn’t shut off quick enough to not damage him. 

“You.” she hissed out. That groveling anger raced into the world, he felt her reach out and four of the remaining children blankly raced to his side. “Get him on the ship.” she commanded not looking at them, the force shook with the command racing out from her real body. “You. Hurt. Ben.” she snapped towards Luke as the four grabbed him. Trying to get his limp body off the ground. 

“Rey, I didn’t mean to.” Luke held his hands up, one still with the saber in it. “Please stop. You’ll kill yourself.” He looked to Ben and stepped forwards. There was a rumble, thunder Ben thought. Something had been destroyed rather, and with a tiny flash of red a destroyed saber with a red crystal floated to Rey’s hand. It lit, and she struck with Luke barely lighting the saber in time as he blocked the hit. 

Ben watched as the skin around her hand near the crystal began to flake away in a burn, but she ignored it as she struck out in quick movements. Luke sliced at her hand, and despite a wave of terror from Ben it did nothing. She was not really there, but it was the pause in the aftermath as Luke backed away that she glared at him. “Rey, I am defending myself.” Luke said Rey looked down to where his saber had tried to slice off her arm. “Please stop.” 

“No.” She thrust her arm out and force lightning crackled out of her hand, Luke brought his saber out blocking it, and pulled at the force sending all the energy upwards into the storm. “Ben is hurt.” she stepped towards Luke slashing, Luke blocked but the red saber was now being fed with a lot more energy, red tendrils of power were racing out. With every blow Luke winced, until with a blow his prosthetic hand exploded and he went down. Ben finally got up on his feet as Rey panted. 

Her body looked much more thin, the force eating away her body mass. “Rey stop.” he breathed out, she wasn’t listening as she stared down at Luke. Holding onto it she brought it above her head and froze as Luke stared up at her. Rey let out a sob and the saber clicked off, dropping to the ground behind her. The red crystal that had been in there had grown as it hit his shoe. Ben grabbed it, as Rey drooped down to one knee. 

Luke winced as he scrambled up reaching with his only hand out towards her. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” The words came out panicked. Luke was thrown backwards and Ben wasn’t even sure if she intended it for Luke or something else. Luke vanished into the temple as Rey put her hands to her face. She was see through as she reached out and called to the storm. All the lightning raced into a single spot just above the temple brighter than the moon it glowed. The world went quiet as she dropped it directly onto the temple and it exploded in both flame and showering the area with rocks. Ben scrambled with the kids, running out as Rey vanished from sight. 

It was just him and the four others as he lifted off, the tethers snapping off the Falcon and dropping the containers, whether they had students in them was not something Ben cared about, he tilted the ship out racing out of the planet as he leaned back into the seat panting. Pain still seared into him as the four kids huddled together in the seating somewhere behind him on the ship. Whether or not they still were more loyal to him wasn’t up for debate, they had to be as he picked out the communicator into his hand. 

It beeped for a short few moments before it was answered. “I had always wondered when exactly you’d call.” he said. Ben grimaced it was Ren.

“This isn’t Rey.” he winced and felt an explosion of pain that nearly made him pass out. The adrenaline running out he figured. “I’m not going to be able to stay conscious, but she gave this to me. I need your help.” Ren went quiet. 

“The kid.” Ben felt his vision darken. “Where are you then?” Ben glanced down at the cords displayed on the ship. 

“Sending.” he tapped it out and dropped bonelessly on the pilot seat. “I have kids here… four. Don’t hurt them.” 

“As if I would.” Ben passed out into darkness with that hazy promise. If Rey trusted this man then so did he. 


	22. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up in the hospital.

She woke to the hum of machines around her. There was a constant sort of drone and the near quiet hiss of hydraulics as droids busied themselves around her. Rey felt a bone-deep sort of ache that had her fighting to even open her eyes. Her whole body felt weak and it was a trial to try to get her eyes open. A constant sort of choking sensation was in her throat and it was exhausting as she finally winced her eyes open. “Oh dear, are you awake?” the droid’s voice was familiar. “Oh dear, I must go tell someone.” 

‘Threepio?’ she wanted to ask but couldn’t speak. She struggled to try to move her hand, it moved slowly over her chest where her arms had been put along her sides. 

“Do not attack do you understand?” a human voice called to her. Rey let her eyes fall closed as she couldn’t keep them open anymore. Agonizingly someone approached her like she was a danger as she was. Deep confusion was racing through her mind, the only thing that didn’t move slowly and hurt at this point. “I am going to touch you, I mean no harm. I am a doctor.” the voice said and she felt a hand on her own. 

‘What is going on?’ she tried to ask again but couldn’t muster anything other than a gurgle. 

“You have a breathing tube and a gastric tube.” the doctor told her and there was a beep as her heart rate increased. The doctor backed away fast like she was about to hurt and kill him. “Do not hurt me.” 

‘I don’t want to.’ she wanted to say, she groaned as the doctor slowly pushed back towards her. The memories of what could have happened were hard to come by at the moment as the doctor stood by her. 

“You have been lashing out against anything living that comes near you unless you are well sedated. I do apologize if you are scared of me. But I intend no harm.” Rey felt confusion fill her, why would she hurt people trying to help her? “Leia allowed a protocol droid in and it seemed to keep you calmer.” A hand on her shoulder and she could feel the intense fear of the doctor. A few flashes of people being thrown from her as she used the force to keep everyone away from her. 

“We are unsure what had happened,” he explained. “But you killed the first one that had found you.” Rey shivered. “I want to ask that you do not attack anymore people.” Rey frowned and did her best to nod. “Good, I will reverse the sedation now. You will feel a light pinch.” he busied himself around her shooing droids when they got in the way. There was a pinch and in just a few moments she no longer felt that intense sluggishness in her body as she tried to gasp in roughly. 

Blinking her eyes open she stared at the doctor. An average looking human she stared at him as checked her vitals continuing to give her wary glances. “I will be taking out the breathing tube now. It will feel like you are choking.” She forced her hands to stay at her sides as the doctor removed the breathing tube allowing her to control her own breathing now. “The gastric tube will likely stay until you can feed yourself. We will try in a few hours if you show promise.” 

“Where am I?” she asked hoarsely. It came out more like ‘whe-m-i’ as she gagged on the dry throat. 

“The main Solari world, and in the Lakerose medical center.” A small tube was put into her throat and a tiny trickle of water leaked out letting her swallow, and choke partly on trying to get used to swallowing again. Rey shuddered as the doctor finally left telling her to rest as droids cleaned around her. One of which was giving her a tepid sponge-bath. Rey got glimpses of her arms much more thinner than she remembered and wracked her brain. 

The last she recalled she was finally learning of just what was in her mind fully. Accepting things, she cringed away from a memory. Threepio chose after she was redressed to come back hovering over her. “Three-” she mumbled and tried to sit up, but one of the droids put a hand out keeping her down. At least she died sound like she never drank water. The doctor had left the water tube in her mouth so she could take a drink whenever she wanted to. Managing out what would be coming after was not something she wanted to think about. 

“Threepio, what happened?” she managed out, the droid looked at her. 

“Queen Leia was hoping you would tell us. I am not sure if I should tell you what has happened until you are well.” another alarm as her heart rate increased again. Rey sucked at the tube soothing more of her rough feeling throat. Maybe there was something in the water but it worked to quickly at least make it feel like she didn’t swallow needles and thorns. 

“Did I really kill someone?” she asked the droid and he went quiet. “Who?” 

“Jedi Master Tai.” Rey blinked and stared at the ceiling. Why would she kill Tai? Despite how she felt about him Tai was a good person. She didn’t want to kill him, but apparently she did kill him. “We thought he could have hurt you.” Threepio supplied. “You were nearly dead when they found you.” 

“Okay.” It was more like a flash, like a rush of pain as she recalled what had happened. She remembered standing there looking down at Luke as she was about to kill him. For the first time since she had known him she felt his fear and couldn’t. Then there was someone there right in front of her, and she didn’t know who exactly in that second. Rey reflected it must have been Tai coming to see if she was okay after his rest. She regretted it, she thought. But couldn’t make herself feel horrible about it. Ben was hurt and any loss to rectify that was worth it. 

Rey reached out, and her whole body went into a painful spasm making her groan. Her body did not like it that she had done what she did. Her condition was likely from what she had been able to do. Defy the stars and space between and even affect the world he was on. Rey detached herself from the pain and trailed along what she knew was Ben. 

He seemed startled, and a relief rushed into him. She couldn’t see him, but feeling him alive and whole made her body relax. The pain was still there but it was like a taught muscle finally relaxed. It was exhausting just to try this.  _ ‘Rey you should rest _ .’ his voice spoke along the stars. 

_ ‘I just needed to know you were safe.’  _ she admitted. She could almost feel like he kissed her forehead. 

**‘Ben.’** Rey only realized when Leia spoke that in this hazy area of the force that she had been followed.  **‘Come home.’** Leia said, and there was a sensation of a slamming door, but it wasn’t hers. A hand touched hers and held it. 

_ ‘I am just a bit roughed up Rey. You rest. _ ’ she shivered.  _ ‘I’ll come for you when I’m strong enough to protect you.’  _

_ ‘You don’t need to be, I should be protecting you _ .’ a hand cupped her cheek. 

_ ‘You’ve done so much Rey, let me protect you.’ _ she nodded, already feeling so exhausted that her consciousness was slipping away. ‘ _ I might not be able to talk, but I am here. Always _ .’ he told her as she slipped back into her body. It burned and ached just like she left it, but there was a weight off her shoulders. 

“Rey? Are you well?” Threepio asked her. “Shall I call the doctor?” she shook her head. 

“No, I’m okay. I’m really tired, can you please turn the lights out?” Threepio waddled over to the lights shutting them off. Now it was only illuminated by the eerie glows of the droids and medical equipment. She didn’t so much as fall asleep as pass out into pure darkness. No memories, no nightmares assaulted her. Maybe she was too exhausted, but it was one of the first dreamless sleeps of her life. 


	23. All your sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey speaks to Leia once she is well enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I forget to say Vandorack gets his due?

Leia was waiting for her when she woke up, enduring another sponge bath as her doctor checked over her. Asking what felt like a hundred questions. At least it was all about her physical nature and not anything about what had caused this. That was waiting for her as the doctor left her giving her a wary glance as he did so. Unlike Vandorack this male had black hair pulled into the long braid, this one doubled back over itself so that it was out of the way and tacked onto his head. 

A small rolling chair was rolled in as Leia came in; she settled by Rey as she tried to think of just how exactly to tell Leia that she might have a dead brother. “How long have I been unconscious?” Rey asked her voice far less hoarse now that she could drink water when she wanted to. 

“Nine days.” Leia answered making Rey blanch. “I know. I was so worried over Ben.” Leia frowned and sighed. “Do you know what happened?” 

“I… think so.” Rey didn’t look at Leia. “Is Luke dead?” 

“No, we… I have no idea where he went.” Leia admitted looking to Rey. “I was hoping you would know, you and I are the last people to go there.” 

“We had a fight Leia, I…” Rey sat up shaking with the effort. “I just know Ben is okay.” 

“It was a relief to know that too, I am sorry for following you to him. But every time I reached for him he shut me out.” 

“It’s okay. You should know he’s okay too.” Rey smiled at Leia. “What happened exactly?” Leia grimaced looking away. 

“Rey, you are in…”

“Please.” Rey begged. “I’ll be fine.” 

“We know at least forty seven children died.” Rey’s heart rate slammed up. “Twenty three were wounded, but survived, and seventeen are missing. Those missing were all the eldest there, along with Luke. It appears they left as soon as the medical team arrived telling no one where they were going.” Leia put both her hands in her lap. “Do you know what happened Rey?” 

“I killed them.” Leia blinked and shook her head. “I did. I don’t know how exactly. But it's all my fault I…” Leia stood and reached out to Rey touching her shoulder. “It really is my fault.” Leia shook her head and hugged Rey. 

“I know you believe that, but I know you Rey. You would never kill anyone you didn’t have to.” Rey shuddered, hugging Leia back. “We believe it was the first Order…” Leia told her after a long moment, she pulled back with one hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Snoke might have done this entirely. We have so little information on just what he can do Rey.” 

“Leia, I really mean it. I really was the one who did this.” Leia frowned. 

“Rey, this can’t be you. There is no way you were able to get there and back in this time-frame. You never left your room. Anyone, even me and Luke combined couldn't do such a thing.” Rey wanted to tell her again, go into details, but even then Rey didn’t think Leia would believe her. Rey felt horrible and disgusted with herself that any amount of relief touched her. “Why do you think it is your fault?” 

“We had that fight, and this soon after?” Rey supplied rising a hand to touch her cheek, a few tears were getting past her guard. “Please Leia, I was the one who killed everyone. I thought I killed Luke.” the older woman shook her head again. 

“Just because you fought does not mean it is your fault. You had good reason to fight Rey.” Rey stared at her willing her to believe that she herself was a murderer. Leia pulled out a small box and held it up to Rey. Rey noticed her name on it, along with a short note attached to it and handwritten.  _ ‘Do not look for me, just know he deserved it _ .’ Ben didn’t sign his name, but Rey knew his hand writing anywhere. 

“These are your call transcripts. I am so sorry that you had to go through this alone Rey.” Rey swallowed as Leia put the box back into her pocket. “I thought Ben was hurt badly. I felt him get hurt and went there as soon as I could. I had to personally see the dead Rey. Then when I had word of your illness I had to go to you too. It was too coincidental.” 

“You… you really came for me that soon?” Rey asked quietly. Leia smiled softly towards Rey. 

“I did, I am so sorry Rey that I missed you reaching out to me.” Rey nodded, it felt too little too late, but it was something. It didn’t feel as soothing as she thought, but there was no longer just a bitter feeling inside of her on that aspect of her life. “Why didn’t Luke help you?” 

“I am on at least talking terms with the… leader of the men who killed Mara Jade… he was my first, um… experience.” Rey blushed not looking at Leia. 

“I see.” Leia went silent. “He never tried to hurt you?” 

“No! He was… gentle even.” Leia bobbed her head once. “I refused to go with him, though he almost begged me to leave with him.” 

“Why didn’t you leave with him?” Leia asked. 

“I couldn’t, not while Ben was there. Not while I had Ben. He needs… needed me.” Leia smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, it really is all my fault.” 

“You aren’t the only one who failed Rey. So many of us failed along the way.” Leia stood again and gave Rey a short hug. “Get some rest again, as soon as you can we need to see if Ben will…” 

“He won't.” Leia frowned as Rey cut her off. “He, he wants to get stronger.” 

“Why?” Rey shook her head. 

“He said it was to protect me. But I… I should be the one protecting him.” Leia patted Rey’s back. 

“You have been, you’ve been protecting him since he was a baby Rey. When do you think he will come back?” 

“I’ll try to tell him to come home.” 

“Thank you…” Leia grimaced. “I don’t think you want to hear this, but your husband Rey?” Rey nodded. “He’s been missing for fourteen hours now. No one knows where he is.” 

“Has anything been done?” 

“Legally we must wait a full galactic cycle to report it fully to the galaxy at large. Your people are looking for the transponders in his personal ship.” Rey nodded. “Like I said, get some rest. Tomorrow will be a much longer day.” 

“Thank you Leia. Please, ask… the rebellion to look for him too.” Leia put on a fake smile. 

“I’ll be sure to.” The kind of faint promise left Rey with a shiver as she laid back down on the hospital bed. Leia did not sound nor feel like she would do that sort of thing. But Rey knew if she was implicated in Vandorack’s sudden departure then this entire thing would be useless. It was already all but that. Rey grimaced, an extra shipment of something would probably sate Leia, or maybe less tolls and taxes and the like for their side so they could pass through Solari space more easily. That should smooth things over with Leia once she found out, or if she found out and was waiting to spring it on Rey. 

She rolled over onto her side, the bed shifting and changing with its somewhat spongy material to cater to her new position. Rey felt like sinking into the bed and vanishing forever. She had told the truth but Leia didn’t believe her. Or maybe couldn’t. Rey shivered trying to pull the sparse covering over her better, in a few moments the gastric tube would be removed and she could try to eat real food instead of the meal being steadily pumped into her stomach. 

Rey grimaced, being careful as she reached out again, making sure no one was trailing behind her. Just like before the force as it settled into her body caused intense pain. Ignoring it as she just barely touched her fingers on the outside of Ben’s consciousness. She felt a mix of statisfication yet also a touch of shame, Ben perked up. He seemed to gently wave at her, and she left, getting the picture he didn’t want to talk. Relaxed Rey let sleep pull her under again, falling down into the depths of darkness. 

_ ‘Just what do you want?’ It was Vandoracks voice. Rey scowled as she tried to open her eyes to see what exactly was going on. But there was a hand over her eyes. ‘Money?’  _

_ ‘No.’ it was Ren’s voice. ‘It seems like I get the pleasure of seeing what will happen.’ Rey reached up and touched the hand it felt familiar yet also not.  _

_ ‘You are a bunch of fools if you think my people will let this go by unchallenged.’ Ren chuckled, and Rey shivered as she felt the feeling in the air. A small door in a ship hissed open, the familiar sort of whine of the Falcon that always seemed to make a distinct sort of noise. From the engines to the doors and subtle electronic vibrations within.  _

_ A hand circled around her waist and she froze as she felt whoever it was behind her pull her closer to them. ‘You won't get away with hurting me. If you just stop no one will have to-’ there was a garbled noise. Rey realized with a dark shiver he was being strangled. It was a long time after the sounds stopped that finally the arm loosened and a few indistinct voices spoke. The hand slowly fell off her face as she blinked into the dark.  _

_ There was nothing else but that as the hand traveled down her throat gently cupping it. Despite the knowledge that Vandorack was strangled it never occurred to her to be scared. It dropped going down to her hip as whoever it was leaned a little down and breathed in. ‘Did you enjoy listening in?’ it sounded like Ben, but his voice was deeper. ‘Did you want to watch as he dies? Feel it as I ripped the life from his body?’ she shuddered, shutting her eyes. She found she didn’t care, in fact a pure sense of relief filled her as she leaned back.  _

_ ‘No, that’s all I needed.’ A low noise, it almost was between a growl and a groan. ‘Ben?’ she asked and slowly the ‘Ben’ behind her shook his head no. His nose brushing through her hair. ‘I’m not scared of you.’ _

_ ‘I know.’ he spoke and kissed her forehead. ‘Stay safe.’ she smiled nodding. The pull of whatever it was faded and she was deposited into what had to be her own mind. Just like with the past few days no nightmare raced into her mind, and she was free to have the strange sort of esoteric dreams that had been coming. From wandering in waist high fields, to sitting on the edges of streams letting her feet soak in cold waters. Each thing in her dream was a soft sort of shifting reality, there wasn’t a spike of fear or touch of nightmares just yet. And she wondered as she felt the strange quasi warmth of the sun if they would come back.  _


	24. Old Friends and hostile takeovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey declares Vandorack dead and the people follow her to expand into the neutral zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'is this how democracy dies?' maybe. But the Solari as kind of implied via the weapons manufactory and wedding fights like war and fighting. With the two factions at war it gives them 1 lots of money 2 plenty of people can go to either side to get their fix on fighting and 3 free expansion into the DMZ/Neutral zone.

"My husband Vandorack has now been declared dead.” Rey told the recorders. She was frowning, and hopefully astere. “I will always, still hold out hope and it is only the laws that we of the Solari have that have him be declared dead.” Rey looked down. She hated having to declare any type of love or admiration for someone that had made her life miserable for six months. “I hope that the way that I have asked of us becomes the way in full. We should expand, and flourish as we once did.” she looked up not at the cameras, but to the sky above her. 

“Regardless of the war around us, we remain strong, and steadfast. You thrived for centuries, and all I wish for even as an outsider is the same. You have all welcomed me as one of your own and I will hold that dead to my heart forever.” she touched her chest, and wavered a little. She put her hand back down leaning heavily on the podium even after all these months doing anything seemed to be exhausting. While she wasn’t in front of an audience she could imagine the mumble of concerned voices. 

“He lives on within his children.” Rey said and panted. “Two twin boys, a miracle.” Rey made a motion with her arm, and from where she was projected from was revealed. “I have also done this,” she paused to let people marvel. There outside of where she was was a building much like the other fertilization clinics, however it was the main hub of what she had asked for months ago. “I have asked all of the First Order, and of the Rebellion, to supply us with genetics that all can use. My husband himself has enough of his genetics for three hundred children and more to be made. I hope that this soothes some of the fear that he has been wholly lost. He has not, and will live on in so many.” she looked down again. “I am afraid this is all I can do. I must retire and rest.” she nodded and was guided down by a medical droid into a floating access chair. Rey slumped down shutting her eyes as she was guided out and away from the cameras. 

Leia hadn’t confronted her about the more exclusive deal Rey had offered the First Order. But Rey had offered it to those with her as a much further cold war as the Solari slowly expanded outwards. Rey frowned as she was given a short briefing on their work on Jakku. Seventy ships so far were well on their way to repair. Retrofitting them was going to be another ordeal, then there was what she had promised to Vandorack. One can’t play both sides of a war if they were weak and Rey’s intent was not going to allow that. 

“Did Hux send the information needed?” She asked, Kaytoo nodded and she swiped at the materials he had requested. While khyber was on top of the list of her ‘look for a super weapon’ it wasn’t on his. Rey worked over the materials feeding them into a larger computer that would extrapolate on what exactly he could try to have made from the materials he requested. Other than that, she gratefully sunk into her more private rooms with a sigh of relief. 

She didn’t have that many human guards and for the most part droids didn’t request money and compensation. Despite the exhaustion she felt she went over the progress of her own plans. It would be five each in order to take the strain needed to be able to form the whole weapon, however each one had its own more miniaturized weapon. While it could take a while to actually shoot, the ships could be placed in a rough five pointed simple star pattern and reflect all the beams onto a dish placed out there by a tie fighter or any vessel. This would be the planet killing weapon, while not the best. It was far more mobile that any other weapon of this magnitude.

It at least wasn’t an easily destroyed base, and it was far more maneuverable. “A Supreme Master Ren is seeking entrance. He has no credentials at the entrance of this estate.” Kaytoo perked up as she was about to settle herself into a lounge chair and sleep. Maybe reach out to see if Ben wanted to talk as she faded into the strange fact of her lack of nightmares. Rey frowned at the droid. “Shall we arrest him?” 

“As much as I want to, _NO_.” The once private collection, head only, droid looked at her. “Go get him please, and don’t be gentle.” Kaytoo perked up with that and left her as she settled back into the chair leaning against the raised portion. Kaytoo ‘dead’ in storage here, Rey wanted to fix something, to in the end feel like she had done something. At the time she didn’t even think the droid was subtly famous and knew Cassion Andor and Jyn Eyrso. Once she knew that, Rey had planned on giving him to Luke or Leia. It was a pleasant thought, maybe even considered a bribe of sorts. Rey didn’t even know the storm that had come and gone. 

“I am almost insulted that you didn’t choose cuffs.” Ren taunted her not even greeting her. 

“If you hurt Kaytoo I will have you in them.” she told him, he chuckled and walked towards her staying a respectful sort of distance away, Kaytoo followed with a shake of his head. “Good he didn’t try anything Kaytoo?” 

“No ma’am, but he is very fast for a human.” Ren grinned at her as she relaxed. 

“Why are you here?” she asked. 

“To offer my flattery in person.” she glared at him. “Since you have requested for all compatible males for your new people.” he paused as she sighed. “Or perhaps, I just wanted to see you, and had this lovely excuse.” 

“What if I didn’t want to see you.” she pointed vaguely to his hand, now sporting a decent albeit obvious prosthetic. 

“Ah yes… did you learn how it happened?” His smile dropped as he settled into a small chair, Rey nodded. “I did not mean to cause trouble for you, but I did wish to make it so that he suffered as much as you did.” 

“You’d have to slap him around for six months to get that.” she replied and put her hand to her face. “I am upset with you for that.” he smiled at her. “But, it was a long time coming. And I think with what I did… he is suffering quite a bit.” 

“So you wont kill me?” he held a hand out and she shook her head. 

“Did… he tell you what happened?” Rey led and looked to a human guard peeking in. Ren had not moved and looked relatively like he was some old friend at least. The guard left since there was apparently nothing wrong with Rey meeting with a sith lord to the Solari. 

“He did, and even allowed me the honor of seeing it through his eyes. You were truly glorious.” Rey offered a smile at him. “Like a angel wreathed in power.” He thought for a moment. “You want to know why you are like this?” 

“Yes. Luke is well… gone, probably training a few soldiers to kill me. I want to be ready.” she swallowed, wondering if that was true. “You’re the only one I know of who can actually tell me what this,” she gestured to herself. “Is. What I did to myself.” he nodded and stood kneeling beside the couch and touching her hand only. She felt a sort of scan, it wasn’t like the scanning she was taught to, instead it only seemed to touch her body and just that. In a way it was like the way Leia scanned her not long after Rey had woken up. 

“It appears you drained your life force to fuel your deeds.” she scowled at him. “Body fat, muscle mass, nerve endings, spinal fluid.” he explained. 

“It hurts everytime I use the force.” she told him and frowned. 

“I can’t imagine why.” she glared to him as he smiled and rose kissing her on her forehead before pulling away. “I have no healing talent, you need to seek a force healer. You can imagine that they won’t want me to know a thing about them.” she nodded. 

“Well, it is good to see you. Is… is he alright?” Ren nodded. 

“Don’t you check up on him every night?” he teased. 

“That doesn’t let me know if he is injured or is hurting in another way.” Ren grinned at her. 

“He is well, and is the reason why I am here in fact.” she pushed herself up sitting up. “No, he’s not with me.” 

“Oh.” she leaned back down. 

“He’s replaced me, and in doing so, now leads the knights.” he settled back down in the chair. “I am lucky however he decided to spare me. I had to kill the last master. He wanted me alive to keep a much better guard on you.” 

“Should I feel annoyed or honored I have to deal with you?” he laughed as she grinned at him.

“Honored I would hope, but I know how easily you are to anger.” 

“Well, hand me that,” he stood and gave her the datapad. She quickly went through a few things to pull up her personal guard rotation. “I’ll need you to put in your personal information.” he looked at the datapad as she stared up at him. 

“I technically don’t have any.” she put the pad on her lap as he frowned and then sighed smiling again. “I am a clone of a sort, not one of the fast growing ones.” 

“Clone? Of who?” she examined his bone structure, trying to figure it out. 

“Vader, and a few others, genetics mixed in. Count Dooku most in particular, I’m around half of each, though, I may have twi’lek in me as well.” she blinked at him. “Not all the knights. Just me.” he said lastly. 

“I didn’t even ask, but… how old are you?” he chuckled. 

“I was born around… a few years before the fall of the empire. The Emperor finally had enough varied force user DNA in order to try to clone them. However one out of nearly a hundred thousand was the sole sensitive. And even then, there wasn’t one that can be like us.” he gestured between them. “He had the bright idea to indoctrinate females of minor sensitivity to the near-nulls. I was the first batch, and the sole survivor when the Empire fell.” he paused as she frowned in thought. “Though, I might have to change that to one of two suvivors.” 

“Three… there was another one, a baby.” she told him and looked down and away. “I don’t know if it was a clone or actually him, but he was rotting away and used… the life force of the baby to sustain him. He was going to do the same thing to me, but…” she looked up at him. 

“You destroyed him.” Ren didn’t appear to upset that what could be his creator was dead. “Is he dead?” 

“I fucking hope so.” she put her hand up. “But I can’t find the place he would be, I know it has to be in the unknown regions.” he nodded to her. “I’ll get what I can and put you into the rotation here.” 

“I’m glad, I shall enjoy my retirement and foster quiet a few babies I assume.” she shook her head. “I am not that nulled.” 

“I wouldn’t have thought you were. Go on and find an empty guard room and move in.” he bowed to her letting her be alone with Kaytoo after a quick farewell. Rey leaned back against the lounge and grinned. “Five months? That is amazing Ben.” she spoke to herself and left her body behind to ache and be in pain for her daily check-up on him. She didn’t doubt Ren’s words, but it was a habit now and one that she saw no need to break. In a way it felt wonderful, despite the pain it caused her. 

She woke maybe a few hours later to Kaytoo shuffling in a dinner service. She groaned and sat up from the position she had been in. Despite the nap she still felt sore and tired, leaving her to slowly eat the service. Unlike Vandorack she didn’t choose rich foods, instead focusing on a diet that would allow her to gain back the weight burned off from her excursion to the force. While she ate she finished up the last of Ren’s information and submitted it to her guard captain with her orders that he be shuffled into the mix quickly. The excuse being he was a force sensitive mercenary she knew on Jakku. 

Lastly, Rey checked up on the status of Veleana. She had punched Vandorack to get Rey out of the control collar, then once charges were brought, advocated for her freedom. However she dropped off the stars once the Event happened. Rey thought that she could have been picked up by Luke. If she was then she could tell him the tale as she saw it. Rey wasn’t about to mourn the loss of Luke. Not while she was busy trying to handle a weapons empire while expanding Solari space. Right now both sides were trying to gain in numbers of troops and various weapons. 

Rey looked down at a notification, Canto Bight was offering her a free luxury stay. She rejected it for now, once she could not exhaust herself just by existing. A few other missives were waiting for her, shipping manifests, and best of all the compiler was done. Rey looked over the likely senarios. “Like the death star?” she asked aloud. Kaytoo perked up. 

“Of a sort, it uses hyperspace to attack from afar. As she ship, is rather large it is unable to enter into hyperspace itself without at least one hundred auxiliary vessels star destroyer size or larger to help carry the weight of travel.” Rey shook her head. 

“Big is not better. I would guess…” she closed her eyes visualizing how she might design a weapon of this magnitude. Using a small planet as base would help, though planet coring tech like that was banned since before the jedi were at the height of their power. “Hmm not as easy as the death star, but a few powerful explosives on the energy transfer pillars might explode it to un-useablity.” she stroked her chin. 

“I would hazard a guess so. If what you are thinking is what I am thinking. The weapon would require at least a solar body in order to fire.” 

“A star eater? That is impressive.” she nodded to Kaytoo. “Well, food for thought. If the rebellion needs the information they can pay me for it.” She made a reach for a cup and drained the water inside of it. “What do you think?” 

“I think that living on a spaceship is an excellent idea.'' She smiled at Kaytoo. “Less chance of exploding.” 

“Considering things you are right. I don’t think there is a way to shield against that kind of blast either.” She sighed. Rey let her body relax as she finished up her meal, choosing to ignore the dessert before she retired to her private rooms. It was just about to be full Solari nightfall, leaving the world to go dark. Rey looked out of a well shielded window at the twinkling lights and distant ocean towers as she relaxed as her bath warmed. She felt so tired, and it wasn’t even just her body this time. The next few years she would have to play the game of sating each side much better while maintaining her tightening fist around the newfound planets. 

So many were eager to throw their lot in with her and the Solari for the promise of protection. In exchange their DNA was harvested and used for her females who wished for it, and the ones that wished to, sometimes quite conversely were recruited into the army. The sleek fast ships of the Solari were only matched by the newer Tie Fighters. With the refurbished Star Destroyers well on the way as more workers came in from these annexed worlds the work went faster. Or any small battles from local militaries went faster if they actually fought at all. 

The most recent one, giving only a token hour of resistance before it crumpled and begged for the end of the fighting. Rey could wonder what Leia might think but she didn’t. Her exploration into making sure the DMZ was well into a full on neutral belt was well on the way. Dividing the two factions almost completely with very little actual effort on the part of her people. The number of battles decreased as most of the fights would need to take place either within her space, or the others' space. Where no one wanted to be at a disadvantage. 

“Mines.” She mumbled. 

“Mines?” Kaytoo questioned. 

“Yes large hyperspace mines, if that is a hyperspace weapon we can use mines to hopefully shift the directed blast enough to shield planets or even disrupt it entirely.” Kaytoo straightened, and thought for a long moment as he followed her into the bathing room. 

“It is possible, testing would need to be done and I doubt the first order shall be keen on electing to do those tests.” 

“You never know Kaytoo. Maybe they will.” she frowned over a thought. “Those shielding units though, the fractional rate would prevent ships, say for hyperspace travelling ones.” 

“Only someone insane would try to exit hyperspace while the planet's surface is in close proximity.” Rey laughed. “Do I need to call a psyche officer?” 

“No no. I was thinking of a bomb, Kaytoo. Surface disruptors to take out the shields.” the droid nodded to her, continuing to think. “Tell me if the engineers can think of something with these thoughts will you?” 

“I will madam.” The rest of the night was entirely uneventfully leaving her to wake, then face Ren first thing in the morning as her early morning guard. She scowled at him as he helped to gather up a meal for her. 

“Why do you have to be the one in the morning?” she asked him, he smiled at her. 

“No one else wants to deal with a puffed up princess.” he taunted as she scowled. 

“Only you get to insult me.” she snapped and folded her arms in front of her chest. 

“I have thought of something.” he told her as she ate she looked at him with a frown. “When I realized that you came from the same sort of place I did.” 

“What do you mean?” he pushed a glass of juice over to her. 

“You know how the clones are fanatics?” she nodded. “As I am, I was designed to be a fanatic, have you thought you could have the same coding inside of you?” she grimaced taking a sip of the juice.

“Do you want me to be honest?” he bowed his head to her. “Until you I never had a real sexual thought in my head.” he blinked and looked away in thought. “Which isn’t something I want to think about.” 

“I agree.” that conversation was dropped, leaving Rey and him to eat in silence. She had a lot to do today, just like with any other day. Hopefully good news would come, like both sides declaring a truce, but that was never going to happen. The thought came back, engineering things like machines was easy. However the emperor with those at Kamino had taken genetic engineering to the point no clone could break programming. It was a sobering thought that perhaps all her actions ever since she had been born were planned and accounted for by the Emperor. The only thing that soothed it was the fact she had killed him. 

So even if she was programed to say, have sex with Ren and produce children, it was obviously not in full as she did plan on seeking a preventive. Even Ren himself had one, meaning if he was programed as such it wasn’t obviously in effect. So if there was something that prevented her from feeling sexual attraction say for him, then… Rey scowled and looked away to a distant source. 

“Feeling angry?” Ren asked her. 

“If I am programed, then Luke is more than a fucking idiot.” Ren nodded handing her a small hand held fruit pie. “Makes you wonder just how much the force reveals to anyone, least of all him.” 

“He never thought that your intentions could be out of your control.” 

“Or because I knew if anyone actually knew of who my father, grandfather, genetic donor is, then they would want me dead.” Rey hissed out a breath and took a few bites. 

“I do not wish you dead my little Empress.” he grinned to her as she scowled at him. 

“Yes well, you are programmed not to.” she said haughty. “Which considering things, yes. Thank everything you are. Otherwise I might have to kill you.” He laughed at it, and then looked away. 

“He is right,” she gave him a confused look. “You have a way of soothing things and not even knowing it.” 

“What do you mean?” He bent down and kissed her forehead. 

“I don’t think it is a part of what he was, but who you are yourself.” she shook her head. “Which is thoroughly enjoyable.” 

“Are you trying to rile me?” he shook his head pulling away. 

“No.” she flushed and looked away from him. “Unless of course you want to be riled.” 

“Absolutely not.” He shrugged as she rolled her eyes finishing the last of the pie. “I have plenty of credits, how about a new, better prosthetic?” He looked down at his hand. 

“I like this one.” 

“The skin then?” she asked him voice dropping. 

“It is a part of me now, and you’ve fixed it already.” he touched his chest, covered by his set of ‘formal’ clothes from Cloud City. She’d need to have him fit for armor that the Solari wore. “Such magnatomy.” he mocked her. 

“Would you prefer I have you publicly flogged?” he laughed again leaving to her scowl at him. “I despise you.” 

“I would hope so, Empress. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” he bowed mockingly deep to her. 

“Ren, you are banned from speaking to me for the next three days.” she huffed folding her arms in front of her. He didn’t reply and only smiled. “Well?” he shrugged as she glared at him. “Fine speak!” 

“Yes Ma’am.” he nodded his head to her. “Anything you wish I shall do my best to follow.” Rey gaped at him for a moment and rolled her eyes. 

“I’m done eating, have this sent back out, I’m sure someone might be hungry.” she gestured to the table and Ren shook his head no. 

“I am full. Your ire sustains me quite well.” Rey covered her mouth stifling a laugh. “I shall do as you request, then guard you with my low life.” 

“I will not hesitate to kill you Ren.” she snapped pointing a finger at him. He said nothing as he wheeled the meal cart away. 

“You appear to be quite flustered with him.” Kaytoo supplied as she shook her head. 

“Flustered is right, I hate how easily I can like him.” Rey sighed. 

“If you are genetically programmed or had your mind instilled it is quite possible you are designed to enjoy him.”

“Why on earth would I care if I was. It doesn’t matter anymore there are more pressing issues at hand. Did the engineers think about the mines?” Kaytoo shook his head. 

“They have yet to fully calculate the needed size to disrupt the beams. Without a proper attack, or test from it then they can not formulate a plan.” Rey bit her lip. “They are assuming now the Death Star range of power.” 

“That’s a good start at least. I want my people and our annexed planets to be protected.” Kaytoo bowed his head. 

“Does this happen to protect those you claim are allies?” she thought for a moment. 

“It's more along the lines of babysitting two babies. Have to keep them from fighting and destroying half the galaxy while they are at it Kaytoo. Thanks though as always.” 

“I am quite certain that you do not always need to thank me.” 

“I will anyways.” the droid fell silent as it seemed to contemplate this. Rey smiled a bit as she took up her datapad to do her morning correspondence. She was about to head off to a new solar system with her army, though unable to personally attend just yet she was going to have a conference with the leader of this system. Negotiate surrender terms, if they needed to. Otherwise, it was going to be quite easy to take them with a threat like she had. Even if only one ship now had any kind of massive weapon. The threat of it was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly a mistake, but originally Rey thought four would do for basically making a puzzle piece death star, but it takes five. Why? Cause symbolism!


	25. Victim of Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has just finished annexing the very last world along the border of the DMZ when her ship goes out of hyperspace for a distress call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are finally at just about caught to where I am currently writing! Hurray! SO this means updates might slow down. There isn't that much left however.

Rey smiled down at the new, and supposedly last Annexed system, at least she was well enough to travel now. There wasn’t even a token of resistance, the system had jumped into Solari arms the moment she proposed, as the last little bit of the wide swath of the Neutral zone she had created. Almost completely dividing the galaxy in half. Effectively it ended the war when she was halfway through sometime last year. The other two powers did not want to mess with her people. While the First Order sent near thrice daily invites to their monthly ‘meetings’ which she knew was just an excuse to preen and lord over things. 

The ‘rebellion’ was much the same although they wanted her to open up borders and help them free the other side. To stop this nonsense and to join them, Rey shook her head with the thought smiling. “Thanks to all of you who have fought, we celebrate this day as the day we have hopefully established a peaceful line between two warring factions.” 

She paused allowing the translators to do their work. “We of the Solari hope to extend our fullest sympathies to families who have suffered, while we have expanded to cover them within our open arms.” she extended her arms out pausing again. “We accept any and all refugees, all affected by the war. And hope they will live in peace and prosperity here.” Rey looked around at all the cameras. Maybe Luke could be watching, maybe not. She hoped he was, letting him know that he created a new Empire was a wonderful feeling. 

“We of the Solari have expanded our reach, much more so than the height of our former power. Now we can hopefully expand this peace we have created so that none will fear war.” Rey smiled brightly, still pausing for the translators to catch up. “It is my hope that these two sides will realize their foolishness and seek to mend and heal. Rather than continue to try to create war.” she reached her hand out and brought it to her chest. “I thank everyone who had been helping me to create this peace.” she listed off the names of her generals, and notable people that she had been told of. That took the longest time, and she bowed deeply at the end of it. “I am honored that such people exist under me. May we all live in the Glory of Solari light.” Rey backed away and bowed deeply once more before turning away and ending the broadcast by leaving. 

This allowed the various reporters to do their deeds and finish their translations. Rey was shuffled off not exactly under guard but towards her private craft and further to allow her to respond to private correspondence. General Hux, whom was the one she was in steady contact with, was asking, yet again, for her to attend a party just outside her neutral zone. _‘As a sign of trust between all of us._ ’ he stated in the holo. “I would not like to ask you to compromise however the solidarity of you and your people.” she snorted. “Since this takes place so close to your own zone however, I thought it polite to ask if you and your people would attend. As a sign of trust between all of us. I have sent this information to the senate leaders, however. You know as well as I do that they will not come. Unless you and your people do so as well. I thank you so much for your time Lady Rey Solari. I hope that your illness has passed fully.” 

Rey frowned looking down at the information. It was part of protocol, at least hers, that they provide her with all the information she deemed relevant. Including the blueprints for the place they were actually staying at. A sort of floating cruise vessel in Canto Bight. Rey looked over them, finding several instances of areas where one could and very well could hide either an explosive or a small army of people. “General Hux, glad to see you are still in charge of the missives for me. I have seen your request and I humbly decline until my parameters for travel are set. I have noticed several places where security is lax and where almost three dozen people have been recently hired into this ship. You know as well as I do what that spells for those such as me and you. I must be careful General, as you know that anyone as those who seem to enjoy war will do their best to take away all that I have done.” she paused. 

“Although, I do not think my people so incompendant, unlike some forces out there, to exist without a leader like me. They would do excellent without my personal guidance. Could you personally assure me of the same for you and yours? With thanks, General. I do hope that we may speak in time together.” she didn’t shut off the transmission just yet thinking. “I may wish to lax my personal asking for information however. As I only want the safety of my people. Tell me what you may think, General. Again, so long.” she bowed her head to the small recorder and sent it off to him. Leia hadn’t exactly responded the same way. During the time Rey had been expanding her swath of the Galaxy the general, and queen had been beside herself looking for Luke and the rest of the people. 

“Is he alive?” was the sole question Leia sent via text. Rey had checked before the conference and sent back a short ‘yes he is alive’. Which seemed to sate Leia in her personal concerns. She didn’t bother Rey like Hux did, instead blindly trusting Rey’s good intentions. Leia, Rey knew did not enjoy what she had been doing, but it was one way to ensure the cold war between two factions stayed just that. A cold war with hopefully now, no more gains on either side. Now it was a play with her as the main set. As with her position Rey basically ‘owned’ hyperspace as no one but those she deemed trustworthy could pass between the two. Those of which were solely merchants. 

There was a shudder and her fleet headed out of hyperspace long before they reached her home. Rey looked up as a soldier walked out from the door to her small private seating. “We received a distress beacon, it appears to be some people fleeing from the First Order. They are requesting safe passage.” Rey nodded and stood, grabbing a cane that she leaned on. Her legs still refused to fully bear her weight and travels for long periods of time. She looked out at the visible ship with increasing First Order ships behind it as these people fled. A large and clunky, maybe well over a hundred years out of date ship. It was only fast because it hauled nothing but people more than likely. 

“Please allow us to escape Madam Solari, we are fleeing from the First Order with women and children aboard.” Rey frowned and sighed. It was a male voice and sounding panicked and desperate. And above all else familiar. 

“Let them through and have them land on…” she thought for a moment. “Alenco prime.” It was a nearby world leaving this to be solved fast. 

“Very well madam. I shall.” she moved away from Rey and spoke quickly to everyone else. The order was relayed and the First Order ships stalled far enough away to be considered a threat. The old ship passed by them and Rey could practically hear it creak. “Missive from General Pryde of the First Order.” she was handed a Holo and settled it down as she sat down. 

“Accept missive.” Rey said into the air and the small projector flared into life. A return image of her sitting would be broadcasted to this general. He was old enough to perhaps have served in the actual Empire was all Rey noted. 

“We ask you stand down and allow us to take into custody fleeing criminals.” he stated and paused. His face went blank as he looked away. “I apologize for my terseness Madam Solari.” he amended quickly and bowed his head. 

”I was told by these people that there are women and children aboard.” she said and waited. The general frowned. 

“You may be correct but they are using these as human shields. These people have stolen quite a lot from us as they used your own hyperspace ways to try to flee to the rebellion.” Rey listened, making her face stoic. “We ask you to hand over the criminals.” 

“If there are ones onboard I shall. Once I, and my people are done with them.” Pyrde grimaced and nodded to her. “Acceptable to you?” 

“I would have to accept.” he said candidly. Rey found she almost liked him. 

“Very well it shant take more than a few moments.” she waved. “Are there ones that you know the names of?” 

“Poe Dameron, sisters Tico, and one known only as DJ. Also a traitor from here. Called FN-2187, he is most desired.” he said quickly. “The others you can have.” 

“I will see to it General.” she said and bowed her head and shut off the communicator. “We are landing in just a few moments.” a guard told her and picked up the device. There was not a single bit of jarring motion and only her ears told her that they had landed on the ground with a mild pop as the doors opened depressurizing from the standard pressure. 

Standing she made her way out to a carry chair and shook her head despite the frowns of her people as she stood in front of her ship, and the one that now had spilled its contents of people outwards. There were a lot of people, but Poe was in front of them with his BB droid. Rey narrowed her eyes on them including a still armored trooper despite lacking a helmet. He looked panicked and what had to be DJ was trying to quietly shuffle towards the majority of the group. “Stop him.” she pointed and he put both his hands up. Her guards flanked the group. 

“Non-combatants?” she asked and most of the group raised their hands. 

“Rey?” Poe questioned and she ignored him scanning the group. She reached out with the force feeling each one. 

“Have them all shuffled off properly.” she made a wave as the majority were taken guided into the covered part of the shipyard they were in. 

“Hey! You can’t just take them!” Poe snapped at her she looked to him and he quieted.

“And just because we knew each other before does not mean you do not use proper honorifics POE.” she told him and he looked down. “They are going to be fine. I’ve taken care of many refugees.” 

“He-hey I’m nn-not exactly wi-with these pe-people.” ‘Dj’ stuttered. She looked to him and then to the few left. 

“What do you do and do not try to lie to me.” she asked he looked down. 

“Sp-splicer ma’am.” he mumbled quietly. 

“Ah…. you’re the one who has been avoiding my tolls.” a short lived smile took his face. “You will stay.” she made a rough motion and her guards flanked him. “I want to know how make sure he is comfortable.” The guards nodded as they got him behind her onto her ship. Poe paced a few steps. 

“Madam Solari then, we are asking for your help.” he made a gesture towards her. “For the sake of everything Rey, please you can’t just hand us over to them.” she turned back to Poe frowning. He was very roughed up, likely having a stint in one of the First Order interrogation rooms. 

“That has yet to be seen. What did you all do?” they milled. “Well?” 

“They stole the plans for… a base.” the trooper supplied. They all looked at her. 

“What kind of base please?” he grimaced. 

“The big one… they call it Star Killer.” the trooper said. “Poe give it to her.” 

“Like Hell I will.” Poe snapped. “You are just as bad as everyone of those empire goons!” 

“Tell yourself that as I have to get you and everyone else here out of this little fiasco that you have got yourselves into.” Poe gaped at her. 

“Here.” one of the women said and pulled out a small card she held it up to Rey. 

“Paige…” the other said as Rey took it. She felt a few slight twinges on it, like someone had died getting this information into her hands. 

“Thank you.” Rey looked to her guard, one of which handed a datapad to her that she slipped the card into and blinked down at the plans. They were entirely new to her, but it held a lot more specifics on the output it could do. “Get this to the engineers, I need to have the mines placed with these specifics.” Rey nodded to her guard as the others tensed. “You doubt my people?” she asked and turned slowly back to the group. 

“That is the most important thing in the entire Galaxy!” Poe yelled at her stepping up to face her within arms distance. Rey held up a hand stalling the guards. “We need-” 

“You need to calm down.” Rey reached for the force, it still caused an ache that raced through her skin, but far less so now than the first day she woke. She forced Poe to stall, rising him in the air as she held him frozen pushing him back towards the group before dropping him. He stumbled down going to all fours as he shook. “In case you forgot in full just what I am Poe.” He glared up at her. 

“You are going to get trillions killed.” Poe told her. The guard that took the datapad came back and handed the card back to her as Poe went silent. 

“Copied ma’am.” they said and she nodded holding it out towards the group. It was the trooper that walked up to take it as he looked at her. 

“What? Did you think I was a monster Poe? Is that really what you all think of me now?” He grimaced and stood. “Contact Pryde, tell him to get in touch with General Hux so we can negotiate the terms of their freedom.” she spoke staring right at Poe. 

“Thank you.” one woman said, this one plumper than her apparent sister. “There… there is nothing we can give you in thanks.” Rey wanted to roll her eyes. 

“Thank me when I can get you all out alive. If I can. I do not make such a promise.” she whirled and left them as she went back into her ship. “Make sure they can’t get out of port or escape our custody.” she told a guard who nodded and quickly got in touch with the local battalion here to comply with her wishes. Hux usually followed up quickly, but was likely either consulting with Snoke, or gloating to himself at finally having her at a place where he wanted her. Where she came to him, instead of the other way around. 

It took a long time, almost until sunrise of this world for Hux to actually reply, and it was a live one at that. Rey frowned as she was brought it and sighed before making her face go neutral as the two way system flared up. Hux did look very pleased she noticed she almost saw him smiling if he wasn’t more controlled. “Miss Solari, it appears you have a few people that are criminals.” his voice took on a new sort of oily tone. “Why is it that you intend to keep them?” he folded his hands on his knees as he sat in the holo-image. 

“I know one of them, Poe Dameron.” she said. “I owe him personally. I would rather not spend time running around General. What do you want in for their freedom?” he paused for a moment blinking and looking less pleased that she would rather get this done quickly. Poe didn’t owe her anything really, but he would now. A favor she would collect upon eventually. 

“Come to Canto Bight. With only one guard, and we shall be equal.” he raised a hand and she narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Very well, I will-” Hux cut her off quickly. 

“Now.” she stalled mouth open and snapped her jaw with an audible click. “He wants you there now.” he waited a moment. “We will send a shuttle and you and your guard will enter, then this will all be forgotten.” He leaned forwards. “Otherwise this is an open declaration of war.”

“Surely they are not that criminal.” Hux just smiled and remained quiet. “Send your shuttle.” she said and he grinned. He must know that she had the plans, and would know just what exactly might happen. Her mines were good, but from the specs she barely got a glance over they were not that good. It would take weeks to even start replacing all the mines to be able to mildly disrupt the weapon. A bare hair’s breadth, but at the distances it worked with just a single fraction was enough to save billions of lives.

“Thank you Miss Solari.” he said and stood bowing his head as he vanished from view. Rey grimaced and sighed.

“Allow a shuttle.” she waved. One of her guards straightened up speaking to their wrist. She herself stood and went back to the gathered group quietly whispering to themselves. Rey waited as they quieted and stared at her as she sighed. 

“You are all free to go.” they cheered and hugged themselves not caring one bit about what she might have done to get this. Of course they wouldn’t, they cared for the here and now. “Oh Poe, before you leave?” she smiled as Poe had a panicked sort of look to his face. 

“Yes?” he warily turned to her.

“Be sure to tell Leia that I’ll be visiting Canto Bight for the foreseeable future. I might just like it enough to stay permanently.” she smiled as his whole demeanor changed, only the trooper looked completely confused. Poe looked like she had punched him in the gut then stabbed him in the leg. 

“What does that mean?” the trooper asked one of the sisters looked to her as she ignored them to turn and look over her guards. Deciding on which one would go was difficult, as she felt that they would die at some point in this. 

“It means I am personally meeting with the most powerful members of the First Order in such a manner as to assure everyone on your side that I am with them now.” she smiled brightly to Poe. “That is the price, Poe. Congrats. Soon you’ll be the war hero you’ve always wanted to be.” she went sober as the trooper looked down. 

“Now?” he asked her. Rey tilted her head to the sound of a shuttle landing. He seemed to blanch when it landed in a nearby hanger. 

“Yes.” she turned as the trooper took a few steps and grabbed her hand. Three of her guards reacted fast, but she yanked her hand back and stalled them before they killed him. She felt a large sense of fear from him and stared at his face. “What are you afraid of?” 

“When people like you go there they don’t come back.” she smiled at him. 

“I assume so.” She looked towards a small group of First Order troops, led by whom she must assume to be General Pryde. It was hard to tell with holos sometimes, and he was far off at the moment. “If I do perish, then it is still the same…” she held out her hand to him. “Name?” she prompted when he didn’t answer. The troopers stopped at a distance away, showing no true hostile motive. They didn’t carry obvious weapons, one towed a small hover-chair with him. Towing like that was a sign that she would be under their control, a thin sort of filament line that glowed a near white blue color. 

“Finn…” he said and she nodded. 

“Good to meet you Finn. Just a tip. Fear gets the better of everyone. Including the strongest, I wouldn’t be too upset if you ran out to the outer rim then deal with this fallout.” she waved and looked over the guards gathering. She wished Ren enjoyed traveling, it would have been nice to have him here. She pointed to a random one and they nodded following her as she stepped up to the old looking man. “You have me General.” 

“Please this way.” he waved to the chair and she sighed. Her guard took the tow, as the dubious protection they were she sat in it and held her chin up as she was unceremoniously taken away from the group. “I truly appreciate you coming without a fuss Madam.” he told her, waving her towards the shuttle. 

“General if I made a fuss I would not be a madam.” she smiled at him. Rey was brought aboard the ship in orbit and as the doors closed a single blaster pistol went off killing her guard. Rey looked down at the body and back to Pryde. She almost expected another one aimed at her head, but the one who did the deed only put the gun back in their holster. 

“Welcome to the First Order.” She didn’t say anything and stared at him. “Take Miss Solari to her Quarters, and make sure she is comfortable there.” 

“General,” he sniffed as she stared at him. “I do suggest you trek with care. A guard might not raise a fuss, but my people will side with the rebellion.” 

“I doubt they will side for long once Supreme Leader Snoke is through with you.” he waved and she was towed away. Rey thought about escaping, but it would be more trouble than it was worth. Killing a few hundred people on a ship wasn’t exactly how she planned to end her day, rather than a quiet moment with a cup of meilo tea. Rather than a prison cell she was put into a posh, albeit completely personality-less room. With a small kitchen area, and even a full fresher with a long tub. She was left alone with the chair just inside by the door. 

“So it's time then Snoke.” she sighed and looked towards a blank wall. She wasn’t going to drink anything, or eat anything she felt off. At the moment she was about to face Snoke, who seemed to be the dark leader of all of these people. Rey grabbed her cane, and stood, they really don’t know force users very well. She wondered if Snoke would allow it into this ‘party’ on Canto Bight. Maybe he would, or would not. She doubted that the dark lord would put up much of a fight if she put a saber into his stomach. No one spoke of his ability of fighting, but said he had a way that seemed to make anyone bow to him. 

It was going to be an exhausting time keeping him out of her head. Rey spent the time of the ship in its hyperspace furthering her mental shields. She didn’t require the strongest ones when hardly one in a million of the Solari was barely sensitive. No one dared to send assassins against her, most of them were caught in port and executed. The sole few that made it to her home world were caught just as long before they could even get to her personal compound. To even think that her new family in the Solari weren’t protective of her was an understatement. It might be war just for this event alone. 


	26. And I'll beg for forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now on Canto Bight Rey finally meets face to face with Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been so crappy at work lately. I've had to work back to back 10 hour shifts. It sucks balls. Also, murder and mayhem. Next chapter will have smut but not explicit sex just yet.

The moment she got onto Canto Bight Rey felt a thick malice in the air. She knew without a doubt there was death recently, or will be soon. Quite a bit of death at that as Pryde motioned her to settle into a carry chair. Rey took it only for the fact she didn’t want to exhaust herself walking. She frowned at all the troopers roaming around having replaced the local police force. She never knew the City to have a decent force that was more of a ‘token’ sort of place that catered to drunk patrons and the few irate servile classes here. If not outright slaves. “So glad you can join us Madam Solari.” Pryde said and bowed in front of one of the halls as she stared at him. 

“I would hope it stays a pleasure.” Rey replied and tried her best to smile, but she was shuffled into the hall full of people. There was little regard for her as Pryde saw that his job was done and left her walking away before the doors were even closed. Here there was a thicker sense of malice and death leaving her to scowl at the various gapes that various races and humans gave her. She looked over them as she debated on directing the chair with the force outwards or settle on walking into the crowd. 

“Madam Solari?” Rey looked up to General Hux as she stood, her hunger deciding her. With all the people eating and drinking without harm coming to them she was assured it wasn’t poisoned. Despite what she felt thick in the air. “Please accompany me.” he held out his hand as she stood and stared at him. “We have a special area for those like yourself.” Should she strike now? Rey shook the thought out of her head and nodded, not touching Hux and instead stood in front of him. 

“Lead on General.” Rey checked over herself, at least she wasn’t in a dress. Instead a sort of spin on the Solari military uniform. Done in expensive materials however and without the restricting armor plating. Hux nodded and turned in a practiced motion walking not quickly as she followed him through the murmuring crowd towards a more secluded alcove. She didn’t exactly sense him, but Rey figured the thick sense in the air was him. Snoke sat in a large and padded chair in front of a long table. Along the table were others like her, either those that required a lot more help, or just in weakened conditions like herself. 

On the table was laden with food each one clearly labeled and catered to the various diets of the humans, and others before her. Also catering to restrictions in diet from what she could see near the end of the table with one alien barely looking alive and still tended to via two doctors. Known by their white and yellow striped uniforms. This one was on a breathing machine being fed by a long tube that went to its medical chair on its back. Vitals monitored constantly by the doctors even. “Madam Rey Solari.” Snoke said snapping her attention back to Snoke. He had let her take her measure of the people here at his hands. 

“Supreme Leader Snoke I would assume?” she half bowed to him and he nodded deeply towards her. Dressed in ornate robes of gold and a very human colored blood red color Rey’s only wonder was who the hell gave him a scar across his face that seemed like it caved it in. Nearly hairless he looked sickly and weak with only three fingers and a ‘thumb’ on his hands that seemed to have four or even five joints to his fingers. He held out his hand towards her the icy blue eyes running over her despite not moving. She could feel his fingers on her scalp like the hands were tapping along the inside of her skull.

“I wish we could have met in better circumstances.” Rey stated and looked to the hand, it was a quick debate, there was only one seat available which was on this side of him, the other was taken up by a rodent-like alien race that she was somewhat unfamiliar with. This one was missing an ear and was heavily burned on that side, leaving half of its face nearly immobile. Rey took the hand repressing a shudder of disgust as she did so, feeling the pure malice from its source as he moved the chair by him out with the force. She settled on it taking her hand back as she settled and put her cane by her straightening as she swallowed. She gave a look around knowing without being told just what the plan was for all those here. Probably even those outside. 

“I do feel the same madam.” Snoke purred, smiling at her. Rey perked up feeling something familiar cutting through the haze of death to come. “Perhaps you would like to eat, if you do not see something you like I can have it brought to you.” he gestured to the table as she blinked and looked down at it. 

“Why did you ask me here? Surely not to eat Supreme Leader.” she said and feigned a tired sigh as she took a few random things that wouldn’t harm her stomach. 

“My generals are correct, you do not like subterfuge.” he said and smiled again leaving her to look away spare herself the gesture. Instead focusing on a glass of water. A quiet murmur through the table. “I myself quiet like the duel of tongues.” 

“I can imagine that Supreme Leader.” 

“Snoke please. And if I may call you Rey?” she debated on it and nodded. “Thank you.” The feeling before was growing nearer and she shivered in relief. Come what may, he of all people was here and she wasn’t going to go out without seeing him one last time. 

“So why are you here Snoke?” she asked and sipped at the water it had a strong mineral taste to it that she frowned at. It wasn’t the kind of taste that said that it was poisoned, but rather that someone had mixed in various chemicals to mimic the taste of ‘good’ water. 

“I am here to reward my people.” he gestured around him. “They are all quite good and deserve a reward such as this.” Rey held back a snort, if there was one thing the entire First Order lacked it was compendant generals. 

“I am glad that you can find it in your heart to reward your people.” she smiled at him and set the cup down with a frown of distaste. 

“We do tend to do so, despite what you have heard.” she looked behind her, using the excuse of checking her collar. 

“I did see, hear, and watch as one of your generals Snoke killed my personal guard. Then kept me prisoner on one of your ships.” she stated flatly and looked back at him as he blinked. The murmuring increased to near audible words being spoken. 

“Which General?” he asked her, carefully looking over the group. Rey wondered if these people were the ones to die, or the ones outside of this place. 

“Pryde.” she shrugged, and checked over her shoulder again trying to pick out a mop of black hair. But there were a lot of people in black. 

“He shall be dealt with, perhaps Rey,” she looked back to him as his long arm reached out touching the back of her chair as if in a friendly manner. “You shall be sated by one of my own personal guards?” she looked to a row of red armored humanoids that she figured for statues until he gestured to them. “One of these perhaps?” 

“Considering I feel nothing from them? No. Clones I assume?” he nodded as he smiled again at her. “The null type? I heard they were all destroyed. Though master Luke had said he learned that to find them you merely look for the emptiness around them.” Snoke did not look pleased that she mentioned Luke and in a way it surprised herself to refer to him as a master. “I would refuse, such a creature,” she said looking into Snoke's eyes. “Would scare me half to death, I would prefer something I can sense.” 

“A droid perhaps?” Snoke said quietly and she shook her head. “I had heard you liked them like those rebellious ones on the other side of your borders.” 

“I do master Snoke, though my preference appears to be molded by droids that come from here and are repurposed.” he blinked again and smiled. “I do not think you have one that would fit my specifications. Though, I am sure as well that my people are quiet going mad without my input.” he looked up at something as she ignored him. “This just might be the catalyst for something if I am not allowed to check in soon.” 

“I understand, you shall have your wish.” Rey looked to a group of five behind her that Snoke focused on, they walked quickly to him as she blinked over the tallest of the group. The familiar feeling of him, he had grown a bit taller since she last saw him. More wide as well, leaving him looking even taller with the obsidian black get-up he had on. It covered him head to toe, and he had a Vader reminincient helmet on his head. Briefly he looked at her and she didn’t hide a smile. “Kylo Ren.” Snoke gestured to him. 

“I’ve heard of him, your personal attack dog as Leia puts it.” there was a mild tense with him as she looked away. “But nonetheless, I do apologize.” Rey stood as the rest gaped and crossed by Snoke as he remained still. The other four drew back as he froze and she took the opportunity to hug him. Wrapping her arms under his and around his torso. It took just a short moment before he hugged her back body relaxing around her. “My dearest one.” she said aloud and looked up at the helmet.  _ ‘Hello Ben _ .’ 

_ ‘Hi _ .’ he replied and she could feel him smile. He didn’t draw back instead keeping an arm around her back supporting her as she again felt the fingers of Snoke try to crack into her skull, Rey rebuffed him with a sort of mental slap. Snoke actually grinned at that, his chair turning without sound as he faced them. 

“Your dearest one?” he asked her and she nodded moving in front of Ben like a shield. “Would he suffice for a guard?” 

“I don’t think you could stop my asking.” she smiled at Snoke. “Would you allow us the pleasure of catching up?” he seemed to think and it was only the warmth now leaching into her that she realized that one of his hands was on her hip. The other curling around her waist as she realized in full just how tall he had become. Obviously his last growth spurt put her at a very large disadvantage. His chin barely would grace the top of her head and that was when he hunched. Rey flushed as she realized that as he sat there he was breathing in her smell. 

' _ Ben?'  _ She asked and watched as she ruined her reputation quite well in a matter of these seconds. 

' _ You smell like sunlight.'  _ He told her, making her flush further. Rey shivered as he continued to breathe and she focused on Snoke. 

"You may. It is clear to me that you two are very close." Rey wanted to slap the smile off his face instead she turned to Ben breaking contact just by twisting in his arms. He didn't seem too upset by it as her shoulder was still flush with his body. He held up his hand to her and she nodded and wrapped an arm around his. "Do come back when you are… finished will you?" He asked Ben. Ben gave a slight nod and in a quick motion picked her up carrying her out in just a few strides. Even more whispers and outright heckling at her and Ben followed her out as he carried her to a secluded room. 

It seemed to be a fainting room, full of simple medical equipment and long lounge chairs that can be modified to fit any reasonably sized body. He laid her down along one and she stared up at him as he looked at her from behind the mask. "Kylo Ren?" She asked him and smiled. "Where did you pick that put from?" 

"You gave it to me." His voice was modulated and a tad breathless. "You are beautiful Rey." She blushed and looked down and away. His hand raised up tilting her head back up with a curled finger. It was easily reminiscent of Vandorack, but Ben wouldn't hurt her. She knew that to the core of her being. 

"Oh thank you." She paused for a moment. "You're with the first order now?" He nodded. "I can see they are feeding you well." He snorted a sound as he looked away. "I mean I wasn't sure if Chewie was your dad, but now I'm sure." 

"I am not that hairy." He told her a smile in his voice despite the modulation. "You knew it was me?" She nodded to him. "How? I concealed myself." 

"Ben, I knew you were on the planet as soon as you landed. I felt you." She touched her chest and she could almost feel his eyes tracking the motion. It should make her uncomfortable. But she didn't care, they were together again after spending so long apart. Probably the longest they had spent without seeing each other. "I felt you here. No amount of hiding can stop me from knowing it's you." She stood up and leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her once more. 

He stayed like that for a moment as he pressed the forehead of the helmet to hers. “Ben?” she asked aloud and he straightened. 

“Do you forgive me?” He asked her, she gave him a confused look. 

“What do you mean?” he sighed and raised his hands to the helmet and it hissed the mouth portion sliding up as he removed it. Rey felt her cheeks flush as she stared at him. He had a scar going down from his eye down his cheek disappearing down his neck.

“I killed your husband, remember?” he asked her and she shook her head. 

“Honestly? I never cared about him in the first place. I never mourned him one little bit.” he smiled at her. 

“But… still. It caused trouble for you.” she waved off and sat back down as he stood in front of her. 

“Well I forgive you for the tiny bit of upset you caused.” he bowed his head to her, taking a step into her personal space as he looked down at her. “Ben?” 

“The scar doesn’t bother you?” he asked and knelt down in front of her. 

“I think it makes you look… handsome.” he grinned. “Dashing, rogue… you know. All that holo-drama stuff.” 

“There is something I have to do, and I want you to stay here. You’ll be safe here.” she blinked and gave him her best confused look. “Gods I missed you.” 

“I did look after you everyday…” she mumbled as he took her hand as she watched him as he peeled off one of her gloves. 

“Will you touch me?” he asked her, hovering her hand over his cheek. Rey slid her hand to his cheek and froze as she felt what the malice in the air came from entirely. She knew that people were waiting to die, that Snoke wanted it. But she didn’t know utterly why and by who would do the deed. Ben was one of those who would be murdering the people here. 

“Ben?” she asked her voice a whisper as he leaned into her hand. “You… you don’t have to do this.” 

“I must, he wants me to kill you here.” she swallowed. “But,” he smiled at her slowly standing up as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I told him you would do what I want.” 

“I can’t just kill all these people…” he grinned. 

“Not that. Stay here Rey. I’ll be back shortly.” he drew away from her and put the helmet back on as she stared at him. “I love you Rey.” he paused waiting. 

“I love you too.” she felt his joy as he left her in the lounge the door locking and even cracking as he did something to the door itself through the force to keep it locked in a closed position even if she did get the lock open. Rey looked up realizing she left her cane near Snoke, it was her saber, and she left it like some idiot. “Ben?” the quiet hush proceeded a large amount of screaming. Panic fire from concealed blasters as she stood and made her way slowly towards the door. The feeling of death, each person dying violently. Each one dying with fear as they perished against her Ben. She sunk against the door pressing her forehead to the door as she felt more and more people perish.

It shouldn’t be her place to even try, these were all people who were in the First Order. Loyal, albeit failed, soldiers. She shivered as the deaths stopped coming in so quickly, he was hunting now leaving the vicinity to chase after the fleeing people. There was nothing living just outside her door, as she squeezed her eyes shut. Ben was killing people, so many people without care or concern. It was so vastly unlike the Ben she knew Rey let out a few tears as she mourned the lasp she had done. A time machine could make her go back in time and hunt him down. Not take no for an answer and… what? Keep him in a compound on Solari? To turn him into an ornament around her home? 

‘ _ Stop it, Ben please. I don’t like this _ .’ she reached out. 

‘ _ You’ll forgive me. Eventually. _ ’ he replied and she looked up at the door that wouldn’t ever show her anything beyond it until it opened. He had changed so much, Rey let out a sob. Letting herself mourn her Ben. The quiet little boy that adored her. She wiped her face with a sleeve and reached for the force, concentrating on the door. She would need to work fast, knock Ben and the rest out, kill Snoke and his guards, then get Ben and the rest of the knights to safety. Rey gasped in when without her doing anything the door blasted outwards leaving her to scramble up and waver on her unsteady legs. 

Ben stepped into the room as she shook her head. “I knew it.” he spoke and she stared at him with wide eyes. “I knew that you would never even try.” Rey felt it then, it almost felt like a hand touching her on the back making her move forwards towards him. Ben grabbed her arm as she shot her hands out to grip him for support. His black outfit was wet and she drew her hands back realizing the fabric had dark spots of blood all over it. He was barely winded from his murder spree as he leaned down breathing in her smell again. “Sleep now Rey.” he hushed her and she felt his mind start to slowly pull her down into sleep. 

“Why Ben?” she begged him struggling against it. She could stand against it, as he raised a hand and cupped her cheek. 

“Because you’re here. I had to kill them for you.” she let out a whimper, she didn’t want to sleep now, she wanted to get out with Ben. Run, he sensed this, or even saw the thought. “I know Rey, I’ll get you out.” she shivered, stopping her fight against his will. “I’m here to protect you now, you don’t have to fight anymore.” with his voice she was pulled into darkness by his will, fading into pure blank unconsciousness that not even dreams touched. 


	27. Confluence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up on a ship with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go. Finally the two get together. Keep in mind that it goes places here and if I need to tag more tell me. So warning is BDSM, forced orgasm, though it doesn't go fully and utterly explicit well... fucking. That is next chapter. That wont be BDSM, its bathtub sex! So look forward to it!

She woke her vision blurry but unafraid. A glass was firstmost in her vision as her nose smelled the scent of cooking meat. Slowly she pushed herself up in the small room looking around herself. It was like one of the First Order rooms, although smaller with a large bed that she was currently on. Rey took the glass and drained it, eyes going over the room. Very few personality driven items were here, however in an alcove she saw a pillar and felt like blanching as she pushed herself up to sitting on the edge of the bed. It looked almost like the melted head of some beast from this far away. 

But the shape, color, and size of the helmet said it was only one thing. Vader. She wondered if it was one he had worn personally, or a spare one. She looked down and away from it finding her cane alongside the same beside dresser that the glass of water was. With a grateful smile she floated it to herself and stood. She was still in what she wore before just sans the glove which was nearby the glass. Rey gave the helmet one last look before she walked towards a half standing wall that divided the entire fresher area. The only thing missing from her was her shoes and socks and were not in the room as far as she could see or care about. 

This one was much more open than the other room, which had a whole room dedicated to the fresher. Taking care of her needs Rey crept out, another half wall concealed the kitchen/dining area and she noticed Ben there behind the opaque wall. Slowly she made her way and watched him for a moment as he cooked, sliding a full meal onto two plates. She looked down at the plates and back to him. He didn’t wear a shirt currently and it sent a flash of an unknown type of fear through her. Only with a pair of pants and even barefoot he glanced at her and smiled. 

“Go on and sit. Breakfast is almost ready.” he told her. Rey felt like gulping, this felt so odd that she could only feel the most pertinent and known emotion to her. Bafflement. There was only one seat next to a small table she noticed. 

“There’s only one seat.” she told him leaning against the half wall. “Where are we?” she asked as he finished, garnishing the dish with some kind of small green thing from the middle of the table. 

“You are my guest.” she scowled at him as he smiled at her. “The Finalizer, near Solari space. We are waiting for you to wake.” She nodded and sighed. 

“What did you tell them?” Ben sat down after he set the plates on the table holding a hand out to her. Rey took it setting the cane down against the wall as he pulled her onto his lap. She blinked as he put one hand around her back and rested it on top of her thigh. She shivered holding her hands up unsure where exactly to put them. She settled on wrapping one around his shoulders for stability. 

“We said you survived a massacre. I saved your life and I am bringing you home.” she nodded staring at the plates. “I remembered you don’t like to go hungry.” 

“I am a little over that.” she told him and glanced away from him blushing. “Don’t you have a cowl or something?” 

“It's my room.” she smiled and nodded. “Eat.”

“Haven’t… eaten on someone's lap before.” she mumbled as he grinned tilting his head towards her as he leaned forwards. His nose brushed past her temple and she felt a strange pleased sense from him that she had decided to just go with this. Rey almost dropped the fork with the feeling as an electric feeling raced into her. 

“Do I need to help you eat?” he asked in a dark tone. 

“I…what?” she ate a bite, it was an egg, meat, veggie, thing. With the egg wrapping everything up in a blanket like cooked form. He chuckled and she went still as he tilted his head and mouthed her earlobe. “Ben?” 

“Hmm?” her face flushed again as she breathed unsteady, her whole world had just shifted over to like it was in another dimension. He was ignoring his own plate as she struggled internally at how to handle this. 

“Ben, you can’t… you can’t touch me like this.” she told him barely halfway through the meal before she gave up eating it. He wasn’t stopping though, instead he tightened his arm around her waist. 

“I can’t?” his hand felt massive on her stomach as he spoke in her ear. His other hand brought her hand, still with a thin scar curving around the tip of her finger to the tip of her thumb from the saber burn, to his face. He turned to it kissing her palm before actually licking her along the scar. 

“What are you doing?” she squeaked out. “Ben… I am so much older than you, I raised you!” he stopped and side eyed her. 

“I can assure you that you didn’t raise me.” she flushed and looked away from him. He didn’t seem upset. “Do you want to deny what you're feeling?” 

“I am not denying anything! We shouldn’t… I shouldn’t do this!” she asserted to him. 

“Because Luke says so?” she gaped at him frozen as she put her hand over his on her stomach to try to pull it off. She shut her mouth going still, his hand moved to her back rubbing up and down it in a soothing manner. A shiver went through her back as her mind worked. There were a hundred things she could do to end this, but it did feel really good to have his hand on her back. She leaned into him resting her head on his shoulder with a scowl. “Are you done?” 

“Shut up, it's wrong.” he chuckled resting his cheek on her head. 

“Why?” she frowned. 

“I am so much older than you.” she reasoned. “I kind of was a sort of sister.” 

“No you weren’t. Han and Leia told you to your face that you can’t be theirs. Remember?” she flinched. “Luke rejected you, we aren’t even related genetically.” Ben reasoned back. Despite how painful those memories still were. They were old hurts now however leaving her to shake her head. “As for the age, Anakin was eight and Padme was nineteen. She was eleven years older than him, and they still loved each other.” 

“It… it… I…” she mumbled going quiet. “I could be programmed by my genetics to want this.” she said quietly. 

“Then there is less reason to deny it.” he kissed her hair, and moved his free arm down cupping her face and swiping a thumb over her lips. “I’ve wanted this for years Rey.” his tone was dark again. “Why do you want to deny it? Doesn’t it feel right?” 

“It… it does.” she caved. There was no lie in the room. It felt so good to be near him, having all the human contact that she wanted to have her whole life. To have someone hold her so she didn’t have to hold herself. “But just because it feels right, doesn’t make it right.” 

“And?” she blinked. 

“Umm… I… huh….” she quieted again letting him run his hands down her neck, her shoulder, just barely brushing by her breast. Back to her thigh but further towards her rear as his hand spanned nearly the entire side of her rump. A familiar sort of warmth purred through her and it sent a new wave of panic through her system. He stalled as she put her forehead on his neck, feeling his own hesitation. She could feel his want for her, which was all the more terrifying. “Ben, I’m scared of what would happen.” she admitted. 

“What do you mean?” she squeezed her eyes shut. 

“What if I like it?” Another thrill, coming from him, it seemed to be all he needed to soothe his own fear that she wouldn’t, or couldn’t reciprocate. 

“It’s okay to be selfish.” he told her kneading her thigh. Rey breathed in deep as she raised her hands up one along his back feeling as his skin ran under her and the other that ran up his chest feeling the divot of the scar. “Be selfish for me?” she blinked her eyes open. 

“I am selfish.” she told him. “I am incredibly selfish.” he grinned, closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of her in his arms. Since there wasn’t a threat of her leaping off and runing away from him. “I’m the most selfish person in the galaxy.” he chuckled. 

“That’s one of the reasons why I love you.” she grinned at him and gave up the last of resistance she had in her mind. “Touch me.” she was busy circling her finger around the masculine throat bulb. She hunched that electric feeling racing through her that pooled a warmth into her. Slowly she traveled her hand down his chest feeling him as he shivered when she passed a pectoral to his side before she hesitated before touching his thigh. 

“I can’t exactly do that in-” she began and tensed as he moved, quickly picking her up in a carry position. Rey frantically threw both her arms around his neck as he took her to the bed and set her down carefully. She shivered again as he stood in front of her smiling and breathing a tad heavily. Rey gave one last shiver before she put both her hands, both the single gloved one, still lightly stained with blood, and her bare hand on his chest. She couldn’t exactly bear to look as she shut her eyes and leaned forwards and placed a kiss on his bare skin. 

She could feel the way his skin heated up, how tight and nearing to painful he was under his pants and how wonderful it felt to feel her lips on him. How good it felt herself and then reciprocated back through him, as she felt her own pleasure rising. Her hands traveled to his sides down to his hips as she kissed him a bit lower. She felt him shudder as she kissed his belly button seeing briefly though his head as several dirty holo-vids ran through his head all at once, leaving her flushing red at a few of them, but it did give her exactly what she believed he would like to happen. 

He really didn’t know what to do with his hands, not exactly wanting to be rough, she grabbed one hand and put it in her hair as she kissed his navel. Her hair was done up in a braid, as Rey had stopped cutting her hair once a member of the Solari. His fingers slowly worked through the ties as she placed a kiss under his navel. A groan, she slipped her fingers under the waistband of his pants slowly pushing it down and revealing the straining of his underclothes to keep back his hard cock. “Rey…” he breathed out. 

She slid his underclothes down to his thighs and mouthed the outside of his cock. He groaned and she almost groaned with him as she felt the pleasure coming off him. His skin felt so tight and sensitive that any sort of pressure on him felt wonderful. She took a steading breath and pulled down his underwear. There was an immediate and for her shameful comparison from all the men she had seen, with Ben practically preening because of it. 

“Rey….” he breathed out again. She hesitated, taking off the blood stained glove before she touched him. He was almost fully hard but became that the moment she circled her hands around him and ran them along him. Too lightly for the few memories of his own self pleasure she could sense but feeling all the better for it since it was no longer his own hands. She breathed out and leaned forwards not daring to look up at him as she placed a very light kiss on the tip. A trail of precum followed her as she pulled back breathing against it. 

“More.” he said fisting his hand into her now loosened hair. His other hand touched her cheek fingers trying to coax her back. Rey let him bring her head back, this was after the first time she had ever even tried to do this sort of sex act. She braced one hand on his hip as she placed her lips back against his tip, it felt wonderful even to her as she ran her tongue all around it. Tasting the odd taste of his cum as she brushed her tongue along something on the underside of his cock and making him shiver. That small spot felt all the more sensitive as her free hand stroked up and down his shaft. 

She ran her tongue along it a few times as his breathing turned more erratic, then when she began sucking he groaned her name again. Keeping her tongue along the bottom of his cock she brought him as far into her mouth as feasible to her. Using her hand to stoke the rest of him she carefully tried to set a steady pace despite just how much she could feel the still painful sort of tightness to his cock. Despite just how good she knew it felt for him as well making her feel her own arousal start making her knees press together to try to stimulate herself. “More…” he breathed out and she gave up trying to set her own pace, instead focusing on breathing. 

Ben kept her hair away as he hesitantly took over the pace. Wrapping his hands around her head she braced her hands on him as he brought her up and along his cock. There was a few more images, a few of the ubiquitous partners had hollowed their cheeks, when they did have cheeks, as she did so. He mumbled, increasing the pace to a rough face fucking. She felt him as he rose upwards, feeling almost like spools of taut wire in her own stomach. With a near whole tense and driving himself so far she gagged around him she felt as he came inside her, barely avoiding choking as she swallowed. A small trail of panic as he pulled her head away, leaving a sticky trail of her spit from him. He barely had flattened, leaving her feeling a bit dazed, her own clenching telling her she had experienced her own orgasm in the meantime. 

“I’m sorry I…” he breathed as she coughed out the last of the sensation of choking. “Rey are you okay?” she smiled up at him. 

“I’m fine…” he bent down as she drew a little back. “Ben no, you wont-” he kissed her grimacing a little as he went down on his knees awkwardly from the position his clothes were at. Making her have to bend over in another awkward sort of position in order to kiss him. 

“I think there are pills I can take for this.” he told her as she laughed hands on his shoulders. 

“For what exactly?” he mouthed her chin, hands going down her back. 

“The taste.” she giggled, kissing his cheek. “I want to see you Rey.” a nervous energy filled her as further warmth pooled, the aftershocks of clenching finally stopping. She leaned back up and fumbled a little trying to undress herself. Ben stood sliding off the rest of his clothes off him. Her hands and fingers felt light and clumsy as she stared at him, it wasn’t okay that the word ‘virile’ would flash through her. 

He took over, pulling her up as he pulled off the thick jacket and tossed it, going behind her as he breathed in her smell again. Rey shivered at how much he liked the way she was smelling a lot more like himself. He unhooked the belt and with a rough yank tossed it away she leaned into him closing her eyes and she raised her hand touching his cheek. In a few more tuggs, forgoing the buttons on her blouse she felt cool air kiss her skin. She tensed as one hand came around and cupped her breast, the other was driving under the band of her pants cupping her as she squirmed in an instinctive manner. He dug his fingers further to her as she gasped. 

"Ben?" She managed out as he snuck his other hand back under her bra and palmed her bare breast. With her squirming she was brushing roughly against him at her hip her hands went to his wrist trying to stall him. Instead he dropped her breast and snagged both her wrists forcing her hands to the side and making her try to fight against him as he found her sensitive spot. "Please…" 

"He told me you don't want to feel it." He whispered harshly to her ear. "But you know what I think Rey?" She shuddered as he put a finger into her. She was so wet that it went in easily and he quickly put another one making a wine come out of her throat. 

"Please dont…" he smiled and kissed at her neck, lavering her skin with his tongue. 

"I think Rey… you don't think you deserve it. I know you do." She grit her teeth as his fingers curled inside of her touching someplace inside of her. 

"Ben no… I don't…" she left off with another groan as her legs quaked barely able to keep her upright. 

"Then what…" he I paused as she neared a peak, letting her recover before she could come. "Am I going to do to you?" Rey swallowed thinking. 

"I dont… I don't know." He paused as he waited for her to come down off the peak with a grateful sigh. 

"Hmm then Rey what did I see when I kissed you?" Confusion filled her. 

"What?" He ran his fingers inside of her again. Her legs didn't just threaten to give out they actually did making him fully support her. 

"When I kissed you just before you destroyed all Luke loved. What did I see? I only got a glimpse." She panted heavily as he worked a third finger in her spreading her out as he wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her upright. It also pinned her arms to her sides. Her legs scrambled for purchase on the slick floor. 

"I dont… I don't remember!" She asserted and whined as he began rising her to a peak again. 

"You do, don't you?" He asked as she panicked. He ran his nose through her hair breathing in her smell again in a great gulp. “Ah, you do.” Rey grabbed his wrists trying to free herself from the position she was in. She also arched trying to break out of the hold, doing anything aside from any part of her training. “Show me it Rey, or I’ll make you come again.” His voice went darker and she shuddered in his arms, finding a purchase since she couldn't make him topple from her weight, nor let her go just by being dead weight. 

“AHHH! Ben!” she clenched around him nearly screaming as she came again. He didn’t stop the ministrations however, making her arch her back going on her tiptoes in an effort to squirm out. “Please I don’t remember!” she begged. 

“You have ten.” he told her unmoved as she began begging and pleading. 

“What? Ten what?” she felt him grin as she blinked dazed body tight and aching from the position. He kissed her shoulder again. 

“Nine.” a pure sense of fear and adrenaline kicked into her. Rey scrambled into her head knocking everything ordered in her mind for the offending memory and thought. Well hidden inside of her as he counted down slowly still working her body. “Twoo…” he drawled out as she made a strangled noise. 

“Here.” she mentally proffered the memory to him cringing as he practically ate it. It should be horrible to think that even now she liked and enjoyed the thought of being bound and tormented in this same sort of manner as of now. How she didn’t need to worry over sex, to please someone, and just let them run roughshod over her. Him most in particular. Tying her up, and tormenting her until she begged. With everything that happened to her with Vandorack, she should feel so vastly and utterly ashamed of herself for wanting such terrible things. 

He drew his hand out of her placing kisses along the side of her neck. “It's okay… it's okay Rey.” she shivered against him leaning back into him. He raised his hand and tilted her head to let him kiss her, she only realized there were tears in her eyes when he ran his tongue along one cheek, twisting her body to lick the other track. “Do you really want me to do these things to you?” he asked her, Rey pressed herself into him putting her arms around his neck to have him hunched around her. 

“Yes…” she sniffed and squeezed her eyes shut hiding her face against his neck. He ran a hand up her back along her skin. “Please… I….” he brought her scarred hand to his face, kissing along the scar. 

“It’s okay Rey, I want it too.” she shivered. “I have a lot of things I know you’ll like.” she stiffened taking a sharp breath in and she snapped her eyes open. Ben laughed darkly as she remained frozen. “Let me show you.” he swept her up in his arms again and went to a hidden door in his rooms. Something scanned his face and the hidden door swept open, the lights flaring on as he brought her inside what she could only describe as a sex dungeon. Lacking the deep level under the ground as this was on a ship. 

“Ben?” he shook his head as he set her down and finished what he had started, removing all of her clothes. At least he wasn’t hard anymore leaving her just a tad less wary as he kicked the clothes into a pile pulling her into the area. Some of the things there left her gaping, they looked like torture implements. “How did all of this,” she paused to shiver in the child air. “Get in here?” Ben grinned at her. 

“This?” He stopped at a padded wall that held padded cuffs and chains that would keep her arms useless above her head. A small button on the cuffs however would release them if she so chose. Rey tensed again as he remained silent only gesturing to the wall. 

“Ben...” he sighed and stepped up to her. Rey backed into the wall putting her arms right above her obediently. 

“Here Rey…” he leaned over her putting her wrists into the cuffs, she shuddered against him. He kissed her again as she calmed herself. “You call me master, understand?” she stiffened looking to him with wide eyes. 

“I… I understand.” she licked her lips. “Master.” He leaned down and started kissing her as she fought not to squirm. 


	28. Ben 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey share a moment before Ben enacts a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bathtub sex! Breeding/pregnancy kink.

Rey slept next to him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He enjoyed breathing in the smell of her body, how she smelled so much like herself, and now him. He had never really seen her sleeping much in his life, as she used his chest as a pillow. There had been a particular sort of fear inside of him that she wouldn’t reciprocate. That she wouldn’t like his own tastes, until she revealed fully just what he had seen come from her mind all those years ago. He kissed the top of her head, still thankful for her guidance even longer ago of how to shield himself. This was not something he wanted Snoke to ever touch, and he wouldn’t ever soon. Snoke must know which is why he hadn’t ever during the entire thing even tried to contact him. Did he place guards? Call in reinforcements as he tried to hide? Was he in his escape pod right now?

“Rey?” he called and she frowned as she struggled upwards in wakefulness. She snuggled closer to him, her naked body flush with his, making his skin feel hot. He ran his fingers down her spine, feeling her skin shiver. She mumbled something and blinked her eyes open. “It's time to wake up.” she frowned at him. 

“I don’t want to.” he grinned and kissed her again. 

“I need your help with something.” she blinked and nodded sitting up with a groan. He followed her up as she stretched. He could feel a vague sort of fear from her that this was a dream, or rather a long running nightmare that lasted years. Ben reached out to her, pulling her back to him, holding her closer to him. “You’re not alone Rey.” she looked up at him from the shelter of his arms. 

“Neither are you.” she reached up and cupped his cheek, her thumb briefly touched his scar sending another hot thrill into him. 

“Nothing good ever comes my way…” she told him quietly. “But what do you need?” there was a flush to her cheeks and he shook his head. 

“No, not that.” she pursed her lips and drew a little back as he felt his face break into a grin. “With Snoke.” she straightened. “We need to kill him.” 

“You want him dead? I thought he… was your teacher.” he looked away, Snoke was still on the ship he felt, the large flagship of the First Order was still on the way. It was like he never expected Ben to disobey him or betray him.

“For a time.” he stood and watched her as she stood, and cast a glance around for clothes. “He isn’t anymore and I don’t need him.” she nodded as he held out a hand, she didn’t even hesitate in taking it letting him lead her to the fresher. 

“Are you sure?” he nodded, looking at her through the side of his vision as she put a hand out touching the stream of water. It was like she experienced little of it still, even to this day. 

“I’m sure. I will take his place.” she looked right to him as he smiled at her. “As a leader, then both you and I… come together.” he paused a moment, in more ways than one. She hadn’t even so much as thought about the lack of something he had. In his feel up of her he didn’t feel an implant either. Massaging her arms, legs, sides, and body as laid her down in his bed. Not that he didn’t think to offer it to her, but he had his own vision. As he laid passed out in the Falcon waiting for rescue by Ren, he saw it. In a way it had become an obsession, with what he knew of his own family, going all the way back to his grandfather's own mother. Everyone was not at all truly happy with it. But there was an excitement in her manner within the vision.

_ Rey was holding onto a small tablet, she offered it to him as he took it and she climbed onto his lap straddling him. ‘What is this?’ he asked as she put her head into his neck with a smile. ‘Rey?’  _

_ ‘Look and see.’ she grinned and kissed the side of his neck as he blinked down at a series of medical tests. Fairly average for her he knew, as she went through them once a month. This one had brought a positive result for something else. His mouth fell open as she took one of his hands and put it on her stomach. He could barely feel it, but it was there. A tiny feeling spark of life. ‘I think it might be a boy.’ she told him. _

_ ‘I want a girl.’ he replied fast and tossed the pad off hearing it break and shatter as he hugged her closer to him. ‘Rey… are you sure?’ she pursed her lips into the side of his neck and sucked a wet mark. He felt his shoulders slump, hands going to her and feeling the little thing growing inside of her.  _

_ ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ she kissed him again. Pure joy filtered from her mind to his, she wasn’t unhappy, she was excited.  _

“You mean join forces.” he nodded to her climbing into the bathwater and watching her as she hesitated a moment, it wasn’t the largest bath, but she fit comfortably in his arms. “That would really hurt Leia.” he tensed. 

“Have you seen Han?” he asked as she shook her head. He had no doubt his mother hated this, and probably would gladly never see him again. Rey slid into the water with him, and he grit his teeth as he got the fringes of her thoughts. Leia asking everyday if he was safe, and the thought she would be beside herself with worry without the update and with just what Poe might have reported to her. Her thoughts barely grazed Han, ever since that day she hadn’t seen or really heard of him. 

“My people said he is dealing with King Prana. He wanted Rathars last I heard, he sent a missive to me asking if I had any.” Ben nodded leaning forwards as he put his arms around her sliding their bodies more flush. She tensed when he kissed her shoulder, there was a fading bite mark there and he wasn’t sure if he should be ashamed of himself over it. “Ben?” 

“I don’t want to think about them.” he told her. She relaxed leaning back into him and closing her eyes. “Why do you care?” he asked her, she fluttered her eyes open. “About Leia?” he added and grimaced at himself. 

“Because, she cares about you.” His heart gave an ungrateful flop in his chest. “Though, I think she hates me.” she sighed. “She will even more so now.” 

“Why?” she reached up and touched his cheek and he breathed in deeply. Closing his eyes he relaxed into her touch. To even consider that the little girl known as Rey, the one that Leia had seen growing up was now all but a new Emperor was a terrible thought to someone like his own parents. 

“Do you think I should call myself empress? Or stick with madam.” she answered him, he offered a smile. 

“I like Empress Rey.” he told her, opening his eyes to look at her. 

“And I like Emperor Kylo Ren.” he shuddered, tightening his arms around her. She murmured just a little dissent, but he didn’t loosen his arms. Eventually she dropped her arm and stayed like that. “Cleanser?” he frowned after a long moment of silence. The water was getting tepid and they were probably both incredibly wrinkled. 

“I want to stay like this forever.” he told her and she smiled as she put her hands over his.

“I know. But if Snoke even feels threatened he might run. I doubt he is good at fighting.” Ben sighed and nodded, finding the cleanser. It was in a sort of hidden panel along the side of the bath wall above the tub. He carefully threaded the stuff through her long hair as she tilted her head back into his touch. A small breathy moan came out of her throat as he took the opportunity to place a series of kisses along her skin. 

It was still so novel to even touch her, that it sent hot, tight feelings through him. Especially with how she breathed, and made delicious sounds as he touched her. He put both his hands over her breasts gently kneading. “Ben…” she breathed out and he winced as he felt himself get harder pressed against her back as she arched herself into his hands. It wasn’t exactly the best time to even think about another round. He was just about to seek out his master to murder, knowing that Snoke couldn’t fight back was a good thought however. 

The main trouble was his guards, they were highly trained warriors and wore armor that could rebuff anything other than a direct thrust of a lightsaber. Under the tight and nearly perfect mental control of Snoke they basically were droids. Rey shuddered as her hips shifted brushing against him. It felt absolutely wonderful and he could only think about how it would continue to feel wonderful. “Do you want…” she twisted in his arms quickly facing him as she took his lips kissing him. 

“Yes.” she answered and kissed him again as his hands fell on her lower back. Her knees tucked tight together between his. “I want you.” she told him quietly. “I want it so badly it hurts.” he could feel a sort of ache coming from her as she kissed him along his jaw. He smiled, hands coming back up to graze along her nipples. Her own arousal was a wonderful feeling as it raced through him, and then his own back through from her to him. A reciprocal loop that he didn’t ever learn of in any sort of teaching. Jedi or sith, or the place between. He wondered if she might have heard of it, but at the moment her hands were lightly touching his thighs. 

His skin and muscles twitched as her hands slowly moved up his thighs supporting herself as she slid herself towards him. The pure hot feeling as she slid herself along him as she settled on his lap. Her hands came up and threaded her hands through his hair pulling his head back as she continued to kiss him. Straddling him Rey’s chest heaved as he rested his hands on her hips. Slowly he guided her hips as she undulated along him, not only making himself feel good as the friction stimulated him, but also stimulated her.

She wasn’t afraid of the coming pleasure, whether or not he would make her rise out to the peak or orgasm. He felt a smile creep onto his face as he cupped her ass rising her up along himself he was so hard that he didn’t really need to worry about proper lining as she tensed. It was a little painful for herself he could feel it, but it was like the slight pain of stretching before or after a fight. It took only a little time for whatever little pain there was, mostly blasted out of her mind and body by the wonderful feeling of her body around him. 

As she fully sank down on him, both shivered taking a moment to recover from the rush of emotions and skin tight feelings. It was like the both of them became one entity as both panted their minds almost completely threaded together. He was the first to recover as his thighs tensed, raising him a little up and down. It sent that electric shudder through her and him both their pleasures blended together. More so than when he took her in the room. 

Along with the stretch, the tight pleasure of her around him, was a sense of completion. Like two halves coming to a whole. It was this that seemed to drive them both together he was sure. They were like a single entity that had been cut in two, now joined like they were both seemed to blend into a single person. He knew exactly what kind of pace she wanted, and knew just how much she adored him and she in turn knew how much he loved her in return. She didn’t mind, nor care for her fear of orgasm like this. 

Slowly the two of them as one rose up together as he rocked into her and her own hips undulagted in perfect time with each other. It was truly an amazing feeling, mind boggling in a way where he could even fathom the depths they were connected. Knowing that she too felt the same sort of baffled emotional reaction to be something like one person. She kissed him, and pulled at his hair further. He truly enjoyed that, and she knew he liked it. His hand came around to touch her, she wasn’t really afraid. 

When he came into her she was right with him, body going limp against him and shuddering. His hands ran up and down her back as their minds slowly separated outwards back into their respective bodies. She kissed at his neck and sat up smiling. “You’re amazing.” he flushed running his hands up her back. 

“So are you.” he said quickly and pulled her into another kiss. “I love you so much.” she smiled and relaxed against him. 

“I know, I love you too.” there was a soothing sort of feeling, he wasn’t sure if it was from her or himself. But he knew it was a wonderful feeling. They slowly finished up cleaning themselves, Rey slowly extracting herself from him without a wince. “My clothes are filthy… and torn.” she accused almost an hour later. He grinned, motioning to the free standing closet. 

“You’re welcome to my wardrobe.” he told her, opening it fully her brows rose as she surveyed the choices. 

“Black, black, and more black.” Ben chuckled. 

“You like black.” he replied as she straightened hautly. “I know you like black.” 

“It's not about what I like, it's about the  _ size _ .” she replied he burst into a laugh leaning against the wardrobe. She stood, dressed in the underclothes that seemed to remain miraculously intact. She stood close to him as she pulled out a single pair of pants that would dwarf her. The waistband coming up under the breasts and the legs going down long past her ankles. “See?” he quieted himself. 

“All I see is you.” she smiled at him. “It's not that bad.” she dropped the pants, and pulled out a loose shirt it too dwarfed her as she stared at him with a smile. “Alright. Let me call a droid.” 

“I need a belt not a droid.” he pulled out one that could work, the sole one that would work with her frame. “Thank you.” she took the belt, pants, and shirt a little aways as he dressed himself. She took little time in getting ready, he felt the force as she summoned the cane to her side and checked over it. There was the knowledge of just what it was from when their minds were melded and he was impressed. 

“That is amazing Rey.” he praised, turning to her. She blinked up at him. “That thing.” he pointed to the cane as she smiled. “How?” 

“Oh, I found some more crystals on one of the worlds I…” she paused. 

“Conquered.” he supplied going back to her side. She nodded. 

“Conquered. I decided to make this.” She offered him the cane. “When… Luke took me to that… room with all the old Jedi crystals. It was terrifying.” he handed back the cane to her. “All those people hated me.” She looked away from him. “Luke didn’t even sense it, he… couldn’t even tell.” her voice went quiet. “Not even when I told him.” 

“Rey,” he bent down and put his hands on her knees. “Why would he even think to care?” she frowned not looking at him. “He never cared about you.” she flicked her eyes to him. 

“You’re right. Eventually we are going to have to face him too.” she sighed and held her hand out to him. He took it and stood helping her to stand. Her hair was still loose around her neck as he looked down at her. “Ben?” he raised one hand and threaded his hand through her hair. She relaxed into the touch as he carefully braided her hair. Tacking it out of the way of her face. 

“There.” he smiled as she flushed a little. 

“Ben,” she warned as he grinned. “Did you just propose?” she touched her hair nervously. 

“I am a prince.” she smiled nodding to him. “I should know my people’s mating customs.” she leaned into him and he put his arm around her waist. “When we live through this, we can hold a ceremony.” 

“Public, I want everyone to see it.” he grinned and leaned down kissing her. 

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 


	29. Insurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets with Snoke once more and finally her and Ben kill him.

Rey almost felt childish with her oversized clothes in the elevator. At least she got to keep her old shoes as she shifted waiting. It wasn’t just like the Canto Bight, the malice here wasn’t as bad. There was a sort of stated feeling about it as she thought. Ben had killed a lot of people, she didn’t mourn them. She didn’t know them, but she knew Ben. Her thoughts were at the ease of the decision in him. He didn’t hesitate to slaughter people, for her. She didn’t know exactly how to feel about that. But now she felt like she understood what Han and Leia felt when they looked down at her after she killed the assassin. 

The odd feeling was the mournful feeling, the sort of sadness inside of her that was like the malice. A low level lingering in the air, she looked up staring at the elevator doors. They were not brushed shiny but their forms were nothing but two splashes of dark color. Rey looked like she stood on a small splash of light. She snorted and shook her head as he turned to her. She knew he was nervous, partly scared. 

“What is it?” he asked and breathed out. 

“Luke once told me he couldn’t come up here with a lightsaber to kill Snoke. That we had to rely on politics to take him down.” she answered and laughed partway through bitterly. Ben straightened looking away from her. 

“He never believed in you, nor me.” he replied and she sighed. Was that it? Or was it the slight presence of the empire inside of her? Something crawling inside of her since she could remember. 

“No. He did, he just didn’t know how to help us both.” she tilted her chin up, the elevator was slowing down to the level Snoke was on. It was quiet still, the Solari had light music playing on their ship. Nothing but the light tinkling of instruments, unobtrusive but it was better than the deep quiet of ships. “I’m curious though, what happened to the Falcon.” He blinked as she turned to him and smiled as the change of subject. 

“I don’t know, I traded it for parts on a world called Takodona.” he frowned. “For my saber. I needed some kind of special auxiliary crystals.” 

“Aren’t you using Vaders?” he raised the large black saber, Rey knew it only in part. Only from the hazy shared memories and that wasn’t entirely clear. A thick large red wire wrapped around it as she directed herself mentally towards it. A large crack had appeared at sometime since she last seen it, which directed energy out on either side to create a cross guard. “Was that because of me?” he gave a small nod and she winced. 

“The amount of energy you put into it,” he paused as the lift stalled entirely. “You are so strong.” he added with wonder in his voice. She leaned into him as the doors slid open. She half expected the hall full of various troopers, but it was nearly empty. 

“So are you. I know you think,” she paused to step out barely using the cane, it felt like her legs had become a bit stronger. But she didn’t have time to explore it just yet. “You aren’t, but you are.” he nodded to her and looked up. 

“Only a direct stab, no slashes.” he told her she nodded as he more roughly took her arm, both supporting her and guiding her down a hall towards a set of doors. She forced her muscles and body to relax as she entered into a small throne room. She thought it wasn’t overly large, but the space was designed to make her feel small. There were ten of the red guards behind him still as statues and Rey wondered again if they were droids. A sort of emptiness filled the air around them, it wasn’t that they were not alive. But it was like they were a small void in the Force. Almost like a great darkside pool, but not exactly. As the darkside itself was a part of the force, she tilted her head up as Ben led her to the foot of a large dias. 

He gave her a look as he turned and backed away a few steps to kneel. Rey turned to Snoke, still in rich robes and sitting. Still massive and in the room with the malice around him it was unsettling. “Are you quite done with your foolishness?” he asked Ben not her. She didn’t turn but clearly felt the upset. “But yet you and I are to speak, Rey.” she frowned at him saying her name as she fully focused on him. They said they didn’t know what he could do, but she could feel his fingers still trying to worm their way into her head. 

“Should I kneel?” she asked him and he extended his hand out and she didn’t flinch as her cane floated towards him, it landed carefully on his arm rest. She felt a hard wave of the force smash down on her, she wasn’t really prepared for it, and it did make her stagger down going down on a knee thrusting her hand out to steady herself to avoid going down on her face. Rey stabbed upwards in the force, like jabbing someone in the stomach with the end of a staff. The weight lifted as she kept it up and stood back up. “I’ll take that as a yes.” she snarked and smiled as Snoke’s gaze turned icy. 

“You are quite strong Rey.” she tilted her chin up. “Do you even know in full what you can do?” 

“Do you know that threatening people first instead of praising doesn’t work.” she shot back making him go quiet. She stood proudly in front of him, but maybe this was exactly what he wanted to happen. 

“Do you know that you were created?” he asked, it wasn’t entirely new to her. “Solely and utterly to fulfil one purpose.” another wave, trying to break her down at the same time as his fingers tried to creep into her mind. Rey wanted to just kill him and be done with it. “Do you know what that purpose was?” 

“Same as my little brother I assume.” she answered the room went very quiet and Ben actually raised his eyes. “To feed something that shouldn’t call itself life.” 

“Are you quite certain?” she frowned, staring at him. “You will do something for me Rey.” she blinked waiting. “We will come together, and crush those fools.” it seemed so easy but she was just confused. “There is only one thing. You will not do it.” 

“What makes you think I wont?” she asked carefully. 

“Because you are weak.” she grimaced. “You still think to stand on the light side of this fight. The side of Luke.” the next wave caught her so off guard she staggered, and couldn’t breathe. It was like pure hot fire into her veins, as he finally crept his way into her head. Snoke laughed maybe only in his mind as he racked through quickly and unmercifully through her mind. Rey found herself on her knees when she came to next, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed. “You make him weak.” Snoke said next she raised a hand up and found her nose bleeding. 

“Do you really believe that your love can do anything other than hinder him?” Rey felt Ben’s unease behind her. His fear for her. She wondered if this was some sick sort of test, for either of them. “Kylo Ren.” She heard Ben stand up and her body twisted to face him in her kneeling position. “Kill her.” Rey was more confused than scared. 

“Rey, I must do this.” her eyes strained, and she realized that at some point she had been crying. Maybe in the time between she had been fully aware. But he raised his saber pointing it at her, but there was no doubt in her. There wasn’t a trace of fear as she looked up at Ben. 

“You are weak girl, weak and desperate. To think that you can deny-” it was a flick of will. Hers as a saber ignited. Snoke was stabbed through the side as she stood and turned towards him. He almost looked insulted as she called her saber forwards slicing him easily in half as the red guards all looked to her and Ben. He still didn’t died immediately, and worst of all was a feeling of pure success. Like this was exactly what was meant to happen. Ben nodded to her as she and him faced the slowly moving guards. They moved as if there was a huge weight on them and they could barely stand it, but she fired the other end of her saber creating a staff. Ben pressed his back to hers as they flaked them. It was a shiver, the last flickering life of Snoke and she felt him too smash into her mind. 

Rey wanted to stagger and scream, wanted to cut herself in half, but it was over quickly. Just like years and years before when she somehow killed Palapatine a part of Snoke entered into her. She had no real time contemplating it as the Red guards attacked and she had no time to really care either. In a way it was like Snoke knew too she was in trouble as her mind partly reached out slamming forcefully into a single one as they staggered back so easily dead that the others paused long enough for both her and Ben to make the first strike. 

She stabbed out catching one in the shoulder as it paused while Ben hacked heavily enough to stagger one down into another. She Leaned back reaching down as he just finished and kicked her foot out. It was bolstered through the force as one more staggered back and she griped the saber up still using the force to bolster her strength to keep her from being driven down by the two that struck her. Their weapons were coated in red lightning that nearly screamed like two sabers when they held on. 

One let go of his two handed axe, and she split the saber with a twist, making two sabers. One end shot out, barely missing her arm and shoulder but stabbing into his arm. Her whole saber shut off quickly, staggering the two as another tried to move to her side. She lept between the two, igniting the two just under their their arms. A weak point in the armor, she didn’t feel them die, but knew they were dead when they both slumped down and didn’t move as the rest near her backed away. Ben grabbed through the force rising one up and whirled on another stabbing directly through the stomach. 

The red armored guards backed further away from the two as Ben crushed the armor into the guard he held in the air, smashing it all down with a terrible sound of screaming metal and bone, blood almost exploded out from all the cracks as he dropped the crumpled half sized now thing and put his back to hers again. All of them paused now more wary as she caught her breath and twirled the two swords. Then ignited the other ends of these creating two double ended sabers. “Kneel, or die.” she told the rest, her voice unwavering as Ben brought his saber up to his head holding his out straight. 

She didn’t feel them, know their minds. But a simple turn as they all looked to each other. One, the one with the axe who now couldn’t use one arm went down on a knee. It was fast, his friend wielding a sort of chain sword moved out and quickly severed his head. It was entirely ruthless and seemed to startle the majority on Ben’s side. They attacked again, the one with the chain sword swiping, the end coming up and wrapping around one saber end and slicing easily into her skin and borrowed clothes at her arm. 

Rey Hissed but the last guard yanked, and she let him drag the saber out of her hand. She let it unlight, as it came right up to the guard then lit, as it passed its head. Stopping as if frozen in air and firing directly into his head. For a long sickening moment this one stood until he collapsed bonelessly on the ground. Rey called the saber back to her turning as the rest still frozen as she turned to them. They shifted unsure. 

“Kneel.” Ben commanded, waiting. The remaining guards looked at each other, and very slowly went down on their knees. Rey breathed out relaxing at they dropped all their weapons down and actually put their heads down to the floor. It was only when they were like that, that Ben and her finally relaxed fully. He turned quickly and kissed her. She felt him in that moment rippling into her mind. What was left of Snoke quickly was pulled out of her into him, as he shuddered by her. “I’m sorry.” he added as she blinked her head felt floaty and light as she shook herself. 

She shivered but let the sabers drop down as she hugged him. The doors snapped open a moment later and she looked towards Hux, as he walked in on the devastation. He seemed to think better than to draw his blaster pistol, but still almost put his hand on it. “What have you done?” he accused. The remaining guards raised their heads as rey called the two halves back up to her and put them both together. “You killed the-” it was easy, Ben didn’t even really think about it as he reached out choking Hux. 

He brought his hands up to his neck as he tried to breathe. “I am the Supreme leader.” Ben told him. Hux dropped down and nodded once, Ben let him go the next moment as he gasped in still down. “Do you understand?” he demanded. Hux nodded, and stood. Ben looked back to the remains of the guards as they too stood up. 

“All hail the supreme leader.” the guards intoned as one. A deep and empty baritone sound. Hux looked to them pinched and still ruddy from his brush with death. Ben stared down at Hux waiting, he bowed. 

“All hail the supreme leader.” he said. Ben straightened as he put an arm around her. 

“Get all of this cleaned up.” he snapped and slowly guided her out. Both of them shuddered in the near quiet back in the elevator. Rey turned to Ben as he put his head to his hand. “It is difficult…” he told her as she reached for him but he held up his hand. “Only you Rey.” she frowned as he offered a smile. It left a sort of chilling feeling inside of her, but it was her Ben as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. 

“Ben?” she asked quiet. He shook his head and that sort of vision that dream where she listened as Vandorack be strangled to death by the very man before her came back into her head. 

“Kylo Ren.” he told her as raised his hands up cupping her cheeks. “Just as you are Kira.” she shuddered. “Only you Rey, Kira.” he kissed her cheek. “You were made for this.” information flooded through her head. It was like all her questions were answered in that moment but none of them really were. Why, why her. Why was it her? She wanted to cry, but Ben, or maybe much rather Kylo held her as he put her head to him. 

“I don’t like it.” she mumbled as he smiled and kissed her. Rey wasn’t made to do much, it seemed like it was an easy thing. All the stories of the sith said there were two, that when the apprentice finally grew strong enough they would kill their master and then that master would become a part of them. Only it really wasn’t a truth, not until her. Rey Let Kylo take her out of the elevator as it stalled. Several troopers seemed to think better than to fight against the insurrection they had done. Instead they dropped their weapons down. Bowing in fealty as they walked back to his quarters. That would be changed soon. Soon she would be back home as well. 

To stand in front of her people and tell them that through her and Kylo that the First Order had shifted hands from Snoke. That now the two entities would join together. From there, Rey knew the Rebellion, the senate and everyone bright and happy in the force would know without a doubt she was pure utter evil. Maybe she was. “Rey?” she frowned at Ben as he held out his hand, she had stalled near the doors. Again she wanted to run, to flee to some dark corner of the galaxy to hide forever. 

“Like you said.” she told him. “It's Kira.” a brief look of sadness passed his face as she approached him, bowing her head to him and taking his hand. “I know,” she mumbled quiet as he tilted her head up to him. “I think I always knew.” 

“It doesn’t change you.” it sounded a bit like a question. But it wasn’t. Whatever sort of dark lump of a library she was, something made to take in darkness, she was still herself. Just as Ben as himself. “Thank you.” 

“No problem. Now,” she offered a smile to him. “Get me in contact with my people, lets get this done so I can sleep.” he smiled brightly as she went to the kitchen seat and settled down. Rey was a bitter little child, who had grown up into a bitter angry woman. If all those people who claimed to be her friends thought her intentions were less than pure it was their fault. They went on about trust and love, but where was that when she was there? When she had done her best trying to stop a war and given up almost everything she had ever wanted or cared for, just for their own wants? What she wanted was here, and she couldn’t care less about them now. 

“What are you going to say?” he asked and set the device down. 

“The truth, if people like your so called mom doesn’t like it, it's her fault.” she tapped in the corresponce code and waited for the other end to connect. It was all too easy and she didn’t feel exhausted as she spoke to her main commander, telling them the news. While they were reserved Rey wasn’t. She shook herself. Kira wasn’t. Kira Rey Solari nee Palaptine. Well that was going to change, and she looked to Ben, Kylo as the message ended. “Come sit before me?” she asked he gave a small nod and sat cross legged in front of her. His hair wasn’t that long, but she threaded her hands and fingers through his hair. 

Just as he braided her hair she made tiny little things in return as he stiffened and then relaxed closing his eyes and savoring the feel of her hands in his hair. “I do.” she spoke quietly. Not wanting to spoil the moment further than that. Words didn’t and couldn’t express how much she loved him, and how much she knew he loved her. That was all she had and she was more than willing to burn the entire galaxy down to atoms to keep it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how there are always two? That is what this is, if you played some of the games or know the EU basically it is implying that the master and their power goes into the apprentice when they kill them. This is what Rey was made for. Rey was supposed to be raised there and then kill him at a height of his power. But because he was so afraid of death and loosing all of this he got her as not that. So Rey even as a child was more powerful than him thus not allowing him to 'live' inside of her. Ben takes 'Snoke' out of Rey's mind and sort of merges with it just as Rey did.


	30. Miss Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey/Kira and Ben/Kylo see's Luke for a final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one final chapter an epilogue. A name change here since Rey has finally utterly accepted herself as Kira. And Ben as Kylo Ren.

She smiled and waited for the scan to finally end and bring her in. It was a tedious process, but even she had to go through with it. Not that a full body scan would prevent her from being able to kill anyone. It was ridiculously easy to do so. Even so, the guards waved her through and she stepped out into the hall. It was a mix of storm trooper guards and her Solari guards all waiting for those inside the large conference room. Kira took only a moment to call herself into a stern busy look as she entered.

All eyes looked to her briefly and dismissed her. They already were far too used to Kylo briefing her while they went through the many meetings and conferences as the two giant military bodies divided powers. They had yet to even begin to discuss spreading out into the side now desperately trying to make a blockade on her borders. Kira turned and walked with her chin turned up towards him. Kylo moved waving a hand out and turning as he pushed out the sole empty chair by him. Kira smiled and instead sat right onto his lap facing him as she put the small datapad in her hands between their bodies.

There was a rush of giggles, and another rush of disapproving murmurs. All those of the Solari say for one was female, and he was with the girls giggling at her. While the First Order was all male, say for Phazma standing at the other end of the large table as she briefed everyone in a large holo on it about the mockery that was the blockade. Kira kissed him and raised her hands to thread through his hair as he frowned at her.  _ ‘What?’ _ he asked. Catching on the edge of her mirth to smile at her and kiss her back. 

Kylo’s hands came up her back touching her as the meeting completely paused for their antics. They should be used to it by now. “Look and see.” she told him and drew back cocking her head towards the group. The First Order still looked peeved, Hux in particular, but all the Solari were smothering giggles. 

“I must try that with Sashi.” whispered one not trying to hide her voice. 

“Madam, if you are quite done.” Hux tried to prompt. Kira arched a brow and turned back to Kylo as he pulled up the datapad. He was nervous, and excited at the same time. It might take a long while before her vision took full shape, but she could help his come to fruition. A bright smile took his lips as he exhaled. 

“You…” he tried to speak. Instead Kira kissed him, pulling back to tuck herself further around him so that now she was settled across his lap turned into him. “Really?” 

“Medics don’t lie. But it is too soon to call him for sure.” Kylo shook his head, tossing the pad with a loud thunk onto the table. 

“Her.” She laughed and let it drop as they got another titter of laughter and another set of grumbling. 

“What is it that you require Hux?” Rey asked and grinned at him. He grimaced, he would have to know exactly what they had just talked about. If not he was far more dense than the Solari on her side who were exchanging happy glad looks for her. Most of the time they did in vitro. Most didn’t even have a set mate, but it was starting to change now that their powers were expanding into much more male dominated societies. Sometimes more by force than nature.

“They are amassing an army.” he stated plainly throwing his hand over the field. Kylo put his hand on her stomach and the other around her back. 

“That doesn’t look too much like an army to me Hux. Look that one right there, between the naboo fighters,” Hux grimaced but all eyes tracked to it. “That ship is barely held together. I think they pulled it out of the scrap yards of some planet and barely made it flyable.” 

“They have over a hundred vessel crack bombers.” Hux supplied next, the weighty ships were sitting ducks for any tie fighter to take. Made more as sucidal bombers the ships would try to float up to one of the star destroyers and land several large bombs all in one place in an effort to not only crack the shields, but also to fully penetrate the hull. Rey raised an eyebrow. 

“They aren’t that much of a threat.” Kylo supplied. 

“We draw them to attack us, on our ground.” said one of the Solari. She was older than Rey by more than half and had salt and pepper hair that was just like most Solari in a long braid going down her back loose. “There we have the advantage. We draw back further playing a defeat, and draw them into a trap with mines. Then all those bombers will be gone.” 

“We do have numbers on our side, we can push through.” commented a First Order general. 

“Numbers don’t mean anything when you have the right strategy.” shot the lady back at him. He flushed red not in shame but indignation and anger. “Do you goons always think overwhelming numbers means anything? If we beat them like that, we are sure to split them into a billion pieces. All running and hiding in dark corners festering.” The room went quiet as she spoke. “We can drive them to the furthest reaches, to the cracks and empty space around the edge. But even then these will live on. They will be maytars. We must strive to show everyone just what they truly are.” The first order men seemed sated with this speech. Even Hux thought it over a moment. 

“It would be good propaganda,” Hux mumbled, barely audible. 

“Do we still have a hollow ship?” Kira asked her people. They thought for a moment. 

“Two actually.” one said. 

“Good then we won't have to waste good soldiers. We set up those as decoys, as good bait, and cause them to attack us. We spring an ambush and take as many alive as we can.” 

“Why?” Phasma asked her. Rey looked at her. 

“Good propaganda. If we capture important people, and not kill them, we can instead put them into banishment. Make sure it is a good world that they can flourish on without help. If they think we won't execute them, and their leaders then…” Kira dropped off. 

“Then they will be all the more willing to expend themselves.” Kylo finished for her. “If there is a constant, and easily accessible feed of them, then it will be all the more easier for anyone, even Leia and Han to stick their necks out.” Kira felt a chill in the air. She felt the same sort of feeling when she mentioned Luke to Snoke coming from him. The kind of awkward familiarity where you didn’t know whether you were happy, or mad. Kira raised a hand and cupped his cheek, and he closed his eyes leaning into the touch. 

“Would they really? I heard they were far behind the line.” Hux said and looked at the two of them. He knew, most people knew exactly who they were, or rather once were. 

“They won't be, not for long once the fighting starts. Any word on Luke or any other Jedi?” they all shook their heads. Each of their respective areas had seen nothing, heard nothing. The few force sensitives that could even remotely try were already going around their communal space looking for any sign of Luke. Both of them themselves had tried looking, but to no avail. 

“We did find a old wayfairer from the ruins of the second death star.” supplied one of the First Order generals, this one looking barely old enough to rent a speeder let alone be a general. “My men found it and they are on their way here with it.” Kira smiled at him and he smiled back, much to the few sidelong scowls of the men around him. 

“Good. Thank you so much,” Kira groped for his name. “Mon Vex.” he straightened, clearly happy to be known by her. “Hux?” he sniffed and looked down his nose at them. “Would you like to lay out the plans for the ambush?” personally seeking him out was an honor and he blinked only once and nodded. Now pleased as well. Though she knew he would still be trouble. He had aspirations to rule, and may be happy with a small set of the galaxy once the threats were gone. 

_ ‘What are you planing?’ _ Kylo asked her mentally. 

_ ‘When you have a traitor and are not sure, you give them a rope to hang themselves with.’ _ she replied. He snorted and nearly laughed in front of everyone. It was an absurd notion to have Hux be a traitor, but if the ambush failed, and Hux knew this, then his sole chance at living for any amount of time after that was to run. As not even the rebellion could or would really hide him for long. Not when war well and truly broke out. They’d need every single soul, and his would be first. Whether or not Hux knew this as they finished up on various good ambush points wasn’t up to her. Kira respected everyone, despite their doubts, that she didn’t just go into their minds and take anything. 

The meeting rounded up with very little needed input on their part, which made the two factions all the more glad. The First Order was too used to following orders and nothing else. Now with the pointed guidance of the Solari they were actually starting to think. “We will see to making the decoys.” the older lady said heading off with the general that she had ribbed. There was a particular wickedness in her gaze as she bowed. 

“Thank you Sehalan.” Rey told her, nodding her head to him. Kylo was busy, antsy waiting for everyone to get out. He didn’t care to break out of the dark brooding young emperor. Hux paused before he left letting everyone else leave. Kylo looked up at him glaring. 

“Ma’am, if I may?” he asked not looking to Kylo but her. Kira sighed. 

“What do you want?” she asked him. 

“This ambush, are you truly planning on capturing vessels alive?” he asked. She frowned remembering the vessels. 

“As much as we can, Particularly generals and above.” Hux grimaced. “General Hux.” she sat up in Kylo’s lap but didn’t leave it. “If the rebellion truly believes that we will do our best not to kill them, then they would be willing all the more to stick their necks out.” 

“I do not think that they are that stupid.” he told her. She stared at him. 

“Oh believe me, they are.” Hux narrowed his eyes at her, but then nodded bowing his head before he left them alone. It was one breath and then the next when Kylo gripped her tightly pulling her back flush to him and kissing her. 

“You couldn’t just take your seat.” he told her breathless and she could feel the wanting of her. He had been holding back so much, but one doesn’t scandalise themselves in public. At least not intentionally. Hux had walked in on her-his hand snaked under her clothes groping her breasts. 

“But I did take my seat!” she told him and nipped at his earlobe. Unable to hold it in he laughed stalling the forceful assault to just hold her. “Shall we retire?” he picked her up, even though she didn’t feel weak anymore. A small part of her saber fell out from her belt, and she summoned it with the force as he strode out. His people went tight lipped, at least those that didn’t wear helmets. Right now two of her lower soldiers were taunting a couple of troopers into taking off their armor. It was a sedate sort of scene, one that played out quite a bit now with all the mixed forces. Their heads turned to them as he carried her towards the nearest room. Nothing really than a short sleeping quarter for long meetings. A bare shift of a bed that had many more bunks all lined around it. Kylo locked the door behind him as he set her down. 

She shivered and leaned into him as his large hands ghosted on the outside of her clothes. She hadn’t stopped wearing the Solari colors and it was like a ghostly void was touching her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t…” he said and swallowed. “I couldn’t complete the vision fully.” 

“They don’t need to be completed like that,” he frowned as he peeled down the neck of her clothes kissing the back of her neck. “Uh, visions are guidelines.” 

“Since when?” he asked but was smiling. In the few short months they had actually come together fully, joining forces much to the joy of the Solari. The First Order had spent so many resources in helping them. Much more so than the other side. Far more willing to just let their genetics fall into their hands, many more rebellion soldiers wanted everything to do with their children. Which very few Solari females liked, preferring to remain alone or raising children in small communal creches with others. 

“Since forever. I mean did that dumb ‘balance of the force’ person come about?” Kylo paused just about to peel off her clothes. Two people, Anakin, and Luke himself were both supposed to be the great foreseen balancer of the force. However much of that prophecy was so vastly redacted during the true Empire that even with part of Palpatine inside of her head she didn’t know it in full. Maybe it was something that was far far into the past, where  _ the  _ Balance lived that those jedi saw. Post diction was so much more easier than seeing the future. 

“Hmm… Let's just forget it.” she smiled nodding. “What do you want?” his voice dipped low and she shivered thinking. 

“I want you to touch me with gloves on.” he chuckled and nodded kissing her again. 

“Anything else?” he asked her she turned to him kissing his cheek as she filtered the information wordlessly. There was something dark and greedy that liked the thought of him fully clothed while she remained naked. “I see.” he kissed her shoulder as he drew her clothes down and then he frowned at her. “Now, now, what are you doing?” Kira had chosen not to wear underclothes today, or rather as soon as the medical results were in. They were somewhere in a corner on the ship along the way here. Likely been picked up by a cleaning droid and thrown away. 

“Oh? What? Is something wrong?” she asked back coyly, drawing out of his arms as her clothes hung limp off her. Kira spared a bit of the force and completely unlatched her shoes. Settling dainty on the edge of one of the metal bunks she kicked off the shoes as he watched her. The socks were thrown at them and he bared it without moving, only watching her. “Well?” she asked as he waited a moment longer. 

“Now Kira,” he tsked as she gave him an innocent smile. He walked up to her and she tilted her chin up to stare up at him. “Did you plan on this?” she hummed a note looking away. 

“Did I?” she asked back surprised. He chuckled, and pushed the robes off her arms. Not wearing pants but just a long robe to her ankles tied with a simple sash that was easily taken off by his nimble fingers. 

“I know you did.” he kissed her hands brushing down her shoulders to her wrists. She didn’t flinch but almost expected him to use the force to put them above her head. Instead he gently guided her down to lying on her back as he took his time in running his gloved hands all along her body. Kira was squirming hands fisted at her sides from a dark look he gave her when she had tried to clutch at his back. Standing and leaning over her one of his hands finally went between her legs and she made a whining noise as he slowly went up but didn’t cup her just yet. 

“Kylo, please.” she breathed out straining not to touch him. He smiled softly at her. 

“Next time, we don’t walk around the ship without our clothes off.” she huffed at him scowling. 

“I wasn’t naked!” she snapped and he gave her an arch look. His hand barely was resting there so that only her small furtive movements had him just barely touch her. “I’m sorry please. I won’t do it again.” she pursed her lips trying to look pathetic. 

“Good.” he leaned forwards and kissed her as he cupped her stroking her up and down with the slick but unyielding leather clad hand. 

“Unless you want me to.” she added to him in a whisper. His hand paused just for a moment and she was sure she might have mistepped. But he slowly pushed a finger into her as she again tightly fisted her hands to the point they started hurting. 

“You are so very bad.” he joked and kissed her forehead. “Touch me.” she let go of the sheets and immediately began not only kissing his cheek, chin, neck, and ear but threaded her hands through his hair as he slowly worked her up. With his thigh so close she could feel the press of his erection and knew almost exactly how to repay him for this small fantasy roleplay. He cleared his throat as he felt the thought from her. 

She bit into his clothed shoulder to prevent screaming, now muffled as he groaned. Wanting really nothing more than to just take her then and there. But there were a lot more meetings to be had today and it promised to be an exhausting night. He took a moment as she gracelessly flopped off the cot and then knelt before him as he straightened himself. It was only a little work, he was painfully hard as she threaded his cock out from his clothes. 

One warm and wet glove fisted into her hair grabbing the back where she had it tied into a short braid. Her tongue ran along the tip as he groaned and breathed out. Sucking him into her mouth she kept her tongue on the bottom where he was very sensitive as she put one hand onto his thigh, the other slowly stoking what she couldn’t reach. He set the pace after that even groaning in pleasure making sure he didn’t choke her that much onto himself. She felt him grow near and let go of the hip to stroke with both hands along the spit and pre-cum slicked cock pulling back so that when he spent himself it was into her open mouth. 

Missing a little and getting on her cheeks he sighed looking down at her as he grew soft enough for her to tuck him back into his clothes. Then while he stared at her used her fingers to swipe at the cum all over her and swallow it. Just like the rest. It was then that without much preamble or warning for that matter a young First Order soldier walked in. 

A furious sort of look crossed Kylo’s face as the young man gave a small gasp and ‘eep’ of fear before rushing back out. She laughed as he turned intent on finding him, she caught his wrist instead. Bringing the wet hand from her to her mouth and lavering that as he turned his full attention back to her. “It's fine.” she told him. One nod and he quickly helped her to dress frowning a little as she leaned on him pressing her chest to him. 

“Tonight?” she asked and he nodded. “I’ll see you later then.” she kissed him and both left separating at the doors with one last kiss. Kira was busy overseeing more construction, and with the recent battle plans to be enacted she wanted to make sure that the empty shell of ships were proper bait. There was a small gravitational pull to fully made ships, so they would either need to amass that with debris shoved into the shells or with a small machine. Even both just to ensure the trap was laid out more than full. 

“Alright bring them in.” she gestured. The massive docking back brought in the two massive ships. They were on Star Killer base as she nodded over the ships. The outside would need very little work, most of the time on Jakku that was the last that went. It was the hardest to break down into usable scrap, or rather, carrible scrap. Going up and around the bay as all the men, women, and droids pumped in air into the cavity of the ship so people can get to work. 

“Would they have life scanners?” she asked. But those can be fooled given enough time for the various forms of scanners. Passing through the ship and into the dark and still cold ship she frowned. Inside it was a random mess of various connections and empty corridors vacant of everything. At least as far as she could see. However, there was something alive on the ship as she barely touched the half of her saber she kept with her. It wasn’t the full staff, but it was better than nothing as she went further into the ship. 

Pausing once more deep into the ship she frowned at an untouched area after the intense stripping of the ship. It looked like a life boat of a sorts, but there was something living inside of it. Taking a hold of her saber it was when it opened suddenly that she lept back fully feeling who it was. An alarm in her head that was quickly brought down and prevented from being sent out. Luke stepped out with a frown, flanked by Voe, and Valeena. The two seemed to sigh in relief when it was her that was in front of them on a simple metal grating that was installed instead of floors. 

“Luke?” she asked backing away, but froze and looked back. Four more, she didn’t know their names but they had slid up behind her as her terror of him was there and where she was completely prevented from reaching out to Kylo. 

She didn’t know if he first sensed her terror and was now on the way to where she was or not. Or thought she suddenly might have died. Either way would bring him here, but either way she was out manned. Luke looked older, with thick shaggy unkempt look. Breathing out Kira frowned and held the saber tightly waiting, they did not look like they actually expected her here. Instead probably working as a infiltration team to bring down this base from the inside. 

“Rey.” Luke said shortly. She flinched as the ones behind her lit their sabers. “NO!” they froze as she twisted herself trying to focus on both teams as she lit hers. “No. Rey.” she didn’t look at him as one by one the four let the sabers drop and turn off. She didn’t turn hers off, instead she concentrated. In that small place where her and Kylo had been together, now more than once, and almost completely joined as one person she found him. Mid panic for her safety, calming himself the moment she was back into his mind. But not that calm as he rushed for her. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked warily, backing up into a wall. She could blast it out and hopefully fall out before they killed her. She knew the designs of the star destroyers by heart long before she met Luke. Luke must sense, or even see her pure fear as he grimaced and held up his hand and motioned all the others to drop their weapons down. Kira concentrated, flooding out her power behind her and formed a ‘hold’ on the wall behind her. The moment she was threatened she was going to shove it out, and then fall down. There would be plenty of time to stall her fall. 

“Rey,” Luke sighed and she stared at him. “Help us.” she narrowed her eyes. “We are here to destroy this place. You should know just how bad this base is.” he was regarding her with blue eyes as she didn’t say anything. “Please.” Her heart skipped a happy beat when she felt Kylo in the hanger behind her. She quickly sent him the path she took to get here. 

“My name isn’t Rey.” she told him and tilted her chin up. “It’s Kira. It’s always been Kira.” Luke grit his teeth and with a flinch from Kira everyone but him raised their sabers igniting them. 

“I’m sorry.” he told her. 

“I’m pregnant.” the truth of the statement caused each and every single person say for Luke leap backwards like they were yanked back by the force. Valeena looked from Luke to Kira as Luke gaped. “I just found out today.” she added. They frantically started to look from Luke to her and back again. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Kira then actually smiled as the rest still hesitated. Kylo was on the just under her waiting. But the rest with this still clear intent were not happy at all. 

“That is a very Vader thing to say.” she commented and blasted the wall off and kicked back falling down. It was a soft motion as she landed in his arms as Luke looked down and she was put down on her feet. “Out.” she rocked her fist back and punched a hole into the side of the ship with a large blast of the force. 

Luke said something indistinct, Kylo picked her up, and with a wave, both floated out of the ship and into the hanger were it was now full of various troopers and her Solari troops. He landed with a small huff and they were quickly surrounded and pulled away from the ship. “Should we fire on it?” asked one. Kira frowned and shivered. 

“No. Expel it, they will have to go back to their safety cells on board. QUICK!” the ship was jarred as all the safety measures to keep it still inside of the hanger were cut off. Kylo frowned at her, but with their combined force push it was quickly pushed outside of the energy field that kept in the pressurized air but allowed ships to pass through. She sensed panic, and at least more than one death before those that were inside were back in the bowels of the ship. From the expelling air the large ship turned in the opposite direction both of them kept the ship floating in the air, high enough that it would be a chore for anyone including Luke to push out.

While the planet Star Killer did have an generated atmosphere it was not as thick as humans could easily tolerate. Small fields kept it comfortable in areas soldiers and more would have to go into. But otherwise, anyone unprepared for the sudden depressurization would and did die. Jedi were stronger than that and could keep a small pocket of pressure around them, for short periods of time using the force. 

“Luke,” Kylo hissed. The man himself materialized in front of them as a force projection. He looked panicked but also grim. “You are willing to kill someone like her?” he asked as all the soldiers shuffled uneasily. One just by the projection kicked at it, their body passing easily through the false image. 

“I did not mean it like that.” he stated Kylo put himself between the projection and her. Kira reached out warping out the projection and the entire safety cell inside of the ship came into life, the other jedi did not look pleased but their eyes widened as they too now were a part of this. “You have to believe me. I was only going to incapacitate you.” but it was really too late. The failed infiltration left the group nearly at their mercy. It was likely they did not expect her to examine the ship herself. “Rey, Ben…” the two of them huddled a little closer to each other. “I know what happened. But what you are doing is wrong.” 

“What else shall we do?” asked Hux, finally now coming onto the scene. Kira straightened. 

“No time like the present to enact our plans.” Everyone in the projection paled. “Luke Skywalker, Jedi master and his allies here. You will be banished to an uninhabited world.” they all seemed to relax. Luke stared at her. “There under heavy blockade you will live and live with your decision to try to murder me, just as I learned of a child concieved inside of me.” Luke glanced around, and knew that this was being recorded. Whether or not the recording devices could see the projections was moot. 

“Rey you can come back, you can help us, you know without a doubt this is wrong.” he told her. Kira shook her head. 

“No. You are wrong.” she stated and dropped off unable to say more. 

“Tether that junk and get it to its prison.” Kylo commanded and soldiers rushed to comply. “Kira, you don’t have to talk anymore.” he put his arm around her shoulders. She let him guide her face into his chest as Luke grimaced. “Have anything else to try to say Luke? I’m sorry?” Kylo prompted. Luke remained quiet for a long moment. 

“I don’t want to have to kill the both of you.” he told them. “Please. Understand.”

“You won't even get the chance to.” Kylo replied Luke shook his head. “The force is with us, not you.” 

“You killed children!” Luke accused the both of them. “How many died in those tethered crates Ben?!” Luke yelled. “Both of you, both of you are corrupted, and I see now it is impossible to even think of trying to save you both.” Kira swallowed and turned to Luke. 

“Put them on Atch-to.” Luke went slack blinking. “I know where it is, maybe you will actually learn what I learned there Luke.” her voice was quiet. “That balance isn’t just the Jedi.” Luke vanished but her pull on the projection didn’t she looked at the surviving members all crammed into a singular safety cell. “All of you have a choice. Join us, or live forever on the planet we provide you unmourned. The world doesn’t need Jedi anymore.” the projection vanished. 

Kylo grimaced but finally the large destroyer was tethered out and the both of them wondered if the cell was going to be empty as she relayed the coordinates of the ocean world. It would be slog for them just as it was for her to survive there. “We will need to set up regular supply shipments.” She could feel Kylo’s frown at her. “I’m not cruel as Luke to abandon someone on a world like that without a single solitary ration.” 

There was plenty of murmurs around her as Kylo pulled her into a hug. “I just want you to be safe.” she nodded and kissed his cheek. “No more checking on things yourself.” he warned her and she smiled hugging him back. Nodding she let him sweep her out of the hanger, barking an order to make sure the entire galaxy could see what happened. If needed many of those present could render in what they saw with an explanation of what had happened. A plan to kill the well over billion soldiers on this base. Without thought, without care, and definitely without a single solitary warning for anyone to even try to escape. 

“Are you okay though?” he asked her shutting the door to their private quarters. Kira snorted and smiled at him. “Is she okay?” he asked, quieter. She sent a shiver of power through her and then nodded. Running a hand through his hair he sighed in pure relief. 

“I was so scared,” he began as she took his hand and held it. “When you suddenly vanished.” 

“I know, but he doesn’t know about the bond.” Kylo grinned finally and settled down beside her on the bed pulling her back to lay down staring at the ceiling. 

“He really thought that he was right and okay with hurting you to get what he wanted.” she waited. “You didn’t even try to stop him.” it wasn’t an accusation. 

“If you want to turn loyal people from a source they believe is right, you need to first plant a seed of doubt into them. Which I’ve more than did.” he laughed. 

“Do you think he will still be there when they get there?” she shrugged. 

“It doesn’t matter, when the galaxy learns that Luke is willing to murder a pregnant woman… everyone will doubt him from now on. Not only him, but it also casts Leia into a pure doubting place as well. When she goes to Luke to ask why… or tries to anyways.” he sighed again by her. “You can win fights more by talking sometimes than by fighting.” 

“That was one of the teachings of yours I don't understand.” he said. 

“They have to know their martyr isn’t that. Luke can sit there and rush at an evil force all he wants, but if it is shown he is attacking an force that not only doesn’t fight back, but is…” she put her hand on her stomach. Thanking the timing of the little growing thing inside of her. “Pregnant as well, that alone is enough for the majority to finally cast him out as a solely good force in the world.” she held up her hand and he took it. “Then when Leia confirms that he was planning on attacking me, and possibly killing everyone on this base, which includes us…” she raised up and kissed his forehead.

“She’ll hate him.” he finished for her. “She’ll hate that he has given up completely on me.” she grinned down at him. 

“Is there still a Ben?” she asked him. 

“Is there still a Rey?” he shot back and both laughed. Maybe she thought as he pushed himself up. Maybe a spark, but neither were they full of just pure darkness. Her lessons of her true master, the Balance had served her well. It would be most democratic, but they would still be the heads of the entire thing. Get people to follow the sweet, not the stick was the plan. Kira shook her head thinking about the foolhardy past self. The pure hopeful little girl still looking up to the stars for someone, anyone to come back to her. 

“No. There is no Rey anymore.” he said sorry a thousand times. But it wasn’t something she wanted to hear. Anyone can say sorry, but to prove it was a different matter. Luke never proved to her this, and she didn’t regret her actions that brought her here. “All I care about is that I have you.” she said and leaned into him preventing him from standing. 


End file.
